Vendetta comes back from commercial break. The visual appearance of everything in the arena looks outstanding with the bright lights and the roaring crowd. Present inside the ring is The Piece of Eden, Jared Jerusalem. The man, who's wearing a well-made suit and shades, has been in a downward spiral as of late, losing at Big Ass American Bash and losing his tag title weeks later. Surely The Hypocrite Hunter must have something to say, and all of the people in presence is anticipating for his announcement. As The Self Proclaimed Savior of XWA was about to speak - he removes his shades, revealing a teary-eyed expression in his face. Who could blame him? He's been put through hell and back by that masked menace, Azrael.

Jared Jerusalem: Azrael.... In case you haven't realized, you have taken almost everything from me. And I don't mean that in a cheezy drama sort of way. You've taken away my woman. You've taken my pride, my dignity! And You've taken my title!

Joey Miles: Is it me or does Jared sound like Tom Cruise to you?

Ted Cedar: Wh-Wait What?.... Just pipe down and listen.

Jared Jerusalem: Few weeks ago, you challenged me to one more match at Rev Wars.... I've said this once and I'll say it again, Jared Jerusalem is not afraid of a fight! Come Revolutionary Wars I'm not going to take ten percent away from you, not twenty nor fifty! I'm coming to take everything!

The crowd cheers along to the everlasting intimidating threats, dished out by the Piece of Eden himself. Again he's throwing himself into another snake pit. The last time he met Azrael in the ring, it did not go well for him. But the Savior seems intent on finally beating the Tag Champ this time. A sudden barrage of "Lets get crazy!" chants break out from the audience. Jerusalem smirks right in front of the camera, letting the cam get a shot of a crazy look in Jared's face.

Jared Jerusalem: You see, the truth is that you need me... Yes you heard it right. You need me. Because the truth is that it isn't Robert Hope that's made you the fastest rising star in this business. It's me! The moment you sank those sharp blades on Empress' face and got my attention, that's what got the whole of XWA's attention on you. Hell you're facing Maddox Paine tonight. Who are you going to thank for all of that? Me! You've got the Joker syndrome mate, you can't live without the Batman in your life. Me! So as soon as we're done... You'll fade back into being Robert Hope's lackey. Hey, I wouldn't be surprised if he changes your name to assjuice!

The fans erupt into loud cheers as the cocky charm of their favorite douchebag re-emerges. With his tears all gone and that arrogant smirk back, the tactless, Jared Jerusalem speaks his own hurtful brand of truth again. HOPEfully with Azrael's crazed mind, he isn't affected by Double J's trash talk. Or else this might go...Err... Very bad.

Jared Jerusalem: Now back to the matter at hand. Azrael, I'm not just going to pin you at Rev Wars. I'm going to hurt you, to put you through the same hell you put me through!

The fans explode with a shocking reaction. They can already picture the blood and wreckage once Jared Jerusalem and Azrael meet once again at Revolutionary Wars VI

Jared Jerusalem: So I accept, Azrael, you psychotic fuck! What’s this match going to be. Huh!? Fuck it! It doesn’t even matter. Just know that I'm going to destroy you in the match. Hell we might even die. So be it! At least we'll both be in hell where I'll torture and torment you for eternity!

The lights suddenly go out in the Chesapeake Energy Arena, though this isn’t for long, as the titantron starts to illuminate, showing brief flashes of static, before showing an old, abandoned arena with a wrestling ring in the middle. The chairs around the said arena are deteriorating with age, the ceiling having numerous holes. Barricades around the ring are knocked over, and the ring itself has many missing turnbuckles and fallen ropes. In the middle of the ring, Azrael is seen sitting in lotus position, the only thing illuminating the ring being the moonlight beaming through the ceiling’s holes. In front of the Masked Psychotic, the barbed wire board used at the Big Ass American Bash is seen, still stained with Jerusalem’s blood. The camera’s position shifts all of a sudden, having it placed adjacent to Azrael in the bottom of the ring. The Masked Man’s figure is covered by the barbed wire on the floor, but The Tag Team Champion still looks directly into the camera’s lens, as if looking at Jared through the titantron, and he begins to speak.

Azrael: Well well well, big words! HAHA! I don’t need you, Jerusalem. In fact, after Rev Wars, there won’t be a Jared Jerusalem. I’ve took everything away from you, now all that’s left is..haha..ERASING YOU FROM THIS PLACE. You talk of how I only matter because of you!? HELL! I could’ve went for anyone. ANY FUCKING ONE, to go for, and people would still talk of me. If anything, you’re the one who needs to thank me! People have been empathizing with your sorry ass! All these fans wanting to see their hero tear me apart, unfortunately, children, heroes don’t exist., and as you can clearly see, your dear Jared Jerusalem is starting to slip away from his sanity. He accepts!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!

Azrael starts rolling around on the floor, laughing in a psychotic fit. After a while, he regains his composure and sits back up, he lifts the tag title into view, then speaks

Azrael: You see this shit!? You fucking see it!? Your precious little tag title! I didn’t take this for the gold, no no no no no.

The Masked Man throws the title out of the ring. Then looks back at the camera

Azrael: I only took that piece of shit to further take everything away from you! I don’t give a fuck if me and Cerberus face Cultural Experience, or the Logging Crew. What’s done is done, and I’ve robbed you of one of the factors that make you relevant. All that’s left for me is to tear you apart, limb from limb! And this I will do yes yes yes this is what I’ll do. You’ll put me through hell? EH!?

Azrael lunges at the camera, his eyes coming into view.

Azrael: LOOK INTO THESE FUCKING EYES. THESE HAVE SEEN AND GONE THROUGH HELL. YOU CLAIM TO PUT ME THROUGH IT!? I ALREADY HAVE, AND I HAVE PROJECTED THIS EXPERIENCE ONTO YOU. I AM ABOVE YOUR FICTIONAL GODS AND DEMONS.

The Tag Team Champion goes back to where he was sitting, and shows the lifts the barbed wire board into view, now fully obstructing the camera’s view of him.

Azrael: You see Jared, as “extreme” as our match was at the Big Ass American Bash, it could have been more, and with this…thing…it gave me an idea! Your screams and agony while being lacerated by this instrument were simply ecstasy to me! You wanna know the fucking stipulation? I’ll tell you. No no no, I’ll show you.

The camera shifts the view to show the whole ring, when suddenly tatic starts to obstruct the view of the video for a few minutes, before coming back up. The ropes of the ring have been replaced with knots of barbed wire, 4 other barbed wire boards are leaning on the corners of the ring, and Azrael is now standing in the middle, the bloodstained barbed wire board in hand.

Azrael: You see, Jared. This will be your final resting place. Our match? Barbed Wire Massacre. However, simply PINNING someone won’t suffice for me no no no, you have to be knocked the fuck out. So I’m adding this: The only way to win is through having your opponent down for the ten count. HAHAHAHA! WELL JERUSALEM!? AREN’T YOU FUCKED NOW!? Come Rev Wars, everything you’ve worked for will mean nothing. This is where The Piece of Eden ends.

The camera then shows Jerusalem, looking shocked, but then quickly smirking at the thought of the match stipulation.

Jared Jerusalem: Perfect. Fucking Perfect. You’ll regret this, you god damn psycho!

The video then cuts to static, and fades to black. The arena’s lights come back on. In the middle of the ring, Jared is laughing to himself, still looking at the titantron. This isn’t for long, however, as a mannequin abruptly falls from the rafters, stopping directly in front of Jerusalem. The mannequin is hung with a hangman’s noose, and is crudely designed to look like Jared Jerusalem. Around the mannequin’s head, a crown of thorns made of barbed wire is seen. Jerusalem drops to the floor in shock of the ominous message, mouth agape. The camera then cuts to the Jared mannequin’s face one last time, before cutting to commercial break.

Jared gonna whoop that ass.

 

Riley knows best

Woo, go Azrael!

If you lose, you're going to have to hunt rats for food, woo! Yay!

Great promo guys. You're doing a good job of building this rivalry.

"You see, Jared. This will be your final resting place. Our match? Barbed Wire Massacre. However, simply PINNING someone won’t suffice for me no no no, you have to be knocked the fuck out. So I’m adding this: The only way to win is through having your opponent down for the ten count. HAHAHAHA! WELL JERUSALEM!? AREN’T YOU FUCKED NOW!? Come Rev Wars, everything you’ve worked for will mean nothing. This is where The Piece of Eden ends."

I imagined Abyss reading off a script in his hand, looking back and forth nervously between the piece of paper and the camera while the fans boo'd without mercy.

^^

^

I had written a long fucking comment to this and it just got deleted by accident. -_- I really don't feel like launching back into the specifics again, so I'll summarize it. I did quite enjoy the promo, so please don't think that the cons list serves just to trash it. They're just things to consider re-working / suggestions for the future. Just PM me if you'd like me to break something down in more detail.

Pros:

- I enjoy the gradual buildup towards the match at Rev Wars
- Jared's bit at the beginning where he talked about Azrael only being known because he went after Jared himself was great. Well thought out and well written
- Azreal straight up saying the tag belts don't mean shit (and that he only took them to fuck with Jared). I'm sure the board of directors appreciates

Cons:
- Jared switching moods faster than Shade off his meds
- Jared's dialogue going from fantastic to straight up cheese ("we might even die!!!1!1one!!!")
- Azreal showing a ring setup for their PPV match on the tron. There must have been a better way to do this?
- The only emphasis being used was FULL BLOWN CAPS RAEG. Bold, italics, and parentheses can all be used to implicate other types of emphasis and make dialogue feel more realistic (like that~)
- Dialogue descending into cartoonish banter several times. Try saying what you're writing out loud; if it sounds silly for a real human being to say it, try putting different emphasis on certain words. if that still doesn't work, re-phrase it until it sounds more natural and believeable. Even in e-fedding, the best characters are the ones that include, to SOME extent, an extension of the RP'ers personality in order to bring a fullness to it. Ever heard that saying about authors always putting a little bit of themselves into every character? It can be used for the power of good (or heelish evil!).

Thanks for the feedback, will take into account :3