Can I have an extension? It was my Exams this week and it's been difficult writing my match.

This match has been given a 24 hour extension.

Alpha Kappa Omega are in the ring, the Tri-Delts in the front row basking in their aged college guy ambiance. Then, the dulcet pickings of Leadbelly’s old guitar announce the arrival of their opposition.

Their opponents are from the backwoods of New Brunswick and have a total combined weight of 526 lbs, Cletus the Lumberjack and Big Jim, they are The Logging Crew.

Cletus and Big Jim, on their way to the ring. Their opponents seem pretty calm and collected, do you think it's going to last Joe?

The Logging Crew are a couple of scary sonsabitches Teddy, and it's the first time around the block for the frat brothers inside that ring as a team.

That's true, and the Crew have got the experience factor on their side.

Of course, Jersusalem & Mecca haven't been wrestling in dive bars and legion halls for the last ten years so maybe they're a little more polished.

The Logging Crew stride out into view, Cletus decked in is trademark black watch cap, Mackinaw jacket, and carrying his double-bitted axe, followed by Big Jim wrapped in animal skins and logging chains, and eerily fascinated by his pulp hook.

Look at these guys, they make me want to throw up.

They aren't much to look at...

There's the understatement of the century.

...but they will fight you.

No argument there.

Paying no attention to the decidedly mixed reaction from the crowd, the loggers make their way to the ring and step between the strands. Big Jim eyes the opposition vengefully and sheds the moose skin, while Cletus tugs on the ropes a few times, slaps his upper arms and gets ready to start things off. Big Jim decides to overrule his partner for their last night in XWA and takes center stage first, pitting himself against the Great Malevolence. Jared nods his head towards the larger grappler, but gets a cold stare in return. After getting consent from both corners to start the match up, the official calls for the bell and officially starts the bout. Jerusalem comes out charging full head of steam right towards the opposing corner, sensibly Big Jim steps aside at the last second, cups the back of Double J’s head and tosses his into the turnbuckles. Jared’s back lands squarely against the cloth covered corners and his face contorts in pain.

I don’t care how long you’ve wrestled for, that’s a pain that you can just never get used to.

This is the hardest sport in the world for a reason and that right there is one of them.

The Black Rapids Brute clasps his hands together and raises them over seven feet in the air. After building up some tension in his arms, he slams them down, ramming both of his forearms into Jared’s fragile collar bone, nailing him down into a sitting position. Showing no remorse, Jim puts the sole of his boot directly on the tender collar bone of his downed opponent and grabs a hold of the top rope for stability. With a roar of aggression, the big guy shifts all his weight forward and begins to crush his smaller adversary with the illegal maneuver. Hesitantly, the ref steps and tries to tell Big Jim to disengage and let the collegiate grappler out of the corner, when his plea is fails, the ref begins to start the five count to disqualification.

“ONE- let him go!”
“TWO- I will disqualify you!”
“THREE”

Now, the ref begins to pull at Jims arm, trying to stop him physically, but it’s to no avail, Jim continues to disobey the petite-little ref. Meanwhile, Jersusalem is kicking his feet and flailing his arms around trying to relieve some of the pressure from his neck, but it’s a lot harder than it sounds when you have a man Jim’s size on top of you.

“FOUR, one more and you’re out of here.”

With a smile of satisfaction etched in his mug, Jim finally steps off of Matt and tags his partner in. The Pine Island Powerhouse presses down on the uppermost rope and throws his large, muscular leg over it to enter the squared-circle. Jared is dragged to a vertical base by the hands of the two-man Logging Crew and Irish-whipped across the length of the ring, his weight clashes into the ropes then catapult him back, but not before Mike Mecca is able to reach over and touch his back to tag himself in. Unfortunately for his brother, the tag doesn’t stop the enormous duo from throwing their arms out and flattening the Hypocrite Hunter with the soles of their boots. Jerusalem falls to the canvas holding his face in anguish. Mecca charges at the tag team and shoulder rushes Big Jim, dumping him right over the top rope and to the cold concrete floor. The fans explode with excitement as they watch the logger unceremoniously exit the ring. The violent brother begins to dart over to the other half of the Logging Crew but is stopped by the official.

“Get out of here; I’m not playing with you guys! I will DQ you!”
“WHAT!? I tagged him, I’m legal!”
“No, I didn’t see it!”

When Mike starts to object the ref points at his eyes and tugs on his shirt to remind him about where the power lies in the ring. The fans also voice their objection over the official call in the form of jeers as the Frat master stomps across the ring and exits.

If the ref doesn’t see it then it didn’t happen.

As Jared begins to push himself up to a vertical base, he is toppled over onto his back with a soccer kick right to the abdomen. Jersusalem tries his best to crawl over to his corner and tag his fresh partner, but his dreams are shattered when the heavyweight lumberjack grabs him by his boot and drags him to the center of the ring. Cletus hunches over and grabs JJ by his skull to start pulling him to his feet. Jared throws a tightly balled fist straight into the big man’s family jewels. Just as Cletus bends over to hold his tenderized nuggets, Double J steps up to his feet and brings his knee right into the temple of the Lumberjack, knocking him to his side. Jared darts to his partner tags him in and together they both go to town with some furious stomps- trying to do as much damage as they can to the big man before he gets back to his feet. The hands-on ref grabs Jersusalem from behind and tears him away from his downed adversary, evicting him from the ring.

That’s what AKO have to do: quick tags and double teaming when they can; use the quickness against the bigger and slower lumberjacks.

Logging Crew Teddy…the Logging Crew; you heard how mad the get. I don’t want those guys over here because they hear you.

They are lumberjacks Joe, so calling them….it doesn’t matter, the point is that Mike & Jared are wrestling smart.

That they are, but honestly it doesn’t take much to confuse Cletus. Whatever brains he’s got have to be just about scrambled after all those kicks.

The flurry of boots leaves Cletus scrambling to clear the cobwebs. He gets to all fours, but gets a kick in the gut for his trouble. The burly brawler rolls onto his back, cradling his solar plexus, while the man from the AKO hops to the second turnbuckle, and jumps down, driving his fist into his opponent's head. Dazed, Cletus is easy prey. Mike sits on either side of the fallen logger, scissoring one of his massive arms. Mecca then grabs hold of the wrist of that same arm and pulls it upwards, causing hyperextension of the shoulder and elbow and drawing forth a feral howl from the woodsman. Cletus bites his lip and contorts his face, much to the disgust of the female audience members. From the corners comes encouragement, as Jared Jerusalem urges his brother to increase the torque on Cletus’ arm, while Big Jim only shouts epithets meant to fire the blood of his partner. The man in zebra stripes steps in, asking if Cletus is going to knuckle under. The Brute of Bonnie Beaubears Isle spits a fat wad of phlegm in the ref’s general direction and claims the official’s sister prostitutes herself for negligible sums of money, in so many words. At length, the brawny birler grits his teeth and drags himself and Mike to the ropes, freeing himself, but at some cost. Mecca holds the arm until the count of three and then makes the tag, bringing Jerusalem in. The two men make use of the five count, as Double J winds up Cletus’ arm, bringing him to a vertical base, while the violent brother drops an elbow on the exposed limb before being ushered to the outside.

I’ll give it to Cletus, he’s ugly but he’s strong.

You’d best believe it, that elbow drop could have easily broken a lesser man’s arm.

Well, let’s not get carried away…

When was the last time you had an elbow dropped on you Joe?

As the lumberman stumbles away, in a vain effort to reach his corner, Jared grabs his opponent's arm, and, holding it across his chest, falls backwards, dropping Cletus’ face against the canvas, as well as further damaging the arm and shoulder. Looking to drop another bomb on the wounded whistle punk, the Self-Professed Savior flings himself into the strands, but makes the cardinal error of forgetting where he’s at in the ring, allowing Big Jim to pull down the top rope and send the man from Albion tumbling to the outside. The man in charge points an accusing finger at the twisted timber slayer, who makes no effort to defend his actions. The official starts the count and Jim channels his sportsmanship enough to drop to the floor, looking to throw the Piece of Eden into the already rallying Cletus. Luck isn’t on his side though, as Mecca runs to his cohort’s defense, planting a knee into Jim’s back and forcing a collision with the ring post. Quickly assessing the extent of the count, Mike has no choice but to roll his partner back in to avoid the count-out finish.

That’s what you have to avoid right there if you're the AKO, Jim was smart enough to force Mike to make the tough call, send his man in hurt or risk the count-out.

Big Jim might be a little smarter than Cletus, and he isn’t quite as ugly, but you’ll need a lot more hair and a longer face to attract that guy.

The only man standing in the ring begins to count again, but it isn’t long before both Jared and Cletus are on their knees and about ready to go. The former champion tries to regain the initiative with a flood of stiff shots, but the River Forks Rambler weathers them and replies with a blatant eye gouge. Ignoring the official’s reproofs, he rears back and headbutts his foe, buckling Jared’s knees and causing him to crumble. Cletus now digs in a shoulder claw, looking to catch his wind and remembering the collarbone damage Jim did earlier. The punishment his own arm has taken is too great though, and he can’t get the downward pressure he wants. In exasperation, he gives up, plants a kick to Jerusalem’s back and tags Jim. As Jared rises, he’s subjected to the Logging Crew’s specialty, a double helping of double axe handles. As Cletus is shooed to the apron, shaking his arm violently in order to regain blood-flow, Jim straddles one of his opponent's legs, then reaches over Matt's near arm and locks it. Squatting and twisting to the side, Jim flexes the Malevolence’s back and stretches the abdomen. The abdominal stretch, aimed at exacerbating the damage done by the axe handles, is barely on a minute, before Mecca charges head long into the fray to liberate his compatriot. Jim is dropped to a knee by another frenzied shot to the lower lumbar area, and Mike retreats to his corner, his arms raised in acquiescence to the referee’s chiding. Back in the ring, Jim goes to turn over a recumbent Jerusalem, only to get caught in a desperate small package pinning combination. The referee, out of position, and almost as blindsided as Jim himself, only manages to make a two count, but a cheer erupts from the masses at the thought that the AKO nearly pulled off an upset.

Jim, embarassed, uses his raw power to rag-doll Jared Jerusalem around the ring. After a stiff punch to the jaw, he clasps his callused hands around his opponent's throat and tosses Jerusalem into the corner adjacent to his own; the onslaught continues, a flurry of open hand slaps to the chest and closed hand punches to the face sends Jared reeling. JJ struggles with his adversary; he puts up an arm in defense, and actually manages to parry a few blows. He jabs a punch and catches Jim squarely on the chin then shoves his opponent and makes a desperate scramble for his corner. Without giving it much thought, Jim reaches out and grabs Jared and flings him back into the corner. Doule J tries again to escape the corner but at this time is met with a very stern and discouraging kick to the face. Jared replies by spitting in Jim's face. Jim laughs, only for a moment... and resumes his cold, empty, and malicious glare. He tucks his elbow, and throws one last solid punch; that satisfying *pop* of a hit landing cleanly echo’s through the venue, Jared buckles, and before the sound of that punch can reach the nosebleed section, slumps...down into the corner.

Just brutal, almost unnecessarily so; Jared Jerusalem is as tough as they come, but I don't know many men that can take that kind of a hit. Big Jim put all of his weight behind that punch.

He desperately needs a tag. The AKO are dangerously close to losing the match.

Don't count them out just yet, Jared is tougher then he looks. It's a tight spot with the Logging Crew thoroughly in control, but these two can still put up a fight.

Jim hooks his hands around his opponent's head, and lifts him to his feet. He takes him by the wrist and propels him towards the ring ropes. In a reckless moment, however, Jim inadvertently tosses his shaken opponent within arm’s reach of his partners helping hand. As Jared barrels toward Mecca, Mike reaches out just quick enough to forcefully shove his partner out of harm’s way, Jared falls to the canvas and eventually rolls out of the ring. The ref sees this and acknowledges that a tag has been made...Mecca is once again the legal man!

He got it! Jared is tagged rather unconventionally, and now Mike Mecca is in.

That might have been the game-changing play of the day right there. Big Jim might have just done the most costly Irish-Whip in XWA history.

As Mike pops into the ring quickly, Jim lumbers toward him and throws a lobbing haymaker, but Mecca utilizes his superior quickness and easily dodges the blow. He darts past Jim and gets behind him, from there he wraps his arms around the Timber-Chucking Maniac's waist and attempts a German Suplex, but he telegraphs and Jim hooks his leg around Mecca's and counters. Jim then slams the back of his head into Mike's face and escapes the belly to back hold. From there, Jim turns and kicks the AKO Master in the abdomen, takes a handful of his trunks, and reels him in for the piledriver. Mecca cusps his hands in the pits of Jim's knees and jerks them forward, causing his opponent to fall backward to the ground. Mike then takes the momentarily disabled woodsman by the foot and starts to apply pressure to his ankle. Jim pivots to his side and uses the resulting momentum to kick his ankle free. Mecca only sees another opportunity however, and before Jim can get up, he darts down onto him and pounces on his leg. He seats himself on Jim's lower back and arcs his leg upward bending it at the knee. Mike applies the single leg Boston Crab with expert skill.

Just like that, the collegiate duo are back in this fight.

Mecca is fighting with veteran like precision thus far; every breath is a calculated measure, and there is no wasted movement.

Big Jim is starting to feel the pressure of the Crab-Hold. Though the maneuver was applied awkwardly while he was still somewhat on his side, this only serves to magnify Mecca's near-expert application of the move. Jim is in the center of the ring, and he is running out of options, so he does what any sensible two-hundred fifty pound man would do, he begins to physically drag himself and his opponent toward the ring ropes. Mike, the lighter man, tries to force Jim into submission but the birler is just too strong. Before long, Big Jim is inches away from the ropes, reaches out and just barely gets his fingers around the middle strand. He uses his reserves of strength to pull himself in closer to the ropes. The official demands that Mecca break the hold, but Mike refuses. He leans back locking the hold in even tighter and the ref begins the count. Jim isn't going to wait for the official however, and, using the ropes as leverage, he extends his leg and chucks Mecca the air and onto the canvas. Mike sprawls out face-down on the canvas and lays there for just a while, as Jim uses the ropes and begins to hobble to his feet. Mike has also come to a standing position, and seeing that Jared is back in action gives him a little nod, which his brother acknowledges this with a smirk. Without any hesitation Jerusalem runs along the apron at full speed, and hits Jim squarely in the jaw. Jim clutches his face and stumbles backward, finding Mecca ready to connect with the Jaw-Breaker. Jim's eyes roll back and he falls limp to the ground. Mecca walks over to his corner and tags Jared who immediately climbs to the top rope, the crowd goes wild in anticipation of the high stakes maneuver, and, without giving it a second thought, the crazy son of a bitch leaps off and connects with the flying Senton. Jared rolls over clutching his back, still tender from the assault that he suffered earlier. After a moment, he sticks his thumb up into the air and receives a raucous round of applause from the crowd. Cletus has seen enough, he enters the ring and charges. At the sight of this, Mecca rejoins the fray and both men collide and fall to the canvas.

With all four men in the ring, this is disintegrating quickly.

The official throws up his hands in exasperation before laying the count on Mike and Cletus. The larger man gets to his knees and waves off the count, prompting the man in stripes to usher Meccafrom the ring. Meanwhile, Jared Jerusalem looks like newborn calf, his legs quivering as he regains a vertical base, only to have Cletus, making use of the momentarily occupied referee, grab hold of his arm and haul him helplessly into a tree trunk of plaid. The Clear-Cut clothesline turns Violence inside out, and the pine island powerhouse quickly drags the bleary form of the perverse pulp peeler on top of the Hypocrite Hunter, before sliding out of the ring. The official spots the pin and falls to the mat instantly, slapping the mat twice before Jerusalem rolls the shoulder, eliciting a huge sigh from the crowd and a number of expletives from the Logging Crew.

Sneaky Cletus….maybe the big man isn’t as stupid as he looks.

I doubt it, but every dog has its day. Cletus, you hideous creature, this could be yours…woof.

Big Jim slaps his face a few times and gives the side of his head a good hard swat before trying to get his legs under him. He shuffles over to his corner and makes the tag, slumping into the mat and rolling to the outside thereafter. As Cletus enters, Jared makes a desperate bound for his partner, still very fuzzy and only somewhat aware of his place in the ring. The Beaubear bruiser grasps him by the ankles and, for all his wriggling, the grip of the woodsman holds firm. Cletus parts the legs and falls forward, landing a headbutt that looks a little low. Jared’s face seems to give away as much, but the striped arbitrator makes no sign of intervening. Confident that he has his opposite just where he wishes, Cletus begins to scale the near corner, intent upon raining his anger upon his supine foe.

Up in the high rent district, we don’t see Cletus here too much.

That’s because moose don’t climb trees Teddy.

Proving that any new idea Cletus has is likely a bad one, he takes a touch too long finding his proper perch, and, as a result the Self-Professed Saviour gets to his feet only to fall against the ropes, in turn causing Cletus to stumble, fall and ensure he’ll be singing falsetto in the showers this evening. Sitting astride the bolt that affixes the buckle to the post, the logger is in prime position, and the recently resuscitated middleweight misses little time in scrambling up to meet his heavier opponent. Jared slaps on a front face lock, draping the lumberjack's near arm over his shoulder, and falls backwards executing a superplex that has the fans on their feet and the flashbulbs firing. Once again, he gives the adoring throng a thumb in the air, before waddling on his knees toward his corner and the bringing in a fresh man.

Jerusalem delights the fans and maybe puts a nail in Cletus’ coffin. That superplex has got to take plenty outta him.

Mecca strides into the ring, a look of confidence on his face, as Cletus squirms on the ground, his appendages seemingly outside his control. The violent brother raises his boot and brings it crashing down upon the lumberman’s left arm, seemingly looking to continue what he began with the arm bar earlier in the bout. Yet, he does not stop there, stomping down on the left side of the chest, then the left portion of the stomach, upper leg, lower leg, and completing the circuit up the right side of Cletus’s body, as the Canadian quivers with every blow. Finally, he plants his foot firmly down upon the jaw, and the Beaubears Island native’s mouth lolls open, coughing and sputtering. With the birler wounded, Mike tags Jared back in. Before leaving, the man from Blackpool grabs his opponent, turns him upside-down, and holds him in an inverted position, while his sibling mounts the ropes just long enough to come off and spike the piledriver.

Excedrin headache #5 right there; a spike piledriver won’t do much for Cletus’ looks, but it could give the Logging Crew its first loss in a long while.

Could be Joe, but I think they’ve still got something in the tank. Those heads are pretty tough.

And pretty empty…

With Cletus down, and potentially out, Jerusalem hazards a cover, but comes up with a two-count and chorus of boos from the crowd, who had hoped the match was over there. Big Jim doesn’t bat an eyelash on the apron, seemingly retaining supreme confidence in his partner. JJ aims to test that faith as he coaxes the whistle punk to his feet, and as his adversary complies he’s hit with a standing drop kick. Cletus sways and plants his feet, determined not to pitch over backward, but he’s hit with another dropkick hot on the heels of the first. As Jared prepares to deliver the third in the trio, and by far the hardest, the brute of bonnie Beaubears falls like one the majestic island pines, causing his lighter assailant to cruise harmlessly over him. Jared’s a touch shaken by this and rather than push his luck, he opts to call upon the fresh man. Mecca re-enters the fray and plays it a little dirty by applying a blatant choke. The officials reprimand is ignored until the count of four, but the AKO chief is still subject to a tongue lashing afterward, how ever much he tries to ignore it. For the latest time, Cletus is back on his feet, but Mike is intent on putting him down once again. His running charge at the woozy wood-chucker is cut short when the big man snatches him up in a bearhug, quite to the surprise of one and all.

What did I tell ya? There’s fight in the Logging Crew yet.

His mammoth arms squeezing the two-hundred-pounder, and his bearded visage pressed firmly to his chest, against any offence, Cletus grinds and sucks wind at the same time. With each gasp his grip grows tighter and the fog of pain begins to dissipate just as the lights grow slightly dimmer for the man in black and silver. At length, a firm Irish whip sends Mecca to the buckle and Cletus makes a charge of his own. Mike wants to move, but finds that the only thing holding him back is Big Jim. Tied to the tracks, the Ferry Road Freight Train runs Mecca over in a fierce avalanche. Cletus then dips his shoulder, rams it home into the solar plexus and makes the tag.

Mecca is in a world of hurt, but you have to know he’s thinking of how to get out of this.

He’s got a veteran’s experience in a young man’s body. That said, that body is getting older by the minute in there with the likes of Cletus & Big Jim

The Logging Crew fire Mecca into the strands, only to have him sent back. They lock arms and lift their boots and Mike’s run is cut short and his face collides with the shoe leather and what’s behind it. Over the protests of the official, Cletus lifts up the limp Briton, and hooks his arms. Big Jim gives a wink to Jared on the apron as he winds up to deliver what is sure to be a knockout blow. However, Mecca is playing possum and drops out of the way at the last moment. Jim hits Cletus such a clout that the latter careens to the far ropes, his body twisting in such a way that his head is caught between the first and second strand. Lo and behold, who stands close by but Jared Jerusalem, who sweeps Cletus’ legs and lets him hang, all the while returning Jim’s wink.

My God! All two hundred eighty-something pounds pulling down on the neck of Cletus, and those ropes have no give when they’re wrapped around your throat.

His face is turning colour Teddy... Actually…it might be considered an improvement…

After a chilling moment, Cletus manages to escape, with the aid of the official, and falls to the concrete floor to lick his wounds. Meanwhile, Big Jim takes on both members of AKO by himself. Mecca and Jerusalem trade blows with the burly beast of of the Black Rapids, and soon overwhelm him. He’s cast into the ropes and sent back into a pair of raised boots, which mash his mush. Jared continues the onslaught, amidst the chastisement of Jack Hammer, urging him to remove himself from the ring. On the outside, Mike looks to find Cletus and return him to the fray. Slumped against the ringpost, the lumberman looses a blinding flash when Mike turns him around. The fireball leaves Mecca squirming and sightless, while Cletus re-enters the ring. The official is determined to gain control of this one, not let it end in a DQ that pleases no one. As Jared checks on the state of his brother, once more lifting him to his feet, the man in stripes takes a look at the Logging Crew, who vehement protest innocence. As the ref starts to count Mecca out of the ring, Jared is left with the choice of sacrificing his brother to prolong the match in the hopes of winning, or live to fight another day. Knowing Mike Mecca is a fighter, he rolls him inside. Big Jim drags the sightless Mike to a corner and begins to lay in more punishment, while Jared shouts encouragement and strains vainly to make a tag. Jim offers a hand to Cletus, who enters the ring once more. Both loggers cross the ring and lower the boom on Jared Jerusalem, their fists pumping like a fiddler's elbow. A look between the two birlers is enough to signal the perverse pulp peeler to drag the man to the corner and lace his chains around Eden’s legs, binding them to the post.

What’s this? He’s chaining him to the post!

You’re very observant, aren’t you? They just want to make sure this ends here.

Turning their collective attention to Mecca, the Logging Crew begin to close in. The lethargic grappler makes a valiant effort to defend himself however, his eyes having evidently cleared somewhat. Cletus is on the receiving end of a foot to the face, which sends him stumbling. Jim goes for a leg, but gets caught in a small package that nearly steals the match as a confused official makes the count. Cletus now drops an elbow on Mecca and wearily drapes Mike’s leg around his neck, and plants a knee across the shoulders, bowing the frat master’s body outward like a young sapling. Cletus screams, demanding that his opponent give up. Jared Jerusalem struggles with the links that bind him, but Jim is at hand to drop a leg to settle him down. Then he gets close and whispers of tortures yet to come if he doesn't concede the match immediately. Mike is howling in pain and the ref, seeing this match out of his control and perhaps afraid of the departing Logging Crew, is idle. The brawny Beaubearian keeps the pressure on, along with the encouragement for Mike to quit. Big Jim begins stomping on Mike’s head and then applies the Pulp Hook before the official can watch no more and forcibly removes him. Unable to stand his brorther's tortured screams any longer however, Jared grabs a ring towel and casts it into the centre of the canvas