This match has been given an 18 hour extension.

In this Vendetta edition, the audience is visibly excited, as they await the main event with great anticipation. However, before this huge match there are also some great events, like the return of a certain… Giant. E.G Deal, The Egyptian Eagle was set to return this week, in a match against Cletus The Lumberjack, who hasn't had the best of spells ever since he joined. E.G. has been gone for a while, but tonight he wants to comeback with a bang, and set his career straight.

Cletus has made it into the squared circle, quite motivated to set the record straight and make a big impression against the returning Deal. Quite unexpectedly, however, the Egyptian slides in from behind. Cletus hears him stepping into the ring and turns around faded, before getting slammed into the ground by a huge Spear! Deal then pins him down for the count!

(Sorry for the bad, bad first impression, but I had a pretty bad week, an injured thumb, which forced me to catch up with things I missed in school, so I didn't really have much time to write. I promise it will get better, though.)

The two big men come to the middle and Deal starts the aggravation off early with a big shove to the whistle punk.  A greasy grin crawls across Cletus’ mug and he steps in a delivers a big shove of his own, which touches off a hailstorm of punches from both men and we’re really underway.  The lumberman locks his arms around the head of Deal and grinds in a headlock.  The Golden Eagle pushes off and Cletus hits the ropes, but comes back with a shoulder block.  Staggered, the Egyptian falls prey to a scoop slam from the birler, who adds insult to injury by raking the big man’s eyes with his boot.

There certainly seems to be some bad blood between these two.

What do you expect, this is primal shit; two big bucks trying to prove dominance

As Deal regains verticality, the Lumberjack walks him back into the far corner and fires his foe to the opposite end of the ring.  The thud as 310lbs hit the buckle sends a ‘OH” through the crowd, regardless of their feelings for the Destiny Holder, who grimaces as his spine jars from the impact, his vision blurs from the tears in his eyes, such that he almost isn't able to get his left foot up to kick a charging Lumberjack.  Deal follows that up with several right hands and the official steps in to warn the bigger man about the closed fists, resulting in a shouting match. This gives the pine island powerhouse too much time to recover and as Deal turns his attention back to Cletus he is met by a huge clothesline.

Oh my God!  I’ll bet EG Deal hasn’t felt anything like that before.

He took his eye off the ball and he paid for it.

Cletus smiles as he bends down and grabs the Real Deal by the head and stands him up to his feet. The big lumberjack wraps his arms around him and shifts into a bear hug. The Egyptian moans in pain as the big lumberjack tightens the grip. The ref makes his way over and checks to see if Deal can continue with the match, but as the ref raises the already limp arm for a third time, Deal seems to come alive and lifts his other arm up, before clapping his hands and ringing the bell of the lumberjack. The Real Deal knocks the logger back with a few overhand strikes, which seem to clear the cobwebs for the Canadian.  Having Cletus’ full attention, Deal raises his hand, signalling that he wants a Greco-Roman knuckle lock.   The Beaubear brawler takes exactly one step forward before he checks with the crowd as to how he might proceed.  The jeers from the XWA faithful tell Cletus to do a lot of things, several of which are physiologically impossible, so he takes it upon himself to venture forward and meet the challenge before him.  Twenty fingers entwine, four palms meet and two chests smack together and both men attempt to overwhelm their opposite.  Muscles bulge and sweat is cast off in sprays before the superior weight advantage and power of the monster begin to tell.  Slowly but surely the whistle punk is forced to his knees.

Well no one ever accused Cletus of being a brain trust, but even he should be able to figure out you don’t try to match strength with a guy who has a height and weight advantage on you.

Well, you said it partner, he isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer and that’s led him into trouble in this contest.

Cletus is still hungry however, and proving the same he clamps his jaws on the inner thigh of the Egyptian, forcing him to break the hold.  As Deal wails in pain, Cletus wriggles his head, trying to take a piece of the larger man with him, and prompting cheers from those who erroneously believe that the logger is masticating the cocky heel’s genitals.  The man in stripes makes good use of his DQ count and forces Cletus to release his quarry.  There follows a lengthy discussion on the legality of what was just done and assurances from the ref about what will occur should this behaviour be repeated.  When Cletus rejoins the action, EG Deal is waiting with a knee into Perry’s the midsection, and hooks a belly-to-belly suplex.  The wound on the leg gives the big man a little pause and he misses the chance to follow up a the Beaubears native gets to his feet.  Cletus gets back up and enters into another lock-up, this time managing to come up with an arm-wringer.  The Destiny Holder doesn’t care to have his arm wrenched, so he counters with an Irish whip to the far ropes.  He drops down, planning on flattening his opposition as he steps over him and finds the near strands, but the lumberjack hooks his arms on the ropes, stopping short.  Presented with a recumbent Deal, he winds up and drops a quick elbow.  The logger hauls his foe to his feet  and goes back to the arm once again, twisting and yanking on the already tender limb.  Yet, he’s gone to the well once too often and the bigger man makes him pay for it by scooping him into a slam.  Deal hooks the lumberman’s head, raises as massive arm, and clubs it down across the back of his opposition.  With evident distain for his rustic adversary, the Golden Eagle begins to stomp the Canadian into the mat.  Now lifting him up to a vertical base, and careful to keep his opponent between himself and the referee, Deal grabs a handful of tights and plants a number of stiff shots into Cletus’ kidneys.  As the birler staggers away, the Egyptian gives chase, driving him into the corner.   Yet, the bull’s rush charge that he makes is ill-advised; Cletus drops out and sends Deal colliding with the steel post.

Deal had the advantage there, but he got cocky.  Now that arm has to be killing him and that is going to leave a big hole in his offence.

True enough, but Cletus is in no shape to follow up either.  After those ham-sized fists to the back h’ll be pissin’ blood for a few days.

With both men down, the man in stripes starts a laborious count that seems to indicate that he’s not inclined to have this one end with both men unable to continue. At length, Deal begins to stir, shaking loose the cobwebs, and, sensing an opportunity, steps into his downed foe with a few choice kicks to the midriff. Smacks echo through the building, as a wounded whoop erupts from the woodsman’s mouth. Feeling a good bit more certain about the outcome of the contest, the real deal grabs the pain-laced visage of the lumberman, and after verbally berating him, paintbrushes him a few times with a stiff hand. Cletus shakes himself like a dog and suddenly appears ready to dish out some punishment. A whoop straight from the Nor’West Miramichi fills the air. A barrage of double axe handles soon has Deal on the back foot, and, the overwhelmed and the frantic flailing of his arms does little to stop it. It doesn’t take long before the Golden Eagle’s wings are clipped and he sinks to the canvas.

A brutal beating by Cletus here, those slaps seem to have brought him around.

He likes it rough I guess.

The hefty birler shifts tactics and, grabbing his foe’s hands, applies a straightjacket submission. Wrenching back, Cletus gives a slow and sly nod to the assembled masses.  The shift in confidence seems to have been perceived by the Real Deal, as he attempts to pitch and roll himself free. Aware of his position in the ring, he flails his legs and manages to hook the ropes. Cletus reluctantly releases the hold and Deal falls supine on the mat. The beast of Beaubears winds up to deliver an elbow drop, but EG manages to roll clear.  Embarrassed, Cletus is too quick to his feet and when he spins Deal around he`s  ready with a stunning left; Cletus lands a right of his own, but finds himself on the receiving end of three shots, each more stinging than the last, and a whip to the far corner.  Deal follows him in, but gets caught in a head scissors, seconds before Cletus raises one leg and brings it crashing down on the Egyptian’s cranium. Stumbling backward, EG next falls prey to a headbutt, which leaves him on his back. With a ring savvy, which belies his simple nature; Cletus drags Deal to the corner and clamours to the outside.  He hauls the Destiny Holder into the post and proceeds to smash his leg into the steel.  The pine island powerhouse locks his opponent’s leg behind the knee and then traps the other leg over the already-locked foot. He then uses his other foot to press against his foe’s knee; an Indian Deathlock best known as The Log Jam.  Yet, the hold doesn’t last long, as Deal’s reach sees him safely to the ropes.

You always have to know where you are in that ring, and Deal’s so big he’s never far from the ropes.

Cletus blows another one, I think he’s running out of ideas…and it isn’t like he’s got all that many.

He’s led a lot of this match thus far though, Deal has got to get some traction.

He’s pulling a Greg Valentine tonight, taking his time to warm up.

Cletus stands and beckons the real deal to his feet, and when the Egyptian plants his tree-like like legs underneath him, the logger sets about chopping him down with a bevy of lefts and rights.  The Golden Eagle plants a boot to the gut of the opposition and cuts to the chase with a big headbutt that sends Cletus staggering into the corner.  Still moving a little gingerly on his recently Jammed leg, Deal follows his foe in gives a few more boots for good measure.  He braces himself on the ropes and lifts his leg to close off Cletus’ throat, breaking on the referee’s count.  Dragging the ragged rustic toward the middle, Deal’s Irish whip is followed by a big slidewalk slam.  He makes the cover, but only manages to get a two before the Canadian rolls a shoulder.  Cletus uses the ropes to gain his footing but is on his arse again courtesy of another headbutt from the Eagle.  A elbow drop follows and Deal tries another cover, but still only manages a two count.

Well, things took a turn there.  You think Deal can hear us?

I’m not sure partner, but he certainly has taken back this contest and quickly.

Far from finished yet, Deal snatches up his foe and sends him to the buckle.  A series of shoulder tackles soften the midriff of the man from Beaubears lonely isle, before the Titan places his opponent stomach down on his shoulder then drops him face-first into the turnbuckle.  As Cletus stumbles, dazed by the snake-eyes, the Destiny Holder slaps on a bearhug of his own, his massive arms constricting around the midsection of the lumberman.  Blood dribbles out of Cletus’ mouth, though it’s unclear whether it’s on account of a wound in his mouth or something more serious and internal.  EG Deal grins and synchs up on the hold.  Every time the whistle punk struggles to his feet, he’s thrown to the mat, driving the precious oxygen from his lungs.  Each time the referee looks to intercede, Deal pulls his opponent away, like a dog with a bone.  When the brute of Bonnie Beaubears has wilted sufficiently, he’s slammed to the mat once more and covered.  The referee hops into position, and slaps the mat twice, but his hand falls for the decisive third time, he’s pulled from the ring.  The camera shifts and a woman stands over the prone body of the official.

Who the Hell is that?

I apologize folks, I think some overzealous fan has jumped the barricade here.

Get security out here and cart this crazy bitch off in the paddy wagon.

Yeah, come on guys get a move on, I think she’s heading for the ring.

She had better not, EG Deal ain’t no referee.  She’ll be wishing for a night in the pen after tangling with him.

The Golden Eagle is at the ropes berating this interloper, but she stands almost completely still, her red toque and plaid hooded sweater masking her downcast face.  The Real Deal steps over the ropes, about to turn this into a face to face encounter, when tardy security drag her away.  She offers no resistance as they force her hands behind her back and begin to move her back to toward the entrance way.  At ringside, Deal lifts the limp referee effortlessly and rolls him into the squared circle before climbing in himself.   By this time Cletus is up as well and shaking his head to regain his bearings.  Deal closes in behind and grabs a waistlock, but gets a mule kick in reply.  Meanwhile Cletus’ mysterious benefactor has suddenly found her inner rage at her capture and is grappling with the security guards until suddenly reinforced by the perverse pulp peeler, Big Jim.  Without warning the lady logger’s hood falls and the cameras get a glimpse of a very familiar face.

Oh Dear God….

That’s Lumber Jill!  That’s Lumber fucking Jill!  I thought she was locked up in the boobie hatch.

Apparently not…

Back inside the ring, Cletus throws a series of weary boots into his collapsed rival before positioning his head under the ropes and slingshoting him throat-first into the bottom strand.  As EG sputters and spasms, the ferry road freight train gathers steam and delivers a cannonball senton onto the prone 310lbs frame.  He goes for the cover, but the referee is way out of position and still pretty loopy from his bump on the floor so there’s barely a two count before deal kicks out.  Cletus decides to take up his grievance with the official, and with the security guards subdued he’s soon joined by Jim & Jill from the floor.  The three loggers hector the ref, but he fires back by tugging on his shirt and reminding one and all where the authority in this match lies.  He’s just about to send Cletus’ posse to the back when the sou’West Savage calls for brute of bonnie Beaubears to duck and cover.  The man in zebra stripes isn’t so lucky and gets folded up by an EG Deal spear.

That ref had better be getting hazard pay.

Are you kidding?  I think this ham’n’egger still has to be out here for the barbed wire match.

Looking at the twisted form of the official, EG Deal curses his bad luck, but he doesn’t realize how bad he has it until he turns and sees the Logging Crew and Lumber Jill now standing at his back.  His body slackens and he lets out a big sigh; no winner’s purse is worth this.  He flips off the three of them and exits the ring.  The loggers get the ref up and Jill offers him the kiss of life.  They smile all the way from one to ten.

Well, a win’s a win

Yeah but I can’t imagine that’s how Cletus wanted to go over tonight.  

Maybe not, but I think putting the fear into a guy like Deal has to take the edge off a little.