PROMO: "Tyler Lawson's Coming Out Party" | David Michaels Promo

**Due: Saturday November 16th, at 11:59 PM EST**

Due: Saturday November 16th, at 11:59 PM EST

Note, it's rather long. I didn't have a match this week, so I was able to go all out with this. If you manage to read it all, thank you!

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The night is drawing to a close, as another Vendetta is all but finished. The fans have been provided with a few minutes of ad time in order to take a breather from two XWA Hall of Famers having a great contest. However, even the booking power of Razor Xtreme versus Caleb Spires may not be able to possibly top what David Michaels has in store. We are welcomed back to the show by Ted Cedar and Adam Dennis, who take a keen interest in what has been laid out in the ring. The ring mat is covered by a thing red carpet, there are pink and white balloons tied to each of the corners, along the ropes are banners reading "Happy Coming Out" and four steel chairs folded out on the right side of the ring. Opposite them are three wooden stools, two of which have microphones on and in between the two sets of chairs and stools is a table that has several different framed pictures of Tyler Lawson, some of him as a child and some as an adult. One even has him dressed as a Pirate. Yep. It's going there.

Cedar:
"And welcome back to the final part of Vendetta, ladies and gentlemen, where we are set for something I never thought I would announce in my life..."

Dennis:
"Just say it. For once, I'm looking forward to something this moron is doing."

Cedar:
"Don't adjust the sound on your TV sets folks, as this is entirely correct what I am about to say - next up on Vendetta. Tyler Lawson's Coming Out Party!"

Dennis:
"Ha! This is going to be great!"

The crowd in the US Airways Arena becomes unglued once more, as D-Volution's theme music hits. This group has been unstoppable since forming, not losing a single contest in the process. The crowd knows they are dominant. They are cocky. They are bad ass. They are arrogant. But everything they have said they are going to do, they have backed it up. Last week JHalc and Michaels defeated Tyler Lawson and Evan Flare, stopping The Instant Classic's plan before it even got going. Now, after the message Michaels sent to Lawson at the end of that match last week, tonight he wants to rub salt into the wounds he viciously opened last week. The crowd bursts into cheers again, as JHalc and David Michaels come walking slowly out from behind the black curtain under the titantron, followed by the beautiful Nova who is looking extra sexy tonight in her cat suit outfit. Michaels leads the trio, looking rather fresh after not having a match tonight. Wearing the latest D-Volution T-Shirt, blue jeans and trademark black cowboy hat, The Showstealer proudly has his XWA World Heavyweight Championship resting over his left shoulder. JHalc is wearing his usual gear of D-Volution top, grey pants and gloves with his favourite fedora slanted over his head. All three are looking pretty pleased with themselves and, well, rightfully so.

Cedar:
"And here is the group that has been raising hell in the XWA over the latter quarter of the year. They spent the better part of a month tricking us into believing they hated one another, only for JHalc to swerve everyone and join forces with Michaels. Michaels then pretty much stole the XWA World Heavyweight Championship from Hitman Alex when JHalc used a sledgehammer inside the Chamber match. And now last week the pair out smarted Lawson and the returning Evan Flare, before sending a message to Michaels' opponent at XtremeMania. Can they be stopped any time soon, Adam?"

Dennis:
"Look, these three are not invincible. Yes, they been having a very good run since aligning with one another again, but they are getting far too big for their boots. These two have been simply asking for a dose of reality for months now and even though I think Tyler Lawson is an overrated idiot, he may just be the one to inject it into them. Either that or he's never going to come out of the closet..."

Cedar:
"Well apparently that's what this is going to be all about. JHalc and Michaels, in particular, have taunted Lawson for the better part of four years with this 'closet gay' stigma. I certainly don't feel this will end it tonight..."

Dennis:
"End it? You joking?! What Michaels is about to do is take a truck load of gasoline and dump it all over the fire in that closet. Fireworks are going to happen tonight!"

As Ted and Adam continue to discuss the history between the men involved, D-Volution have since made their way down the ramp and into the ring. Michaels is looking especially pleased with himself, as he walks over to the ropes and raises the World Title up with his right hand. He then starts playing just a little air guitar with it, before flicking round and heading over to the stool with the mics on. Picking one up, he waits for the entrance music to fade away. JHalc and Nova both site down each on a stole, JHalc twirling a second microphone around in his left hand. Notably he pulls out a mallet from one of his, seemingly deep, pockets and places it down dramatically on the table. The picture of Lawson jump up, as Jay slams the mallet down hard. Nova looks at him still not really understanding The Jack of Heart's fascination with hammers, but she tries ignoring it none the less. Michaels taps the microphone as the music dies away. And thus the insanity begins...

Cedar:
"Well here we go I guess. Ladies and gentlemen, I would just like to warn you right now that anything this man says are the views of himself and not of the Xtreme Wrestling Association."

Dennis:
"You're giving disclaimers now? Cedar, you've been here forever. This company has seen things that are WAY worse that what Michaels possibly has planned...such as Mack in action, for example!"

Michaels:
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...and that one fat Tyler Lawson fans sitting in the front one. I'd like to welcome you to the festivities that shall proceed this evening. We're now heading into the holiday season, so I thought what better way to officially kick it off for XWA...than with a coming out party for my good old long time friend, Tyler Lawson!"

Michaels turns and nods to the rest of his team, whom both give off an comical applause each.

Michaels:
"Tonight, I aim to help Tyler do something that he's wanted to do since he was a little boy...but, I will get to that in a minute. Before that, I have something I need to get off of my chest."

Michaels walks over to the ropes facing the hard camera and leans on the top one, looking out at said camera. He looks a little serious.

Michaels:
"HITMAN ALEX!"

Cedar:
"Uh-oh..."

Dennis:
"He just won't drop this issue will he?"

Michaels:
"Listen to me and listen reallllll good. You talk a real good game for a guy that can't back JACK up! What you need to realise is that you are not as good as you THINK you are. I don't you several weeks ago before I beat your ass for this World Title that you won the thing on pure luck. I told you I was going to get the title away from your phony hands and that's EXACTLY what I did. Now you can sit there in a dark corner, brooding, all you want talking about how us three are hypocrites. Let me remind you of something, OK? Tell me where I said I was this company's hero? Inform me of when I came out to this ring, picked up this mic and started thumping the Big Guy's Book from above? Well in the hell did I ever proclaim myself to be this company's role model? I DIDN'T! I came out here and said I was going to do what I wanted, how I wanted and whenever the hell I damn well wanted. I don't come out here and play up to these people. They can either love me or hate me, it makes no odds. All I care about is getting the job done, which is something you are unable to relate to. So don't sit there and get all pissy with me because you can't back your smack talk up. What happened to you in that Chamber was nothing short of genius. This cat outsmarted you and you're unable to deal with it. So like I've said before, if you want a fight, I ain't a hard man to find - I'm the guy with World Title. But if you're looking for a shot at it, get at the back of the line bucko, because the whole World knows you've been on a losing streak and losers are not World Champions, hence why you lost it to begin with!"

The crowd begins to cheer, as Michaels adjusts the title on his shoulder and lifts his right foot up onto the bottom rope.

Michaels:
"Oh, and one more thing. You even THINK about putting your hands on this piece of sexy woman right here and I'll kick your teeth so far down your throat, you'll be able to eat the ass kicking I'll be giving you!"

The crowd give off a huge "OHHHH!" as Michaels isn't sitting back idly letting the former XWA World Heavyweight Champion, Hitman Alex, talk trash about him.

Cedar:
"Oh my, David Michaels firing shots back at Hitman Alex who, only last week, strongly suggested he was going to attack Nova..."

Dennis:
"He's just scared of Hitman Alex. He knows when he gets another shot at that World Title, he's going to be the one that's the former champion."

Cedar:
"I highly doubt he's scared, Adam. He just isn't going to stand there and take crap from another superstar."

Dennis:
"Trust, he's scared."

Nova looks pretty smug right about now, as she was secretly a little worried at the suggestion Hitman Alex made during his air time last week. Michaels turns round and winks at her, reassuring his manager that she is in safe hands. However, Michaels decides he has paid enough attention to the former World Heavyweight Champion and proceeds with his real purpose.

Michaels:
"Now...moving onto the real reason why we are out here. As you all know, in just over two weeks time, I am scheduled to defend this XWA World Heavyweight Championship against one Tyler Lawson. It will be set inside the demonic structure known as the Tower of Doom, which is XWA's trademark match and it will be in the main event of the biggest show of the year, XtremeMania. However, for us to be able to move forward onto such a match, I felt that it was necessary to help Tyler with some of demons. Well, one in particular - his closetry status. For years now, this poor, poor man has been labelled as the 'Closet Gay'. For pretty much the whole time the DxWo was in existence, we tried to break those shackles away from Tyler...even though we put them on him, but that's another story!"

Cedar:
"Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story, right?"

Dennis:
"It works for me."

Michaels:
"I've noticed Tyler has been doing a lot better recently, coming back and winning the King of Xtreme tournament, the fans really getting behind him...not literally...but there is something still plaguing, I can see it. I know this man. I know he is a man that is depressed. He needs uplifting and tonight, D-Volution comes...eerrrmmm...not comes...eerrmmm...dammit...to the rescue!"

Cedar:
"Well thank God we're not PG rated..."

Dennis:
"Yeah, this could get sticky...I mean messy...I mean it could thrust into the wrong direction...I mean...balls...NO! Dammit..."

Michaels:
"So, ladies and gentlemen, as you can see my comrades and I have set up a delightful Coming Out Party for one Tyler Lawson, but this party wouldn't be complete without the guest of honour himself. So without further ado, get to your feet and put your hands together for the man that is going to lose to me at XtremeMania...'The Closet Gay'...TYLER...LAWSSSOOONNNNN!!!!"

As Tyler Lawson's theme music begins to blast into the arena, Michaels adjusts the title belt on his shoulder and turns to the entrance way, enthusiastically applauding his arrival. The fans also can't wait to see the King of Xtreme winner, though are somewhat amazed he will actually be attending this obvious mockery. The music plays for a while, before a figure starts to wander out from behind the black curtain. It doesn't take long to see that this clearly isn't Tyler Lawson.

Cedar:
"Oh my God...these guys never cease to amaze me..."

Dennis:
"...nice to see Lawson dressed up for the occasion."

Cedar:
"No, ladies and gentlemen, that is not Tyler Lawson...and yes that is someone pretending to be him..."

Dennis:
"...dressed as a Pirate!"

As this bizarre looking man begins to wander down the ramp, Nova is simply unable to hold back her laughter however JHalc suddenly leaps out of his stool and yells out...

JHalc:
"THE BUTT PIRATE! I LOVE THIS GIMMICK!"

As the crowd are dying with laughter, the apparent Butt Pirate makes his way up the ring steps, fully clothed in a comedy Pirate's outfit, and enters the ring. Lawson...I mean Pirate...stands in front of Michaels and JHalc, both are which are desperately trying to keep a straight face. Any moment now, as the pair look at the ridiculous individual, they are going to explode. Michaels then extends his hand, the Pirate shaking it before taking off his stupidly large hat. For whatever reason, this just sends Michaels into a host of giggles. JHalc is still managing to hold his laughter back, but it won't be for long...'Lawson' then takes one of the microphones on the stool and raises it to his mouth, as his music dies away. Michaels is keeling over, using JHalc's left shoulder for support to keep upright.

Fake Lawson the Butt Pirate:
"YARRRRRRRRR ME MATEYS! I BE THE BUTT PIRATE, TYLER LAWWWWWWWSON, AND I BE COMING FOR THAT WORLD TITLE AT PIRATEMANIA!"

Cedar:
"I...I...I don't have words..."

Dennis:
"Frankly, you don't need them Cedar..."

Michaels bursts out laughing once again, this time jumping up and down on the spot as he is in stitches. JHalc barely manages to keep his composure, but decides he needs to retort.

JHalc:
"Hold up, hold up...you're killing me here. I've just got to say this right now, just so we're all clear as to what exactly this is..."

Michaels can be seen taking deep breaths trying to compose himself. JHalc clears his throat, before leaning back a little and lifting the mic into the air...

JHalc:
"THIS IS THE TALEEEEE...OF CAPTAIN TYLER LAWSONNNNNNNNNN!!!!"

At this point, everyone dies with laughter. Hell, even the impersonator dressed in this stupid Pirate outfit can be seen trying to hold it back. Michaels drops to one knee, thumping the floor - this is too much and they haven't even begun yet! JHalc even finally gives in and allows the giggles to take over him. He slowly wanders over back to his tool, almost drunk like, using Nova for support so he doesn't fall over as he sits. Michaels slowly draws himself back up now legitimately trying to not laugh.

Fake Lawson the Butt Pirate:
"THIS BE NOT A LAUGHING MATTER MATEYS!"

Michaels:
"OK, OK...keep your eye patch on...alright, lets begin this...I can't breath...you just sit over here. That's it, right there....yes, the end one."

The Butt Pirate takes a seat on the far steel chair opposite D-Volution. However, as he does, JHalc quickly launches of his chair and swaps hats with the Pirate. JHalc places the fedora on the Pirate's head and then places the Pirate's hat on his own, before sitting down. The close up shows JHalc stroking his mallet, with a very serious expression, with this comedic Pirate's hat on his head. Yep. That just happened. Michaels doesn't even have any words for that and simply proceeds with whatever the hell this actually is...

Michaels:
"So, as I said earlier, you've been under a lot of stress over the past five years and even though you have been doing really well as of late, there is one last thing you need to address - your closetry."

Michaels walks to the seated Pirate and places his hand on his shoulder, sympathetically.

Michaels:
"It's a lonely place, Tyler, a place you've been in far too long. So I'm here to help you with it...no, no...not like that you sick FREAK!"

Taking Michaels words for a dirty meaning, the Pirate's expression turned to glee, before it was knocked right out of him just as quick!

Michaels:
"OK, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings....but it's for the greater good. So, Tyler Lawson...THIS...is not your life as we couldn't remotely afford to use that phrase, so we had to make up our own one. So, Tyler Lawson...THIS....IS YOUR CLOSET!"

Michaels then points up high, as the whole crowd looks up to the ceiling. Some object is beginning to lower from above. It can't quite be made out until its about ten feet above the ring. The whole crowd can't believe what they are seeing...it's sure as hell not a steel cage that's lowering. Nope. It's a literal, wooden closet that is lowering into the ring. Yep. An actual closet. The Butt Pirate eventually takes notice and as it begins to touch the ring mat, he leaps off his chair like a 5 year old girl that has seen a spider and shuffles behind Michaels, scared for his life. The closet finally rests in the ring in one corner. Michaels looks behind himself and tries to get 'Lawson' away from him...

Cedar:
"That's a closet isn't it? That is an actual closet that has just dropped down into the ring..."

Dennis:
"You know when the Butt Pirate came out and you said you seen it all?"

Cedar:
"Yes?"

Dennis:
"Well you were wrong."

Michaels:
"Would you get off me! Come on, there is nothing to be afraid of! You may have been living in this thing for the past five years, but we're here to help you fully come out of it! Come on! In order to stop your fears you have to face them....urgh...Nova, would you?"

Nova than gets up of her stool and walks over to the Pirate, receiving a few whistles from the audience as she does. She then grabs him by the eye patch and drags him back to his chair, forcefully placing him back in the thing.

Michaels:
"Stay there, dammit! This important. Now, I have gone DEEP into your a...affiliated known persons and managed to bring along some top notch guest for you tonight! So lets bring the first one out, shall we! JHalc, if you please..."

Still wearing the comical Pirate's hat, JHalc nods his head to his tag partner and gets up. With mallet in hand, JHalc walks over to the closet and twirls his weapon of choice around in his left hand. He then raises it above his head and brings it crashing down across the closet's handle, knocking it clean off. The handle of the closet drops to the floor, bouncing around the ring for a few moments, before JHalc reaches down and picks it up delightfully placing it into his pocket for safe keeping. Michaels comically turns to the hard camera and shrugs his shoulders...

Michaels:
"What can I say...he likes knobs!"

The crowd chuckles once more, as the camera shot captures the Jack of Hearts nodding in approval with the "not bad" expression...then the crowd laughs even louder...

Fake Lawson the Butt Pirate:
"YARRRRRR ME TOO!!!"

Michaels has no laughter left in him and just shakes his head - he's already spent.

Michaels:
"OK...so to our first guest...you knew her in high school...she was the person you had your very first crush on...that's right...ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...Miss. Babylons!!!"

Michaels pulls the closet door open and out comes Miss. Babylons, a bleach blonde beauty with a chest region that can barely fit on the wide angle cameras in the arena! Wearing a terrible pink dress, the Barbie looking creature steps out of the closet and stand next to Michaels. Nova raises an eyebrow, instantly hating this woman. Michaels gives Miss. Babylons a little applause before bringing her over to the centre of the ring.

Michaels:
"Welcome! That's a...uuhhmmm...that's a nice pair you have there...of ear rings, people, ear rings!"

Miss. Babylons:
"Thank you, glad I could come..."

Michaels:
"Nooo..nope, there will be no com--OHHH right! Yes...a-ha...we're happy you could make it. So tell us, I've already revealed you were this man's first crush, but tell us how you got to know Tyler Lawson."

Miss. Babylons:
"...who?"

Michaels:
"Tyler Lawson."

Miss. Babylons:
"Never heard of him..."

Michaels:
"What do you mean you've never heard of him?! He's sat right behind you!"

Miss. Babylons turns around and looks the funny looking Pirate suit wearing man up and down...he's looking rather scared of those assets she's possesses! She turns back to Michaels still with a blank expression.

Miss. Babylons:
"Nope. Never seen that weird looking man in my life before...why is he wearing a Pirate suit?"

Michaels:
"Jay, did you find the right woman?"

JHalc:
"I rang that number you left me on my answer phone..."

Michaels:
"I didn't leave you an---that was the number to am escort company you asked for!"

JHalc:
"OHHHHH...so that's why she's costing us five hundred bucks an hour! Well, what do know..."

Michaels scratches his beard, not believing JHalc actually got something horribly wrong for something that is a complete joke.

Michaels:
"So she's a stripper?! Wait, FIVE HUNDRED BUCKS AN HOUR?! When the hell did she arrive?!"

JHalc:
"...eerrrmmmm...last Tuesday!"

Michaels:
"WHAT?!"

Miss. Babylons:
"You owe he $84,000..."

Cedar:
"Eighty four grand?! That's a lot of money..."

Dennis:
"Totally worth it."

Michaels:
"To hell I do! Dammit JHalc...get out of here, lady...go one, get lost!"

Miss. Babylons refuses to leave without her money...however Michaels has a trick up his sleeve. He holds out his index and middle finger on his right hand and lifts them in front of her face. He slowly moves them past her line of sight and says...

Michaels:
"These are not the droids you are looking for..."

He intently stares back at her, determined this will work. Of course, it doesn't. Worth a shot.

Michaels:
"That never works for me...look, beat it lady before I get Cedar over there to smoother you in BBQ sauce."

She turns around and sees to where Michaels is pointing. Ted Cedar may be a wizard with the ladies, but his saucery...ha, saucery...doesn't work with this one. After just a glance and visions coming to her mind, Miss. Babylons races out of the ring and along the side of the ramp, out of sight.

Cedar:
"...so close."

Dennis:
"Story of your life, Cedar."

Michaels swiftly moves onto the next guest, as the Butt Pirate isn't looking all too pleased...

Michaels:
"Moving on, moving on...our next guest is actually a real friend of Tyler Lawson's because I rang this person up myself...that's the last time I give you anything to do, Jay!"

JHalc:
"You give a phone number, I ring it. It's how it goes..."

Michaels:
"Would you just shut up? I have another guest...ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the man that was Tyler Lawson's Principal in high school...Mr. Dick McDickinson!"

Michaels opens the closet once more and a smartly dressed, older man walks out, all dressed in a black suit. Actually, he looks slightly over done for this and clearly fancies himself as James Bond. The man walks over to the centre of the ring and waves to the crowd, before shaking hands with 'Tyler'...

Michaels:
"Now, Mr. McDickinson, tell us...what was Tyler like at school?"

The older man that is clearly in love with himself, moves his head down a little bit, leaning to the mic in Michaels' hand, proceeding to answer the question as 'Lawson' watches on rather eagerly. Most noticeably, the gentlemen has a distinctly British accent. The type that was around in the 1500s...

Mr. McDickinson:
"Well....Tyler...was a good boy. He always studied as hard as he could and would always be on time for his classes, though he curiously seemed to like drama class the most always asking for more classes to be arranged."

Michaels ponders for a moment, wondering why that might be...

Michaels:
"Well maybe he was fond of acting? Maybe that was a career he wished to pursue at the time? Hell, maybe it was just full of hot chicks?!"

Mr. McDickinson shakes his head, not agreeing with the suggestions...

Mr. McDickinson:
"No...no it was curious because he was bloody terrible at it. I've never known anyway make so many mistakes during a performance of Romeo and Juliet in my life!"

Michaels:
"Well who did he play?!"

Mr. McDickinson:
"...Juliet."

The crowd bursts into laughter, as Michaels does the same. But the chronic laughter gets even worse after the next sentence...

Mr. McDickinson:
"Though he did have a nice tush in those outfits. Very firm. Peach like....hmmmmm..."

The laughter does indeed raise, but now everyone is feeling slightly uncomfortable about this man...Michaels composes himself for the next question.

Michaels:
"OK, OK...peachy tush aside, do you think Tyler can come out of the closet tonight?!"

Mr. McDickinson:
"I will be more than happy to help...Mr. McDickinson is always here to help..."

Michaels:
"Alright, now you're just being creepy...sit down and thank you, I guess..."

Mr. McDickinson, if that is his real name, turns to 'Tyler' and creepily brushes his face with the palm of his right hand. The Pirate wearing Tyler doesn't even mind...Michaels moves onto the next guest as the screwed up gentlemen takes his seat.

Michaels:
"Alright, we have one mo---do we have one more guest Nova? We do? Is he hear? Oh marvellous! Well, Tyler, this is your lucky day as this final guest probably knows you better than anyone...well, anyone we could find anyway. That's right, say hello to your brother...KLASH!"

Dennis:
"Wait, this moron has a brother?!"

Cedar:
"Yes...yes he does. We haven't seen Klash in a while, mind you."

Dennis:
"THERE ARE MORE LAWSONS?! WHO THE HELLS IDEA WAS THAT?!"

Cedar:
"Presumably Papa Lawson has been round the block more than once..."

Dennis:
"Papa Lawson? Is this some sort of weird Smurf parallel?!"

Smurfs aside, Michaels walks up to the closet door once again and pulls it open. Before he knows what is happening, a bald headed man entirely dressed in sparkling pink clothing bursts out and begins dancing around! Michaels jolts back several feet, wondering what in the hell is going on. The man, who is clearly not actually Klash, is bolting around the ring like he's had way too much to sniff earlier in the night. The split legs, cart wheels and back flips are truly something to behold and he appears to not be running out of energy either.

Cedar:
"What in the God's name?!"

Dennis:
"Well somebody had their Weetabix this morning..."

Michaels:
"Jay, the hell did you give this guy for lunch?"

JHalc:
"Well I did think it was a bit odd when he requested 70 cans of Red Bull..."

Michaels:
"...and you gave them to him?!"

JHalc:
"Hey, I'm not paid to think, OK?"

Michaels:
"You're not paid at all!"

JHalc:
"...exactly."

Michaels:
"Wat?!"

JHalc shrugs his shoulders, as Michaels just shakes the whole issue off. He then walks over to the dancing fool and forces him to stand still, which takes some doing. 'Lawson' appears to be clapping along, rather thrilled that his 'brother' is here...

Michaels:
"Dude...if you don't quit dancing around, I'm going to have to handcuff you...even thought you make like that! In fact, I'll get Nova do handcuff you..."

The moment that idea is suggested, 'Klash' halts immediately and goes to his seat next to the perverted Principal. Michaels continues with the coming out party, as 'Klash' has an oddly deep voice...

Michaels:
"Well now that you are all warmed up for this...or drained, not sure, because that just worn me out watching...lets get some thoughts from you about your closet-staying brother. What was he like growing up?"

Klash:
"...he was a tool."

Michaels:
"Say again?!"

Klash:
"He was a tool. I hated him. He was the most annoying type of brother you could have..."

Michaels:
"And what kind is that?"

Klash:
"Being himself. He was just useless in every way. We would play video games together and he'd just suck so hard every time. We'd make lunch and he'd manage to somehow get his hands stuck in the peanut butter jar and he would never dress up in Mother's clothes properly. He'd get all the colours wrong, he couldn't walk in high he--"

Michaels:
"WOAH WOAH WOAH...he wouldn't wear your Mother's CLOTHES correctly?! You guys started earlier, didn't you?"

Klash:
"What, that isn't a normal thing to do?"

Michaels:
"MOVING ON...this is Tyler's coming out party, as you know, so this is a big moment for him. As your brother, how proud are you that he's finally accepting what he is, like you presumably did yourself?"

Klash:
"What are you trying to imply about me?"

Michaels:
"What?! Nothing! I mean, it's rather obvious..."

Klash:
"Are you suggesting I like men?!"

Michaels:
"Hey, don't get all defensive about it...there's nothing wrong. Ask your brother..."

Klash:
"I'M GONNA' KILL YOU!!!"

'Klash' suddenly lunges out of seat and goes for Michaels. 'Tyler' and the school Principal have to hold him back, as JHalc (still wearing the Pirate's hat) stands up with his mallet at the ready. Michaels stands behind his tag partner completely baffled...

Michaels:
"OK, easy Dancing Queen, easy...we're all friends here. Just sit back down and we'll move on, alright?"

The enraged 'Klash' takes a while to cool off, before eventually taking his place back in his seat. Michaels turns to Nova and widens his eyes, not sure what he just tapped into there. Never the less, Michaels decides to lighten the mood...lighten? Like this was serious anyway...this is a party after all!

Michaels:
"Alright...now we're all calm once again, I think now if a good time to really get this party started. Mr. DJ, if you please!"

There is no DJ, merely a member of the production crew in the back pressing a button. Yep. Right Said Fred begins to play. Welcome to the XWA.

As the fans really now believe they are in some sort of alternate universe, Michaels lights up like a fire fly hearing this song.

Michaels:
"OH OH OH! I LOVE THIS SONG! I'MMMMMMMMMMM TOO SEXY!"

Michaels tosses his XWA World Title over to Nova and instantly begins dancing around in the middle of the ring, shaking his read and making an utter ass of himself like only he can! He rips his shirt off and tosses it to the crowd, really enjoying this. JHalc looks on, rather worried, as Nova is actually tapping on her leg to the song. 'Tyler' appears to be enjoying this too, as the female fans all begin to cheer for Michaels dancing. He grabs the mic once again, keeping a little beat going with his feet.

Michaels:
"Come on! This is party time! I have hats, streamers and everything! All for you, Lawson, you closeted bastard you!"

The Butt Pirate actually begins to blush, as Michaels dances over to the closet again and opens up, bringing out several party hats and party poppers! He hands each person in the ring one, each putting it on their heads before doing so himself. JHalc, noticeably, stays loyal to his pirate's hat. Nova looks rather fetching with a party hat on, as Michaels looks a blithering idiot in it. He continues to dance around, encouraging everyone else to do so. The guest of honour, his brother and principal and slowly join in and begin to dance, rather awkwardly, with one another. Michaels then has a bright idea that might urge his tag team partner to join in.

Michaels:
"Ain't this fun?! Come on, Jay! Lighten up already....dance dammit'! WAIT! Where's that hooker gone? If she comes back she can slide up and down my pole all night long! I'll get her a hat. Jay, get her back here!"

JHalc actually stands up and turns to the entrance way, looking at it and rather pathetically motioning for Miss. Babylons to return. He really isn't feeling this whole dancing thing. David Michaels dances back over to the closet to fetch another party hat. However, this time when he opens it, he gets a nasty surprise...

Cedar:
"OHHHH WAIT A MINUTE HERE!"

Dennis:
"Wait...he's already in the ring!"

Cedar:
"That's the REAL Tyler Lawson!"

Dennis:
"He really is coming out of the closet!"

Tyler Lawson's fans blow the roof of the joint, as he leaps out of the wooden closet and smacks Michaels in the face with a right fist! Michaels is sent flying back, completely caught off guard! The real Tyler Lawson cracks Michaels in the jaw once more, this time sending him flying into the middle of the ring. Everyone stops what they were pretending to do. Nova leaps off her stool and gets out of the ring, leaving the World Title behind her. JHalc turns around and spots Lawson. With his Pirate's hat still on, he charges across the ring and goes for Lawson, missing him entirely as his long time foe ducks out of the way. JHalc rebounds off the ropes and charges back across the ring. Lawson simply grabs hold of his head and shoots him through the ropes, dumped down to the floor in front of the entrance ramp, Pirate hat flying away! Michaels struggles back up to his feet and turns Lawson around, lashing out with a right hand. Lawson blocks it with his left and smacks him in the jaw instead. He follows it up with a second and then a third, before picking one of the steel chairs up and tattooing him right across the skull of Michaels! The XWA World Heavyweight Champion drops to one knee, starting to see stars, as Lawson methodically places the steel chair in the middle of the ring. He looks down at Michaels with all the fury in the World at being humiliated like this, before pulling him up by the hair, turning him around and picking him up from behind, looking for the Toxic Spike!

Cedar:
"Lawson going for the Toxic Spike here! All hell as just broke loose!"

Dennis:
"This wasn't in the plan I'm sure! He's ruing the ONE good thing Michaels has ever done!"

Lawson doesn't get his wish of planting Michaels skull into the steel chair though, as the fake Lawson brothers pulls Michaels off of his shoulders and begin to attack Tyler. Michaels crumbles to the mat and slowly crawls across the ring. Nova and a hurting JHalc pull him under the bottom rope, to safety, as they then watch on as Lawson unleashes hell. The fake Lawson brothers have no idea what the hell they are doing and bother completely miss a double Clothesline, Lawson ducking it. He bounces off the ropes and leaps into the air on return, Clotheslining then both instead. As the pair attempt to gather their bearings, Lawson picks up a second steel chair and folds it shut. He goes to swing for Mr. McDickinson, who has been stood in the corner terrified this whole time, but soon bails at that site! Lawson then turns to the fake Klash and lifts the steel chair up, before bringing it down across his back. Shot after shot he nails the dancing buffoon, before suddenly turning and cracking the chair across the fake Lawson's skull! The chair bends completely over his had, before he drops to the floor. Lawson then picks 'Klash' up, grabs him by the scruff of his neck and send him flying over the top rope. Furiously, he turns to D-Volution and begins yelling at them, knowing this has gone too far.

Cedar:
"Clearly Lawson is not remotely amused by the antics of D-Volution and, more specifically, David Michaels!"

Dennis:
"I wouldn't want to be Michaels come XtremeMania. I think he's lit a fire under this young man's ass!"

Cedar:
"Now what's he doing?!"

Lawson turns around and drags his fake adversary up, picking him up (from behind) on his shoulders. He wanders around and faces Michaels, yelling at him "WATCH THIS!" before viciously dropping the fake Lawson down, head first, onto the steel chair with his Toxic Spike! The crowd can barely watch, as that was pretty damn sick what Lawson just did. However, it manages to change the crowd on his side with a strong "TY-LER LAW-SON!" chant. But he isn't through. Lawson walks over to the wooden closet and stares at it. He reaches inside and pulls out a black baseball bat. He holds it up in front of him and begins to smile, before turning and pointing at his XtremeMania opponent with it. He then faces the closet and begins to swing at it with the bat, over and over again, trying to destroy the stupid looking thing. Shards of wood fly everywhere, as Tyler Lawson slowly wares the wooden monstrosity away!

Cedar:
"Lawson is adamant of destroying that closet! Michaels has really crossed the line here..."

Dennis:
"BREAK DOWN THE WALLS OF CLOSETRY!!!!"

Cedar:
"Would you sit down?!"

Dennis:
"NO!"

Finally Lawson gets the killing shot in on the closet, as it comes tumbling down. Michaels looks on, half dazed and party hat still on his head, as Nova and JHalc hold him up - he can't believe what he's witnessing. Lawson kicks the very last piece of upright wood that's left, completing his task. He tosses the bat down to the mat and turns to his arch enemies again, with a grin on his face. Michaels begins to shake his head, in a drunk like state, as Tyler spots the XWA World Heavyweight Championship that Nova dropped earlier. He reaches down and picks it up, holding it out and looking upon it - could this be the very first World Championship he wins come XtremeMania 5? Michaels doesn't think so and is furious Lawson is holding his title. Lawson then raises it above his head, as his music begins to play.

Cedar:
"Will that be the outcome we get come the Tower of Doom at XtremeMania? David Michaels may not have been taking this man seriously his whole career, but he damn well better start doing so. Lawson wants the World Title and if you piss him off enough Michaels, he's going to get it!"

Dennis:
"I have never seen anything like this in my life!"

Cedar:
"Good night everybody. We'll see you next week..."

The show fades away, as Lawson climbs the top turnbuckle and celebrates with the fans in attendance. Michaels is demanding for his World Title back, as JHalc and Nova attempt to hold him back...

I

am going

to kill you.

also, that may have been the funniest thing I've ever read. ROFL!

Guest

Lawson finally came out of the closet literally!

Might want to edit it a bit thogh chilly as sometimes seemed some words were misplaced and had to guess what you meant.

"You're giving disclaimers now? Cedar, you've been here forever. This company has seen things that are WAY worse that what Michaels possibly has planned...such as Mack in action, for example!"

Poor Mack. Mad as hell

"Oh, and one more thing. You even THINK about putting your hands on this piece of sexy woman right here and I'll kick your teeth so far down your throat, you'll be able to eat the ass kicking I'll be giving you!"

Best line ever. Funny

"YARRRRRRRRR ME MATEYS! I BE THE BUTT PIRATE, TYLER LAWWWWWWWSON, AND I BE COMING FOR THAT WORLD TITLE AT PIRATEMANIA!"

"PIRATEMANIA"

ROFL!

She turns around and sees to where Michaels is pointing. Ted Cedar may be a wizard with the ladies, but his saucery...ha, saucery...doesn't work with this one. After just a glance and visions coming to her mind, Miss. Babylons races out of the ring and along the side of the ramp, out of sight.

Cedar:
"...so close."

ROFL!

I love how D-Volution are all about trying to insult Lawson and degrade him (with things like The Pirate or this whole segment) and Lawson's gimmick is that he no longer cares about mockeries or etc. It fits very perfectly. I read this entire thing and I enjoyed it, awesome work. good job

You had me cracking up in the library btw Funny

Yeah, I think I have to bring Pirate back(?) after that one. Funny

I'm glad you approve, Teej. I wanted to make sure Lawson got the upper hand at the end of it all, and looked pretty badass, so it didn't destroy your character xD

TeamJoker Posts : 1189 Join date : 2013-07-21 Age : 34

More unsanctioned JHalc Mad as hell

» ENDING PROMO: "Contract Signing of Doom" - Tyler Lawson and David Michaels Promo
» PROMO: "Welcome to D-Volution" | David Michaels and JHalc
» PROMO | David Michaels - "This is my show!"
» PROMO | David Michaels - "Welcome to the Jungle!"
» PROMO | David Michaels "A little tune up"

PROMO: "Tyler Lawson's Coming Out Party" | David Michaels Promo

PROMO: "Tyler Lawson's Coming Out Party" | David Michaels Promo

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