(I had a very had time getting motivated to write against yet another big guy character, so I apologizw for the length and shittiness of this.)

As the bell sounds, both men lock up and get things started.  Diamond grabs a headlock, but is pushed into the ropes and catches an elbow from Cletus as he comes back.  The pine island powerhouse puts the boots to his smaller opponent as he struggles to his feet, before firing him into the far ropes and back-dropping him to the mat.  The Prized Gem grasps the ropes in order to get his feet under him, but turns directly into the path of a charging woodsman, who cactus clotheslines himself and his opponent to the outside.  Another Irish whip sends Diamond’s back collide with the retaining wall, though a number of hands seek to cradle his sagging form.  Cletus sets to work stripping the concrete floor of its protective covering, but when the mats separate him from his foe, and obscure his gaze, Diamond fires a dropkick that flattens the whistle punk.
 
Serves him right, Joe, this isn’t a hardcore match up.  Cletus gets himself in trouble every time he lets himself get carried away.
 
He’s a scary sonofabitch, let me tell ya, but not always the brightest.
 
The risk taker sends all of his 213 pounds crashing into Cletus as he performs a series of merciless jumping double stomps on his prone form.  He then hops nimbly onto the apron, scales the turnbuckle and hits a crossbody on the rising logger.  He grasps the sides of Cletus’s head, ignoring the greasy feel of bear grease, and slams his head against the cement before sending him back inside.  Up to the tope again, the twenty-seven year old lands a flying axe handle.  Getting his opponent to his feet, he goes for the whip, sees it reversed, catches a feral kick and casts it aside, ducks a wild roundhouse and replies with a few choice strikes of his own, concluding with a clothesline that gets the crowd on its feet. 
 
He’s starting to heat up Teddy, and he’s got the crowd at his back.  Cletus better pull his head outta his ass but quick.
 
Diamond is just out-wrestling him, plain and simple.  He isn’t letting this thing turn into a street brawl.
 
A scoop slam lays Cletus out in preparation for a flying elbow drop.  The flashbulbs light up the darkened venue as nearly everyone tries to catch the Prized Gem in flight.  Cletus’s instincts serve him well on this occasion however and he rolls clear.  When he re-enters the fray he back his opponent into the corner and lays in a few chops and body blows, before Diamond pivots and manages to trap Cletus in the corner and reply with some punches of his own.  Cletus tries to extricate himself with a single leg takedown, but both men end up rolling on the mat, trading blows.
 
Now this is a mistake, you can start trading punches and rolling around with Cletus. 
 
He’ll damn sure fight ya Teddy…Cletus likes it in close so he can get dirty.  He’s like me that way.
 
True to the words spoken, Cletus throws a thumb into his opponent’s throat. Surprised and stunned, the rubix cube flops about on the mat for a moment, trying to catch his wind.  As he stumbles to his feet he’s left open for a bear hug. Cletus keeps a seamless grip, pressing his head into notch between Danny's arm and torso.  After being prevented from a hair pull and two eye gouges by the ardent official, the Shine manages to break the hold with a bell lap that leaves the cutter with ringing ears. As the Maritimer hobbles away, Diamond takes the pins out from under him with a chop block.  He grasps the near leg of his opponent, lifts it up and drives the knee into the canvas.  He laces a few kicks into the battered limb, stomps it a few times more, and must contend with the official once again.  Brushing off his reproaches, Danny mounts the turnbuckle as Cletus, visibly shaken by the flurry, makes it to his feet. An attempted flying axe handle by the Prized Gem falls short as his woodsy counterpart has the presence of mind to land a shot to the gut on his flying foe. The river forks rambler helps the wounded warrior to his feet, only to send him stumbling backwards into the ropes after a chilling inverted atomic drop. Not wasting his time, the big paw of the pine island powerhouse attaches itself to Danny’s shoulder, grinding into the soft tissue of the trapezius area.  However, with the crowd behind him, Diamond rolls backward and catches Cletus in the brow with a kick, the resounding thud echoing throughout the rafters.
 
Kinda sounded empty don’t ya think Teddy?  Like there wasn’t anything in that head of Cletus’?
 
Could be, but I’m afraid that a kick in the head won’t be enough to stop Cletus.
 
As Cletus scrambles to his feet too quickly, Danny is right there, planting both hands on the woodsman’s bulbous cranium and leaping into the air to execute a jumping headbutt.  Yet, the Prized Gem’s next offensive offering, a standing dropkick, is batted away by the beast of bonnie Beaubears, who falls upon his prone form like a felled pine, letting gravity amplify the effect of his own headbutt, which connects with the solar plexus.  Cletus bounds up and makes a cover, but gains only a two count.  He hauls the bejewelled grappler to his feet and lifts his opponent up and drops him so that Diamond’s stomach impacts against the knee of the lumberman. The gutbuster leaves Danny dazed, but able to kick out once again at the count of two.  A bit annoyed, Cletus drops another headbutt onto the prone form of his opponent, but still only manages to get a two count for his effort.  Cletus hits the ropes, to get a bit more power, and falls upon the Englishman again, driving the point of his knee into the heart.  Cletus follows up with a few taunting kicks to his downed foe, urging him to his feet.  When he rises, he sets about to whip him into the far ropes, but the move is miraculously reversed and now it’s the logger flung off the taunt strands and slammed to the mat.  The crowd erupts as Danny floats over and unloads a flurry of blows into the defenceless woodsman, who can barely raise his hands to shield himself.  He fires Cletus so hard into the corner that the momentum carries him over the buckle and post, clear to the floor below. 
 
Whoa!  Cletus going for the ride, and ends up making a bad landing.
 
He needs to slow things down here, like he did earlier on.  He should have covered after that knee drop. 
 
True enough partner, he’s wrestling Diamond’s style here at this point, and it shows.
 
Cletus tries to shake the cobwebs, but he’s hard pressed, as Diamond slips from the ring and runs headlong into the gruff Beaubearian.  Cletus reels and soon finds himself in the hands of the Prized Gem, who summarily acquaints the logger’s visage with the finer points of the ring apron, before heaving back inside the squared circle.  Danny takes Cletus to the ropes and runs his head from turnbuckle to turnbuckle, educating the birler about the laws of friction. He releases his quarry and cocks his right hand, but the man from Beaubears manages to duck the roundhouse and scoops the legs to put Diamond on his back.  The beast of bonnie Beaubears bruiser delivers a series of elbow drops to the inside of his foe’s left leg and gives a leg drop in between those legs for good measure. Stepping around the prone grappler, Cletus rakes his eyes with a well-placed boot. The river forks rambler now locks his opponent’s leg behind the knee and then traps the other leg over the already-locked foot. He then uses his other foot to press against his foe’s knee; an Indian Deathlock best known as The Log Jam. 
 
This is it Teddy!  Cletus isn’t long on brains, but those big legs are going to snap Danny’s like a couple of twigs!
 
Don’t underestimate the heart of the Prized Gem.
 
He don’t need more heart, he needs more leg; pay attention!
 
Diamond struggles and strains, crying out in agony as he reaches for the bottom rope.  Adrenaline gives the Prized Gem strength enough to haul the near three hundred pound inches closer to the saving strands.  However, the grasping of them does nothing to halt the pine island powerhouse, who keeps on the pressure until the man in stripes reaches four, narrowly skirting the DQ.  With the ref’s finger in the face of the recently vertical Cletus, the Shine is once again thrashing about, trying to get his feet under him in a display of pugnacity that wins over the audience. Cletus grasps his arm and sends him into the ropes with such force that his body turns over the top rope, but his head is caught between the first and second strand. Hung, and writhing to free himself, Cletus decides to scoot outside and hook Danny’s legs, allowing him to dangle helplessly.
 
Things are going Cletus’ way now, we’ve seen this move before.
 
I’m surprised you’re not bleating as usually about rule-breaking and such.
 
This is as illegal a move as it gets, but it doesn’t do me any good to protest.
 
You’re learning Teddy.
 
While Cletus rains blows on the ever reddening head of Diamond, the official has seen enough. Soon a squad of backstage officials have congregated outside the ring and are trying to free the human rubix cube, while the referee makes to hold Cletus in a neutral corner. As the Brute of Bonnie Beaubears jaws with the fans and crows about his imminent victory, Danny is liberated and falls to the mat with an abysmal thud. Not caring for the health of the other man, Cletus drops a leg on him then props a foot in the middle of the opposition’s chest and does a double bicep curl; an unthinking pinfall attempt. Once again the tide turns, and Diamond springs to life suddenly. So fast is his rise from the mat that the logger falls foolishly backward. In desperation, Cletus grabs him from behind, but Danny thrusts his pelvis forth and proceeds to slam his backside into the whistle punk’s midriff, sending him to the canvas.
 
What the hell kind of a move is that?
 
An effective one by the looks of it.
 
Cletus, now dazed and apprehensive, finds himself on the wrong end of a standing dropkick, that puts him on his back. Danny gives his rustic opposition a few firm strikes in order to be sure he’ll be immobile for the next few moments. The pine island powerhouse coils on the mat in clear agony, while Diamond proceeds to kick him mercilessly. Cletus labours to get his footing, trying to escape the pain, but the Prized Gem continues to lash him viciously, as his supporters count along. The lumberjack tries to run, but the opposition keeps up step-for-step and stroke-for-stroke. At his wits end, he ducks out between the ropes, hoping his opponent will not follow.
 
Cletus takes a powder once again.
 
Well, he’s breaking his opponent’s momentum; no different than a quarterback running out of bounds to avoid a tackle.
 
Cletus takes a lap around the ring, time to clear his head a little and reassess the situation. He climbs the ring stairs deliberately, but is forced off the apron by a charge from his adversary. Finally, the icy islander decides to take his licks and slides into a few blows from the Prized Gem. The larger man fights his way to his feet and the two men begin to trade lefts and rights. Astonishingly, the smaller man seems to be getting the better of the logger and finishes his final flurry with a discus punch. The crowd cheers, sensing that this battle will soon be at and end. The Englishman lifts his motionless opponent up from the canvas onto his shoulders, but all does not go according to plan. Cletus shifts his weight, causing the Shine to lose his grip. As he turns to face the birler, Cletus bowls him over with a Clear-cut Clothesline. Cover. 1. 2. 3.

Cletus can take the win. I know my post isn't gonna win it so there's no point in this taking up grading time.