M9 | JHalc vs. Cletus the Lumberjack

TeamMoose Posts : 14180 Join date : 2013-07-19 Age : 31

Due: Saturday, March 1st, at 11:59 PM EDT

TeamMoose Posts : 14180 Join date : 2013-07-19 Age : 31

This match has been extended 12 hours. I aint bothered

Jobber Posts : 73 Join date : 2013-12-16

JHalc eyes up his opponent as he contemplates how to handle the size disadvantage. The Jack of Hearts charges straight at the Lumberjack and both superstars lock up in the center of the ring and the test of who can get the advantage begins. JHalc loses the battle rather quickly and finds himself being walked back towards the turnbuckles behind him. The Lumberjack presses with all his weight trying to crush the smaller superstar in the corner before placing one of his big meaty hands on the back of JHalc while grabbing his left wrist, firing his foe out of the corner and to hit with a thud on the far side. JHalc grimaces as his spine jars from the impact, his vision blurs from the tears in his eyes, such that he almost isn't able to get his left foot up to kick a charging Lumberjack. Cletus charges again and this time gets an elbow to the chops for his effort, JHalc follows that up with several right hands trying to stun the bigger man to allow him to get the advantage. The ref is seen confronting JHalc about the closed fists and a shouting match ensues. This gives the big man too much time to recover and as JHalc turns his attention back to Cletus he is met by a huge clothesline that almost decapitates the young superstar spinning him inside out before he lands with a thud.

Oh my God! JHalc isn't moving...that wasn’t exactly fair.

What was unfair about it? JHalc took his eye off the ball and he paid for it.

Cletus smiles an evil grin as he bends down and grabs the Jack of Hearts by the head and stands him up to his feet. The big lumberjack wraps his arms around JHalc, lifts him up into a bear hug. The twice endowed champion screams in pain as the big lumberjack tightens the grip as he turns side to side shaking his captive like a rag doll. The ref makes his way over and checks to see if JHalc can continue with the match, but as the ref raises the already limp arm of JHalc for a third time, he seems to come alive and lifts his other arm up, before clapping his hands and ringing the bell of the lumberjack. The Jack of Hearts makes the most of this opportunity and rolls out of the ring to catch a breather and break his opponent’s momentum. Cletus gives chase, but his loping stride does him no credit, only affording his adversary the opportunity to fire an impressive kick into his cranium, the impact of which reverberates off the arena walls causing many people to cringe. The Jack of Hearts grabs several pieces of video wire and proceeds to strangle his foe.

Well shit, he found a way to bring the bigger man down.

I’ll give the Jack of Hearts credit he has really taken it to his opponent tonight and this match could turn out to be the one that breaks Devolution’s losing streak with regard to the Logging Crew.

Cheers of encouragement and jeers of scorn shower down from the rafters, JHalc pulls back hard and the cords wrap tighter around Cletus’ throat. The woodsman desperately reaches back and upsets the legs of his foe, giving him enough time to skulk away and catch his breath. He rolls into the ring and sucks in, feeding his oxygen-deprived body, while his smaller opponent slides into the squared circle. Eying the lumberjack on the rise, the Jack of Hearts thinks fast and aims to showcase some aerial artistry. Hurling himself off the ropes, he plants both feet into Cletus’ mush, and forces a curt re-introduction to the canvas. Eager to capitalize on the present situation, the double gilded grappler leaps from the apron to the top rope, and executes a hurricanrana on the still dazed woodsman, which leaves the crowd in no doubt of his credentials.

JHalc is mounting a comeback here with some impressive combinations, and looking pretty fine doing it.

It’s fancy to look at, but I’m not sure how far it’ll take him. I think he’s just pissing Cletus off, to tell you the truth.

JHalc takes only a few moments to express his feelings to the crowd. Incensed, the Brute of Bonnie Beaubears is eager to reply and revenge himself, but his opponent has other plans. The moment that Cletus gets his feet under him, the Jack of Hearts scales him like a tree, stands on his back, and pulls back his arm, in a fashion similar to a fujiwara armbar. Lucha libre fans know the move as the Black Man Special, but Cletus only knows that it hurts like Hell, and the added weight on his back isn’t doing him any favours either. As the lumberman takes the first action that enters his head, namely throwing himself backward in hopes of mashing his opponent between himself and the canvas, JHalc merely hops clear, and Cletus is made to look the fool. A charge by the whistle punk does nothing to aid his cause, but only sees him facedown once again on account of drop toe hold. Aiming to slow things down a little, to catch his breath and maintain control, the champion jumps, flips forward, and lands on his opponent lying beneath him, pressing his weight against the whistle punk’s cranium. Yet, JHalc isn’t through yet, he takes a running start, leaping onto the top ring rope, then performs two full backflips in the air and crashes down on his opponent, forcing the air, and a great groan, from his body. When Cletus gets his feet under him, more out of instinct than any wherewithal, JHalc grasps his arm for an Irish whip. The man from Beaubears manages to reverse the fling, sending his rival into the buckle. Even so, the bull’s rush charge that Cletus makes is ill-advised and leapfrog by JHalc sends him colliding with the steel post.

A beautiful leapfrog saves the Intercontinental champion that time.

Didn’t do him much good Teddy; took two steps and fell right on his ass.

Better than taking home the small money.

Ya got me there.

With both men down, the man in stripes starts a laborious count that seems to indicate that he’s not inclined to have this one end with both men unable to continue. At length, JHalc begins to stir, shaking loose the cobwebs, and, sensing an opportunity, steps into his downed foe with a few choice kicks to the midriff. Smacks echo through the building, as a wounded whoop erupts from the woodsman’s mouth. Feeling a good bit more certain about the outcome of the contest, the Jack of Hearts grabs the pain-laced visage of the lumberman, and after verbally berating him, paintbrushes him a few times with a stiff hand. Cletus shakes himself like a dog and suddenly appears ready to dish out some punishment. A whoop straight from the Nor’West Miramichi fills the air. A barrage of double axe handles soon has JHalc on the back foot, and, the overwhelmed and the frantic flailing of his arms does little to stop it. It doesn’t take long before the Jack of Hearts’ toned physique buckles and sinks to the canvas.

A brutal beating by Cletus here; JHalc has shown a lot of guts, but how long can he stand up to a barrage like this?

Not long.

Caught coming in with an inverted atomic drop, courtesy of the man from Beaubears, the Jack of Hearts falls into a vicious bearhug once again. Lifted into the air, in a show of strength by Cletus, JHalc is quickly thrown to the mat; discarded by the powerhouse, who’s still trying to get his bearings. Far too soon however, the double champ is once again thrashing about, trying to get his feet under him in a display of pugnacity that wins over the audience. Cletus grasps his arm and sends him into the ropes with such force that his body turns over the top rope, but his head is caught between the first and second strand. Hung, and writhing to free himself, Cletus decides to scoot outside and hook JHalc’s legs, allowing him to dangle helplessly.

Dear Lord, is he trying to kill him?!

It certainly appears that way. Cletus is pulling no punches here. He’s got to be frustrated by JHalc’s resilience.

Stop the god-damn match!

While Cletus rains blows on the ever reddening head of JHalc, the official has seen enough. Soon a squad of backstage officials have congregated outside the ring and are trying to free JHalc, while the referee makes to hold Cletus in a neutral corner. As the Brute of Bonnie Beaubears jaws with the fans and crows about his imminent victory, JHalc is liberated and falls to the mat with an abysmal thud. Not caring for the health of the other man, Cletus drops a leg on him then props a foot in the middle of the champion’s chest and does a double bicep curl; an unthinking pinfall attempt. Once again the tide turns, and JHalc springs to life suddenly. So fast is his rise from the mat that the logger falls foolishly backward. In desperation, Cletus grabs him from behind, but JHalc thrusts his pelvis forth and proceeds to slam his backside into the whistle punk’s midriff, sending him to the canvas.

That’s a bit of a pussy move…

Hey, whatever works…

Cletus, now dazed and apprehensive, finds himself on the wrong end of a standing dropkick, that puts him on his back. JHalc gives his rustic opposition a few firm strikes in order to be sure he’ll be immobile for the next few moments. The pine island powerhouse coils on the mat in clear agony, while JHalc proceeds to kick him mercilessly. Cletus labours to get his footing, trying to escape the pain, but the Jack of Hearts continues to lash him viciously, as his supporters count along. The lumberjack tries to run, but the opposition keeps up step-for-step and stroke-for-stroke. At his wits end, he ducks out between the ropes, hoping the champ will not follow.

Cletus is on the run, he’s out of ideas.

Well, he isn’t drawing from a very deep reservoir.

Taking a walk here, hoping to come up with something new.

He’ll need more than a walk for that. More than a first grade education too.

True enough, I’d say it’s a safe bet that Cletus only knows one way, straight ahead.

Cletus takes a lap around the ring, time to clear his head a little and reassess the situation. He climbs the ring stairs deliberately, but is forced off the apron by a charge from his adversary. Finally, the icy islander decides to take his licks and slides into a few blows from the Jack of Hearts. The larger man fights his way to his feet and the two men begin to trade lefts and rights. Astonishingly, the smaller man seems to be getting the better of the logger and finishes his final flurry with a discus punch. The crowd cheers, sensing that this battle will soon be at and end. JHalc lifts his motionless opponent up from the canvas onto his shoulders, but all does not go according to plan. Cletus shifts his weight, causing the Jack of Hearts to lose his grip. As he turns to face the birler, Cletus bowls him over with a Clear-cut Clothesline. The rest is academic.

TeamJoker Posts : 1189 Join date : 2013-07-21 Age : 35

[DING! DING! DING!]

The bell rings and Jay turns from the ring post, where he has placed his hat, and looks at his opponent. The lumberjack makes like he is going to rush across the ring, but it is just a ploy to put the smaller man on his toes. The Jack of Hearts comes out of the corner with his hands in the air starting to circle around the ring. Cletus does the same, starting to spiral around the ring in the same direction, managing to keep the champion exactly across the ring from himself.

Ted Cedar
The Intercontinental Champion is coming in at a major size disadvantage.

Joey Miles
He's looking at almost 300 pounds of pure fucking flannel. He should be shitting his pants.

JHalc seems to know that he can't avoid the inevitable forever, he stops his circling and steps forward. Cletus does the same and the two come together in a collar-elbow-tie-up in the center of the ring. It isn't much of a battle though, despite what the crowd would have led listeners to believe. Cletus starts to back Jay up, but as the veteran is about to find himself with his back to the turnbuckles he crosses his legs falls, turning to his side, and uses the lumberjack's momentum to bring them down towards the mat. As they fall, Cletus is dragged along, hitting the side of his head off of the middle turnbuckle pad and releasing his grip on his opponent. Jay is up in a flash, wanting to stay on the advantage but the referee cuts him off, and checks on the big man in the corner. As the official gets shoved out of the way, Jay runs to the opposite side of the ring, gaining momentum off the ropes and coming back towards his adversary. Cletus wheels around, and swings his massive arm for a clothesline that would have likely decapitated the Intercontinental Champion, but Jay ducks, and then leaps into the air once he is behind the large man. Jay hits the middle rope firmly with both feet and then launches himself backwards, spinning in the air to face his opponent, but getting crushed with a vicious headbutt before he can even think about what to do with his air time. The Jack of Hearts hits the mat hard, bringing his arms across his chest and trying to find a way to force air back into his lungs. The referee slides to check on him, but the big man drops down to a knee and puts his hand over the champion.

One!

Jay smacks the hand and rolls away!

Ted Cedar
Cletus had to know that wasn't going to pan out.

Joey Miles
Had he broken his fucking sternum Jay would have just laid there. It was a good move.

The better looking half of the tag team champions rolls all the way to the apron, and then ducks out of the ring, holding his chest. He backs up from the ring, looking up and just seeing a mountain of a man that he isn't going to be able to easily move. The referee moves to the ropes and tells Jay to come back inside, but gets a negative head shake from the Jack of Hearts.

One!

Cletus steps forward, not going to allow the smaller man to flee and recuperate. The steps to the ropes and pulls the referee out of the way. Just like that, JHalc seizes the opportunity. He sprints towards the ring and is on the apron by the time the big man turns to face him. Jay grabs his head with both hands and then drops back down off the apron, hanging the man via the throat over the top rope. The lumberjack staggers backwards, trying to catch his breath, but the smaller man is already on the move again. He climbs back up to the apron and grabs the top rope before pulling himself up into the air. He touches the top rope just hard enough to give himself a spring and then hits a flying forearm smash that sends the big man down to the mat. Jay tries to hook the far leg, but finds it too heavy to lift, before the referee slides into position to count the fall.

One!

Tw--kickout!

To say it was a kick out would be to sell it short. Cletus raises his arms up and bench presses Jay into the air.

Ted Cedar
That was impressive.

Joey Miles
Never mess with a guy that could probably eat you for breakfast.

Jay gets his feet under himself faster than the lumberjack can rise to his feet. The champion catches him on one knee and sends a flurry of elbow shots to his head, trying to keep him from assuming his size advantage. Instead of staggering the man this time, Jay ends up shoved violently backwards. He rebounds off of the ropes and catches a boot directly in the center of his chest that drops him to his knees, unable to breathe. Cletus isn't done yet though, he steps forward, hooking Jay up in a suplex position before lifting him back to his feet and then into the air. The bigger man lets him suspend inverted in the air for several moments, and at the peak of the crowd's boos he drops back and slams Jay hard to the ground. Not wasting even a second, Cletus spins around on the mat and this time presses his body across the champion's for the pin.

One!

Two!

Shoulder up!

Ted Cedar
He isn't going to get the champ that easy.

Joey Miles
Jay should just stay down. There is no way he is going to take this sack of shit.

The big man knows that he is in control and reaches down for Jay's head as he tries to get away. He gets both hands around the man's neck and then powers him up into the air, not bothering to even let him get his feet planted on the mat first. The Intercontinental Champion squirms in the air, and the referee steps in, telling him that it is an illegal choke. Jay fights to free himself, but the referee is forced to make his count.

One!

Two!

Cletus removes his hands from Jay's neck, but surges forward while the smaller man is still suspended in the air and drives him into the mat with what looks like a spear. The lumberjack makes sure to put all of his weight down on the chest of his opponent on the way down, and then hooks JHalc's far leg for another attempt at putting the champion away.

One!

Two!

Shoulder Up!

Cletus sits up, clearly starting to get frustrated. He grabs Jay by the head again, and drags the man to his feet. JHalc gets his feet planted this time, despite being a little wobbly. Just as he thinks that he is in the clear though, Cletus grabs him by the wrist and pulls him in, lifting an arm to take the Jack of Hearts' head off with a short arm clothesline. Jay ducks at the last possible second, and as he steps behind Cletus, reaches back over his shoulder. He jumps, and gets the big man around the neck before dragging him down into the mat with a neckbreaker. The crowd seems to will him back to life, but Jay collapses on the ropes, trying to catch his breath. The lumberjack rolls over and starts to push his way up off of the mat, but the champion closes the gap between them and punts the man in the chest, sending him back down on his side. The crowd reaction shifts from being positive, to mixed as a result of the dirty kick, but Jay could care less. Cletus again pushes himself up off the mat and Jay takes aim again before punting the man once more, sending him back down.

JHalc
Stay down!

Ted Cedar
JHalc seems to be getting a bit heated.

Joey Miles
He should spend less time talking and more time booting that son of a bitch in the face.

Cletus again pushes himself up to his hands and knees. Jay takes a running start for yet another punt to the ribs but the big man flashes a little speed of his own, turning on his side and grabbing JHalc by the boot before it can make contact with his chest. The lumberjack gets to a standing position and Jay takes a few swipes at him, but is out of reach for any strike. Thinking fast Jay leaps with his one planted foot and tries for an enziguri, but the big man ducks under the kick miraculously. Without relinquishing his grip on the man's boot, Cletus ducks his head, and stretches the leg of the champion up around the back of his neck. JHalc knows what is coming if he can't get away, and fights quickly to get his free leg back under him. He pushes up from the mat and kicks hard with his free leg, reaching out and coming just short of the ropes. Cletus is forced to step back, standing up and dragging Jay back to the center of the ring by his foot. The champion sees another opportunity and flips forward, sending Cletus rushing past him in a slingshot like maneuver. The lumberjack hits the ropes chest first and rebounds backwards into the waiting arm's of the Jack of Hearts. Jay hits the mat and takes the big man over, hoping to steal the match with a school boy style pin.

One!

Two!

Kickout!

Ted Cedar
Catching the big man by surprise almost worked.

Joey Miles
Still think he is just too fucking small to get the job done.

Cletus rolls away and gets to a knee before Jay runs in, hitting him again with as many elbow strikes as he can before he gets shoved away. Jay descends on the man again, following up with more shots, but is again shoved away. This time, instead of running directly back in, the Jack of Hearts sprints to an adjacent set or ropes and leaps up. He lands on the middle rope and springs backwards, hoping to have better luck than he did last time. This time he gets a lot more air, to be safe, and as he turns Cletus rises to his feet. Jay comes down, landing on the man's shoulders and crosses his ankles behind the big man's head before throwing himself backwards for a hurricanrana. The lumberjack halts his smaller opponent's momentum before he can be dumped back to the mat, standing his ground. Jay's head brushes the mat, but then he is powered back into the air before being brought down in a powerbomb. The air again leaves Jay's lungs and he can't find a way to refill it. Cletus is not done though. He lifts his adversary into the air once more, but JHalc knows that this is his last chance. As soon as he isn't inverted he starts throwing shots at the big man's unprotected face. Cletus lifts his prey up off of his shoulders, but Jay pushes himself forward as hard as he can and slips out of his grip, landing behind him opponent for a second time. Instead of trying anything flashy, Jay turns around and sends a stiff kick to the back of the lumberjack's knee, causing him to falls forwards. Jay runs to the ropes and rebounds for additional speed before leaping and catching his opponent in the head with a single leg dropkick. The fans come alive to see the second wind out of the Jack of Hearts and it only goes to feed him. Cletus rolls over in the ring and this time Jay isn't aiming for ribs. Instead, as the big man pushes up off the mat Jay surges ahead and blasts him in the side of the head with a punt that draws gasps from the crowd. The referee moves into position to make sure the lumberjack is still conscious, but JHalc isn't wasting his time figuring that out. Instead, he moves to the corner, getting a pop from the crowd who know what he is thinking. He pulls himself up to the top, and turns around, standing as tall as he can make himself. Without further hesitation he leaps from the rope, bringing a leg down across Cletus's neck with The Last Laugh. The Intercontinental Champion drapes himself over his opponent, knowing that the match is in his hands.

One!

Two!

Three!

[DING DING DING]

Ring Announcer
Here is your winner, The Jack of Hearts, JHalc!!!!!

Ted Cedar
He managed to pull it out.

Joey Miles
.... by kicking the fucker in the head. I tried to tell him.

The official tries to raise Jay's hand in victory, but he pulls away, stepping back to the corner where his hat is and taking it off the ringpost and placing it on his head. He raises his own hand as the feed cuts to commercial.

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M9 | JHalc vs. Cletus the Lumberjack

M9 | JHalc vs. Cletus the Lumberjack

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