Drake Dysfunction's arms are crossed, not sure what to make of his opponent tonight. He had heard the stories, supposedly of Tyler Lawson running around in a Pirate outfit, but now he had to deal with this oddity himself. Is it really Lawson? They'd never met in the ring before, so it's hard to tell who exactly the man hopping around from left foot to right foot across the ring from him. Regardless, it's all about the tournament right now. Regardless of opponent, both men are gunning for the points.

DING DING DING!!!

At the sound of the bell, The Pirate extends both of his hands for a lockup. Still apprehensive, Drake is reluctant, but eventually obliges, sticking his hands out as if going for a test of strength. Bad idea. Pirate immediately grabs his opponent by the left wrist and ducks around him. He swings around Dysfunction, dropping to his knees in the process. After the captain gets his left arm back behind Drake's right, he leans forward as hard as he can, completing the surprise Backslide to open the bout. Drake is caught completely off guard, and it seems that Pirate is about to steal something else tonight, this time, a victory.....one.....two.....no! Drake manages to manage to roll backwards out of the pin in the nick of time. Standing up as quick as he can, the New Evolution backs into the corner to get away from his opponent, but Bloom, continuing his early string of offense, pops back to his feet and rushes over after him. The captain jumps up, digging his boots into the thighs of his opponent, and in one fluid motion, drops back and throws Drake with a Monkey Flip.

The fans are all over Pirate's early strategy, but after Dysfunction's back hits the mat, he's clearly not amused by the trickery. Rolling onto all fours and grabbing his lower spine, Drake glares angrily at his opponent, who is rolling himself out to the apron. As Pirate pulls himself up with the ropes, the self-proclaimed Gatekeeper sees what must coming and starts to formulate a plan to avoid it. As Pirate is waiting for his opponent to stand, Drake obliges, pulling himself to his feet. Once ready, Bloom pulls back on the ropes and launches himself up top, coming off toward Dysfunction and looking for a Springboard Clothesline. Drake's got him scouted, however, and quickly ducks and rolls forward out of the way of the move. The crowd's heat goes soft as Pirate connects with nothing but air. After quickly popping back onto his feet, Drake leans into the ropes and sends himself back off toward his opponent. Pirate manages to catch himself well, landing on all fours after the miss, but he stands back up only for Drake to slide around him, grab his head from behind, and pull the crafty privateer down to the mat with a hard Neckbreaker.

"Ouch, and 'enough of that' says Drake Dysfunction!"

"Well it serves the Butt Pirate right after trying to underhandedly steal the match to begin with."

Drake pulls himself to his feet as The Pirate holds the back of his head. Dysfunction raises his hands into the air to play to the crowd, and they respond with a sprinkling of boos, to which he responds with a scowl. He turns back to Pirate, who has rolled onto his side. After rolling his head around and finalizing his current gameplan, Drake reaches down to pull his opponent up. Once Bloom is on his feet, Dysfunction shoves him under into a Front Facelock. He reaches forward to grab the leg, and with a great heave, throws Pirate back with a Fisherman's Suplex. The captain immediately sits up after impact, grimacing in response to the repeated moves targeting his upper back. Drake doesn't give him any breather though, as he puts a hand on Pirate's chest, pushes him back down to the mat, and climbs on top to hook the leg for a cover.....one.....tw-kickout. Pirate quickly rolls off onto his side and grabs the ropes after getting out of that, preventing Drake from trying another pin.

Drake hops back up to his feet, stepping over to the ropes to keep on his opponent. Pirate is starting to pull himself to his knees, so Dysfunction saves him the trouble and hoists Bloom the rest of the way. Pulling him up however is all part of the plan to wear him down, as Drake follows up with a sharp kick to the midsection, doubling Pirate right back over. He almost drops to a knee, but not before Drake quickly gets under the captain and picks him right up on his shoulders. Giving up nearly 30 pounds on his opponent, Dysfunction does struggle somewhat with carrying around The Pirate, but manages to back up into the center of the ring. After pulling his opponent's legs back a bit, he pushes Pirate off forward, looking to hit the D-5, but it seems he takes too long, as Bloom sticks his feet down and lands on them as Drake falls on his ass. Clearly in the advantageous position, Pirate wastes no time in rearing back and plastering his opponent with a boot to the face.

"Pirate...lands on his feet...OH what a kick out of nowhere!"

"God damn, that one fucking hurt ME!"

Drake's head snaps back and smacks off the canvas, while Pirate's momentum sends him falling into the ropes. After catching himself and getting balanced, he looks over at his opponent. Drake's been knocked loopy, and his head rolls back and forth from side to side on the mat. Knowing it'll be quite a bit harder to get him up in this state, Pirate instead elects for a ground move. After backing over to the corner, Bloom runs forward, tucks his arms in, and leaps up, landing right on Dysfunction's midsection with a Senton. Sliding off into a seated position, he cracks his neck a bit before leaning back over his opponent and hooking the leg.....one.....Drake kicks out at one and a half. He may have been knocked for a loop, but he still knows where he is, and his instincts force his shoulder up as quick as possible. Pirate, sitting up, ponders his next move for a moment. With Dysfunction not fully all there still, he decides his best move is another pin attempt. However this time, he rolls onto all fours and quickly pushes Drake into the same position. After trapping his opponent's right arm with his legs, Pirate reaches over, hooks the left arm with his own, and rolls forward into a Crucifix Pin. He gets both shoulders down.....one.....two.....Kickout just before three!

Drake rolls to the apron quickly, knowing much more of this will be his undoing. As he slowly starts to pull himself to his feet, seemingly back to his senses after that vicious kick, Pirate pops back to his feet, waving his arms up into the air to rile the crowd up. They immediately come back to life, starting up the familiar chant of "Pi-rate! Pi-rate!" as he smirks off into the distance. Turning, he sees Dysfunction, almost at his feet, and decides to go after him. Once he gets over near him, the Gatekeeper quickly lunges out and shoves him away. Bloom, taken aback and startled by this, stumbles backward, but quickly regains his footing. Drake starts inching his way toward the corner, but Pirate is having none of that right now. He lunges in hard, connecting with a swift forearm to the side of the head, which sends his opponent staggering back, almost falling off the apron. However, he manages to hold on to the top rope with one hand. This might not have been a good thing, though, as the captain quickly grabs Dysfunction by the wrist. After pushing him as far down, away from the rope as he can, Pirate jerks back, swinging his opponent up and effectively Arm Dragging him over the ropes. Drake lands with a thud flat on his back, and Pirate is right back in control.

"Dammit Drake you fucking loser! Don't let the Closet Gay push you around!"

"I thought he was the Butt Pirate."

"They're the same fucking person you retard! Am I the only person who can see this?"

As Joey Miles loses his mind on commentary, Pirate turns to the corner and begins to step up onto it. Slowly, he scales the ropes, getting his balance on the top as Drake lays in the center of the ring, holding his head. Bloom looks back, to make sure that his opponent is still there. Dysfunction doesn't look like he's moving any time soon, so Pirate leaps back, flipping down onto his opponent with a Moonsault. Drake's hands shoot from his head to his midsection as Pirate's momentum takes him back onto his knees, but the captain quickly lays back on top and hooks the leg.....one.....two.....kickout! Drake barely stays alive. Pirate rolls off and sits up, a little miffed that he didn't get it there, but knows he just has to keep up the offense and anyone'll go down eventually. As Drake rolls onto his stomach, Pirate pushes himself back up and reaches down toward his opponent. While pulling him up, Pirate cinches his arm around Dysfunction's jaw, so by the time the New Evolution has reached his feet, Bloom can very easily lock in a Sleeper. The sudden pressure jolts the groggy Drake back to his senses, and he immediately begins flailing his arms around, trying somehow to get out.

Quickly, Dysfunction starts practically swimming toward the ropes, trying any way he can to break the hold. Pirate tries his hardest to hold his ground, but as Drake consistently makes progress toward that rope break, Bloom is forced to change his tactics. He releases his throttle hand and quickly hooks up Drake's left arm. Once that's secure he quickly does the same with his right, releasing the grip on the neck and instead locking in a Full Nelson. But he's not using it as a submission move; he's going for the High Seas Suplex. Something about Pirate's movements tips it off to his opponent though, as when he plants his feet to attempt the throw, Drake hooks his foot around the ankle, blocking the attempt. Pirate pulls up, to no avail. Drake isn't budging, and with an opportunity, Dysfunction wastes no time capitalizing, planting both his hands on top of Pirate's head and sitting out, connecting with a crafty Jawbreaker. Pirate is stunned, and staggers backwards, eventually falling over onto his ass on the other side of the ring.

"Now that was a nice counter right there."

"Yeah! Keep it up! Kick his ass!"

Finally having time to breathe, Drake grabs the middle rope and slowly pulls himself back up. Pirate tries to get the cobwebs out of his head in time to get back on the offensive, but he can't. Drake gets to his feet, although hunched over, but turns to see his opponent still regaining his footing. As Pirate turns his attention to him, the Gatekeeper immediately rushes forward, taking his opponent out by surprise with the Gore. The fans let out a collective "OOOOOHHHH" after that one. Pirate crumples back to the mat, clutching his ribs, and Dysfunction's momentum makes him stumble under the ropes and nearly takes him out to the floor. However, he stops himself on the apron, and slowly begins to pull himself back up with the ropes on the outside. Bloom rolls around in the middle of the ring, feeling the effects of that Gore. Drake doesn't have much weight behind that move, but he still comes at you like a missile. As he favors his midsection, Dysfunction continues to pull himself up.

Once back on his feet, using the top rope to steady himself, Drake makes his way to the corner and begins to climb. Pirate, still holding his ribs, starts to get up himself, having a much easier time than his opponent, but still a bit ginger about it. Both men reach their feet at the same time. Pirate on the mat, Dysfunction on the top rope. As Drake balances himself on the top, the captain sees him up there. Knowing that a high-risk move is easy to take heavy advantage of, he runs straight toward that same corner, trying to disrupt him in some way. Drake sees him coming, though, and as Bloom jumps up onto the middle rope, Dysfunction's foot is right there to meet him. Pirate takes the kick right to the cheek, and it nearly sends him falling, but he manages to hang on with his right hand. This might not have been the wisest of decisions on his part though. Upon seeing that his opponent it's going down, Drake grabs the head of The Pirate and pulls it close to him. After smirking out to the crowd a bit, he leaps forward, bringing Pirate with him and planting him with a vicious Dysfunction Factor off the top!

"Mah Gawd what a move!"

"Yes! That's it! It's over! Pin him! Pin his ass already!"

Dysfunction, having landed flush on his ass, leans forward, holding his tailbone gingerly. Meanwhile, Pirate writhes around holding his face after having it smacked off the mat. After a few seconds of recovery, Drake realizes he should  go for the pin and does just that, rolling Pirate over and leaning over him to hook the leg.....one.....two...no! Pirate throws his shoulder up. Drake is upset after that one, angrily pushing off and up to his feet. Still feeling the effects of that landing, he staggers back into the corner before walking back over to Pirate. Having sat up, the captain doesn't see his opponent come up behind him, so he is easily brought to stand up when Drake crabs him under the arms. Quickly, Dysfunction turns Bloom around and shoves his head under. Standing in that position, he raises both fists in 45 degree angles to either side and shouts out something incomprehensible, leading nearly everyone to believe that he's looking to end the match right here. The fans start to boo in reaction. However, as he bends down to pick Pirate up for the D-2, the bigger man powers out of it, instead quickly standing up and dumping Dysfunction behind him with a Back Body Drop.

The crowd goes nuts again in support of The Pirate as he stumbles forward to catch his balance. After landing flat on his back, Drake immediately rolls to his stomach to alleviate the pain not only in his tailbone, but also in his upper back from earlier in the match. Pirate walks over to his opponent at Dysfunction slowly starts to push himself up. Reaching down, Bartholomew grabs Drake's wrist and pulls him up, quickly transitioning to an Irish Whip. Drake comes off the ropes, only for Pirate to leap up and nearly take his head off with a Leg Lariat. As Drake's back smacks off the mat once again, Pirate quickly falls on top of him for another cover.....one.....two.....no! Drake grabs the bottom rope and the referee is forced to stop the count. Pirate shakes his head. He should have had it there. Slowly, he rolls out to the outside. This surprisingly physical match has taken a bit of a toll on him, so it takes him a while to get back to his feet and climb the turnbuckles yet again. Meanwhile, Drake also starts to roll around, eventually finding a rope to pull himself up as well.

"What's The Pirate going for here?"

"Something stupid, for sure."

Once Pirate reaches the top rope, he starts to play up to the crowd. Like he usually does during his entrance, he pulls out an imaginary sword from his belt and brandishes it high into the air. This should lead everyone to believe that he's going for the Flying Pirate, but he doesn't get the chance. With a burst of energy, Drake sees Pirate wasting time up top, and tries to take advantage by charging over and leaping up onto the top rope. After getting his balance, he hooks The Pirate up, rears down, and leaps...Pirate pushes Drake off of him at the last second! The D-4 fails, and Dysfunction flips though the air only to land flat on his stomach. He recoils, letting out a groan as he curls up and rolls onto his back. Meanwhile, Pirate stabilizes himself on the top rope. The cheer from the crowd grows a bit as he sizes up his opponent. With nothing to stop him this time, he leaps off, flying through the air before dropping the elbow right into the chest of Drake Dysfunction.

Pirate rolls off to the side in a heap as Drake writhes and squirms around in pain. Bloom sits up in the corner, clearly tired, but he knows he's gotta finish the job. He almost just cost himself the match wasting time; he can't afford to do it again. After "arr"ing to himself, he reaches up and grabs the ropes with each hand, struggling to pull himself back up once again. As Drake presses his hands into his sternum, Pirate pulls himself up and stumbles forward, just barely catching himself before falling on top of him. After leaning down, the captain leans down and grabs his opponent around the arms. Dysfunction tries his darnedest to stay down, but in the state he's in after that fall and Elbow Drop, he has no choice but to let himself be pulled up. With Drake on wobbly legs, Pirate hooks him up, looks around, and takes a deep breath. He hoises his opponent into the air, circles around, hooks the other arm and BAM, the Tidal Wave connects again. The fans erupt as Drake's face smacks off the canvas. Pirate has little trouble rolling him over and making the cover.....one.....two.....three!!! Pirate picks up the points.

DING DING DING!!!