Subject: P2.) James Best | "Told You So" Thu Apr 02, 2015 10:59 am
1 post by James Best
Caine Superkick Party
Posts : 1551 Join date : 2013-07-30 Age : 87 Location : Hii-Heee!!!
Subject: Re: P2.) James Best | "Told You So" Tue Apr 07, 2015 11:04 am
As “End Of The Story” by Downstait blasts through the PA, the Rhode Island fans both boo and cheer the man that will make his entrance within moments, holding up signs that range from “Number One Cuntender” to “STILL BETTER THAN RAZOR”. Blue flashes accompany the single spotlight which shines down on the stage and James Best steps out of the back, spinning around to show off his T-shirt, tight-fit around his physique. The self-professed "Best Seller" backs up with his arms out before turning back to the camera and marching down to the ring, spitting on the ramp as he does so. It was clear James was in a good mood, despite the bandages wrapped beneath his kneepad and a gauze taped across his forehead, battle scars from the absolutely brutal tables, ladders and chairs match the night beforehand at Redemption, yet James still has his smile… more of a smirk really. Reaching the foot of the ramp-way, James stops and gestures for a microphone.
James: First of all I’d like to congratulate the guys sitting backstage in the production truck! You’re god awful at your jobs, my music needs to be louder!!
On cue the volume turns up significantly, but James shakes his head.
James: I said LOUDER YA C*BLEEEP*TS!!!!
David Michaels: Uh oh, somebody get out the swear jar! There’s Ausss-tralians in here!
Ted Cedar: This is just disgraceful.
The jaws of good-paying parents with their children drop, even prompting one child in a David Michaels shirt to burst into tears, turning and snuggle his face into his mother’s bosom. Downstait cranks to the point of almost deafening, courtesy of the ‘guys in the production truck’ at James request.
James: Now for those of you who could afford the NINE NINETY NINE American dollars to watch Redemption last night, you’d know that I am the numberrr one contender baby… and it’s about god damn time I get some respect!
James tears the microphone away, his eyes lit with intense evil.
James: Of course every number one contender needs a champion! I honestly have no idea who won last night, be it the brown kid with the height-disadvantage, hell I don’t mind BMW’s myself…
Ted Cedar: Oh come on?!
Jaws drop instantly.
James: Aw Shut it ya slags! Nothing is really offensive anymore!
David Michaels: What an assh--
Ted Cedar: Whole lot of bad language, I’m not quite sure I agree with you there James, I think it’s very offensive!
Boos fill the arena, which makes James smile.
James: Or was it Minkaro? The bearded comedian… a true joke of a champion! Is he still the champion? He always was more of a standup than a standout, he has a ferret for a first name for f*BLEEEP*k’s sake!
You can faintly hear “IT’S A MINK YOU TWAT!” above the general noise, the crowds really not taking to James well at all.
David Michaels: Heh! You can catch all your favorite ferrets on the XWA network for just-
Ted Cedar: Stop it, David!
David Michaels: What? Your old buddy Joey can make ferret jokes but The Showstealer can’t?
Ted Cedar breathes a sigh from his nose, clearly annoyed.
James: Or was it Razor Xtreme?! The Algebra guy… what is it again, Rated Y2X? What kind of stupid name is that? Here I was thinking HHH619 was a terrible name but sweet baby Jesus that sucks!!
That snide remark actually sits well with the crowd. James Best breaks into a pace back and forth in the middle of the ring, making hand gestures in front of him with each word.
James: I honestly don’t care who the champion is, the guy sitting at the top of the food chain right now, because come United Xtreme, the Metrosexual Predator, James Best is gonna bite off the valuables and spit them right back down to the bottom, mate!!
James stops his pace, as a steady “SPIT OR SWALLOW!” chant breaks out.
James: Woah woah woah! Don’t put words in my mouth, put your watches, your chains, your grills, hell put the whole damn golden goose with a horrible schmelting accident down my throat because I have a taste for gold! I am hungry for the world heavyweight title and I just can’t WAIT to sink my fantastic set of teeth into it. Give it to me, GIVE IT ALL TO ME… RIGHT IN MY MOUTH!
James stretches his mouth wide open, dropping down to his knees and arching his body back, only to slowly revert upright with a maniacal chuckle.
James: You see unlike the champion, I haven’t bit off more than I can chew, in fact I have an appetite… and appetite for destruction.
A white-clad chef type steps out from the back, wheeling a table out laden with an elaborate platter cover, slowly moving down the ramp as James leers backwards and looks on in false surprise, mouthing “For me?! Wow!” as the table draws closer. The ‘chef’ calmly stops, gestures to the platter with a wave before pinching the platter tip and removing it in well-practiced fashion. James Best spins around rubbing his hands together only to stop and stare at the feast in front of him in sheer horror. James snatches the readily available fork from the table and holds it up feverishly.
James: WHAT? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! YOU STUPID MONKEY! THIS IS STERLING SILVER! I CANT EAT WITH THIS, THIS IS SECOND PLACE DAMN IT! GET OUT! GET OUT!!!
James kicks the table hard, so hard it almost tips over, James grabbing the table and finishing the job, tipping it over dramatically.
James: I AM NOT A RUNNER UP! I WILL NOT BE SECOND BEST!!
James leaps over the table as the chef bolts for dear life, James chasing the chef around the perimeter of the ring like a game of male-on-male catch and kiss. Realising this could go on forever, James takes a shortcut through the corner, sliding through to the other side perfectly before spinning on a dime and plowing the chef with a tremendous clothesline! The chef performs an exaggerated flip and crashes to the floor hard, and James snatches up his legs and twists the chef into his signature elevated sharpshooter/anklelock.
James: GET THAT CAMERA OVER HERE! GET HIS FACE! YOU SEE THAT CHAMP?! THIS IS YOU! THIS IS YOU MAKING ME A SANDWICH! I AM NOT SECOND BEST, I WILL NOT ACCEPT SILVER!! I WANT THE GOLD!!
*BOOOOOO!! SECOND BEST! SECOND BEST!! BOOOOOOOOOO!!!**
The chef screams in absolute horror as James Best swings him backward, making the already innovative submission more torturous.
James: I’M TIRED OF BEING HUNGRY! I’M ETHIOPIAN HUNGRY!! I’LL BITE YOUR F*BLEEEP*NG FACE OFF! I WANT GOOLDDD!!!
Security members come flooding out from the back as James Best savages the poor chef, Best throttling him from left to right in the submission he calls the Best Submission Ever and the security finally pry the chef away from James, who again latches onto the chefs leg, dragging him backwards into another serving of the modified sharpshooter, which requires much more force to separate the chef from this time and the security members take James to the back, Best grinning like a psychopath the entire time with his hands held behind his back, staring right at the camera as he approaches it with a snigger.
James: IT’S MY TIME! IT’S DINNER TIME AND THE CHAMP IS ON THE MENU BITCH!!!
James is carried to the back, leaving a traumatized crowd and an especially shocked commentary panel.
David Michaels: Well then!!
And the show goes on.
Sorry lads, internet was dead until an hour ago.
Mæstro TeamMoose
Posts : 1565 Join date : 2015-01-11 Age : 23 Location : Lebanon
Subject: Re: P2.) James Best | "Told You So" Tue Apr 07, 2015 11:10 am
Loved it. I am absolutely into James Best. The nine ninety nine and the David Michaels WWE Network joke is hilarious. Keep it up man, poor chef though.
Batman I am Batman
Posts : 19334 Join date : 2013-07-23 Age : 29 Location : Learning maturity
Subject: Re: P2.) James Best | "Told You So" Wed Apr 08, 2015 4:09 pm
This was great. Muchos props
Myke Main Eventer
Posts : 4547 Join date : 2013-08-18 Age : 31
Subject: Re: P2.) James Best | "Told You So" Wed Apr 08, 2015 4:14 pm
This was fantastic. Really well done. Looking forward to these continued promos.
Subject: P2.) James Best | "Told You So" 
