Promo: "Arrive. Devolve. Leave." | D-Volution

Subject: Promo: "Arrive. Devolve. Leave." | D-Volution Mon Oct 14, 2013 9:04 pm

Due: Saturday October 26th, at 11:59 PM EST

____________________

.

Favorite Current Wrestlers:
1. Sasha Banks
2. Becky Lynch
3.
4.
5.

Favorite All-Time Wrestlers:
Your dad

TeamJoker Posts : 1189 Join date : 2013-07-21 Age : 34

After the first match of the night has been completed, the show cuts back from an in-house commercial break about XWAShop.com (where you can buy all your favourite D-Volution merchandise, all orders come with free complimentary JHalc pants). Cedar and Dennis are just getting warmed up and begin to talk as the shot cuts to the parking lot area. Nothing in particular appear to be going on. It's a parking lot. What on Earth could make a parking lot exciting?!

Cedar:
"Well ladies and gentlemen next up is a match between AJ Miller, who has been on a losing streak the past few weeks, and JHalc and the winner gets an Inter--what on Earth?! Apparently something is going on in the parking lot..."

Dennis:
"Did my pizza delivery arrive?! I hope it has extra sausage."

Unfortunately for Dennis, his sausagefest has yet to arrive - the night is still young. However, something has arrived in the parking lot, or rather is in the process of doing so. A loud thudding noise can be heard in the distance, becoming louder and louder as every moment passes. The camera man has only just walked through the arena's door to the parking lot and looks around, trying to locate where the noise is coming from. After a few seconds, the shot swings over to the right where the entrance to the car park is and a large black ford pick up truck comes racing down the moderately angled ramp! The music can soon be heard to be D-Volution's entrance theme, "Sleep Now in the Fire" by Rage Against The Machine, and the vehicle is housing thee individuals, one of which is Nova who is driving the truck. She isn't doing a very good job. In the back of the truck, behind the main cabin, is the other two members of D-Volution - "The Jack of Hearts" JHalc and "The Showstealer" David Michaels. Neither man is dressed to compete and is wearing their street clothes. Both are stood up and appear to be holding on for dear life, as Nova hurtles into the car park not realising the thing actually has a brake!

Cedar:
"Oh dear Lord!"

Dennis:
"Urgh, great...it's these muppets..."

Both JHalc and Michaels look like they are on the verge of death, yet seem particularly happy about it all. As Nova attempts to take control, the truck kicks it back out to the left.

Michaels:
"THE BRAKE! USE THE GOD DAMN BRAKE WOMAN!"

JHalc:
"Or don’t!"

Nova takes David’s advice and slams on both the main brakes and also the parking brake. The truck swerves round, nearly flinging both Michaels and JHalc out of the back! Eventually, the madwoman in the cockpit brings the whole contraption to a halt and looks back through the small window behind her, as both men jerk to a stand still, Michaels nearly falling on his ass and JHalc desperately keeping his hat on.

Nova:
"...I think that worked?!"

Michaels:
"Who the hell taught you how to drive?!"

Nova:
"You know it was fun."

Michaels:
"FUN! YOU NEARLY KILLED US---actually, you’re right. I think we eventually lost those cops a few blocks back too!"

JHalc:
"Why were they even following us?"

Michaels:
"WHY WERE THEY FOLLOWING US?!?!?!"

JHalc:
"You still think it is because of the truck, don’t you…..?"

Nova:
"You mean the truck you just had us steal from the airport?"

JHalc:
"They said we could take any of them in the aisle..."

Michaels:
"YOU STILL HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!"

JHalc:
"Nobody told me anything about that!"

Nova:
"I’m pretty sure that is what they were screaming at us when we pulled out of the parking lot."

Michaels looks around to the entrance behind him, not being able to hold his laughter back, as their entrance theme continues to play. He picks up a red cap from somewhere in the now messed up rear of the truck, turning it backwards and placing it on his head. JHalc continues to make sure his hat is in check, as Nova opens the driver’s door and climbs out. She wanders round, wearing her usual sexy black cat outfit, blonde locks and shades. She leans on the side of the truck and looks up at her two partners.

Nova:
"Well that’s 50 bucks I think you both owe me...I told you we’d get here in record time."

JHalc climbs down out of the truck, whilst Michaels decides to take a seat before venturing any further. He’s feeling a little queasy...

JHalc:
"Record time, maybe, but warp speed? Impressive."

Michaels:
"I think I’m going to be sick...but, you know, if we had just RENTED A CAR LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WE WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE HOURS AGO!!"

JHalc:
"Where’s the fun in that?"

Michaels:
"Does either of you have something for travel sickness?"

The Jack of Hearts pulls out the pockets in his pants. A few coins fall out, some tacks and a ripped out image of a hammer from some catalogue.

JHalc:
"Nope. Fresh out."

Nova:
"...I have gum?"

Still half laughing, while in terrible pain, Michaels leans over and holds his arm out.

Michaels:
"That’ll do, I guess."

JHalc:
"So...we have a tag match tonight...right?"

Nova turns and stares at JHalc, like he’s smoking something pretty damn heavy. Michaels wants to do the same, but is preoccupied in trying to open his gum.

Nova:
"No...you have a match against that Bollywood guy."

JHalc:
"...who?"

Nova:
"AJ Miller, you idiot!"

JHalc is still confused...

JHalc:
"...who?"

Nova:
"Oh screw you."

Nova waves him off and heads back into the truck, turning the music down before coming back out. She then uses the passenger side side mirror to check on her makeup. JHalc is still confused as to who in the hell he is facing. With a puzzled, yet rather uncaring, look on his face he turns to Michaels looking for answers who still can’t open that damn gum.

JHalc:
"...Bollywood guy?"

Michaels:
"GOD DAMN FREAKIN’ OPEN YOU SON OF A BI--oh, yeah...errmmm...I kicked his ass a couple of weeks back. You said I had it in the bag...didn’t come and help...door chaos ensued...remember?"

The mention of ‘door chaos’ triggers JHalc’s memory and finally remembers who AJ Miller is. He doesn’t care.

JHalc:
"Door chaos...oh him?! Eh, I wouldn’t have bothered turning up if I had of known."

Michaels:
"...the hell do they make these wrappers out of?!"

JHalc:
"Just pull the red strip..."

Michaels:
"I damn well am! OPEN!!!"

The gum then goes flying as Michaels attempts to open it. Each little piece goes flying everywhere and lands all around Michael’s feet. He looks down at JHalc with a blank expression.

Michaels:
"Don’t even think about saying anything."

JHalc:
"...wouldn’t dream of it. So...we going to get some coffee or something?"

Michaels:
"Dude, your match is next. You should be going to get into your ring gear."

JHalc:
"Eh."

Michaels:
"No, seriously, your match is like right now. This is why Nova was driving like a madwoman!"

Nova:
"It was damn good driving and you know it!"

Michaels:
"Shhh! Be quiet! Seriuosly, dude, go to your match. We need that IC Title."

JHalc:
"Well then let’s just find that Drake guy and get it."

Michaels:
"You have to win the #1 contendership first. That’s why you need to get to your match."

JHalc:
"You know, you should really be focusing on your own match."

Michaels:
"Yes, well unlike you, I’ve been preparing for it for weeks. I scouted those jerkoffs for the past two weeks, whereas you thought we had a tag match tonight. Seriously, go already."

JHalc really doesn’t look too interested in this match, wondering why he isn’t the number one contender anyway after defeating the champion last week. Begrudgingly, he reaches in the back window of the truck and grabs the handle of his mallet. He pulls it out through the window, to show that the end of it is actually zipped into his bag. As he pulls it free from the window, he swings it up and over his shoulder in true hitchhiker style and hops out of the back of the truck. Nova kills the engine and steps out of the truck as David scoops up a piece of the gum and leaps out of the back himself. Nova reaches back into the truck and throws David his bag before slamming the door shut. The trio head for the door leading to the backstage area.

Nova:
"Hopefully they haven’t locked us out."

JHalc:
"Don’t worry. I got this."

Jay unshoulders the mallet and unzips his bag so that he can pull it free. He tosses the bag to David before “The Show Stealer” even realizes what is happening. David catches the bag by reflex alone and Nova is the first to realize Jay’s intentions.

Nova:
"You’re not going to --"

JHalc steps forward to the door, but David finally snaps out of whatever daze he is in and takes off after him.

Michaels:
"WAIT!!!"

David gets to the door first and holds his hand out, stopping his partner from bringing the hammer down on another undeserving victim. Jay looks as if he is going to try and swing around him, but Nova places her hand on his shoulder. He looks over his shoulder and locks eyes with her, only to have her shake her head no. David whistles to get his attention. When Jay looks back, David gently pushes the door open with a smile on his face. JHalc lowers the mallet and holds his hand out for Nova to head through in front of him. David holds the door for her, and then follows her into the building. JHalc comes to the door, and holds it open for himself with the head end of the mallet. He pauses for a moment before stepping through, giving a hostile glare to the door itself.

JHalc:
"You win this round…."

JHalc steps through and heads down the hallway after his teammates.

Geez these promos are hilarious Funny

I love them. They're very reminiscent of the kinds of promos DxWO made Hmmmmmmmmmmm

____________________

.

Favorite Current Wrestlers:
1. Sasha Banks
2. Becky Lynch
3.
4.
5.

Favorite All-Time Wrestlers:
Your dad

TeamJoker Posts : 1189 Join date : 2013-07-21 Age : 34

If by that you mean promos that are awesome.... then yea.... they are real similar

The work of Gods.

Guest

Another swell promo by D-V (i'm gonna call them that I aint bothered

) Look forward to when you have an actual tag match. The preparation for that should be hilarious.

» Greg Samuel "Arrive. Fatal Attraction. Leave."
» PROMO | D-Volution
» PROMO | D-Volution - "D-Ceived"
» PROMO | D-Volution - "Remember when..."
» PROMO | D-Volution - "Time to run this joint again"

Promo: "Arrive. Devolve. Leave." | D-Volution

Promo: "Arrive. Devolve. Leave." | D-Volution

Similar topics

Similar topics