With the fans in the Van Andel arena awaiting the next bit of action live from XWA, it doesn't take long until the lights darken, and the Grand Rapid fans are left in darkness for some moments. A really familiar guitar riff kicks in on the PA system, and the riff keeps going, soon joined by a low humdrum of voices all trying to hum to the beat. The humdrum gets louder, the riff kicking up another notch or two as well, until about thirty seconds the drums kick in as well.
THUNDER!
THUNDER!
This continues for a few more moments, the beat of 'Thunderstruck' by ACDC echoing throughout the arena, until the gravelly voice of Brian Johnson kicks in. The fans keep watching closely, waiting to see who will be arriving. A heavier drum beat kicks in, and then the noise dies down slightly and Johnson's voice manages to speak out again.
YOU'VE BEEN....
There’s a moments pause, during which the drums kick into high gear and the bass hits. A loud crackling thunder is heard throughout the arena as well, as Johnson's voice screams out.
THUNDER STRUCK!
A loud crackling lightning bolt spears down hitting the stage, sand setting off sparks and some smoke. The smoke slowly thickens even more as Thunderstruck keeps playing. After another 30 seconds or so, with the smoke still swirling around the stage, some more Thunder can be heard crackling throughout the arena, and through the smoke, as the music hits high gear walks a long haired blonde man. Dressed in blue tights, with The Southern Cross on both pant legs, and a glittering Australian Flag as a cape, the man doesn't stop at the top of the ramp, instead throwing both arms out wide and roaring loudly, while the thunder starts crackling even louder. The man starts strutting down the ramp, arms wide and spinning occasionally to proudly show off his flag. Inside the ring, Laura Watts steps forward
---|| RING ANNOUNCER || LAURA WATTS ||---
“Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing on his XWA Debut! Standing in at Six feet Five Inches tall, weighing Two Hundred and Fifty Pounds, and hailing from Melbourne, Australia, he is The ANZAC Warrior, L....J....SUMMERS!!
As he reaches the ring Summers slowly strolls up the ring steps, pacing across the apron and stopping to turn his back to the crowd, showing off his flag once more. After a moment he leaps over the top rope and into the ring, and starts to slowly circle, his arms extended and the smirk in place on his face. After a long few moments, LJ strolls over to Laura Watts, taking the microphone off her and then waving her from the ring. Laura steps out and LJ turns to look out at the fans, pausing in the center of the ring to adjust his cape and make sure its snug across his shoulders before he calmly raises his microphone.
---|| THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER || LJ SUMMERS ||---
“G'Day Grand Rapids! How the bloody hell are ya?”
The reaction isn't very loud, and is semi-mixed. Some fans happy for the cheap pop, others just wanting to see the big names already. After a moment, LJ sneers and re-raises his microphone.
---|| THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER || LJ SUMMERS ||---
“See, that’s just the kind of apathetic reaction I'd expect from an arena full of donut-eating fat bastards. If you could hold your focus for more then one second through your cheeto dust covered eyes, you might recognise that true greatness has arrived in this arena.”
LJ pauses now, and Grand Rapids finally seems to be responding, a slightly louder cascade of jeers coming down. After another moment, LJ re-raises his mike with a smirk.
---|| THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER || LJ SUMMERS ||---
“And I don't mean Greatness as in my wrestling skills, Because while I am a GOOD wrestler, what truly makes me great, is that unlike you dough-filled sweat buckets, I am AUSTRALIAN and that instantly makes me greater then every single one of you seat-filling monkey spankers.”
Again LJ pauses momentarily, and again he's greeted by a slowly growing level of jeers. Some people still seem to be holding back, not really knowing what to make of LJ yet, and some are using the new guy's introduction as a toilet break. Go Figure. Summers waits a moment longer before re-raising his mike.
---|| THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER || LJ SUMMERS ||---
“You don't believe me? Lets look at the facts. America, supposedly the World Wide Leader in Economics can't even afford to pay its Employees more then minimum wage. In Australia, even doing fast food sees you get Sixteen Dollars an Hour MINIMUM. In America, YOU can hunt ANIMALS. In Australia ANIMALS hunt YOU. Oh, and how's about the kicker, in Australia we don't need a botched website for Free Health Care, we get it from Birth. I will grant you one thing America, you are certainly the world wide leader in IGNORANCE. One in Four Americans believe the Sun revolves around the Earth. The rest of the world drives on the left side. America cries foul and drives on the right. Rest of the World uses Celsius, America uses Fahrenheit. Oh, and as a side note, I don't know if anyone has told you, but Baseball is NOT the World Sport. So stop claiming its a 'World Series'. Its just another circle jerk by fat-ass Americans who don't want to admit the rest of the world exists.”
LJ finally pauses, with each comment the hatred slowly growing until finally LJ is getting a decent rain of jeers. Smirking widely, LJ turns left and right, letting the crowd jeer at him until he re-raises the mike.
---|| THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER || LJ SUMMERS ||---
“OH! And here's my favourite. At least in Australia our Capital City's don't go BANKRUPT!”
Michigan clearly HATES that one, and LJ is left grinning in the center of the ring as he starts to get a loud reaction. He lets it go on for a few moments before speaking again with a chuckle.
---|| THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER || LJ SUMMERS ||---
“Now see, never let it be said I'm not a fair guy. In fact, that’s why I'm here. I believe Australia is better then America. You all clearly disagree. Thankfully, we have this little squared circle to sort out the problem. All I ask for is ONE volunteer to get in this ring for a match against the Southern Cross Superstar. If I win, its yet more proof that Australia is better then America. If you win, its proof that America is Better.”
A buzz seems to grow through the crowd now, and LJ grins cockily. After another long moment though, LJ re-raises the microphone and the crowd dies down to hear him.
---|| THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER || LJ SUMMERS ||---
“AND just to make it more enticing, and because I'm so confident, I have an added bonus. Thanks to the amazing backing of Wildcard Enterprises, IF the chosen local pulls off a miracle and pins my shoulders to the mat for a three or makes me tap out, they will win ONE MILLION DOLLARS.”
THAT gets a loud roar of surprise and cheers, and LJ lets it go on for a moment, before re-raising his mike with a smirk.
---|| THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER || LJ SUMMERS ||---
“Don't get too cheerful. No-one from this hick town is going to be good enough to beat me. And speaking of that, I think its time we get our local volunteer.”
LJ now lowers the mike and steps from the ring, slowly starting to circle ringside. The ANZAC Warrior looks closely at each person moving along slowly.
---|| THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER || LJ SUMMERS ||---
“Too fat. Can you even fit in the ring? Too ugly, they need to be able record you on camera. What the fuck are you, an inbred? Would you look at those teeth? Just like an American to avoid the dentist. Ohh....I think we have something....”
LJ finally stops, looking at one guy who is standing up. Unlike most of the others, this guy isn't waving his arms or screaming for attention, but is instead standing tall and looking LJ in the eye, despite giving up 10 inches in height. Summers stares him down for a moment and then nods.
---|| THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER || LJ SUMMERS ||---
“Alright kid. Whats your name?”
---|| CHRIS SCOBILLE ||---
“I ain't no kid. And my names Chris Scobille.”
---|| THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER || LJ SUMMERS ||---
“Well Chris, I take it your from around here?”
---|| CHRIS SCOBILLE ||---
“Born and raised right here in the great city of Grand Rapids!”
That gets a cheap pop, but LJ Summers quickly speaks up again.
---|| THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER || LJ SUMMERS ||---
“Relax, Mate. So was Gerald Ford. It's not something to be proud of. You want a chance at a million dollars?”
---|| CHRIS SCOBILLE ||---
“I guess for a million bucks I can embarrass you on National Television. Lets Go.”
Grand Rapids cheers and LJ chuckles stepping back and climbing into the ring, while Scobille hops over the barricade and strips his shirt off. Scobille rolls into the ring, and Jack Hammer instantly approaches him, patting him down to check for items. Amazingly enough, he finds none. It's almost as if Chris knew better then to bring his phone or wallet tonight. Over in the other corner, LJ is stripping off his cape, showing off his well built chest and ab muscles, before turning and holding his arms wide to let Hammer pat him down. After a moment, Hammer looks up at LJ and quietly asks him a question, and LJ nods. Looking back at Scobille and then back to Summers, Jack just shakes his head and raises his hand, calling for the bell.
DING! DING! DING!
With the bell rang, Summers strolls forward rubbing his hands together, eager to get his hands on the Local. Scobille though, shows at least a passing knowledge of wrestling acumen, circling away from Summers and using the squared circle to keep his distance as he tries to seize upon a weakness in the bigger man's movement. The Southern Cross Superstar just watches him slowly, smirking evilly the entire time. Finally growing sick of Scobille circling, Summers just turns his back and holds his arms out-wide, a silent invitation for Scobille to take the first shot. The Grand Rapids Fan senses a trap and looks around at his fellow fans all of whom are cheering him on. Turning back to Summers, Scobille finally charges forward, throwing a clothesline at the back of The ANZAC Warrior....who ducks underneath it, and as Scobille hits the ropes and rebounds back, he's damn near decapitated by a Ledger Lariat. Scobille flips upon impact, crashing down face-first and unmoving on the mat, and Summers stands tall for a moment, pointing forward at the titan-tron he was watching the entire time, before tapping the side of his head in the universal 'Genius' signal. Michigan clearly doesn't like seeing their local being shown up so quickly, but its just the first move in a long night for Scobille. After a few moments Scobille starts pushing up off the mat trying to reach his feet. The Down Under Thunder watches him for a moment, before grabbing him by the hair and dragging him to his feet.
Summers stands tall for a moment, yelling out his greatness to the crowd, and then dragging Scobille to the center of the ring, grabs Scobille his throat and jeans, and with almost no effort he lifts Scobille high into the air!The Southern Cross Superstar stands tall in center ring, just holding Scobille high in the air with a Gorilla Press, until he finally lets go and steps forward, dropping Scobille on his face from 8 feet in the air! Grand Rapids winces at the impact, watching as Scobille rolls around clutching at his face in pain. The ANZAC Warrior doesn't seem at all concerned though, just circling the ring slowly and flexing his biceps with a smile. After another long few moments, the ANZAC Warrior crosses back to Scobille, again reaching down and dragging the smaller man up by his hair. Summers now steps towards the corner, and with a wide grin he drills Scobille in the midsection with a knee to the gut to double him over, before thrusting Scobille's head between his legs. The ANZAC Warrior takes a moment to run a fist diagonally down his chest, clearly indicating another big move is coming, and sure enough a moment later, LJ bends over, and then flips Scobille up over his back, holding him in a crucifix position for a moment before stepping forward and driving Scobille into the mat with the Crucifix Powerbomb he calls the Essendon Bomber! Scobille is little more then a rag doll by now, and Summers finally goes for the first pin of the match, draping an arm across Scobille's chest.
ONE............TWO...........THR-NO!!!!
Grand Rapids gets a HUGE shock as Scobille throws an arm up at two and eight-ninths! Summers can only look at the ref in complete disbelief, but the heart of Scobille still beats, as he refuses to go down so easily in front of his hometown! LJ just chuckles now, standing back up, and running both his hands through his hair. He shakes his head for another moment and then chuckles as he watches Scobille roll over and try to push up once more. LJ stands tall over Scobille, waving the smaller man up, almost demanding the Grand Rapids citizen get up to face the consequences, and Scobille uses Summers own tights to drag himself up. LJ stands for a moment, letting Scobille climb up using his tights, until Scobille is on two wobbly feet of his own. Grand Rapids is applauding his heart, but they don't seem too enthusiastic.....until LJ throws a wild right and Scobille blocks it! LJ now steps back and fires off a left hand, and Chris blocks it again! NOW Grand Rapids starts to get excited, and it watches as LJ goes to boot Scobille in the midsection, and Scobille catches his foot, flips over, and drills LJ with an Enziguri, knocking the bigger man tumbling backwards! Grand Rapids explodes in jubilation, excited to see their hero fighting back, and they cheer on Scobille as he pushes upto his feet.....but the jubilation gets cut short as the moment Chris reaches his feet, he gets a face full of boot courtesy of a CADEL EVANS SPECIAL Bicycle Kick! Scobille crashes down once more, spread eagled on the mat, while Summers stands tall wiping a single hand over his mouth, disbelieving that Scobille even got one shot in on him.
After a few moments, Summers finally turns back to Scobille, who still hasn't moved, and shakes his head, a snarl now crossing his face. Sauntering forward, the Australian literally drags the unmoving Scobille up, dragging him to a corner and propping the smaller man up, with his arms over the top rope. Summers now crosses the ring, before turning to lock eyes on his target, smirking, and charging across, leaping high in the air, and crashing down on Scobille with a Canberra Clash! Scobille is squashed back against the corner, the back of his head cracking into the top turnbuckle, before he springs forward, taking two staggering steps forward....where LJ greets him by underhooking both of his arms, leaping high in the air, and driving Scobille down on his head with Mjolnir's Might! Scobille rolls over onto his back from the impact, and now Summers drapes himself across Scobille's shoulders, looking expectantly at Hammer.
ONE............TW-NO!!!!
Summers lifts Scobille's arm, shaking his head. HE still has one more point to prove. Standing back up, the ANZAC Warrior drags Scobille up over his shoulder, Scobille's head dangling near his waist. Summers strolls around the ring, showing off Scobille's situation to all the Grand Rapid fans, before finally stopping in the center of the ring, throwing his arms wide, and then dropping down into a seated position, driving Scobille's head into the mat with the THUNDER DOME DRIVER! Scobille collapses to the mat again, and this time Summers gets up and places a single foot on his chest, making his point emphatically.
One.
Two.
Three.
DING! DING! DING!
Summers stands tall for a long few moments after the bell has rung, keeping his foot placed on Scobille's chest. Summers holds his wrist out to Jack Hammer, demanding the referee raise his hand, which Hammer does momentarily, before dropping down to check on Scobille. Summers finally steps away from Scobille, letting Hammer get him over towards Medical Personnel while LJ grabs a microphone and his flag. Turning back to the center of the ring, Summers drapes his flag over his shoulder, before raising his mike.
---|| THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER || LJ SUMMERS ||---
“And surprise, surprise. America failed a test. Though they stepped up, Grand Rapids has been found lacking in any skill whatsoever. America ZILCH Australia ONE. Next week, the G'Day Tour goes to Indianapolis. And again I will show you that the America is filled with nothing but failures. My name is LJ Summers and I am a Proud Australian. G'Day.”
LJ drops the mike now and raises his flag in both hands, waving it proudly to a cascade of jeers. And as Vendetta goes to commercial, its on Medics checking on Scobille while Summers stands in the ring waving his flag with a wide grin on his face.
Subject: PROMO | LJ Summers - "G'Day Grand Rapids" 
