The Iowa crowd had been chanting "USA" all night long, but never so much as now. The source of their overflowing patriotism comes from an unlikely place... Polly Pocket. She may be  billed from "The Fairy Forest, East of the River Bliss", but her attire this night, if one can call it clothing, has gotten the nation in a uproar of excitement. Body paint! Polly is wearing a red, white, and blue American flag themed body paint bikini. The only clothing on her is her white wrestling boots. Effy huffs angrily in her corner while Dr. Stone tries to calm her down with breathing exercises. The Princess of Rave had been outdone. She had worn the blue and white glittery outfit that Polly usually wears, and even wore a Skye Sapphire mask over her face (an improvement some would say), in hopes of playing some mind games with the two divas. That advantage was lost now. Polly isn't adorned in her usual get-up and Skye is too level headed to fall into Effy's mental quagmire. Skye is clad in her usual gear, but as always is sexy as hell. Sapphire remains poised and comes out of her corner to get the action under way.

Ted Cedar: "GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!"

Joey Miles: "And body paint! Please God let this match last a really long time and all of them get sweaty. Please let that paint be the cheap kind that runs off easily! Polly's body paint will come right off then, wouldn't it?"

Ted Cedar: "It sure will and I am right on board with you! Let this be the longest and most hard fought divas match in history.

The loony tune, the fairy, and the Sapphire descend upon one another. A three way Collar and Elbow tie up ensues and immediately Polly Pocket, the smallest of them, is pushed aside and discarded like the runt of a litter when the other kittens battle for suckle of the teet. She goes into a back roll and lands on her knees, and from there she watches her opponents twirling around and around in a stale mate that ends against the buckles on the hard camera side of the ring. Jack Hammer steps between Effy and Skye, breaking them apart. Suddenly the Mental Case is swept away from view, pulled down and pinned in a school girl type predicament by the Fightin' Fairy. Jack doesn't get a chance to drop the hammer down for the first count, Skye diving and breaking the fall with a Double Axehandle.

Ted Cedar: "I'm not sure what Polly was thinking there. That was ill advised given the fact it's a Triple Threat match. Chalk it up as a rookie mistake and a lesson learned, hopefully."

Joey Miles: "Nah fuck that, chalk it up to her being blonde. We all know blondes are dumb as shit. But I forgive her because of the BODY PAINT BIKINI!!!"

Ted Cedar: "Okay we get it. We know what she is wearing, or not wearing, and we love it but we have a job to do."

Joey Miles: "You can do your job all you want, I am gonna sit here and fap myself to death."

Beauty Personified doesn't mince at all with the shenanigan pulling rookie and lays into her with aggressive Forearm shots as she pulls her up. The swiftness of Sapphire's attack reels Polly on her heels, making her unable to furnish a reply. In the middle of the barrage Danny's girlfriend is ripped to the mat by the hair from behind. Effy, seeking to reassert herself, passes over Skye's fallen form, tackling Pocket down with a Lou Thesz Press. A classic catfight is born from the entanglement of hair and limbs, both divas wallowing around on the mat, claws extended and going at it. The referee gets tripped up in the melee, by accident or on purpose we will never know, and becomes pinned underneath the warring women, making the men in the audience envious of him. Skye has had enough of the nonsense and speeds toward them as they tussle near the ropes. She slides into them feet first, legs spread a little bit apart. The pair take a hit to the ribs each and crash to the outside, where they somehow become tangled again and recommit to their epic catfight.

Joey Miles: "I've always wanted to do this... *changes voice to one remarkably similar to another commentator of almost the same name*... CATFIIIIIIGHT!"

Ted Cedar: "They've got their claws in pretty deep too. I don't know if there's any bad blood between these two, but it seems like it."

Effy and Polly never stray from one another after they make it to their vertical bases. Fists are flown, only half landing. Inside the confines of the ring Sapphire furls her fingers around the top rope and squats low, intent on putting an end to the unladylike brawl going on beneath her. She lifts into the air and throws herself over the very rope her hands cling on to and lands with her body across theirs, imploding the ladies on the spot. Danny's girl finds her footing first with neither of her opponents close on her trail. She singles out Polly first, picking her up and Irish whipping her hard into the crowd barrier, which allows some of the male fans the rare chance of making physical contact with a super sexy woman. With Polly out of the picture for awhile, she sets her intentions on the Princess of Rave, hoping to get some retribution for the hair pull slam a little while ago and for making a mockery out of her with that mask. Skye reaches down and rips the mask off. Out of the corner of her eye she sees the Mental Case's therapist, Dr. Stone, approaching and turns toward him, tossing the mask into his fumbling hands. She also gives him a stern finger point, warning him of the dangers he will wade into if he interferes.

As he backs off, Sapphire rolls Effy into the ring and travels in behind her. The pale lunatic gets mashed down with a series of stomps before being pulled back up and steered toward the closest corner. Skye pounds the crazy girl's face into the covered cup-link repeatedly in a sedulous attempt to drive out any voices in her head. Maybe sense could even be knocked into her as well? The fans start counting along mid way through the summation of smashes, getting all the way to "9" before Sapphire suddenly pulls Effy away and runs with her in tow across the ring to the opposite corner, where she gives her the tenth smash with authority. The Mental Case muddles out of the corner punch drunk with her dukes up like a boxer who doesn't know when to go down. Danny's jewel runs the ropes in front of the stumbling loose marbled lady and whizzes herself into the air as though to dropkick her. What comes of it isn't a dropkick, it's a Busaiku Knee Kick that slips between Effy's lifted fists and lands with a audible "pop" against her jaw. The Princess of Rave drops like a sack of potatoes and seems out of it enough for a possible finish, so Sky shoots the half.

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Kick out.

Ted Cedar: "Skye has done a good job of divide-and-conquer. She took out Polly and almost came away with the win just now after that nasty Busaiku Knee Kick to Effy."

Joey Miles: "Almost, shmalmost. That doesn't mean jack diddly shit, Cedar. All that matters is three mat slaps."

Skye gives Jack an interrogative look as she brings the girl up to her vertical base. Through her dazed state and hurting head, Effy can ascertain she is in deep shit. She lashes out at Sapphire with great discord, swamping her attacker with body shots that weaken her grip. As soon as the comeback starts, it ends with an abrupt knee to the belly. Effy doubles over sucking for wind as the Englishwoman bows and picks her up for an Atomic Drop. Out of nowhere the Pale Weirdo is ripped out of Skye's clutches by a Flying Fairy Fury Punch (flying Roman Reigns Superman Punch) from the soaring frame of Polly Pocket, who had recovered much quicker than Sapphire anticipated. Polly lands on her feet and has that rookie vigor about her. She beckons Skye to 'bring it on'. Danny's better half spots Effy disappearing from the edge of the ring to the outside, clearly hurt from Pocket's brazen attack, and turns her attention back to the motivated greenhorn. The challenge is accepted. Like so many overeager rookies do, Mighty Mouse recklessly pedals toward Skye. The very epitome of beauty Japanese Armdrags her up and over like it's nothing. Displaced but undaunted, Sparkaroo gets up and makes another foolhardy run at her, receiving a Powerslam for her nervy go-get-em attitude. The impact is pretty stiff, prompting Skye to hook the leg for a pin.

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Not gonna happen. Polly is too resilient. Skye switches over to some ground and pound so she can dishearten the body painted diva. Mousey Bear gets enough of her forearms up to shield herself from too much damage, forcing the Englishwoman to do away with her plan and stand up. The woman from Newcastle brings the rookie vertical and nearly floors her with a spinning Knife Edge Chop that sends a loud "smack" across the building and the "woooos" come home to roost. Unable to stand against the power of Skye Sapphire, Polly takes a knee with her arms in a x formation over her chest. This only makes matters worse. Danny's girlfriend purchases the ropes for some speed and dashes back at Pocket. When near her, Skye uses Polly's upturned knee as a stepping stone to bring her other foot crashing against the side of her face. The blow is as vicious as Skye is sexy. Tinkerbell's head snaps, akin to car crash whiplash, and her body sinks to the canvas in slow motion.

Ted Cedar: "Facial! Damn it! I don't think we're gonna get our wish for a prolonged battle so the body paint can come off, Joey."

Joey Miles: "Effy you better get your ass in there and save this match."

Effy must have heard Joey, because just as the pin is made and the ref's hand is on its way down for the final time, Skye's foot is grabbed and she's yanked off of Polly. Sapphire screams and digs her fingers into the mat as she continues to be pulled all the way to the outskirts of the ring. What she finds on the other end is the Mental Case, who overwhelms her with a curtain of fists, knees, and kicks that come in fast and wild. Danny's love doesn't get a chance to blink, let alone breathe during the beat-down, and succumbs lickety-split to a series of face smashes on the outer edge of the squared circle. The ghost white Crazy Chick nestles her hands in Skye's pretty hair and rubs her face into the edge of the ring, giving her come serious mat burn, before pulling her away. Effy stands side by side with her and faces in the same direction, then reaches behind Sapphire's back to hook her opponent's head, with the other hand extending the Englishwoman's nearest arm she hooks her leg and falls backward. The leg-sweep, delivered with Russian influence, does enough damage to leave the pride and joy of Newcastle lying down. She turns on her heels and pays notice to Polly inside the ring and pounds a fist into her open palm, muttering "fairy bashing time". She knees onto the apron and looks over her shoulder at the woman she is leaving behind, finding her on her hands and knees. Polly pummeling time with have to be postponed for a moment. She turns back around to face Skye, and gets a nod of approval from her shrink at ringside. Before she can put her scheme into play, Pocket bounces back to life and blasts her off the apron with a Triangle Dropkick. There's no wasted movement from Polly; in a single bound she propels herself up and over to the outside, Corkscrew Moonsaulting her painted body amid her plunge. The bodies of her opponents lie crumpled under her after the dust settles.

Getting to her vertical base, Polly is treated to a nice pop, and she gives a curtsy bow. Ted and Joey applaud too, not only had Mousey Bear thrilled everyone with the maneuver, but she has also started to sweat. The body paint around her boobs is starting to vanish. Polly plays to the fans or "bedazzlers" as she has dubbed them and draws back a warning fist toward Dr. Stone. He throws his hands up to indicate he isn't hostile and retreats. Little Blue turns back around and picks up Effy. She lines up a good European Uppercut that rattles her teeth and stumbles her backward into Sapphire's knelt body. Skye shoves her away, right back toward Polly, who blasts the Crazy Chick with a fast forearm. Once again Effy reels back into Skye, and like before gets returned to sender. It doesn't take long before Effy is unwillingly playing monkey in the middle, with Effy being the monkey. Back and forth she goes, getting rocked with shot after shot from her opponents. Skye and Polly hear the alarming count of "9" being yelled by the ring official and do a quick roll in-roll out at the same time. The count is restarted and the Mental Case remains floundering in place. Thinking with one mind between them, Sapphire and Pocket send a side kick each toward the chalk skinned lady's head from opposing sides. Somehow Effy dances out of the way, figuratively speaking. The feet smack against each other and cause their owners to hobble next to one another. Effy might be a little "out there" but she knows how to seize what is gifted to her. While Skye and Polly stand side by side facing her, Effy jumps up and wraps a hand and arm around each of their heads. While still in the air, she brings both knees up, splitting them apart so that one is covering each divas chest as she gravity pulls them to the ground. The knees jar them pretty violently when she lands. Air is flushed out of their lungs, leaving them hurt and gasping.

Ted Cedar: "I was absolutely certain Effy was about to get permanently dispatched from this match, but she pulled a Double Chest Cracker out of her ass. It's her world now."

Joey Miles: "Work Polly over, Effy. Get her. Make her sweat; make her work for it!"

The 5'8" 136 pound powerhouse drags Tinkerbell back into the ring with her, rough housing her around in transit to her feet. Polly throws some pitiful punches to try to get away, but it only enlarges Effy's appetite for destruction. The Princess of rave motions to her own cheek, reminding Pocket of the Fairy Fury Punch she gave her earlier. Paybacks are a bitch just like Effy is. She gives Sparkaroo a quick headbutt then spins her around so that her back is to her. The much bigger diva places the 5'1" 110 pound Dynamo in a Full Nelson and begins rag dolling her left and right. Polly screams louder with each forceful swing. There's murmurs in the crowd, many feeling this will be the end of the contest. Effy continues to shake her back and forth viciously, portraying this to be what would happen if a bear mauled a small rabbit. Pocket's cries fade in volume but she doesn't yield in submission. Instead of waiting it out and letting the referee lift the limp arm up three times, the Princess of Rave leaps into the air with her toy still wrapped with her and comes back down to the mat in a seated position, Polly landing the same way but getting more brunt of punishment out of it. The Pale Weirdo shoves Pixie away and stands up.

Effy hasn't forgotten about Skye Sapphire, the very woman that she sees trying to the reenter the ring through the top two ropes. The South Aussie bolts at her and dots her face with a knee lift, knocking her half in and half out of the ring. The dazed MILF is yanked into the ring and guided over to Polly's wrecked body, which is laying there face up. The powerhouse High Angle Scoop Slams her on top of Polly then moves to their feet. Then She bends low and takes the women by the legs at either side, and lifts up while starting into a spin. The fans like it and cheer for the display of strength as Effy's Swing Swing (giant swing) gains in speed and number of rotations. As they keep going, Effy tilts her head back and starts laughing manically. The spectators get in on the festivity and strum up a long "oooooooooo" before giving out a good pop when the Greatest Diva Who Ever Lived finally releases the pretty pair. Their bodies travel far and take to a tumble almost out of the ring. The Pasty Maniac had overindulged in it, though, and can barely stand. Her mind swirls and one foot betrays the other, then she goes about walking like a drunken Sailor trying to make his way back to the ship.

Ted Cedar: "What an outstanding show of strength by Effy. I think this Dr. Stone guy may have gotten through to her. She hasn't went completely nuts this match, except maybe a little bit just then. The only problem is she may have done herself a disservice. She can barely put one foot in front of the other, and she needs to strike now while the iron is hot."

Joey Miles: "LOOK, Polly's paint is gone from her left tit. Holy shit! Yes! Fucking yes! Get a camera on that right now!"

Joey had embellished a little bit. Not all of the body paint is gone from there, but enough of it is to call for the production team's expertise. Sadly, for those at home, the dreaded black censor circle appears over Polly's chest. Effy labors a little while longer than she'd hoped to, but manages to get her dome piece under control in time to snatch up Polly Pocket. She lifts the girl over her shoulders in preparation for The Party's Over, but Sapphire saves the day with a hard kick to Effy's gut. Pocket escapes and falls near the ropes while the Englishwoman loops her arm around the Crazy Chick's head and jumps into the air. She comes down hard with Effy's head, spiking it like a football into the canvas with the Beauty Mark. Danny's lady pulls Effy to the nearest corner and positions her a few feet from it, on her back. Asses belonging to fans remove themselves from seats, they know what is coming up. Skye gets on the top turnbuckle, with her back toward the ring, and pushes herself high through the air into a back flip with two rotations, before landing stomach to stomach on the lady from loony lane.

Dishing out such a move always takes a toll on the giver. This time the momentum after landing sends Skye rolling and clutching her stomach. She musters up, stands, and shakes it off, prepared to make the cover and head to the back. What she didn't factor in is Polly Pocket, who abruptly comes into her field of view, having used the top rope as a springboard. Pocket shifts her body into a 720 degree rotation through the air before apprehending Sapphire's head with her arm and driving it ridiculously hard into the mat.

Ted Cedar: "There it is! Uncomfortably Numb DDT! The same move she defeated Nicole Johnson with two weeks ago!"  

Joey Miles: "It can't end now, she still has some body paint on!"

The scrappy rookie makes the cover, hooks both legs, and digs in as the ref slides into place.

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DING DING DING

"Pocket Full of Sunshine" plays and Polly rolls out of the ring as Laura Watts' voice overtakes all.

Laura Watts: "Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner of the match - - - POLLY POCKET!"

The fairy princess makes her way up the ramp seemingly unaware she has become partially nude at this point, and celebrates with the "bedazzlers" in attendance. At the top of the ramp, she does a curtsy bow and gives another USA salute before disappearing backstage.

Won't be able to post this card. Sorry, been a bit busy with school this week and I don't want to post a half-assed match. Will be sure to post next card though.