Ding...Ding...Ding...

Upon the opening bell, Maestro Punk charges away at his opponent before being caught with a huge spinning backfist to the chin. Maestro thumps down hard onto the awaiting ring mat. The XWA fans go nuts as their pain in the ass Punk drops down hard. Maestro lays straight on his back with a glossy look in his eyes. Dave Demento smiles at his destruction before rolling out of the ring. The referee can't do anything here except to call for pinfalls as this is a Unsanctioned Match. Dave throws up the ring apron and decides to look for some furniture. Dave pulls out an aluminum garbage can full of weapons and carefully slides it into the ring.

Adam Dennis: This won't end well.

Demento slides himself back into the ring and picks up the garbage can as a Singapore cane tumbles from the trash can. Demento realizes the tumbled cane and decides to pick it up. Dave twirls it around his head and decides to whack Maestro in the head with it a few times. Blood gushes from the downed Punk as Dave stands over him and smiles. The XWA faithful start chanting for the "Demented One" as he continues to swing away at Maestro's downed body. Shots after shots after shots hit the prone body of the Punk as blood continues to pour from his head. Dave throws the cane down and starts making his way back to the aluminum garbage can.

Ted Cedar: That was sick. But even though I hate Demento, we all want to see Maestro's ass kicked.

Dave rummages through the trash can and decides to pull out a pair of rusted scissors. Dave taunts Maestro with the scissors as the fans continue to cheer the bad guy. Dave makes his way to the downed Maestro and decides to sit him up. Maestro starts drooling with an unconscious look as Dave brings the scissors into his skull. Following a few deep digs, Dave decides to open up the scissors and cut off Maestro's spiky hair! Hair falls everywhere onto the ring mat as blood continues to pour down Maestro's now bald face. Dave stands up with the bloodied and decides to throw the scissors at the prone bod of the Punk. The scissors lodge into Maestro's arm. Blood continues to pour from Maestro's body as Dave sickingly smiles at his destruction. Dave once again heads over to the aluminum trash can and pulls out a very suspicious black bag.

Adam Dennis: Are those thumbtacks?

Dave opens up the bag and decides to drop the contents of the bag onto the ring mat. Thousands of thumbtacks fall to the ring mat as the XWA faithful cheer on in anticipation. Dave picks up the unconscious Maestro and pulls him next to the devious thumbtacks. Dave wraps Punk's arm around his and lifts him up high into the air. Dave drops onto his back as both men land themselves into the awaiting thumbtacks! Dave stands right back up as Maestro continues to lay down unconsciously on the thumbtacks. Dave walks over and ascends the turnbuckle. He stands up high on the turnbuckle before launching himself onto the prone body of Maestro with a huge elbow drop! Thumbtacks enter both men skin once more as Dave screams on in agony. A much deserved "Holy Shit" chant breaks out throughout the arena as blood continues to pour out of Maestro's skull.

Adam Dennis: What a maneuver there from "Double D"! That was great!

Dave Demento makes his way back onto his feet with Maestro's blood smeared on his chest. Dave gets back up and soaks in a "Thank You Dave" chant from the XWA faithful before signaling the finish. Dave taunts his opponent with a standing sleeping taunt before picking up the basically dead body of his opponent. Dave hoist Maestro onto his shoulders and launches him into the air. Maestro drops down onto Dave's awaiting knee and collapses onto the ring mat in a puddle of blood. Dave looks at his destruction before laying his body onto the prone body of his opponent. Dave goes for the cover.

...1...

...2...

...3...

Ted Cedar: Thank you David.

Ding...Ding...Ding...  

Dave Demento stands up with thumbtacks inserted into his back. He grins at the bloodied Maestro before pointing to the roof of the arena here in Richmond, Virginia. A standard porta potty makes his way down to the ring from the rafters as Dave looks up at the shit hole. The potty touches down in the ring as Dave opens up the door of the stinky potty. Dave picks up a microphone from his aluminum trash can and flicks the on switch. Dave brings the mike to his mouth before talking to his opponent.

Dave Demento: That was fun wasn't it? You see Maestro. You might be unconscious but I'm going to put you right where your career belongs... In the shitter!

The fans pop at the announce as Dave Demento picks up the downed body of Maestro Punk. Dave spits on his face before launching him right through the door of the portable toilet! Maestro lands face first into the loaded toilet as Dave proceeds to dump his face even further into the crap. Dave quickly runs out of the toilet and shuts the door. Dave signals it to go up as the portable potty gets lifted into the air. The potty stays in the air as a final shot of Dave Demento's bloody face looking up at the shit hole.