XWA 2019 Fantasy Football Power Rankings: WEEK 2

1st: Siekman06’s Team (Greg): 2-0
Last Week: 4th(+3)
Result: W vs. Clown Town Bliggas (100.5-69.0)
Total Points: 218.0(3rd)
Current Streak: W2
-Another stellar week for Siekman, coupled with a few losses up top, has made way for his deserved #1 spot in the Power Rankings. Siekman was challenged in week 1, but this week cruised to a victory over the Clown Town Bliggas. There was one weak spot for Siekman in Josh Gordon(2) who needs to learn how to produce for the Patriots now that he is not the #1 WR. Outside of that, though, everybody else on the team contributed enough, though Marlon Mack(7) could have been better after his week 1 explosion and Cam Newton(11) looks like something might be wrong with him this season. Fortunately, TE Mark Andrews(21) may be in the midst of having a break-out season, and Kenny Golladay(21) looked superb in this match-up. Siekman has yet to defeated and is putting up good point totals. They look to move to 3-0 next week against one of the few teams looking to do the same.
Next Week: vs. Barn Cows (-7.0)

2nd: Barn Cows (Caleb): 2-0
Last Week: 5th(+3)
Result: W vs. PLB Penguins (106.5-98.5)
Total Points: 214.5(5th)
Current Streak: W2
-For the second week in a row, the Barn Cows saved the best for last, taking a very late victory in a barn-burner with the PLB Penguins. Despite the late intensity, the big storyline of this matchup was the blockbuster trade. A few days before doing battle, Julio Jones(24.5) and Austin Ekeler(19) were brought on board in exchange for Alvin Kamara and Kareem Hunt. They embraced their new team and came out wanting to show the Barn Cows that they made the right decision, along with workhorse Patrick Mahomes(31). They were not perfect, however. TE OJ Howard decided to basically not even play and got traded for his lack of effort, while Latavius Murray(1.5) revolted with his teammate being shipped off. An inconsistent effort, but the team got the job done. They’ll get the chance to show if they’re legitimate or flukes next week with the top ranked team in the league.
Next Week: @ Seikman (+7.0)

3rd: Cairo Camels (Abdel): 2-0
Last Week: 8th(+5)
Result: W vs. Attitude City Ninjas(107.0-88.5)
Total Points: 208.0(7th)
Current Streak: W2
-Cairo Camels have been at least mildly challenged both weeks of the season so far, but have managed to show up and don a 2-0 start, along with only two other franchises. This week they shrugged off a late surge by the Attitude City Ninjas, with the only “poor performance” coming from Alshon Jeffery’s 0 points due to injury. Outside of Jeffrey, everybody else enjoyed at least 7 points in this one. The heroes of the day include QB Dak Prescott(26) and RB Saquon Barkley(19.5), while Green Bay’s defense stepped up with 13 points, and the WR duo of Brandon Cooks and fifty seven-year-old Larry Fitzgerald combined for a solid 27. Cairo Camels had a consistent, all-around team attack this week. They will look to continue their undefeated season against a team who hit a much bigger stride this week.
Next Week: @ Huh’s Red Redskins (+1.5)

4th: PLB Penguins (CB): 1-1
Last Week: 1st(-3)
Result: L vs. Barn Cows(98.5-106.5)
Total Points: 236.5(1st)
Current Streak: L1
-It was a tough outing for the PLB Penguins, one week removed from being the clear best team in the season opener. In the aforementioned trade with his opponent in the Barn Cows, Alvin Kamara(5.5) did not come in with nearly the same energy as the other trade pieces(outside of Kareem Hunt who is currently sidelined). Not only did Kamara take a huge step back, but so did Sammy Watkins(7) after his 41.5 point explosion last week. Dallas’ defense didn’t help much at all either, chipping in only one point. QB Josh Allen(22) and TE Travis Kelce(19.5) led the way with strong efforts, but were ultimately vanquished in the end. The Penguins will be looking to get back on track against a team that took a massive slide back this week.
Next Week: vs. Flex Donovan’s Deal (-19.5)

5th: MexiHawks (Mexi): 1-1
Last Week: 11th(+6)
Result: W vs. Leo’s Legendary Team (123.0-104.5)
Total Points: 225.5(2nd)
Current Streak: W1
-The great teams know how to respond when they suffer a heart-wrenching loss that could have gone in their favor. MexiHawks placed their week 1 loss in the past, and cruised to tying for the best score in week 2, dismantling Leo’s Legendary Team who would have gotten the job done against more than half of the league this week. Seattle’s defense(3) and David Johnson(7.5) were the low points of MexiHawk’s attack, but the dirty birds shook it off and let the rest of their team go to work. Lamar Jackson(30) wasn’t bad for a quarterback or running back, no matter how you classify him, and Aaron Jones(22) performed like he was expected to after a weak season opener. K Joey Slye has been on fire so far, coming away with 16 points of his own. MexiHawks look fierce and fresh, and might get to feast on a team that would have been defeated by a D6 college team this week.
Next Week: vs. Ferngully (-21.0)

6th: Moose Nuggets (Moose): 1-1
Last Week: 13th(+7)
Result: W vs. Louisville Losers (123.0-55.0)
Total Points: 217.0(4th)
Current Streak: W1
-Excuse me while I clean my glasses and re-check this score…. Moose Nuggets had the biggest blowout of the week?! The franchise with the worst winning percentage in the new era just dominated, tying for the highest score of the week?! You better believe it. Moose Nuggets are a different team this year. It’s as though somebody else picked this team out for them. Louisville Losers were picked apart and overwhelmed from the opening whistle, as Moose Nuggets played excellent team ball. Chris Godwin(22) had a splendid game to lead the way, while Matt Ryan(18) overcame three picks to contribute greatly. RB Nick Chubb and WR Tyler Boyd came out with 17 each. George Kittle(6.5) And Justin Jackson(5.5) could have been better, but when your the rest team is playing lights out, slightly-below-average will suffice. Let’s see if they can stay dominant against another good team in their quest for a positive record.
Next Week: @ Attitude City Ninjas (+5.5)

7th: Ball Fondlers (JHalc):1-1
Last Week: 12th(+5)
Result: W vs. Ferngully (107.0-46.5)
Total Points: 205.0(8th)
Current Streak: W1
-Now *this* is more like the Ball Fondlers we expected to see in week 1, blowing Ferngully out of the water in a vicious, brutal 60.5 point thrashing. Things don’t get much worse for an owner like Ferngully, watching New England’s defense(35!) single-handedly score 75% of their team’s total. Also contributing greatly for Ball Fondlers include QB Jared Goff(19), RB Todd Gurley(13.5), and WR Marquise Brown(12). Many of the team did still underwhelm; Gus Edwards was content with his one point, Stephen Gostkowski(4) missed a few kicks, and Mike Evans(8) has yet to play to his standards this season. Melvin Gordon has still yet to touch the field this season. He’ll have an upcoming date with an opponent who just defeated his week 1 loss.
Next Week: @ The Romie Remission (+1.5)

8th: Flex Donovan’s Deal (Ian): 1-1
Last Week: 2nd(-6)
Result: W vs. Ball Fondlers (69.5-78.5)
Total Points: 198.5(9th)
Current Streak: L1
-There was no flexing this week, as Flex Donovan’s Deal did not look like the same team that feasted in the opener. Two players posted goose eggs in DeVante Parker and DeSean Jackson(albeit hindered by an injury). RB Kerryon Johnson(15) led the way with WR Michael Thomas(13) not trailing too far behind. DeShaun Watson contributed 12 points, which is a drastic underperformance by his standards, especially with his back-up Jimmy Garoppolo(22) outperforming him from the bench, along with his teammate Marquise Goodwin posting a solid 14.5 from the bench as well. The team has improvements to make, and it better make them quick against a high-offense team coming off a tough loss.
Next Week: @ PLB Penguins (+19.5)

9th: Attitude City Ninjas (Snoopz): 1-1
Last Week: 7th(-2)
Result: L vs. Cairo Camels (88.5-107.0)
Total Points: 192.0(10th)
Current Streak: L1
-Attitude City ran out of steam this week after a convincing week 1, not having a whole lot for the Cairo Camels. An injury to David Njoku resulted in no points for the TE, and Jason Myers(3) missed a long field goal to give him a lackluster performance. Outside of those two, the team didn’t have any complete zeroes, but also didn’t have any heroes. RB Derrick Henry led the way with 16 points, followed closely by a 15-point outing from Baker Mayfield. WR DaVante Adams(13.5) was respectable as well, but to be honest, there isn’t much else to talk about. The rest of the performance was strictly average. Can they get on track next week, as the favorites over a team who just tied for the most points scored on the week?
Next Week: vs. Moose Nuggets (-5.5)

10th: Louisville Losers (Rellim): 1-1
Last Week: 3rd(-7)
Result: L vs. Moose Nuggets (50.0-123.0)
Total Points: 178.5(11th)
Current Streak: L1
-Sweet Jesus. Talk about a meltdown. The Louisville Losers remembered their name and revolted back to that energy, getting bloodied and battered by Moose Nuggets in the worst blowout of the week. Things didn’t look good from the get-go when Christian McCaffrey(5) had a shockingly dreadful game, and from there, things just never started looking up. Dede Westbrook’s heroic 3-yard catch prevented the team from having any players get shut out, but it made no difference as everybody else scored 7 or fewer points, outside of team leader Carson Wentz(17). Wentz shook off a rocky start and managed to put a decent game together, but he was playing in total garbage time. Last week the Louisville Losers looked like a name change might be in order. After a 78.5 point regression, that may not be the case. This was a shameful performance. They hope to shake it off next week, squaring off against another team who followed up a win with a disappointment.
Next Week: vs. Clown Town Bliggas (-8.0)

11th: Clown Town Bliggas (Burdur): 1-1
Last Week: 6th(-5)
Result: W vs. Seikman (69.0-100.5)
Total Points: 173.5(12th)
Current Streak: L1
-The Clown Town Bliggas did everything they could muster to pull the come-from-behind victory out one week prior. Put in the same position this week…. They fell flat on their faces with a rough performance the entire outing. WR Antonio Brown made his debut with 13 points, while fellow receiver D.J. Moore came away with 12.5 of his own. But outside of a late Le’Veon Bell(15) surge, the rest of this team got nothing going. QB Derek Carr was called out of free agency and flopped with 8 points in his chance to make a statement. Jarvis Landry(4.5) also looked uninspired when they needed him most. Of course, nothing could be as treacherous as the Bengal’s defense who wiped two points away from the total. A truly disappointing showing after a solid opening week. The Bliggas need to find their footing quickly as the open division play over the next two weeks.
Next Week: @ Louisville Losers (+8.0)

12th: Huh’s Red Redskins (Huh): 1-1
Last Week: 16th(+4)
Result: W vs. Merlin Olsen Twins (102.0-63.0)
Total Points: 173.0(13th)
Current Streak: W1
-This is the type of turn-around you like to see. Huh’s Red Redskins got dismantled with the worst week 1 showing, but stayed composed to come back for a beat-down of their own over defending champions Merlin Olsen Twins. What changed? Improvement from 7 out of the 9 starters. Mitchell Trubisky(4) continued his quest to be the worst starting quarterback in the league, and Greg Zuerlein(9) was not given as many chances as he received in week 1, but otherwise everybody else came out angry and ready to turn the season around. WR Calvin Ridley(20) overwhelmed the Philly secondary, RB Ezekiel Elliott(18) set out to prove he was worthy of his contract, and Zach Ertz(13) continued to be one of the best TEs in the game. This was a victory that was well-needed. The Red Redskins have the opportunity to take down an undefeated team this upcoming week.
Next Week: vs. Cairo Camels (-1.5)

13th: The Romie Remission (TJ): 1-1
Last Week: 15th(+2)
Result: W vs. Flex Donovan’s Deal (78.5-69.5)
Total Points: 161.0(15th)
Current Streak: W1
-Last week, The Romie Remission didn’t look too hot. This week….. a bit of the same, but luckily they caught a team doing very poorly as well and managed to capture a victory over Flex Donovan’s Deal. The heavy hitters in this one hit hard; Russell Wilson(24) and Dalvin Cook(25.5) acted as great leaders for a team that looked otherwise disinterested in competing. David Montgomery(12.5) also played respectably, but three players failed to record a single point(one even being negative), and nobody else was eye-popping. Joe Mixon(3.5) doesn’t appear back to form after suffering a minor injury in the opening week and needs to return to form soon to give this team the boost it needs. They travel to a team that really found its footing this last week and wants to go on a run.
Next Week: vs. Ball Fondlers (-1.5)

14th: Leo’s Legendary Team (Leo): 0-2
Last Week: 9th(-5)
Result: L vs. Siekman06 (104.5-123.0)
Total Points: 214.0(6th)
Current Streak: L2
-These Guys can’t seem to catch a break. Over the first two weeks, Leo’s Legendary Team has performed admirably, but came up short due to facing teams that exploded against them. Flip the weeks they faced them, and he would be sitting at 2-0, but instead remains one of only three winless teams. QB Tom Brady(24) tortured the Dolphins, OBJ(25) had a huge 89-yard TD, and Emmanuel Sanders(22.5) caught the rock 11 times. So what went wrong? Unfortunately, the firepower ends there. Rookie TE T.J. Hockenson(0.5) had an ugly crash back to earth after a record-breaking debut, Tarik Cohen(2) got nothing going, and the Chief’s offense scored too many touchdowns, and no attempted field goals, for super-reliable Harrison Butker(4) to have a stellar day. Sadly, this team is admittedly under-ranked due to lack of wins. That should change this next week against a team that is hurting, and hurting badly.
Next Week: vs. Merlin Olsen Twins (-36.5)

15th: Merlin Olsen Twins (Saintpat): 0-2
Last Week: 10th(-5)
Result: L vs. Huh’s Red Redskins (63.0-
Total Points: 167.0(14th)
Current Streak: L2
-Last week when the Clown Town Bliggas stole a sure thing out of Merlin Olsen Twin’s grasp, you had to wonder how they were going to respond; with a fire lit under them, or lit in the whole room with no real escape route. It turns out that they went with the latter, completing unraveling in an embarrassing lost to a team who looked lost in week 1, in Huh’s Red Redskins. What went wrong for Merlin Olsen Twins this week? Outside of WRs Cooper Kupp(14.5) and Juju Smith-Schuster(10.5).... Everything. QB Ben Roethlisberger exited in the second quarter, but only had 3 points on the day at that time. Damien Williams(5.5) also left the game early, but made it to the fourth quarter. Everybody else, outside of highest scorer from the bench in Deebo Samuel(16.5), was unremarkable. This could be a massive Super Bowl hangover, as this team just lost their quarterback for the season and Michael Gallup will miss 2-4 weeks tending to a torn meniscus. If Damien Williams misses any time, this is the start to a bumpy, bumpy season.
Next Week: vs. Leo’s Legendary Team (+36.5)

16th: Ferngully6 (Alex): 0-2
Last Week: 14th(-2)
Result: L vs. Ball Fondlers(46.5-107.0)
Total Points: 138.5(16th)
Current Streak: L2
-Boooooooo. Booooooooooooooo. Boooooooooooooooooooooo. What the hell was that? What in the absolute hell was that atrocity? Ferngully came back from a week 1 loss where they still managed to put up semi-respectable numbers, and followed it up with a soul-sucking blowout that the Miami Dolphins are currently laughing about. There was one bright spot in Raheem Mostert. His 21.5 points really helped FROM THE BENCH. Nobody in the starting line-up reached double figures, including two players in K Adam Vinatieri and QB Drew Brees(due to injury, sadly) costing this team a point apiece, rather than gaining any. I refuse to analyze anything else from this abysmal shit storm. Ferngully has plenty to figure out as it faces this week’s highest scorer in the next outing.
Next Week: @ MexiHawks (+21.0)

DIVISION STANDINGS

EAST:
1. Barn Cows: 2-0, 1-0(2nd)
2. PLB Penguins: 1-1, 0-1(5th)
3. Louisville Losers: 1-1, 0-0(9th)
4. Clown Town Bliggas: 1-1, 0-0(10th)

NORTH:
1. Siekman06: 2-0, 0-0(1st)
2. Attitude City Ninjas: 1-1, 1-0(8th)
3. The Romie Remission: 1-1, 1-1(12th)
4. Flex Donovan’s Deal: 1-1, 0-1(13th)

SOUTH:
1. Cairo Camels: 2-0, 0-0(3rd)
2. Ball Fondlers: 1-1, 1-0(7th)
3. Huh’s Red Redskins: 1-1, 0-0(11th)
4. Ferngully6: 0-2, 0-1(16th)

WEST:
1. MexiHawks: 1-1, 1-0(4th)
2. Moose Nuggets: 1-1, 0-0(6th)
3. Merlin Olsen Twins: 0-2, 0-0(14th)
1. Leo’s Legendary Team: 0-2, 0-1(15th)

(May have messed up the standings. If so I’ll alter them and know how to properly adjust from here on out.)