As Crystov Razetti enters the lockerroom of Vladimir Strife, he finds the GodKing nowhere in sight. He walks around, carefully peering into each crook and nanny as though Vlad were a master champion of hide and go seek, perched and waiting to pounce out at the first chance. Tired and sluggishly, he does so with little flare or the over the top antics he's accustomed to, hoping no one will think him lazy and will totally understand because, seriously, you guys, he got like 4 fucking hours of sleep last night and would fuck a sea urchin if it meant he could get 4 more. As he passes by some sort of countertop, he finds a small blue pill laying upon it. It is not viagra, nor should anyone mistake it for such, because, screw it, it was actually beige and only appeared blue rather briefly to the sleep-deprived eyes of the Reaper.
"Oooh, piece of candy!"
As Razetti downs the pill, mistaking it for a skittle, he hears the door shut and turns to see the scarred and now shocked face of the Barbarian Lord. Vladimir sets the Mountain Dew he's retrieved from the vending machine down and pinches the bridge of his nose, annoyed at what he sees before him. Before he can ask Crystov if he's actually done what he believes he has, the wirey Japanese native answers the question with one of his own.
"Where the hell do you get that candy? It tastes awful!"
"...God damn it.."
"What? Did I take the last piece?"
"No.. You took my medicine.."
Razetti gives him a 'yeesh' look, which truly requires no explanation beyond that.
"Oooh... The medicine that helps keep you in tune with reality and from going all psychotic and trying to murder people?"
"...Yeah."
"Soo... I just remembered... I actually promised one of my less... homicidal.. friends.. that we would hang out today and do some non-murdery stuff.."
As the Reaper inches toward the hallway, Vlad sighs and shakes his head.
"It's one day's dosage, Crystov. I'll be fine. It'd take a few missed doses for it to really present an issue."
"Say, Vlad, if it keeps you in tune with reality and I already am, what do you think it'll do? Do you think maybe I'll like... become in tune with reality in some form even beyond what I normally am?" Crystov said, vaguely foreshadowing the point of this seemingly randomly filmed sequence.
"Fuck if I know.." His leader replied in a dismissive and dickish way.
Suddenly, the Reaper's eyes grow wide and he seems to stop in place, registering no response as Vladimir waves his hand in from of his face and snaps his fingers. At a point in time just long enough to make it moderately believable without extending to such a point as to lose the interest of a viewing or reading audience completely, Razetti snaps back to, beginning to babble about what he has experienced.
"Oh... my... god. Vlad, it happened!"
"What, did you balls finally drop?"
"No! Wait, I mean, yes, they did - years ago - asshole. But that's not what this was. I saw another reality!"
"Yeah... no, I'm pretty sure there's just one reality. That's kind of the whole selling point of reality.."
"No, no, there's totally more to it! Okay, so, you know how you're you but you're also - you know - 'Awr rar rawr, I'm a GodKing and II'll beat you up and bully you just because I can, cause I'm super awesome from growing up in a shit-poor country where we had nothing better to do than practice a 'sport' we somehow saw on television despite not being able to afford electricity'? Kind of like there's this real Vlad off camera and then on camera, it's like you're maybe being a little more.. showy, like you're portraying some sort of charicature of yourself?"
Vladimir looks around suspiciously, focusing on the camera for a moment.
"No.. I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. This is who I am, Crystov, the kind of badass who beats the shit out of scrawny fucks for no particular reason, but especially when they ask him awkward fucking questions."
"Vlad... give me a hug.."
"What? No, fuck off."
"Come on, Vladdy, bring it in for a hug.."
"I am going to send your teeth flying out through your asshole with enough force that you'll have to register your sphincter with the ATF if you don't knock that shit off."
"See? You can't do something outside of your norm, despite the fact that pretty much everyone does all the damn time and everyone in the world seems to be multi-faceted except for us and our peers when we're here. It's like you're stuck in this character and can't break it!"
"The fuck are you talking about?"
"Vlad, I saw another... fuck, I don't know, another realm? It was full of other people!"
"Yeah, you sure you didn't just hallucinate about some other place?"
"No, no, this was real. And it wasn't just some other place, Vlad. They existed in a realm above us!"
"So, heaven then?"
"No, see, they were real and we weren't! They made us! All of this around us was created in this higher realm! This door, this counter, color changing pills, the XWA, all of it was created!"
"So, these people in your delusion are gods?"
"No, Vlad, no.. seriously.. Look, there were normal people there... but the people who made us.. all of us... were... they were..."
"What? Spit it out, already."
"..Nerds. They're nerds, Vlad."
"Okay, yeah, you're losing it."
"No, no, I'm not crazy! It was crystal clear, Vlad. You, me, everyone here, we're all just creations of a network of computers, manned and engineered by a bunch of nerds and virgins! Virgins, I say!!!"
"Wait? So, you believe there is this realm of people, in which the nerds and virgins have collaborated to create some fictitious wrestling federation full of made up characters and we are those characters?"
"Exactly!"
"Crystov, I'm sure people, even in another realm, would have better things to do. You really think I'm just a figment of someone's imagination?"
"Oh yeah, totally. And being you're so good, it probably means that nerd is like the GodNerd. The Barbarian Nerd - if you will."
"What about Maddox? I mean, I'm going to beat the shit out of him, but still, he's pretty good.."
"Oh, total virgin. Just like the absolute most virginiest virgin you could imagine. Mother Theresa has gotten closer to getting nailed -postmortem even - than that guy. He couldn't buy love with a trunk full of hundreds and a glovebox of rohypnol."
Vladimir enjoys a brief laugh.
"But seriously, what exactly is the point of this?"
"Uhm, duh, to establish that I've experienced a change in character and pave the road for future segments along the same path."
"..Right. And if this all is so.. If there's this alternate or higher reality in which these nerds and virgins create and control us, then what is the point of continuing on? It sounds like none of this should matter then, anyhow, why not just shave your head and go become a buddhist monk or something?"
"That's the thing. I can't control that. All of this still matters because even if it's not the true reality, it's still OUR reality. While it doesn't matter overall, it matters to us. We're bound to a fate, a reality, an existence that is merely a lie! Cruel fate! Why do you do this to us, virgins!? Lay down your cheetos and answer me! No longer shall you hide from my sights in the dank recesses of your mothers' basements!"
The men stand there in silence, awaiting an answer or sign that will not come. After a moment, as it begins to grow awkward, Razetti turns toward the GodKing and shrugs.
"Eh, they're probably busy watching porn."
Crystov calmly walks off, exiting the lockerroom and leaving a confused Romanian shaking his head as the camera cuts away to something else, having already wasted enough time on this seemingly insignificant encounter.
Subject: (Rage) PROMO | Crystov Razetti - "Down The Rabbit Hole" 
