SHOW OPENER: "2 For 1 At Taco Bell" | David Michaels Promo

**Due: Sunday January 12th, at 11:59 PM EST** ____________________

Due: Sunday January 12th, at 11:59 PM EST

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SHOW OPENER: "2 For 1 At Taco Bell" | David Michaels Promo MJFR42R

It's Monday...sort of. Another week has past in the land of Xtreme and we are all set for another action packed edition of XWA Vendetta! Last week Adam Dennis met an unfortunate fate at the hands of D-Volution, when he was oh-so-gracefully released from his duties. But attention is now beginning to turn towards CyberSlam, where the World Heavyweight Championship shall be on the line and word on the street is David Michaels shall be addressing his Mexican opponent imminently. But before all that, a show can not start without it being introduced. With the crowd in Seattle, Washington kicking the proceedings off with a gigantic roar, we are welcomed to the show by XWA new, yet old, look announce team.

Cedar:
"Welcome back to Vendetta, ladies and gentlemen, where we've had another explosive night of XWA action already."

Miles:
"It won't be that bloody good, Cedar."

Cedar:
"We've been on the air less than a minute. Why are you being such a buzz kill?"

Miles:
"I'm just telling the God damn truth. You should try it once in a while..."

Cedar:
"I hate you."

Miles:
"OK, go back to lying."

Cedar:
"Well"

Miles:
""

As Cedar and Miles continue to get reacquainted with one another's...errrmmm...hatred...we cut to a pre-recorded video that happened earlier on in the week. We know this by the little graphics on the bottom left of the screen stating "This past Thursday". So far, the video package is only showing a black screen and we can hear some ruffling sounds. Two voices can be heard in the background, one male and the other female. From what we can tell, they appear to be struggling with something and it sounds as though they are in a confined space, like a car.

Female voice:
"Would you stop going so fast?! You need to be more gentle..."

Male voice:
"I'm impatient! I've been waiting to do this all week. I have needs, you know."

Female voice:
"...yes but you going that fast isn't helping anyone...did I say to take that out yet?!"

Male voice:
"Fine. I'll put it back in."

A lot of heavy breathing can be heard between the mystery pair and also a fair bit of bumping too.

Female voice:
"You have no idea what you are doing!"

Male voice:
"Honey, I am well versed in these sort of practises. I'm just not used to working under so much pressure and your watchful eye!"

Female voice:
"Well maybe if you had a little more respect..."

Male voice:
"Are you turned on yet?"

The dialogue seemingly makes everything a little more clearer. Maybe someone in the production truck pressed the wrong button? A few more clunks can be heard from whatever is recording this mystery event.

Male voice:
"Did you hear me? I said are you turned on yet dammit'?!"

Female voice:
"YES! Don't get narky with me or I'll break the damn thing in half..."

Male voice:
"Alright, alright. Just bring it up to my face will ya'?"

Female voice:
"Hold on, I'm trying..."

Male voice:
"Can you even see through that thing?!"

This is now starting to get pretty damn weird, but thankfully, it's all one big misunderstanding...

Female voice:
"Well it's just blank here, but it says it's recording."

Male voice:
"You've got the shutter on, honey."

Female voice:
"Oh I do? Silly me!"

Male voice:
"There we go!"

The crowd instantly bursts into cheers, as a terrible close up of the XWA World Heavyweight Champion David Michaels enters their view on the titantron. The whole time the tussle appears to have been about a handheld digital camera. No surprise, really, as technology has never been David's strong suit to say the least. The handheld camera slowly pans out and focuses on David's face better, confirming the suspicion that he was in a car. His pick up truck, to be exact.

Michaels:
"Is it definitely recording?"

Female voice:
"Well, I think so...I can see you on this flip out screen thingy now."

Michaels:
"That doesn't mean we're recording, honey. Here, give it to me."

Michaels reaches out and takes the camera from his mystery lady and flips it round. He points it down, towards his crotch unknowingly, clicking a few buttons before pulling it back up and revealing who is lady is. It's none other than his wife, Sugar!

Michaels:
"I think you had it recording already, baby."

Sugar:
"Oh good! I told you to just be patient."

Michaels:
"And you were right, as always. Lemme' see if this zoom feature works..."

The crowd gets to see Sugar's innocent face for the first time in nearly a year, as she was written of TV abruptly when David taken a break. Despite it not being acknowledged on TV since, the internet fans already know that the couple have been married since that time and Sugar merely wishes to not be on TV. Her pretty face just smiles at David, simply adoring every single movement he makes as he tries to figure this device out. After a few more clicking sounds, the sound of a camera zooming

Michaels:
"There we go! The zoom is up and running...ohhhh yeahhhhh!"

Sugar:
"Why are your smiling like that?"

Michaels:
"Oh, no reason..."

The fans in the arena begin to chuckle, as David zooms in and out on his wife's...chest region, which are looking very nice today, it should be added. Sugar eventually realises what he is doing and yanks the camera off of him.

Sugar:
"Gimmie' that! We're editing that bit out..."

Michaels:
"Can I at least save it for later?"

Sugar:
"...maybe. Look, lets get this over with alright? I don't like this area..."

Michaels:
"Alright, alright. Where's my hat?"

Sugar:
"On the back seat."

David reaches into the rear of the cabin and pulls out his black cowboy hat and shades, puts them on his head and the pair head out of the truck. They appear to be their home town of San Antonio, in some part of the city centre. As the pair stand outside, lots of traffic can be heard - the sounds of horns honking, cars and vans rushing past and the constant chit-chatter of the daily life from a busy city. It's also a tad windy, with the microphone on the camera picking up the gusty sounds.

Sugar:
"Hurry up. My hair is going to be ruined!"

Michaels:
"Alright. Come over here."

Sugar:
"OK."

The pair cross the road and stand under some shelter in front of several restaurants and tourist shops. Sugar positions herself in front of her partner, holding the camera up good enough to capture the entire upper half of his body. Michaels then begins to explain just what is going on...

Michaels:
"Ladies and gentlemen, boy and girls...this is your resident Heavyweight Champion of the World, The Showstealer David Michaels, coming to you from my home town of San Antonio, Texas! Isn't it wonderful?!"

Sugar:
"It's bloody cold..."

Michaels:
"This is the Mecca of America, where the American Dream is lived to it's fullest! San Antonio hosts such famous sporting teams such as the Knicks, Lakers, Manchester United and Golf....or so I'm told. But I digress. So see I'm here today to delve into the natural habitat of my opponent CyberSlam - Dominik Diveraz."

Sugar:
"Hurry up, I'm freezing!"

Michaels:
"Hold on, hold on! You see I don't know too much about Dominik, other than he's a Mexican midget. I haven't been given any more information about him and I can't be arsed watching any of his matches, so I thought this would be the best way to really understand this tiny chap. So I've come here, the natural feeding place of all Mexicans - Taco Bell!"

Sugar zooms the camera out and reveals Michaels to be stood at the entrance of a large Taco Bell fast food restaurant. Michaels holds his arms out like he's revealing a prize on a game show, before Sugar abruptly cuts the shot off as Michaels' hat blows off and he goes racing after it.

Cedar:
"This...will be interesting. XWA would like to apologise right now, ladies and gentlemen, if anyone finds the following offensive. We have no idea what is going to happen, but it's best to be safe..."

Miles:
"I bloody love Taco Bell!"

The camera is turned back on as Michaels is walking into the Taco Bell restaurant, hat and all, and heads towards the serving point. Before he does, he turns back to the camera and begins to talk once more.

Michaels:
"What you see here, ladies and gentlemen, is the prime meeting and feeding place of all Mexicans. When you step into a Taco Bell, you really feel the price of Mexico. You feel their heritage. You feel damn well hungry! So lets see what Dominik Diveraz likes to eat every week, shall we?"

Sugar nearly tumbles over with the camera, slipping on some dropped food on the floor. Health and Safety. Michaels, being the gentlemen, doesn't even remotely notice and walks up to the counter. The current XWA World Heavyweight Champion has a look around at the menu signs up and behind the counter, before starting to look confused. Davey Boy isn't too familiar with Mexican, or at least America's vision of, cuisine. The guy behind the till asks what he would like...

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"Good afternoon, sir, welcome to Taco Bell. What can I get for you today?"

Michaels:
"You ain't Mexican..."

Sugar:
"Oh Lord..."

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"Errmmm...no, sir. I'm an American."

Michaels:
"Why?!"

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"...because I was born here, sir."

Michaels:
"Why?"

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"I'm not sure what you mean..."

Michaels:
"Why is an American working in Taco Bell?"

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"Plenty do, sir."

Michaels:
"What?! I thought only Mexicans worked here?!"

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"Haha, no sir. Anybody can work at Taco Bell."

Michaels:
"Well that's nuts. So Taco Bell sold out, huh?"

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"No, sir. We have everything in stock for order."

Michaels:
"That's not what I meant...look, whatever. Just serve me something that highlights the passion of Mexico, even if it probably will be cooked by an American...he better not be Canadian!"

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"We have no Canadians working here sir."

Michaels:
"Well that's a plus...so, what ya' got?!"

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"Well, sir, we have Tacos, Burritos, Gorditas, Nachos, Chalupas...anything you'd like, sir!"

Michaels:
"...nachos...Oompa Lumpas...whaaaa?! The hell is this sorcery?!"

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"It's our menu, sir."

Michaels:
"...you people eat Oompa Lumpas?"

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"Chalupas, sir...."

Michaels:
"That's what I said...alright, just give me...eerrmmm...something. Here's ten dollars."

The man scratches his head and just takes the money, ordering Michaels a basic Taco meal, before placing his change on the counter. David turns around to his wife and pushes his index finger into the side of his head, implying this guy is a little out there. We see a shot of the Taco Bell worker looking at the back of Michaels while he's doing it and shakes his head, wandering off into the back. Michaels then walks up to the camera and begins to talk a little quieter.

Michaels:
"So far I've learned that Mexicans like to eat Doritos, no shock there, and also orange coloured midgets. Needless to say, I'm a little creped out and alarmed by this revelation. But in the interests of science, I shall continue and report again upon my findings."

Sugar:
"You have no clue about Mexico do you?"

Michaels:
"Of course I don't. That's why I'm here, honey. Frankly I thought everyone would be wearing a Sombrero, which is slightly disappointing."

Sugar:
"I have no words..."

Michaels:
"Shhh...our meal is nearly ready."

A heavy sigh can be heard from behind the camera, as Sugar wonders why she married this buffoon sometimes. Regardless, she sticks by her man and continues to record this documentation that will put foreign relations back about fifty years...

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"Here you go, sir. One fiery Doritos Taco."

Michaels looks down at the tray. He is confused as to what he's seeing...

Michaels:
"What in the name of all that's Mexican is that?!"

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"That's a taco, sir."

Michaels:
"Oh right, my apologies. I didn't know Mexicans ate dog crap wrapped in a pancake, with a salad garnish. My mistake."

Cedar:
"I think it's plain for everyone to see that David Michaels hasn't eaten very much Mexican food..."

Miles:
"Indeed, however dog crap wrapped in a pancake does sounds pretty damn delicious, Cedar."

Cedar:
"Each to their own."

Miles:
"Damn right. You ain't sharing mine when I buy one, tubby."

Michaels picks the taco up and inspects it. The dog crap filling, also known as beef to the rest of society, slowly slops out onto the tray. His eyes slowly rise to met the man who served him. The Showstealer is not amused...

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"Is there a problem, sir?"

Michaels:
"No, not really...other than I don't usually eat dog crap this time of the day. Other than that, I'm good."

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"If the meal is not up to your satisfaction, I can always offer you something else, sir. As I said, we have a large menu and can serve you whatever you wish."

Michaels:
"Alright then, now we're talking...I'll take a king size bucket, extra fries, four gravies, sweet corn and a diet Pepsi. Gotta' watch the weight, ya' know?"

Michaels turns to the camera and pats his stomach, implying that a diet Pepsi will counter balance about fifteen pieces of fried chicken...

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"Errmmm...sir. We don't sell fried chicken. You'll have to go to KFC down the road. There is one just of--"

Michaels:
"WHAT?!"

Michaels screams at the top of his lungs and thumps the counter, simply mortified by this news.

Michaels:
"YOU DON'T SELL FRIED CHICKEN?!"

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"No, sir, we don't."

Michaels:
"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I CAN'T PURCHASE FIFTEEN PIECES OF THE COLONEL'S FINIEST HERE?! WHAT KIND OF PLACE ARE YOU RUNNING?!"

Taco Bell Type Dude:
"...not a fried chicken place, sir."

Michaels:
"...are you threatening me?!"

Michaels starts to get comically aggressive, which prompts Sugar to reach her arm out and pull him back a tad. Sugar accepts the taco and convinces her husband to sit down. The Taco Bell employee looks at Michaels considering in his mind as to whether he should call the police...or a therapist. Sugar apologises to the man and takes the tray with the taco on, following David to a table. As she struggles to balance the tray with the camera, the camera moves to her right in her hand. As it does, we quickly capture a brightly coloured man, dressed in yellow and pink, sat in the corner tucking into the largest bowl of nachos you have ever seen in your life. His hat is stupidly large and is accompanied by the most outrageous pair of sunglasses known to man. As the camera is about to be regripped in Sugar's hand, all we hear is...

Nacho Obsessed Individual That Many People Know:
"OHHHHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHH! THESE NACHOS ARE WILD! DIG IT!!!!!!!!"

An eruption of cheers can be heard in the background from inside the arena, as a certain bubbly favourite appears on our television screen once more. A small chant from a select group of internet fans begins to circulate reminding us of this man's name. In the meantime, Sugar sits down opposite David as he is still furious Taco Bell doesn't sell fried chicken.

Michaels:
"Can you believe the audacity of that man?! What kind of place doesn't sell fried chicken?!"

Sugar:
"It's a Mexican fast food joint, David. What on Earth were you expecting?"

Michaels:
"Some respect for the colonel, that's what!"

Sugar:
"Honey, not everywhere fried chicken."

Michaels:
"Well they should..."

Sugar:
"well they don't. Do get over it and stop acting like an idiot. You're embarrassing me..."

Michaels:
"Oh but come on! I mean, looks at this crap? I wouldn't feed this to our dog...or even JHalc..."

Sugar:
"I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear that."

Michaels:
"I'm a caring guy, you know that. Seriously, it looks like I wiped by rear end with a piece of bread and then shoved salad on top of it. Who the hell eats this crap?! No wonder Dominik is tiny..."

Sugar:
"Remind me to never come here again with you..."

Michaels:
"I wonder if they sell McFlurrys?"

Sugar:
"We're leaving."

Sugar then, becoming rather impatient and not wanting David to then start going up to the counter wondering why Taco Bell doesn't sell any of the McDonald's menu either, jumps up and pulls him with her. Sugar virtually drags her idiot of a husband out of the restaurant, but Michaels still manages to get a last few 'pleasantries' in before he leaves, shouting at the top of his lungs...

Michaels:
"THANK YOU VATO LOCO! THOUGH YOUR CRAP INJECTED TACO WAS NOT TO MY LIKING, I HAD A PLEASANT EXPERIENCE ESE! HASHTAG FRIED CHICKEN!"

Sugar:
"Would you shut the hell up?! Come on!"

Sugar literally drags him out of the restaurant before he offends any more people. Michaels can't understand what he did wrong, as the two head back to the truck. For whatever reason, Sugar is still recording David...

Michaels:
"What the hell was that for?!"

Sugar:
"You need to stop making an ass out of us like that!"

Michaels:
"It was in the interests of science. I wanted to understand Dominik's culture since I will be facing him soon..."

Sugar:
"Yeah, you did a great job of that didn't you?! Making a fool out of us both..."

Michaels:
"The correct term is hello, it's not my faults Mexicans don't know what fried chicken is. If they want to eat from a poop scoop, that's fine for them, but I'm gonna' continue eating the food of the Gods."

Sugar:
"Just get in the truck. I can't believe you're getting paid to do this crap...and the fact it's going to air on Worldwide TV either!"

Michaels:
"Alright, alright...gimmie' the camera."

Sugar can be heard huffing and passes Michaels the camera, who starts fiddling around with it clearly attempting to turn it off. Sugar slams the door of the pick up and sits inside, really upset that David decided to do all this. Despite being somewhat of an idiot, David recognises his wife's emotions and immediately reacts, placing the camera down on the roof of the truck before looking through the window in the door. He sees her upset and climbs in, wanting to calm her down. The audio can still be heard, but is a little quieter as Michaels lowers his window after starting the engine. He's forgotten where he left he camera...

Michaels:
"What's the matter?"

Sugar:
"...wh...wh...why did you include me in this? I feel such an idiot having to go in there and do that."

Michaels:
"It was just for TV, honey. It meant nothing. Just mind games, is all. Don't worry about it."

Sugar:
"But all those people...did you see the way they were looking at you? I don't want them doing that..."

Michaels:
"Oh I don't care about them. I'm sure they've already forgotten about me while they eat their pancake crap things...look, come on. I'm sorry. How about I take you shopping, yeah?"

Sugar:
"...alright. I'd like that."

Michaels:
"I'll get you that necklace you wanted!"

Sugar:
"Really?! Thank you!"

Michaels:
"No problem. Lets go."

Sugar:
"Wait...where did you put the camera?"

Michaels:
"Oh, it's OK. It's on the roo---SHHHHHHIIIIIIIIII...."

As those words are spoken, Michaels presses down on the accelerator and the camera begins to bounce off the roof and bounces onto the floor below. The video package instantly cuts off with Michaels perfectly descriptive word for probably this whole segment, though Cedar and Miles found it highly amusing.

Cedar:
"You know Joey, I know you're not really familiar with D-Volution just yet, but each and every week at least one of these guys never ceases to amaze me. Have you either, in all the years of broadcasting, seen anything quite like that?"

Miles:
"No...no I haven't. I mean, which genius man invented a dog crap taco?! He needs my money."

Cedar:
"Urghhh...I don't know who is worse, you or them!"

Before Miles can respond, the whole arena explodes into cheers as David Michaels' theme music blasts through the PA system.

Cedar:
"Would you listen to this ovation! It looks like we're going to be graced with the World Heavyweight Champion's presence live and person, Joey!"

Miles:
"He better have brought me one of those tacos..."

Michaels bursts through the curtain with his hands stretched out either side, with his two Championships wrapped around his waist with pride. Michaels is dressed to compete, with his sparkly entrance gear taking full attention from the viewing audience. He has a mic in his hand and after twirling around a few times, he comes to a halt at the end of the entrance stage, His music dies away and he begins to voice his thoughts.

Michaels:
"What you all seen there, was Oscar nominee material people. This country should be thanking me for putting together such an informative documentary about the life of the Mexican. Thanks to me, Dominik Diveraz can feel right at home now in the XWA knowing that there are no prejudices towards him."

Cedar:
"Well his heart was in the right place at least..."

Miles:
"...it was at KFC?"

Cedar:
"Exactly."

Michaels twirls the mic around in his hand, smiling at the crowd as a Taco Bell chant actually starts up. A cheeky grin as he looks to the floor gives everything away, with David knowing exactly what he's doing. His expression then slowly turns a serious one, which isn't usually a good sign for anybody...

Michaels:
"Listen up, vato! You can come here and start talking trash all you want, about how you’re going to take my World Title from me at the Pay Per View and how you'll be the 'real' World Champion. You can come out here and start telling me what match you want us to face in and how you defeated someone in that match type to win your first World Title. Lets get one thing crystal clear - I ain't no Mikey Heartbreak. I'm the Heartbreak Kid. I'm The Showstealer. I'm the guy that's calling the shots around here and I'm the guy these people pay to see! So I ain't interested in being the Last Man Standing at CyberSlam. I ain't interested in making you say I Quit. I'm only interesting in competing in my natural habitat. Just like you can sit at Taco Bell each and every day, I like to be flying though the air. Roughly about over ten feet in the air, to be precise. If these people have any sense, come CyberSlam, they'll vote to see ol' Davey Boy leaping...well...let me give you some imagery to help you out."

Michaels then wanders back behind the curtain and takes a few moments, before dragging out a giant ladder onto the stage. The crowd immediately pops for this action, as the XWA World Heavyweight Champion begins to set it up in the middle of the stage, before climbing up and sitting on the very top.

Michaels:
"That's right. You. Me. CyberSlam. World Title. Ladder Match! But in case you didn't understand that, I'll put it in Mexican for you - El vato loco Dominik, taco fight me, World Champion David Michaels, el Ladder Match. Viva La Raza!"

Even if Dominik doesn't understand that loose translation, the crowd in the arena did and they are popping pretty hard for the World Champion's choice of a Ladder match for CyberSlam!

Cedar:
"Oh my! Can you imagine, the World Title handing twenty feet in the air in a Ladder match?!"

Miles:
"Ladder's practically run through this guy's veins, Cedar. It's right up his alley!"

Cedar:
"Slightly horrific imagery, but I get your point!"

Michaels:
"And if you're not down with that...well...you know what to do..."

Crowd:
"SUCK IT!"

Michaels tosses the mic down to the floor and slowly rises himself up on one side of the ladder, facing the large crowd. He pulls the World Heavyweight Title from around his waist, leaving the Tag Title there, and raises it high above his head with both hands.

Cedar:
"Well ladies and gentlemen, the World Heavyweight Champion has it perfectly clear what type of match he wants at CyberSlam against Dominik Diveraz and it looks at though the crowd here in Seattle are feeling the same way!"

Miles:
"Cedar, if a ladder match is voted in, instead of the XWA World Title hanging high above the ring...it's should be a taco!"

Cedar:
".....and on that note, we'll be right back after this commercial break."

Miles:
"I am a freakin' genius!"

The show fades away to commercial, the first of which is for Taco Bell of all things, with the lasting image of David Michaels holding up his XWA World Heavyweight Championship for all to see.

I came in here expecting epicness. I was not disappointed. This was awesome, I enjoyed reading every single bit of it. Awesome work! clap

____________________

.

Favorite Current Wrestlers:
1. Sasha Banks
2. Becky Lynch
3.
4.
5.

Favorite All-Time Wrestlers:
Your dad

Thanks man. Appreciate you taking the time to read my work. Only wish I could do the same for your's.

don't worry about that.

____________________

.

Favorite Current Wrestlers:
1. Sasha Banks
2. Becky Lynch
3.
4.
5.

Favorite All-Time Wrestlers:
Your dad

Guest

I loved how DM was expected chicken and was so upset. Also, cant wait for the eventual Dvolution hatred between you and Jay when it happens, especially when you compare him to your dog in terms of what you wouldnt even feed em

That's just how they talk to each other.

____________________

.

Favorite Current Wrestlers:
1. Sasha Banks
2. Becky Lynch
3.
4.
5.

Favorite All-Time Wrestlers:
Your dad

The amount of racism in this was amazing.

Loved it. Loved everything about it.

____________________

I've slowly figured racism brings this site together... xD

And nah, Jay and I are in this team for the long run. No cliché team split is ever planned. Our characters just talk to one another like that.

Glad I entertained you guys good job

Guest

That was gorgeous. Loved it very much.

» PROMO | David Michaels - "Welcome to the Jungle!"
» PROMO: "Tyler Lawson's Coming Out Party" | David Michaels Promo
» ENDING PROMO: "Contract Signing of Doom" - Tyler Lawson and David Michaels Promo
» David Michaels Promo
» PROMO | David Michaels "A little tune up"

SHOW OPENER: "2 For 1 At Taco Bell" | David Michaels Promo

SHOW OPENER: "2 For 1 At Taco Bell" | David Michaels Promo

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