PROMO: "The Sexiest Champion To Ever Live" | David Michaels

Due: Saturday November 2nd, at 11:59 PM EST

Due: Saturday November 2nd, at 11:59 PM EST

The show comes back to a red hot crowd, after witnessing a great Ladder Match between Razor Xtreme and Dwight Lights. The night is about midway through it's activities and the XWA Universe is welcoming in a new era, as their home town hero won the XWA World Heavyweight Championship last night. It is only a matter of time before the roof explodes of this arena tonight! We are taken to ringside

Cedar:
"And welcome back ladies and gentlemen, where you join us on a red hot night. If you've missed it so far, you've missed some tremendous action so far and it's only set to get better with the former World Champion, Hitman Alex, going up against the new number one contender for the Intercontinental Title, JHalc followed by his new World Heavyweight Champion partner, David Michaels, going one on one for the first time against Dante Cross."

Dennis:
"Yes and hopefully The Legion will crush D-Volution once and for all! What happened last night was a tragedy!"

Cedar:
"Are you still harping on about that?"

Dennis:
"He won because his insane tag partner entered the damn match, illegally I might add, through a damn pre-made hatch and then smacked a damn hammer in the head of Hitman Alex! So yes, you're damn right I'm still "harping on" about it Cedar, you biased moron!"

Cedar:
"Actually, it was No Disqualifications, so the referee was powerless to DQ Michaels due to JHalc's interference..."

Dennis:
"Oh, so it's fine then? So much for your moral compass!"

Cedar:
"Would you give it a rest? He's the World Champion and you'll just have to learn to live with it, until XtremeMania at least..."

Dennis:
"Oh yes, because the option of Closet Gay winning is also a mouth watering prospect. It's all win win here at the moment! Yee-bloody-haw!"

Cedar:
"Stop it!"

Dennis:
"Bite me!"

The crowd then becomes unglued, as the male demographic drop all their beverages and snacks simultaneously, leaping to their feet - those opening guitar chords and images on the titantron mean only one thing...

Dennis:
"PUPPIES!"

The whole arena roars, Adam Dennis in particular, as "The Wildcat" Nova comes strutting out from behind the titantron's black curtain. The male's in the audience always love to see Nova, and more so tonight, as she is feeling rather "Southern", shall we say, tonight straying away from her usual black leather cat suits, but sporting very small cut short jeans and a cut off black David Michaels T-Shirt that is tied up at the front. Her legs are hidden behind sexy suede chaps, with tassels flowing freely from them at either outer side. Tonight, she is also wearing a lovely cream cowboy hat which is going down very well with the fans in attendance. She stands at the top of the ramp and waves at the enthusiastic crowd, before heading off down to the ring.

Cedar:
"Well Nova certainly wasn't scheduled to appear here tonight, but her presence is always a welcome one!"

Dennis:
"Of course it is! She is the only decent aspect of D-Volution...well, a pair of descent aspects anyway!"

Cedar:
"Stop it!"

Nova climbs up the ring steps and into the ring, as the camera flashes pulsate around the arena and refuse to slow down. She wanders across the ring, showing her stuff, before being handed a microphone through the ropes from Laura Watts. The Wildcat turns around on the spot and walks back into the centre, centring her legs in an authoritative manner. She looks out at the crowd once more, as her music dies away, raising the microphone slowly to under her mouth.

Cedar:
"Well, looks as though Nova has something to say."

Dennis:
"Can't we just stare at her for the rest of the night? Screw the rest of the card..."

Nova:
"Ladies and gentlemen, last night you all witnessed history in the making at King of Xtreme when six men walked into the Elimination Chamber hoping to walk out the World Heavyweight Champion. Well, only one man was able to do that and he is by far the sexiest man I know! Please, put your hands together for San Antonio's own...and the NEW XWA World Heavyweight Champion..."The Showstealer"....DAVIDDDDD MICHAELSSSSSS!!!"

Nova points to the giant Vendetta titantron as the arena erupts into cheers, while David Michaels' music screams through the PA system. The music can barely be heard, as The Showstealer's home town crowd as just overjoyed to finally be welcoming their hero into the arena.

Cedar:
"Would you listen to this ovation for the new World Heavyweight Champion!"

Dennis:
"This is pathetic! Shut up you inbreds!"

Nova continues to look on towards the entrance staging, still holding the microphone while clapping into her palm with the free hand. Almost forty seconds, give or take, passes by and the crowd begin to slowly quieten down with their cheers as David Michaels doesn't appear to be arriving. A smattering of boos even begins, as they want their hero! Those boos, however, soon turn back into cheers and almost high amounts of laughter, as David Michaels appears alright - appears stood up on the back of a quad bike which his D-Volution tag team partner, JHalc, is riding!

Cedar:
"HAHA! What on Earth?!"

Dennis:
"...are they for real?!"

Cedar:
"Looks like it may be a D-Volution party here tonight in San Antonio!"

Dennis:
"I bet they stole that like they did that truck last night!"

The camera flashes go wild, as JHalc stops the quad bike at the end of the entrance stage and begins to rev it up. Michaels is stood on the back, hair running wild, D-Volution shirt on, blue jeans, shades and the most important piece of the appearance - the XWA World Heavyweight Championship held high above his head with both hands! The crowd are loving it, as the fedora wearing, and rather crazy looking, JHalc revs the quad bike up once more before rushing off down the ramp. Somehow, Michaels manages to keep his balance and remains stood up at the back holding his title up. One camera shot it truly hilarious near the bottom of the ramp, capturing a cheesy grin on David's face as the pair whizz past the camera man. The pair ride round the ring, as Michaels holds to title out to his right and lets the fans in the front row all high five it. JHalc flies past the announce table, round to the other side, where the fans high five the title there too! Nova smiles in the ring, realising it is times like these that make her love riding with these guys again.

Cedar:
"Michaels and JHalc having some fun with the XWA Universe...I have never seen anything like this!"

Dennis:
"Are they speeding?! They must be speeding! Neither is wearing a seat belt either. Someone arrest them!"

Cedar:
"Stop it!"

Dennis:
"No!"

The pair then ride round to the bottom of the ramp again, rev the engine once more...and decide to go back round once more! Michaels decides to drop the title onto his right shoulder, before posing as the quad bike continues to make its way back round the ring. Michaels bends his right arm and then stretches out his left, pointing to the sky in a Bow and Arrow pose! JHalc eventually brings the quad bike to a rest in front of the announce table, where Michaels decides to stop posing and get off, climbing onto the announce table. Dennis and Cedar moves back a foot or two, as Michaels stands right in front of Adam Dennis, whom he holds a distinct hatred for, and swings the title between his legs almost smacking Dennis in the face with it! Michaels then yells out "SUCK IT!" to Dennis, before turning round and jumping down to the floor. Michaels and JHalc then climb into the ring, with Michaels plying up to the crowd more than usually has in recent months - it is his home town after all!

Cedar:
"I told you to quit slating him. Now he's making an ass outta' you!"

Dennis:
"Oh haha, I bet you liked that didn't you Cedar? He didn't take to kindly to you last week either, if you recall..."

Cedar:
"Yes, but he hates you...as does everyone else!"

Dennis:
"You're just jealous..."

JHalc wanders into the ring, Nova checking he isn't about to attack her with a hammer...yet...while Michaels bounces his rear off the middle rope and uses it as a springboard to twirl around in the ring, his arms out either side and the XWA World Heavyweight Title flying around in his right hand. The cheers just keep on coming, as Michaels drops down to one knee in the centre of the ring, holding the title up in his right hand while JHalc stands behind him raising his arms up into the air. Nova comes between the two of them and spreads herself over Michaels' shoulders, as red and silver fireworks blast off behind the trio. The crowd remains red hot, as all three stand back up straight and the music playing slowly fades away. Nova then hands her microphone to the visibly happy David Michaels, who twirls it in his hand as he adjusts the title on his shoulders again.

Cedar:
"I'm not sure this crowd will quieten down enough to let their home town hero speak!"

Dennis:
"Would you quit hyping this guy already?!"

Michaels:
"Well, well, well...looks like ol' Davey Boy struck gold last night!"

The crowd cheers, not really caring what he saying, but just cheering for the fact that he is saying something!

Michaels:
"And you all know The Showstealer likes to make an entrance, so what better way than riding on a quad bike that JHalc assures me he did not steal from a certain quad bike store down the road!"

Michaels turns and looks at his partner in a shifty manner, who merely turns his head away whistling...

Michaels:
"Quad bike theft not withstanding, in case anybody hasn't noticed, we're in Texas tonighttttt!"

Cheap pops. They never fail.

Michaels:
"So since I brought the gold back home to my lovely crotch area last night, D-Volution has decided that tonight...is party night because, as we all know...everything is bigger in Texas!"

Both Michaels and JHalc both comically turn to face Nova, specifically her chest reason, to which the two lovely mounds of fun time receiving a standing ovation. Nova just turns her head, in a sex way, and places her hands on her hips. Michaels soon snaps out of in self-induced trance and turns back to the hard camera, chuckling still.

Michaels:
"So tonight, once both JHalc and I are done kicking some Legion rear end, everybody is cordially invited to the official "D-Volution World Title Celebration Party That Has Cake And Women And Stuff"...I came up with the title myself. I thought it was catchy. Tonight, we're going to hit up D-Volution style and it starts when JHalc finishes off what I started last night in just a few moments. And then later tonight, ol' World Champeen over here puts on those tights once again...and kicks some Dante Crotch ass!

Michaels turns and pushes JHalc, the pair laughing at 'Dante Crotch'. In fact, it goes down so well with the fans, all twelve plus thousand in attendance begins chanting "DAN-TE CROTCH!" in unison. Only in Texas.

Michaels:
"But in all seriousness, I have a few things I have to address. First, a couple of weeks ago on Vendetta I came out here I told the World what was going to happen inside that Chamber come the Pay Per View. Every single word I said came true. Every guarantee I proclaimed came to light. And every prediction I boldly claimed slotted into place. Many people taken what I said a couple of weeks ago with a pinch a salt, it was just David Michaels rambling on the mic again. Well they were wrong. At King of Xtreme, I made every shut up, stand up and damn well take notice. I warned the World a D-Volution was coming...and it happened. I warned the World that a new Champion was on the horizon...and it happened. Last night I proved to the World that I am not pushover. I showed everybody in the company and watching at home that The Showstealer, David Michaels, should never be taken lightly. Last night I won the XWA World Heavyweight Champion for the second time, after over three years since my last reign. Some critics have been quick to compare that reign to this one, but rest assured, three plus years have made a World of difference. I am older. I am wiser. I am a Hall of Famer. So Hitman Alex, you put up a hell of a fight last night, but you came up short. Why? Because that's what people do when they face me - they come up short!"

JHalc nods and smiles, liking these words from his tag partner, while Nova does the same and applauds.

Michaels:
"You spent the month leading up to the chamber match proving to the World that you were a worthy champion and at the very first hurdle...you...failed! You failed because that is what your career has amounted to. Now I'm sure you'll be gunning for some sort of rematch down the line, but guess what bucko...you'll have to get at the back of the line because this is my time now and your reign of misery...is damn...sure...over!"

The crowd cheers and bursts into an "HBK! HBK! HBK!" chant, as Michaels wipes his chin with a serious expression across his face.

Michaels:
"And speaking of challengers, that brings me nicely to my first challenger. My first hurdle that I will NOT be failing at - 'The Instant Classic' Tyler...Lawson..."

Usually, Tyler Lawson's name receives louder cheers, growing every card, but this is Michaels country - tonight, Tyler Lawson is the enemy!

Michaels:
"Tyler. Lawson....Tyler Lawson. Tyler Lawson, the single biggest pain in my ass that has ever lived. No matter where I go, you follow. No matter what I do, you're there to try and ruin it. Not this time Lawson. This time there is a whole World of difference. You may have put on great performances each and every night to win the King of Xtreme tournament...but that was the King of Xtreme Tournament. I'm no Riley Daniels. I'm no Shade. And I'm damn sure no John Hudson. Hell, I am not even the David Michaels you have faced before. You the ability to defeat those three men...and my former self...but now you're going up against the new and devolved me, on the grandest stage of them all - XtremeMania. I am The Showstealer, Lawson. There is a reason I am labelled with that. It's not marketing tactic, it's the damn truth. While others come and go, makes bold claims about taking over this company, about being the best. While others talk their whole careers, I back everything I have up in this squared circle. At XtremeMania you are going against a main who has hated you for years. You are going up against a man that desperately what to inflict hell upon you. You are going up against a man that simply refuses to beaten...by you. Come the end of the Tower of Doom, you will have wished you had stayed retired all those months ago. From this moment forward, you have been put officially on notice. Your living hell has already begun."

Entranced, the crowd eventually realise to begin cheering as Michaels stops talking, before he raises the microphone up to his mouth once more.

Michaels:
"So, after I defeat Dante Crotch later tonight, Mr. Instant Classic...you have my undivided attention and in honour of said XtremeMania opponent...guys in the back...hit...my...musiccccccc!!!"

The crowd cheers once more, as David Michaels tosses the microphone over his head and his music begins playing once more. Nova and JHalc hold Michaels from behind, as he leans back into them, his head leaning back and his arms pushed out either side. A giant arrogant grin arrives across his face, knowing he has fired the first shots in what is bound to be a bitter battle for the next month up until XtremeMania.

Cedar:
"Strong and resounding words from the New XWA World Heavyweight Champion! He's wasting no time in trying to get the upper hand in a psychological war against Tyler Lawson."

Dennis:
"Thank God, he's finally done. All he ever does is talk, talk, talk. He should be advertising for a phone company or something..."

Cedar:
"Well ladies and gentlemen, as Michaels just alluded to, it was made official on XWA.com earlier today that David Michaels first title defence will be against Tyler Lawson inside the Tower of Doom in the main event of XtremeMania 5! Well be right back after this."

Dennis:
"GO AWAY!"

Dennis loudly reacts to David Michaels taunting him once more in front of the announce table, before he gets back on the quad bike. JHalc hops on once more, with Michaels stood at the back again and this time Nova sitting down in between them both curiously back to back with JHalc, facing the wrong way. JHalc revs the engine up once more and the trio shoot back off around the ring and up the ramp. Michaels is stood up on the back, his back to the camera and as they zoom off up the ramp with Michaels holding his title high above his head with both hands...Nova pulls down the top of his jeans and reveals a well looked after backside! The female fans go nuts, while everyone else bursts into laughter. XWA heads to commercial break, with a fading image of David Michaels' ass as our last shot...