M1.) Survival Of The Sickest - #1 Contendership For The XWA Intercontinental Championship

DUE: Friday, October 31st at 11:59PM EDT.

RULES: A steel cage surrounds the ring. Thumb tacks cover the ring. There are two wires crossing at the top of the cage, with a briefcase hanging from the middle of them. A person is eliminated via pinfall or submission. Once it's down to two men, the first to retrieve the briefcase is the winner.

COMPETITORS: Shade vs. Jared Jerusalem vs. Mark Storey vs. Xtreme Icon vs. Hitman Alex vs. Kasabian Stalker

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M1.) Survival Of The Sickest - #1 Contendership For The XWA Intercontinental Championship MJFR42R

Note: Xtreme Icon posted a promo, stating he was injured. But he did that just this week, where I've already written pretty much most of my match(and he has a large role in the middle of the bout). So I tried my best to write him in this match with an ankle injury. I hope Mr Grader understands

After the King Of Xtreme opening, pyrotechnics, starting remarks from the commentators, and entrances from all wrestlers - the steel death trap-like structure lowers from the pinnacle of the arena. An excited yet quiet atmosphere’s easily felt throughout the area as the fans wait silently.

Ted Cedar: By goodness, Joey. What a way to kick off King Of Xtreme, with a Survival of The Sickest match! This is going to put the extreme in King of Xtreme!

Joey Miles: I hope these guys got good boots, because not only is there a cage hindering their ability to go outside - but there are also thumbtacks EVERYWHERE! Just look at it.

Ted Cedar: So tell me Joey, is there any way that these men can avoid getting hurt by either the cage or the thumbtacks on the canvas?

Joey Miles: Realistically speaking, no. These men knew the risks when they were put in this match. Now they’re going to go through hell for a number one contender’s status for the Intercontinental title.

Ted Cedar: I have to admit, that’s true. There is no safe plan for tthe Survival of The Sickest match. All you can do, is wish for the least pain possible. Now let’s just remind the folks watching home who’re the handpicked opponents for this match. Our General Manager, Thomas Barnez chose these following people: Hitman Alex, Jared Jerusalem, Kasabian Stalker, Mark Storey, Shade, and Xtreme Icon - who was injured by Shade, but still persists on entering in this match. Boy oh boy, what a chemical reaction these people in the squared-circle will probably and most-likely produce! You can be damn well sure that the audience is getting their money’s worth, paying to see these fine competitors. A mix of veterans, young prodigies, and extremists. God, as my partner Joey Miles would say “For us wrestling geeks, this is porn! This is what’s going to take our hardcore virginity!”

Joey Miles: I said that?

All men keep their distances from each other while being stuck inside the dangerous-looking steel cage. You can bet that they must be thinking of some sort of strategy for this match. One wrong move, and they could end up pulling thumbtacks out of their skin after this bout.

DING! DING! DING!

The people of Seattle Washington light up with fiery loud reaction, finally making a sound after that long period of silence. They begin to show how much they looked forward to this match that will start the night. As the bell rings, each superstar scramble and jostle for position. Trying to out-corner their opponent. Mark Storey’s panic drills into his mind and decides to go for an early attempt to climb up, though he can’t win unless there are only two men left. Or maybe he wants to go high-risk. However, Jerusalem grabs him by the achilles heel and yanks him down to the floor. Good thing that The Monarch of Wrestling wasn’t to high up the cage, or else he would have crashed back-first on the tacks. Jared then begins to dish out stone-like punches to the Premier Player. Meanwhile Shade’s doing the same thing to Kasabian Stalker. Hitman Alex and Xtreme Icon, who are two veterans in this industry, are grappling each other in a collar and elbow tie-up while one’s backed against the steel cage. The Pervert manages to turn Shade around. This time Shade’s against the corner. The Butcher climbs on top of the two middle ropes, thrusting his crotch a bit against the face of the Ultimate Synner. But Hell’s Pyromaniac finds a way to get out of this predicament. He carries the stalker up in mid-air with the bare strength of his arms and shoulders as his opponent sits on top of him. Kasabian Stalker tries to escape by humping the Shade’s face with his erection while he’s hoisted up with a powerbomb hold. Instead, the Master of Syn throws Kasabian to the opposite corner. The Piece of Eden, Jared Jerusalem gets sandwiched between Kasabian Stalker and the person he cornered - which was Mark Storey. The three men luckily didn’t fall on the mat where all the thumbtacks lay rest. All of them are leaning on each other. Mark Storey’s leaning against the corner. Suddenly Xtreme Icon comes running towards Shade. It looked like that Alex irish-whipped him in the direction of the Ultimate Synner. He catches him and carries him up with a double chokeslam clutch. However it looks like the former world champion used Xtreme Icon as bait. Hitman strongly kicks Hell’s Pyromaniac in the mid-section, causing him to lean forward a bit. Icon falls safely to his feet and begins an onslaught of punches. The Highlight joins Icon as they work together to bring Shade down.

Ted Cedar: This is a smart strategy, joining forces to take someone like Shade down. But how long will this new alliance last?

Joey Miles: Kasabian Stalker face-humping the fuck out of Shade is still the best strategy.

Mr Center of Attraction and The Toughest SOB in XWA manage to dizzy up The Terror of Death. They simultaneously run towards the ropes. They ricochet back to the direction of Shade, but Hell’s Pyromaniac knocks them down with a clothesline to both of them using both of his arms, bringing the newly formed team to an abrupt close. The crowd scream in enjoyment as they finally witness the first victims of the thumbtack-filled mat. Icon and Alex jerk around in pain as they agonize from the tacks.

Joey Miles: Jesus fucking Christ! Look at the tacks on both of their backs! Damn!

Ted Cedar: I can’t bare to see it! Oh the humanity!

Shade turns back his sights on the trio in the corner, only to see Kasabian Stalker heading his way. The Butcher runs and dropkicks The Ultimate Synner’s knee before he could take notice. A bad move on the Pervert’s part. He may have taken Shade down a peg, but he lands his sides on the thumbtacks. The side of his arms, ribs, and thighs have tacks sticking out of them as blood trickles down. The faithful XWA live viewers let out a small “Ooooh” after witnessing the stalker make a painful mistake. Jared Jerusalem quickly returns to this match-up by capitalizing on the opportunity that Shade’s down on one knee. He runs up to the Terror of Death and blasts his mush in with a running knee. While standing, he drives his knee against the facial features of Hell’s Pyromaniac. The Master of Syn falls back, landing back and head first on the tacked canvas. The crowd shout a noisy “OH!” as they see the tacks stuck on his back and on some of his hair. The Great Malevolence carefully crouches down and places his finger on top of his downed adversary, not because he’s cocky but because he’s avoiding making contact with the thumbtacks. The referee outside the cage rushes to the side where Jared’s nearest at. He slaps the cage as a form of counting. He probably didn’t want to be trapped inside a cage with six other superstars and to thrash the mat in the ring with his hand, he might’ve ended up getting tacks stuck in his palms for who knows how many times.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Shade lifts his arm up to power out of that pinfall. The referee turns around to the crowd, waving his arm around in the air to tell them that it was indeed a two count. The Former LionHeart Champion stands back up only to be jumped from behind by Mark Storey, who is also a former LionHeart Champion. The Elite of Elites wraps his arms around the neck of his foe with a sleeper hold. Jerusalem swiftly walks backwards in the direction of the corner. Ultimately. Storey’s back collides with the turnbuckles of the post. Marks moves away a bit and bends down in pain from that collision. After a short rest to catch a breath, Double J sprints towards the Irish-born wrestler and just rolls sidewards on top his back with ease. Now he’s in front of the Dejected Devil. The Belfast native looks up and glares at the man who took his title a few Vendetta episodes ago, only to become a recipient of a wicked slap!

Ted Cedar: Woah! Shades of Jared Jerusalem and Mark Storey’s LionHeart title match!

Joey Miles: Haha... It’s funny because there’s a competitor in there named Shade.

Ted Cedar:..... Oh you son of a.

The vicious slap of disrespect to Mark Storey only fuels his anger to an outstanding extent. The Premier Player shoves his in-match rival away in an act of defiance. Jerusalem retaliates by spinning around with a discuss forearm, but misses. The Irish native ducks down, avoiding the former tag champ’s famous move. JJ turns around to receive a low blow kick from the bitter Mark Storey. The Audience doesn’t feel any sympathy for the Piece of Eden though. After what he did to Joey Jobberton and after betraying the XWA Universe, who would? They still boo the Dejected Devil though, due to resorting to a cowardly low blow. Before Jared could fall back, the Monarch of Wrestling grabs him by the hair. He stands him up and begins continually ramming his face against the cage in a brutal manner.

Ted Cedar: GOODNESS, IS HE TRYING TO KILL THE MAN!?

The Self Proclaimed Savior of XWA begins to bleed from his face. The crimson coming from his forehead just flows down without impasse. After a brutalizing the Hypocrite Hunter with that steel, Storey finally puts a stop to his assault and let’s go of Jared. Jerusalem falls back and joins the list of people in this match who’ve got thumbtacks not purposely attached to their backs. Storey goes for the cover, placing his foot on top of Jared’s chest. The official rushes in and goes for the count.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Surprisingly, Jared Jerusalem manages to kickout - keeping himself in this bout. If you’d ask both of the commentators, The Piece of Eden should have stayed down. Mark Storey begins to yell at the referee outside like a crazy person. The Monarch of Wrestling may have developed some sort of “Beat the man that took your title” obsession. His frustration’s settling in way to early. The Great Malevolence somehow gets up to a knee but gets sent back down to the canvas with a massive boot from The Elite of Elites. Mark Storey yet again goes for a pin.

ONE

TWO

KICKOUT!

Jerusalem once again kicks out, forcing Storey’s to dilate in disbelief. He begins to have a war of words with the official yet again, debating on whether the ref is suitable for counting the pin. However a now better Kasabian Stalker puts a stop to it by coming from behind and wrapping his arms around the Dejected Devil’s mid-section, much like when someone’s going for a German suplex. The Pervert’s rather.... too close to Storey. But this is how The Butcher operates. He prefers feeling his opponent’s sweat. He also seems to be creepily whispering “Calm down” to his feisty adversary, as captured by the camera. Mark tries to struggle out of The Pervert’s clutches, but it seems that Kasabian’s got a firm grip on his foe. The Stalker then whips The Elite of Elites to the turnbuckle after that short “happy moment” of his. The Butcher tries to approach Storey but gets interrupted by Xtreme Icon who grabs his hair from behind and throws him mush-first against the cage. Kasabian Stalker lays back down on the mat after that, groaning in pain from the tacks while covering his so-called “sexy” face. The Toughest King of XWA looks at his handiwork but gets turned around by the person who assisted him in the beginning of the match. Icon and Hitman Alex have a face-off. The audiences cheer on. Obviously they’re the fan favorites in this match, being that they’re both faces. Finally they’re staring battle turns into a physical brawl as they trade shots, retaliating one after the other. The fans explode with noise as they witness this showdown.

Ted Cedar: Oh God! This has disintegrated into a brawl!

Joey Miles: The fans are so wild, and it’s just the beginning of the night! Oh boy.

The exchange ends with The One Man Montana Militia attempting an irish-whip, but Hitman Alex turns and reverses with his own. Icon gets sent to the ropes and cage. However The Toughest SOB in XWA leaps up and catches the cage mesh, being able to climb up of it. Mr COA gives chase to the Hall of Famer before he could reach a high distance, but Xtreme Icon jumps off the cage - falling towards Hitman Alex. The former World Champ is frozen solid, despite the thousands of fans yelling and urging him to get out of the way. When it all seemed to look like Mr Center of Attraction was going to be crushed like a pancake, Shade pushes him out of the way and manages to catch Icon. The bare strength, being able to carry up a man horizontally with ease - despite the person falling several feet off the cage. Hell’s Pyromaniac sprints forwards and smothers the 2011 KOX winner against the cage. An impactful thud-like sound was made after the collision of Icon and the cage. Meanwhile Hitman Alex tries to approach the Ultimate Synner from behind, but the New Yorker gets attacked by Mark Storey. The former World Champ staggers to the side as the former LionHeart Champion releases an aggressive offense on him, with repeated forearms to the side of the head. Meanwhile, Jared Jerusalem seated and resting silently in the corner - of course he sweeped some of the thumbtacks away instead of sitting on it. It looks like he’s fighting between consciousness and unconsciousness due to the immense blood loss. It also seems that the Pervert, Kasabian Stalker’s still down - protecting his facial features.

Ted Cedar: Several minutes into this match and no one’s been eliminated yet. The men are bloody and battered. God, I wonder who’s going to be able to pull that briefcase down.

Shade still has his grasps on Xtreme Icon - and with his own brute force, he rams Icon back-first again against the steel. This time he lets go and lets the Toughest King in XWA History stay between the ropes and mesh. Mark Storey seems to have cornered former World champion, Hitman Alex. He climbs up the middle ropes and begins to drill shots to the head of his foe from the Bronx. However Hitman Alex pulls the Dejected Devil a bit down, being able to lift him up on his arms and shoulders for a powerbomb. Mr Center of Attraction climbs up the turnbuckles, still with Storey hoisted up. The New Yorker may look to do a powerbomb from the top ropes. He successfully does this in fact, however not by his own will. Shade joins in on this and pushes both men down to the canvas filled with pointy and sharp thumbtacks. The crowd screams a loud “OH!” after witnessing that big move. All men in this match officially have tacks in their bodies, Storey being the last one to receive it.

Ted Cedar: Goodness! This is what happens when you put a monster like Shade in this match. He just comes in and unleashes the most pain possible.

Joey Miles: He just interrupts shit and adds twice the extreme! Damn I love this guy! He’s my bet in this match.

Ted Cedar: Oh the humanity! Look at Storey and Alex yelping out in agony! This is inhumane! Alex’s chest is just bright red and filled with tacks!

Shade turns back to the person he was targeting earlier, Xtreme Icon - who now looks to climb the cage again, looking for a big high-flying move to steal the show. The Terror of Death angrily shakes the cage, but Icon’s got his firm clutches on the cage. Kasabian Stalker, who’s finally gotten up, goes up to Shade from behind. He slowly and carefully kneels down and nails The Master of Syn with a low blow! The shot causes Shade to bend over. The Butcher then turns the bent over Shade to his side. He backs away and comes back, sprinting to the Terror of Death. He splendidly then strikes Shade with an amazing European uppercut! Surprisingly bringing the monster down.

Joey Miles: Woah! So this is why management wanted this guy bad. Put aside his weird-ass antics and you got a skillful wrestler here.

Ted Cedar: Shade’s down again! Shade’s down again!

Joey Miles: Thank you captain obvious! And they call you the smart one between us two. Show me the justice in that.

Ted Cedar: This from the one singing mid-match and saying countless sexual references?

Kasabian Stalker was able to bring Shade down, filling his ego to another level. The man’s shaking his hips in the middle of the ring. Some of the horny ladies watching are loving this, but aside from them - the audience is crapping on this big time. The Pervert turns his attention to Jared Jerusalem, who’s still seated on the corner. He grins creepily at the downed man while fondling his nipple around in disgusting fashion. He then runs towards Jerusalem and bronco busters him! His feet and legs go through the ropes, hitting the cage a bit as he yelps out embarrassingly. Though he continues to wipe and smother The Piece of Eden with his pelvic and crotch area. He stops and backs out of the way. Jared seems to be coughing out in grotesque after what he just went through. The Butcher then runs in panic, seeing that Xtreme Icon has reached the top of the cage. He looks to stand up and jump from an incredible height. However as he stands up, Kasabian Stalker shakes the cage, causing Icon to lose balance and fall off the cage. He plummets outside of the ring and to the concrete. Knocking one of the camera men with him. The audience screams in terror after witnessing a career-shortening moment.

Ted Cedar: OH MY GOD! OH LORD! OH EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY!

Joey Miles: Is he dead!? Yep... He’s dead.

Ted Cedar: DON’T SAY THAT! GOD! THAT MAN TOOK THE ULTIMATE RISK AND IT BACKFIRED! DAMN YOU KASABIAN STALKER!

The crowd is immediately silence after the descent of Xtreme Icon. Officials rush in to the Hall of Famer’s aid, followed by members of the medical team with a stretcher. Kasabian looks on to the damage he’s made and just shrugs it off as if it was nothing. The fans jeer the Pervert incredibly. Meanwhile, the people outside tend to the Toughest SOB in XWA. They put the equipment on him and hoist him up. They rest him on the stretch then push him out of the arena. The fans boo, seeing as one of the favorites in this match get pulled off of this bout in a bitter manner.

Ted Cedar: I hope Icon doesn’t feel bad when he wakes up. He tried his damn best tonight, and he should be proud.

Joey Miles: Ha! He’s going to be depressed as hell when he wakes up.

Ted Cedar: Show some respect! That man just went through hell!

Joey Miles: So are those guys in the ring!

Kasabian Stalker takes minute, flexing his muscles and showing off his masculinity to the audience. The fans boo in disgust. He then heads on over to Jared Jerusalem. He grabs him and drags him towards the center of the squared circle. He stares at the crowd and begins to mock them by imitating Xtreme Icon, doing his pose when he smashes a can on himself - though with an imaginary can. He then pushes his Icon imitations even more by climbing the cage like he did. He successfully gets up the steel structure. He gets back to a vertical base, showing off a large erection. This could only mean one thing, Kasabian Stalker’s going for the People’s Penis - which is also known as The Money Shot. The Pervert runs his hands down his body to stimulate himself some more before diving off the top of the cage. He descends down, aiming for some crotch- to face impact. However the Butcher misses as Jerusalem rolls away. Double J rolls to the side where some of the thumbtacks on the canvas have disappeared, due to men falling and getting the tacks tuck on them. The audience give out the loudest pop in the match after seeing Kasabian Stalker’s body filled with tacks. Even his crotch. This is followed by a massive applause.

Ted Cedar: DICK FIRST! DICK FIRST ON THE THUMBTACKS! HA! JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED! TAKE THAT KASABIAN STALKER!

Joey Miles: He said dick! Someone document this. Ted Cedar swears on live TV!

The downed pervert’s entire body is shaking in massive agony. Hitman Alex, from the side of the squared-circle, manages to regain some composure and forces himself to crawl to where the stalker is. He rolls Kasabian over and covers him. The ref outside goes to the nearest side and begins the count.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

The fans cheer loudly, realizing that Kasabian Stalker’s been eliminated. Laura Watts makes the official pronouncement that the Perv’s gone from this match-up. The door of the cage opens up to give way for a ref to go in and roll the Butcher outside.

Ted Cedar: We finally have a first elimination in this bout, and boy does it feel good!

Joey Miles: Jesus Christ! Calm down there, Sugar Tits.

Ted Cedar: On a different note, It looks like Kasabian Stalker’s plunge cleaned the center of the ring from all thumbtacks.

Mr Center of Attraction then crawls onto Jared Jerusalem, looking for the same results. He goes for the cover but it fails at the two count. Meanwhile, Mark Storey’s also up to his feet - though he’s leaning a bit down due to those thumbtacks. The former 2WWFer heads on to towards the person trying to pull himself up with the ropes, Shade. He lunges at The Terror of Death with a running axe-handle, sliding down to some of the tacks. Luckily the former LionHeart champ had kneepads on. Hitman Alex is now currently on top of Jerusalem, attacking that bloodied face of The Piece of Eden.

Suddenly the crowd in King Of Xtreme burst into loud screams and cheers as Xtreme Icon returns, coming out of the veil and marching down his way to the ring. Not only that, but he’s got a kendo stick in hand. The Toughest SOB in XWA History really shows how tough he is, making his way to the ring. Though he’s walking a bit awkwardly due to that terrible fall earlier and due to Shade injuring him yesterday, he’s still pushing himself to come back into this match. All competitors can’t help but to stare at Icon with disbelief in their minds, except for Jerusalem since he’s down.

Ted Cedar: OH MY GOD! GOOD LORD ALMIGHTY! IT CAN’T BE? IT’S XTREME ICON! HOW IS HE EVEN STANDING!?

Joey Miles: Holy shit.... I gotta admit, that’s badass.

Fans begin to chant out “This is Hardcore!” multiple times as The Hall of Famer walks up the stairs and enters the ring from the cage door unlocked by the officials outside. Maybe it was due to the match or due to Icon’s amazing resiliency. But rest assured, that it’s going to go twice as extreme now that a kendo’s stick been brought into the fray. Hitman Alex gets off of Jared Jerusalem and Mark Storey turns his attention to Xtreme Icon instead of Shade. Both the Great Malevolence and the Ultimate Synner crawl away from the trio facing off for a showdown - Jerusalem staying crouched at the corner and panting while Shade tries to pull himself up again after being pummeled a bit by Mark Storey. The Dejected Devil rushes in first only to be hit by that dangerous cane. The sound of that kendo stick meeting Mark Storey’s gut ignites the crowd with screams of enjoyment. The Monarch of Wrestling bends over after that attack, but receives another hit at the back from Xtreme Icon’s weapon. Storey falls immediately to the ground as the Hall of Famer switches his sights to Hitman Alex. Both men head to each other’s proximity. The 2011 King of Xtreme winner begins swinging away at the former World Champion, but this time his foe’s able to dodge each attempt. However Alex eventually finds himself cornered against the turnbuckles. Icon then uses his innovative nature to hurt Mr COA, by yanking out some of those tacks off of Hitman’s chest.

Ted Cedar: Oooh, Lord. What’s more painful than falling on tacks?

Joey Miles: Taking them off! Damn, he really is badass.

Xtreme Icon then begins smacking that kendo stick on top of the New Yorker’s head, causing Alex to slowly descend and sit - covering his face as the One Man Montana Militia drills him with those cane-shots. He goes for another swing, but as he raises the cane up in the air, Shade comes up from behind and grabs it. The Master of Syn’s able to use his strength by wrapping his one arm around Icon’s neck and taking out the kendo stick with the other. He then drops the cane and uses his free hand to punch the ribs of the Hall of Famer. Of course, those stone-like fists hurt due to the injury sustained by Icon from the fall. Shade drags his smaller opponent away from the corner and to the center of the ring. The Toughest SOB in Xtreme Wrestling Association history tries to struggle out of this predicament by flailing himself around side by side, but it does no good except for turning himself to another direction. Though, as he turns to a different region - both Shade and Xtreme Icon end up becoming victims of a spear out of nowhere by Jared Jerusalem. The audiences explode with surprise as The Piece of Eden manages to burst back to life and is able to tackle down both combatants. Icon rolls off of the top of Shade’s body, taking the worst of that spear. Jared doesn’t seem to well though. He’s continual blood loss has left him reaching out at the air for vision. His sight’s been blurred due to that thick crimson mask of blood covering his face. However the Great Malevolence finds a way to slither over to Xtreme Icon, placing his arm on top of the Hall of Famer’s chest, he goes for a cover attempt.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Laura Watts: Ladies and gentleman, Xtreme Icon has been eliminated!

The arena pours down with jeers due to the elimination of the Toughest SOB in XWA history. The admirable Hall of Famer’s drive to return to this dangerous match after falling off several feet from a steel structure has inspired an outstandingly large number of people from the audience.

Ted Cedar: Xtreme Icon should go home tonight proud and filled with no regrets. He really is the toughest SOB around here, and it’s evident. Just look at the carnage he layed out there before Jerusalem speared him to tomorrowland.

An official then comes into the squared-circle trapped in steel. He enters and rolls the body the defeated Icon out of the ring. Jerusalem slowly returns to his feet. He tries to head to Shade and pin him too as well. However his light-headed stated and wobbly legs lead him to staggering and stumbling backwards in such an awkward fashion. The Great Malevolence trips and falls, luckily there was no thumbtacks. He tries to stand back up and successfully does, despite falling down a peg a couple of times. He then heads into a corner, looking for a Switchback or the spear again. Hell’s Pyromaniac slowly gets up to a vertical base, thus prompting the Hypocrite Hunter to rush in as fast as he can despite his immense exhaustion. Jerusalem leaps up for his single-knee facebuster called the Switchback, which is basically a codebreaker with one knee. However, Shade catches The Piece of Eden in mid-air. The Terror of Death hoists his adversary up in an amazing way. He walks around the ring and tosses Jared with ease. The tacked behind of Double J clashes with the cage, causing him to ricochet and fall to the canvas filled with thumbtacks. Fans yell out “OH!” as this happens. The downed Blackpool native whimpers in his weakened state. The Terror of Death turns to spot Mark Storey up to his feet. He hastily grabs that kendo stick dropped earlier. He raises it up at his large opponent in defense. He storms towards The Ultimate Synner, swinging away with that cane in hand. However he ultimately gets blocked with a sickening bicycle kick from Shade, instantly creating a loud thud as he smashes his boot in against the mush of The Dejected Devil. After that, Shade turns to see Hitman Alex approaching him quickly. The fans gasp loudly as Mr Center of Attraction attempts for his patented finishing move “HKO” , but Hell’s Pyromaniac easily throws him down to the mat with thumbtacks as soon Alex jumped in for the grab. The Former World Champ yelps out in pain while The Master of Syn stands tall in the ring, surveying the wreckage he’s caused.

Ted Cedar: Lord have mercy for these combatants in the ring, because Shade won’t!

Joey Miles: Damn, Shade’s just cleaning house in there.

Shade continues his path of domination, being able to knock every person that comes at him down - but the persistence of his foes resumes as Hitman Alex rises to a one knee. The former 2WWFer heads towards the Highlight, but as soon as he arrives to Alex’s location, Mr Center of Attention begins to fight back with his bare fists striking at Shade’s mid-section. Slowly but surely, Hitman Alex gets back up to his feet. He continues to nail and drill The Terror of Death’s face with punches. Soon, Mark Storey returns to a vertical base as well and begins to assist the Former World Champ as they try to bring The Ultimate Synner down. Both wrestlers unleash an onslaught on Shade, but the monster manages to shove both of them to the side with his bare strength. After that, he looks forward - only to become a recipient of a superkick from Jared Jerusalem, someone he forgot while he was tending to both Mark Storey and Hitman Alex. The superkick however doesn’t bring Hell’s Pyromaniac down though. It causes his to turn around, staggering in a dizzy manner. Mr Center of Attention takes this opportunity. He bursts back up to a vertical base, jumps up and hits his jumping cutter known as the HKO! The audience creates a massive noise with cheers as they witness Shade brought down once again. Both Jerusalem and Alex carry the Ultimate Synner closer to the corner. The camera sets its sights on Mark Storey. who is currently standing on top of the turnbuckle. He leaps up and finishes off the job with a double stomp from the top rope. He calls that move “The Nail in the Coffin.” The XWA Faithful scream “OH!” as The Monarch of Wrestling successfully hits “The Nail in the Coffin.”
After the combo of signatures and finishers, The Dejected Devil confidently goes for the pin with a big smirk on his face as if he did all the work.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Laura Watts: Ladies and gentleman, Shade has been eliminated!

The arena turns joyous with positive reactions and applause as the announcement of Hell’s Pyromaniac’s elimination has been made. The cage door opens yet again to give way for a ref to come in and drag Shade out of here.

Ted Cedar: And now we’re left with the final three, Joey. I’m getting real excited here.

Joey Miles: Do these guys even have anything left in the tank?

Ted Cedar: You bet your hide that they do. A title shot for the IC championship’s on the line here!

Storey gets up to on his feet, he turns to see Jerusalem and Alex backed away. All three combatants now keep their distances from each other. All men are at their own corners, keeping their own proximity. The majority of the fans begin to chant for Hitman Alex, seeing as he’s the face out of the three.

Ted Cedar: Oh boy! Get ready for the wrestling edition of “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly!”

Jared Jerusalem and Mark Storey both stare at each other. The may go at each other like earlier. However, both of their gazes switch to Hitman Alex. The Former World Champ stares at both of his adversaries in confusion, but then he realizes that the two have instantly decided set aside their differences to attack him. With this epiphany, Hitman Alex takes the first step. Mr Center of Attention moves from his corner. His opponents follow, giving pursuit to The Highlight. Alex tries to fight both of men at once by alternately striking both of them. However the New Yorker ultimately is overwhelmed by the numbers disadvantage. Double J grabs one arm of the wrestler from the Bronx, while Storey grabs the other. They outstretch his arms in a torturous manner. Both wrestlers holding Alex then throw him back-first against the cage. The Former World Champ groans out in pain. They do it for multiple times, using the cage to their advantage until it seemed that Hitman Alex passed out. They drop him down like a used toy and Jerusalem goes for the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

Mark Storey then drags JJ out of the pin. He goes down to cover Mr Center of Attention again.

ONE!

The Great Malevolence pulls and forces The Dejected Devil to stand up. The duo begin to have a dispute. Storey’s obsession with claiming the glory is beginning to draw some consequences. Had he not yanked his new ally off of Hitman Alex, The Former World Champion would have been eliminated by now.

Joey Miles: Well there goes another short-lived alliance in this Survival of The Sickest Match.

Storey and Jerusalem’s animosity boils down to them both shoving each other. The fans thoroughly enjoy the end to this formed team. Their tension slowly disintegrates into a brawl as they start hitting each other with punches, chops and forearms. Mark Storey gets the upper hand out of the two, cleverly targeting the cut on Jared’s face that’s caused the immense blood flow. The defeated Jared Jerusalem retreats, walking backwards in an awkward manner until he accidentally backs himself against a corner. The Dejected Devil gives chase. As he arrives, The Piece of Eden tricks him - he turns him around so that Mark Storey’s the one against the corner. Now the places have been switch. The Great Malevolence delivers a loud open-hand slap to the chest of The Monarch of Wrestling, lighting his bloodied chest up even more. Jerusalem hoists his opponent up the top of the turnbuckle. He follows, heading up the middle ropes. The Hypocrite Hunter places Storey’s arm over the back of his head. He then gets up the top rope and carries Mark over him for a superplex, but before that could even happen - Hitman Alex arrives from out of no where. He goes under Jared Jerusalem and lifts him up in a carry you’d usually see when someone’s doing a powerbomb. Mr Center of Attention lands the powerbomb while Jared does the superplex on Mark Storey. The fans scream, amazed from what transpired. That powerbomb and superplex combo was a lethal one. Storey takes the worst of it, being the one highest up. The Former World Champ rushes in as soon as he can for the cover on Mark Storey.

ONE

TWO

THREE!

Mark Storey’s been eliminated from the contest. An official comes in to roll him out of the premises, leaving the final two competitors in the bout.

Ted Cedar: It’s the last two people folks! Who will be the one to take the briefcase and claim the #1 contender spot for the IC title?

Joey Miles: Fuck! I hope it’s not going to be Shitman Alex! Jared’s down! Do something damn it!

Suddenly the lights go off and....

"Alpha Kappa Omega! Peace is not an option!

Strength is the ultimate gain!

Serve your masters! Serve Alpha Kappa Omega!

The start until the end!

Through power, my chains will be broken!

Through victory, I will be set free!"

Those familiar words spark mixed reactions from the audience. People who tuned in last Saturday Night Rage will be able to recognize that that’s the hymn of Alpha Kappa Omega, this new group that Jared Jerusalem’s created. Those six lines worth of words are repeated over and over again with claps coming from God knows where. The lights come back on, bringing illumination again to the arena. The members of AKO can be seen standing ringside. The initiates and faction masters, Mike Mecca and Chris Capricorn are right there with paddles at hand.

Ted Cedar: Oh no. This doesn’t bode well for Hitman Alex. Run man! Get the briefcase already.

Joey Miles: Hell yes! Time to beat the crap out of the Shitman!

Hitman Alex quickly runs to scale the top of the cage. The Alpha Kappa Omega initiates give chase, climbing the cage from the outside in an attempt to beat Alex to the wires. The faction masters try to intimidate head ref, Ryu Sanu, to giving the key that unlocks the cage door. However the official doesn’t give in. The two then proceed to beat Sanu with paddles, knocking him down and kicking him in a brutal fashion. The audience boos at this display. Initiates, Pete Strong and Sid Leone reach the wires. They move carefully but as fast as they can to the briefcase. Hitman Alex also has now reached the wires. Now it’s just a race for the briefcase. The rest of the AKO initiates tend to their head master and founder, Jared Jerusalem’s aid - who’s bloodied all over his face and body, not to mentioned the amount of tacks he has on the back, front, and sides. All three men on top of the wires have now reached close proximity with the briefcase. Now it’s just a matter of a two on one assault. The two Alpha Kappa Omega members try to kick Hitman Alex down, and so does Mr Center of Attention - though the New Yorker tries to keep a distance. With one shoving kick, Hitman Alex was able to hit Pete Strong at the chest, causing the man to plunge down to the tacked mat. The audience screams in satisfaction, seeing the AKO member fallen down and filled with tacks. The faction masters finally take the key from the downed body of Ryu Sanu. They enter the cage structure with the paddles. They manage to distract The Former World Champ by yelling at him. As Alex turns his gaze towards them, Sid Leone punts the Highlight at the mid-section. The New Yorker loses grip of the wire with one hand. Mike Mecca then throws his paddle at Hitman Alex, hoping to knock him down like a kite stuck in a tree. He misses, but Chris Capricorn attempts the same with his paddle. He tosses it and successfully hits Alex on the facial features. That was then followed by another kick from Sid Leone. The crowd gasps and jeers in disbelief as Alex accidentally lets go of his hold of the wire and falls down back to the tacked canvas. The Alpha Kappa Omega members then proceed to beat the lifeless body of Hitman Alex. Meanwhile Sid Leone successfully takes the briefcase from the top. He then lets go of his graps of the wires. He plunges down, but gets caught by his AKO brethren. Sid heads on over to Jared seated on the corner and hands him the briefcase. The XWA faithful explodes with boos as they witness this unfair act. Mike Mecca orders one of the ref’s still standing to order for a ring bell. The ref then hesitantly obeys and orders for the end of the match.

DING! DING! DING!

Alpha Kappa Omega then celebrates, overzealous from their achievement in assisting their founder for the victory. The joy in their faces contrast to the disbelieving faces of the audience. Their boos turned, silent, and then back to booing again. “Cut You Down” by Serg Salinas then plays, making it official that Jared Jerusalem’s the victor of these match. Members of Alpha Kappa Omega then lift Jared up with him seating on the shoulders of one of the members. They do the same for Sid Leone, who managed to take the briefcase and Pete Strong, who sacrificed himself in fighting Hitman Alex.

Ted Cedar: NO! THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! THIS IS UNFAIR! HOW DARE YOU CALL THIS MATCH, REF! DISQUALIFY HIM!

Joey Miles: YES! Twenty points to Alpha Kappa Omega! All hail the Great Malevolence! It’s going to be Rob Chapman vs Jared Jerusalem for the Intercontinental Championship! Isn’t this great?

Ted Cedar: Great!? Great!? Hitman Alex had this match won! Then these men come in interfering! God damn it all! Look at Hitman Alex just laying there. Someone help the man! WHERE'S THE JUSTICE IN THIS BUSINESS!?

And the camera then cuts into commercial break.

As the last of the six competitors’ entrance theme faded out to silence all six men found themselves inside the blood red cage. Mark Storey, the last man to enter the ring, dipped under the top rope and into the squared circle as the cage door slammed shut behind him. As each man before him had done, he looked up at the all important briefcase hanging above the ring and drew a deep breath.

Here we find six of the brightest stars on the XWA horizon. Six men who the powers to be deemed ‘sick’ enough to survive inside such hell as the red-walled cage. The idea was simple. Survive. Retrieve the briefcase. Simple in theory, yet the overwhelming sense of how monumental a task that would prove to be filled each man’s mind, their eyes screaming in a mixture of excited anticipation and sheer awe at the task ahead of them.

Ted Cedar: “The six men selected to fight it out to claim the title of XWA’s ‘Sickest’… Jared Jerusalem, Xtreme Icon, Shade, Hitman Alex, Mark Storey and the surprising entry of Kasabian Stalker.”

Joey Miles: “I don’t know who booked this crap and what the Pervert did to deserve a shot at the Intercontinental Title, but here the bastard is. One week in the business and now he is battling it out against some household names. Who does the guy think he is?”

Ted Cedar: “Judging from the looks around the ring, Joey… It looks as if for once, some of the wrestlers in the ring might agree with you. If looks could kill, Kasabian Stalker would be pushing up daisies right now. He stands in the ring with great men; Jared Jerusalem, ‘The’ Extreme Icon, Hitman Alex and of course Mark Storey… I just wonder if the Perverted One realises the caliber of opponents he is standing with right now.”

Joey Miles: “Let the bell ring, he will find out soon enough when they have to scrape his carcass off the mat.”

The six stood dotted around the ring; Jared Jerusalem, Xtreme Icon leaning Hitman Alex and Shade had managed to wisely back themselves into a corner turnbuckle each to start the bout. Jerusalem was busying himself by running his hands through his hair, a confidently cocky pout plastered on his face. Hitman Alex had turned his attention to pumping up the crowd, trying to get the adrenaline flowing through him. Xtreme Icon leant heavily on his trusty cane, gingerly keeping his weight off his freshly injured ankle and casting a frown across at his assailant. Shade simply glared back, shooting daggers at the man who simply would not take a hint. This left only Kasabian Stalker and Mark Storey teetering from foot to foot with paranoid, watchful eyes as they pushed themselves as close to the ring ropes as possible to create the sense of space between them and their blood-hungry opponents.

The tense air grows thicker with each passing second. Fearing that he may not be able to contain these animals for much longer without all hell breaking loose, the zebra striped official calls for the toll of the bell to start the match.

*Ding, Ding, Ding*

Fans rise to their feet as one, an almighty cheer erupting around the arena from the XWA faithful as the match finally gets underway. The first few seconds of the match are filled with each of the men tip-toing gingerly around the masses of thumbtacks that adorn the canvas, until as one, each competitor locks their eyes on their obviously pre-intended target. Kasabain Stalker had backed himself agains the ring rope and feverishly begun to cast his eyes about him to assess the nearest danger. But all five of his opponents begin with the same idea. As one, their eyes turn to the new face, the rookie. As if to send a message, all five men close in on Stalker. The Pervert’s paranoia proves accuracte as five sets of hands claw at his head and drag him away from the ropes.

Being closes to Kasabian, Jared Jerusalem and Shade manage to grab him first and hurl him upwards into a Double Suplex position. As the body of the Pervert rises, the remaining three competitors assist and drilling him into the mat, back first with force. The Pervert bounces off the canvas and rolls onto his stomach before all five begin stomping their mark on the freshly thumbtacked skin of Kasabian’s back. For good measure, Xtreme Icon weilds his cane like a kendo stick, slamming it repeatedly into Stalker’s shoulder blades instead of stomping on him with his bad ankle. The five men ground the fresh faced Pervert into the mat, leaving him a battered mess much to their own collective delight.

Joey Miles: “Looks like the message has been sent. If you want to be in here with these guys, you had damned sure better have earned your spot.”

Ted Cedar: “That was unexpected. You don’t often see such a display of teamwork from nearly all of the competitors in the match. I wonder how long this fragile alliance can last when they consider what is at stake.”

Joey Miles: “I’m guessing here… Not long.”

Almost as if the men had heard the commentary themselves, the mudhole stomping soon turned into anarchy. Kasabian’s body hitting the floor for the first time was just the shot that all needed to awaken the fire inside. It did not take long for that same fire to burn into rage. Never one to back down from a fight, the ‘Toughest SOB in XWA’, Xtreme Icon soon takes the fight up a notch by blindsiding the smaller Jared Jerusalem, dropping him to the canvas beside Kasabian with a brutal One-Armed Neckbreaker, his cane stil firmly clasped in his other hand. Double J’s cries of agony from the thumbtacks finding their mark are drowned out by the squablling from the remaining compeitors that ensued as a result.

All within the space of about three seconds, Mark Storey is turned inside out from a violent Clothesline courtesay of Shade and Hitman Alex turns on the instigator of the violence, Xtreme Icon, driving him head first into a rather large pile of thumbtacks with a DDT and scattering his cane to the far reaches of the ring.

The dust began to settle soon after, revealing the trail of destruction in its wake. Kasabian lay face down, motionless, the flesh of his back reddenned and beginning to welt in between leopard spot-like thumbtacks. Jared Jerusalem was beginning to stir next to him, wondering what had hit him. Mark Storey had rolled over to the wall of the cage from the force of Shade’s Clothesline and Xtreme Icon had too rolled onto his back, revealing a large patch of tacks that had dug themselves into his forehead. This left only Shade and Hitman Alex standing at a vertical base.

Ted Cedar: “You blink and you miss it folks. Once there were six, now there are only two.”

Joey Miles: “That as the shortest alliance in history. Now all hell has broken loose; things are just getting warmed up. These fans paid to see blood, and blood they are going to damned well see.”

As the only two left, Shade and Hitman Alex naturally turn on each other. Shade reaches the Hitman first and whips him away from the warzone, into the corner turnbuckle. He watches as Hitman Alex’s body bounces off the turnbuckle and he groggily begins to wander out of the corner once more. Shade closes the gap between the men with a few big strides and wraps Alex up into his clutches, hoisting his opponent up into a Powerbomb position, before disposing of Alex by drilling him into the turnbuckle.

The Turnbuckle Powerbomb rattles the cage wall itself, the first real test to the structure’s strength. It stands stoically and Hitman Alex’s body crumples to a heap underneath. Shade smiles and flexes his muscles, managing to be the only person to escape the carnage so far.

His celebrations prove to be short lived, as his frame is flung into the air before being discarded to the canvas amongst the wreckage. Jared Jerusalem stands above him in the wake of his Saito Suplex, just waiting for the smallest signs of movement from the masses of bodies scattered about the ring. With nobody else looking as if they are going to be reaching their feet any time soon, Jerusalem carries on the punishment, dragging Shade to his feet once more only to launch the heavyweight into the cage wall with a targeted Dropkick to the chest. Shade falls between the second and top ring ropes, trapping his body between the ropes and the cage wall itself. Jerusalem, in turn, simply takes off running. He bounds into the ropes across the opposite side of the ring before coming back towards Shade at a rate of knots. He flings himself airborne once more, driving a flying knee through Shade’s skull and into the unforgiving steel of the cage wall. Jerusalem bounces off the wall of the cage, landing back first on the canvas in among a pile of thumbtacks. Shade drops to the canvas like a brick, coming to rest in between the bottom rope and the wall of the cage.

Joey Miles: “G.F.Y! Jared Jerusalem lays his body on the line. Jesus H. Christ, where did he come from?”

Ted Cedar: “One minute it looked like Shade was building up a head of steam. The next, Jerusalem comes out of nowhere with a perfectly executed surprise Saito Suplex, then finishes his man off with a brutal flying knee.”

Joey Miles: “Pin him, you bastard! After a shot like that, having his brains rattled up against the cage wall, there’s no way he would kick out.”

Jared manages to scramble to his feet and proceeds to drag Shade’s body away from the cage wall to prepare it for an impending pin. However, his plans never come to fruition, as he is side-tracked by an incoming fist.

The crowd lets out an audible “Oooh” as the Superman Punch connects. Jared Jerusalem had never seen it coming. Even as he fell backwards onto the already downed body of Shade, his eyes were closed and a peaceful look was spread over his face. Xtreme Icon simply directed the dead weight to fall in place, shaking the pain from his fist as he watched J.J. topple backwards. A sadistic smile spread over The Icon’s face, knowing the force he had punched Jerusalem with was more than enough to knock a man out cold.

Joey Miles: “Straight Outta the 406! One doesn’t need two good legs to make that happen! Talk about your skull-crushers. Jared Jerusalem never saw Xtreme Icon coming. The Toughest SOB in XWA just proved to the lightweight how he got his name.”

Ted Cedar: “This is heavy hitting action right from the get go. These men are not pulling their punches at all. We just saw Jared Jerusalem and now Xtreme Icon go straight to some of their bigger moves. And now that Xtreme has him right where wants him, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him turn his attention to Shade.”

Joey Miles: “All of these sick bastards want it, badly; Shade may just have fuelled Icon’s fires. Bad leg or no, he is still the toughest Son of a Bitch in the business. Survival is the name of the game. You have to have eyes in the back of your head. Shade and Jared Jerusalem apparently do not…”

Ted Cedar: “A pattern is emerging. Just as one man builds up a head of steam or a little bit of momentum, he is cut down at the knees. Overconfidence or not, those two men are going to pay the price.”

Xtreme Icon smiles as he drops down to position Jerusalem for a pinfall. The One Man Montana Militia ensures that he pushes Jared’s shoulders to the canvas while he is still lying on top of the fallen Shade. Neither man had made any motion to move, so Xtreme Icon simply pins both of them. The official doesn’t so much as slide into position, moreso carefully avoiding the thumbtacked canvas as he gingerly lowers his body to the canvas.

The crowd rise once more, counting along with the referee.

“1…”

“2…”

Jared Jerusalem is out cold and makes no attempt to kick out. Shade’s eyes, however are open with a mixture of surprise and frustration. The big man pushes as much as his body will let him, but with two men’s bodyweight atop of him even the brutish brawler cannot power out. Both men are sitting ducks for Xtreme Icon’s quick thinking.

“3…”

The referee calls to the timekeeper’s table, announcing the double elimination.

Laura Watts: “Jared Jerusalem and Shade have been eliminated!”

The still unconscious body of Jared Jerusalem makes no protest to the announcement, but Shade is livid. As Xtreme Icon stands up, smiling at his handiwork and amused at getting back at his attacker where it hurts the most, the big man tosses Jerusalem’s carcass off his shoulders and leaps to his feet also. Red-faced and practically foaming at the mouth in rage, Shade ignores the referee’s pleads to exit the cage and attacks Xtreme Icon instead. He lifts him up into a Crucifix Position, marches him forward a few steps before planting him back to the canvas with venom. Xtreme Icon lands in the very same large pile of thumbtacks that had adorned his forehead earlier, spiking into the canvas like a lawn dart before his legs fall flat. Shade snarles, spitting on the downed One Man Montana Militia before turning and finally abiding by the referee’s insitint yelling.

Ted Cedar: “Jared Jerusalem and Shade both eliminated together by Xtreme Icon. It looked as though Shade would have been physically able to kick out if Jerusalem was not also on top of him. Xtreme Icon looks like he got one over on Shade, payback for the assault earlier tonight I presume.”

Joey Miles: “And Shade is pissed about it. Taking his frustration out on the very man who screwed him. Why not, too?”

Ted Cedar: “About the biggest Godless Wrath I have seen, full of hatred and cold-blooded violence. He was elminated, fair and square. He should accept it, move on and get out of the ring as the rules instruct. Instead, Shade has to go and take his frustrations out…”

Joey Miles: “Oh, come on Cedar. The guy was screwed. Xtreme Icon knows it, and Shade knows it. He was just letting his feelings be heard. And my god, were they ever!”

The cage door unlocks for the first time. Jerusalem and Shade are escorted outside of its blood-red walls before the door is once more shut and locked; the four remaining combatants left to survive for themselves once more.

With nobody left in the ring on their feet, it takes a while before any bodies begin to stir. Already, the match had inflicted damage on all of the men involved and already we had seen two eliminations within the blink of an eye. Eventually, some life is seen from within the blood-red cage. On one side of the ring, Kasabian Stalker pushes himself to a vertical base, smiling and licking his lips as he pulls out a collection of thumbtacks from his shoulder and watches the now unplugged holes flow with a familiar crimson liquid.

Across the ring from him, Mark Storey also rises, using the ring ropes to pull himself up. Scanning the ring, they naturally target each other and wind up locking horns near the center of the ring. Mark Storey is the first to swing, landing a right hand that rocks the still recovering Stalker back a few steps. Kasabian replies in kind, his punch landing more half-heartedly and simply inviting Storey to repeat the process. As second, then a third strike from the ‘Dexterous Deviator’ send the Perverted One reeling into the ring ropes and see his back pushed up agains the cold steel. Storey steps back for a moment, creating a few feet of space between the men in preparation for an incoming assault. However, as he raises his arms above his head, the life begins to return to Kasabian’s eyes. With a twinkle, Kasabian stretches his own hands out and aims for Mark’s exposed chest. With pinpoint accuracy, the Pervert finds his mark, grabbing each of Storey’s nipples and twisting them for all that they are worth. The howl that escapes Mark Storey’s mouth is more warewolf than human, his hands instinctively shooting down to attempt to wrench his chesticles from Kasabian’s clutches.

Joey Miles: “Rule number one, never expose your chest to the Pervert. He wil likely tear your damned nipples off. What twisted mind decides that as the first port of call for a stable offense?”

Ted Cedar: “I will give him that, he is predictably unpredictable. Mark Storey’s nipples find out the hard way.”

Joey Miles: “If I were him, I would weather the storm and stop trying to pull Kasabian’s hands off. He’s likely to rip a freaking nipple clean off if he’s not careful.”

Three quick elbow strikes to the side of Kasabian’s head prove to be enough to break the hold. Nipples purpled and swollen, he hoists Kasabian onto the second rope, feet first. Grabbing the Pervert’s head under his arm with a grunt, he steps away from the ropes until Kasabian is hung parallel and in place. Storey drops to the mat, driving Kasabian’s skull into the canvas with a Rope-hung DDT. With Kasabian disposed of, Mark Storey casts a weary eye around him, looking for signs of life. He notices Hitman Alex busy clawing his way back to his feet, groggy and shakily stepping away from the turnbuckle while holding the back of his head.

Before he knows what is happening, Mark Storey is upon him. All the Hitman can do to react is lock horns with the Northern Irishman. He soon finds himself swept away from the security of the corner and dancing across the ring in a Collar and Elbow tie. The pair tango back and forth, without either one of them truly getting an upper hand. A Suplex is attempted by Mark Storey, but blocked by Alex before he can get him over his shoulder. The reverse also shown true, as Hitman Alex tries to hoist Sotrey onto his shoulders but is blocked by Mark’s leg intertwining with his own.

The back and forth continues for some time, culminating with Hitman Alex taking Storey down with a simple Arm Drag takedown, only to have the Belfast native resurface moments later and drop Storey with a Drop Toe Hold. Both men battle their way back across the ring until they bump into the corner turnbuckle opposite where Alex had earlier been decimated by Shade.

It is only when they reach the turnbuckle that the pair feel the presence of a third party. Breathing heavily behind them, chest heaving with pain-filed breaths, Kasabian Stalker is once more on his feet and eying up both men. Both Story and Hitman Alex cast a disapproving eye over the intruder and Kasabian follows turn by simply running his hands seductively down his torso and licking his lips. The seduction is short-lived, however, as Kasabian uses the split-second distraction to hit both men with a Double Clothesline that forces both of them back first against the ring ropes.

As Kasabian’s actions require an equal reaction, both Storey and Hitman Alex soon rebound off the ropes with a pair of Clotheslines of their own. Kasabian is struck from both sides, squashing him in the center of a sweaty man-sandwich. He crumples like an accordian and falls to the mat once more, leaving Hitman Alex and Mark Storey exactly where they left off.

Ted Cedar: “Kasabian Stalker keeps trying to get involved in this match, and he keeps getting put down for his efforts. To be fair, the man has not really uttered much of an offense so far.”

Joey Miles: “Why bother? These men are happy destroying each other. Kasabian is happy sleeping it off like a night’s binge drinking.”

Ted Cedar: “You might wel be right there Joey, twice in one night. There is no incentive to mount a high risk offense when the rest of your opponents are capable of taking each other out.”

A particularly large Discus Forearm to the face of Mark Storey sends ‘The Fallen First’ reeling into the turnbuckle once more. Hitman Alex seizes the opportunity, sitting his opponent onto the turnbuckle before climbing the rungs himself and picking Storey up to his feet. Without much futher ado, he flicks Mark Storey over his hips and the pair hurtle back towards the mat again in a Superplex.

The sound of both bodies crashing into the thumbtacked canvas echoes out around the arena. Hitman Alex is soon on his feet once more, the Superplex keeping Storey down and out while he surveys his options. The Show Stealer looks at the turnbuckle again, listening to the roar of approval from the crowd that follows. With a cocky smile, the Hitman climbs to the top once again. He looks down at the body of Mark Storey still on the canvas. Appealing to the crowd to roar even louder, ‘the Highlight’ takes to the air. He touches his hands to his feet while in the air, a picture perfect example of hgis patented Falcon Splash. The only thing that does not go as planned is Mark Storey staying in position.

Running on fumes and instincts alone, Storey leaps to his feet as Hitman’s high risk manouver loks to hit its mark. Alex has no power to stop his momentum and soars directly into the waiting clutches of his opponent. Mark Storey catches Hitman by the head as he falls, dropping him into a patented move of his own, his MAS. Hitman bounces once, his body launchig off into the air a little before coming to land a second time, motionless.

Ted Cedar: “Falcon Splash… No! Caught by Mark Storey… MAS! MAS! What a beautifully executed move by Mark Storey.”

Joey Miles: “Just when we had the bastard counted down and out. He knocks Hitman Alex into next week!”

Storey collapses once more, rolling the body of Hitman Alex up into a pin with the last of his energy. The referee crawls into place again, being careful not to prick himself with the masses of thumbtacks still scattered over the canvas.

“One…”

“Two…”

“Three…”

Again, the referee calls to the timekeeper’s table and announces the elimination.

Laura Watts: “Hitman Alex has been eliminated!”

By the time Mark Storey has the energy to stand again, the chorus of boos that accompanied The Highlight’s elimination had begun to die down. The three remaining men by now are all feeling the effects of the high powered match. Storey is first to reach his feet, but followed soon after by Kasabian and Xtreme Icon. The final three gladiators size each other up, but it is Xtreme Icon who makes the first move. He soon has his hands on Kasabian Stalker, quickly getting the upper hand in their skirmish and holding the Pervert by the shoulders. He readies his skull, thumbtacks still embedded in the flesh and lines up the shiny, baby-oiled forehead of the Pervert as a target. With a snarl, he lashes forward with his head and headbutts Kasabian, a clank of metal meeting skin accomanying as the thumbtacks on his own forehead crash into Kasabian’s skull. A second, then a third headbut brings Kasabian to his knees, prime for the picking. Mark Storey by now had decided to let the Icon go for it, and uses the extra time given to recuperate, his hands on his knees as he sucks his lungs full of precious oxygen. Xtreme Icon locks in a headlocks, looking to get the Pervert to tap out. As the pressure is applied, Kasabian’s face reddens, as would be expected. However, Kasabian simply smiles, jutting a tongue out of his mouth and licking his lips once more. He begs Xtreme Icon to “make it harder”, the perplexed Icon simply obliges and tightens the headlock unti Kasabian’s face turns a better shade of purple.

His face purple with lack of poxygen, Kasabian’s eyes still posssess a twinkle. Before his body passes out, he reaches a hand up behind him, then a second. Kasabian’s palms expertly find their target, and he clamps shut his hands on Icon’s butt-cheeks. The surprise alone is anough to cause Icon to drop the headlock, but Kasabian’s butt-grope continues regardless. Xtreme Icon retreats, violation filling his face and backs away across the ring, right into Storey’s arms.

Mark Storey simply lifts Xtreme Icon up onto his shoulders before dropping him back down to earth once more, his knees waiting for the incoming System Shock.

Joey Miles: “Did Kasabian just… Grope Xtreme Icon?”

Ted Cedar: “I… Yes, I think he may have. Effective in breaking the hold, nonetheless. Xtreme Icon was so shocked that he walked straight into Mark Storey’s clutches.”

Joey Miles: “And he was System Shocked with all the force of a two tonne truck!”

Mark Storey pins Xtreme Icon, the referee once more in position to count the fall.

“One…”

“Two…”

“Thr… No!”

Xtreme Icon kicks out of the pin fall at the very last moment, the referee holding up two fingers to confirm, much to Mark Storey’s disgust. He protests, but the protest is cut short by a certain Pervert stamping his mark on the momentum of the match. Kasabian had seized the opportunity to hurl Mark Storey to his feet from behind him. He grabs him by the waist, pushing his pelvis in place behind Storey ever so slowly, savouring the moment. Then, with a snap of the hips, Kasabian wrenches him into a German Suplex. With no opponents left to fight standing up, Kasabian too takes to the mat.

He targets Mark Storey, lining him up and grabbing him by the wrist. Kasabian wraps his leg around Mark Storey’s neck, locking in a Gogoplata that instantly sees Storey gurgling and gasping for air. His own face reddens, his eyes screaming out in pain. With a free hand, Kasabian reaches beside him and grabs a hand full of thumbtacks. As Storey’s face reddens even further, Kasabian takes one of the thumbtacks and drives it into the Northern Irishman’s forehead. A second, then a third thumbtack follows suit, each on receiving a fresh yelp of pain from Mark Storey. Kasabian grunts with a mixture of effort and excitement as he applies more pressure to his submission hold.

Ted Cedar: “Kasabian takes control, finally. The move he calls ‘The Meat Grinder’… I sure wouldn’t want him that close to me.”

Joey Miles: “If that wasn’t enough, the sick bastard is busy making Mark Storey his personal pin-cushion. That is three, four, maybe five thumbtack he has now driven into Storey’s skul.”

Ted Cedar: “This is pure brutality!”

It does not take much longer before the pain simply becomes too much for Mark Storey. Even as the officials are busy across the ring helping Hitman Alex from the ring, Mark Storey’s hand is busy tapping his submission onto Kasabian’s knee. Kasabian continues the hold until the referee makes the decision official, calling once more for the timekeeper’s desk.

Laura Watts: “Mark Storey has been eliminated, via submission… Your final two. Kasabian Stalker and Xtreme Icon!”

As soon as the official call is made for Story’s elimination, Xtreme Icon is ready and hobbling over to Kasabian on his injured leg. On his way over, he stoops to ick up his trusty cane, discarded earlier in the match. With the cane in one hand, he wraps Kasabian in a Half Nelson and yanks him to his feet. Sliding the cane underneath Kasabian’s throat, Xtreme Icon switches the grasp he has on the Pervert to a Full Nelson by locking both of his hands behind Kasabian’s head. The Pervert gasps for air, struggling and flailing about as the cane drives home into his oesophagus.

The One Man Montana Militia tosses Kasabian left, then right, around like a rag doll. With the Pervert running short of breath, the veins pulsing at his temple, Xtreme Icon finally tosses Stalker aside to the mat. Icon raises the cane above his head, bringing it down over the back of Kasabian’s neck and shoulders with a crack. As he raises it a second time, Kasabian’s fists desperately flail about on the canvas, scooping up a fist full of thumbtacks from the seemingly everlasting supply. As the Toughest SOB in XWA raises his hands to swing a second time, Kasabian takes a tack between his thumb and forefinger, driving it upwards. He catches the Xtreme Icon in the scrotum of his trunks from below and Icon howls agonisingly in response.

Ted Cedar: “Kasabian Stalker just attacked Xtreme Icon’s family jewels with a thumbtack. Is there nothing that is taboo to this guy?”

Joey Miles: “Haha! He got him right in the balls. The Toughest SOB in XWA didn’t seem so tough when he was having his testicles punctures by a thumbtack!”

Ted Cedar: “A desperation move from a desperate man. Even with one bad leg, Xtreme Icon seems to be running rings around Kasabian Stalker.”

As Xtreme Icon hops about on his good leg, pre-occupied with his newfound injury, Kasabian slinks off into the background. The Pervert heads for the wall of the cage, lumbering along as fast as his battered and bruised body would take him. Running on adrenaline, Stalker begins to climb the wall, hoping to get out of the reach of his opponent before Icon realises what is going on. He has no such luck as Icon soon turns around and spots the clambering Pervert just above waist height off the canvas.

By the time Xtreme Icon had managed to hobble across the ring, Kasabian was nearing shoulder height. He grabs Kasabian with both hands and wrenches his hands free of the cage wall. As slowly as Kasabian had begun his climb, Xtreme Icon Powerbombs him back to earth at a million miles an hour, nearly driving the Pervert’s oiled up body through the canvas itself.

It is the opening that Xtreme Icon needed, and he capitalises on it as best he can. Turning around, he begins climbing the cage himself. He makes slow, lop-sided progress up the blood-red wall, his bad leg holding him back severely. As close as he can come to winning, it appears that shades of Shade’s pre-match assault would have lasting effects after all. Kasabian Stalker’s frame had begun to rise by the time Xtreme Icon was only half way up the cage wall. The Pervert pulls himself up using the second ring rope to aid him. Wearily, shakily, he takes his feet. Then, with all the strength he can muster, Stalker looks up and swats at Xtreme Icon’s escaping feet, narrowly missing.

Ted Cedar: “Big Powerbomb by Xtreme Icon, but it looks like that injured leg is really holding him back.”

Joey Miles: “He can’t win if he can’t climb the damned cage.”

Ted Cedar: “These two men are beginning to look to the heavens. Fatigued, exhausted, battered and broken… Now that the Intercontinental Championship comes into focus, this is getting really real.”

Joey Miles: “Right you are, Cedar… Shit just got real.”

Kasabian begins to climb the cage himself, scaling the heights a little faster than what his opponent can muster. When he is within an arm’s reach, he swats at Icon’s feet once more. This time, he catches him on his bad ankle and pulls it free of the cage wall. This causes Xtreme Icon to yelp in pain and his body comes crashing into the wall harshly. Kasabian takes the small window of opportunity to catch up in the climb. Soon, both men are nearing the top of the cage and reaching for the X-Frame wires that cross above.

Keen to get the weight off his bad ankle, Xtreme Icon is the first to leap to the overhead wires, holding on tightly until his knuckles go white. Like a child on the monkey bars at school, he soon swings out of Kasabian’s reach and the Pervert is forces to grab onto the overhead wire as well. Instead of trying to race Xtreme Icon to the briefcase and subsequent contract, Kasabian swings for Icon with his body, locking him in a Body Scissors. With his legs locked in place, Kasabian lets go of the frame and grabs a hold of his opponent’s shoulders, clutching at him like a monkey on his back. Xtreme Icon looks determined to continue on and tries his earnestly to shake the monkey free, but Kasabian instead frees a hand from his opponent’s shoulders. He slides down Xtreme Icon’s body until his hands are at about waist height. With one foul swoop, Kasabian grabs with both hands and locks in a Testicular Claw. Xtreme Icon’s eyes pop open and his mouth lets out another yelp of agony. His hands instantly let go of the framing and both men crash down to the canvas below once more, Kasabian landing on top of Xtreme Icon.

Joey Miles: “Testicular claw! Man, Xtreme Icon’s groin is really getting a work out tonight!”

Ted Cedar: “Kasabian Stalker does seem to have a larger testicular-based offense than the regular wrestler…”

Joey Miles: “Testicular based offense? Come-on, Ted… Did you just make a joke?”

Ted Cedar: “No jokes Joey, I’ll leave that up to you. What else do you call Kasabian’s seeming obsession with Xtreme Icon’s trunks?”

Joey Miles: “Testicular-based offense.”

Mounting Xtreme Icon, Kasabian begins to pull thumbtacks out of his opponent’s forehead, delighting in the ‘Toughest SOB’ squirming underneath him. As fresh blood flows from fresh puncture marks, Kasabian licks his lips and balls his fists. He berates Icon’s skull with a fresh barrage of left and right fists momentarily before Icon seems to lapse into unconsciousness. With his opponent lifeless, motionless, he stands, looking over at the turnbuckle lustfully.

Kasabian limps over to the turnbuckle, taking his time to climb the heights. Once on the top turnbuckle, Kasabian looks out over the capacity crowd, jeering and booing at him. A smile spreads on his face as his hands once again begin to feel their way up and down Kasabian’s own oiled up body. He gyrates his hips and blows a set of kisses in the direction of his downed opponent before his eyes narrow into a glare. He leaps off the turnbuckle, aiming his infamous People’s Penis splash from the top rope. Soaring through the air like poetry in motion, he looks to land directly atop his opponent. However, when he is mere inches away from landing the move, Xtreme Icon brings his feet up and Monkey Flips Kasabian clean across the ring, so that he crashes back first into the waiting cage wall.

Ted Cedar: “The People’s Penis, seen for the first time in XWA… But reversed expertly by Xtreme Icon!”

Joey Miles: “The one-legged man might actually do this. That was one hell of a landing, that cage wall doesn’t forgive anything.”

Icon stands to his feet, hobbling over to Kasabian, his limp larger than ever. Icon looks to put Kasabian away, hooking both of Kasabian’s arms up in a Double Underhook. He lifts Kasabian up in the air, eagerly to finish the Pervert off with an H-Factor, but as he reaches the pinnacle of the move, his leg gives way and he brings Kasabian back safely to the canvas once more. Kasabian uses the momentum of the failed move to transition the pair into a Cradle DDT of his own. He drives Xtreme Icon head first into the canvas, much to the dismay of the crowd.

The pair wind up in a crumpled heap, Kasabian’s Cradle DDT the lease of life he needed to get back into the match. Stalker strokes Xtreme Icon’s hair almost lovingly as the embrace of the Cradle DDT is still held. Once he had recovered enough to drag himself to his feet, he stands and shuffles off towards the cage wall once more.

Ted Cedar: “Kasabian Stalker looks exhausted. He looks absolutely spent. I am not sure if either of these men are actually in a state to climb the cage wall.”

Joey Miles: “Survival of the sickest Cedar. Whoever survives will win. This is where the survival becomes that much more important.”

Kasabian reaches the cage wall and begins to climb, heaving huge breaths as he drags dead arms and legs over each other to make slow progress skywards. Inevitably, as Kasabian’s body had forced him to take so long in getting up the cage wall, Xtreme Icon stirs while he is still part-way up the cage wall. With all the strength left in his body, Xtreme Icon pushes himself to his feet. His forehead is bleeding freely from an array of gashes on his forehead, his body equally as battered and broken as Kasabians, and his leg in absolute agony. But, the Toughest SOB in XWA pushes on through the pain and climbs after Kasabian.

Xtreme Icon climbs just high enough to grab at Kasabian’s lowest foot. When the foot is within reach, he swipes at it, looking to drag the Pervert off the cage wall once more and back down to earth, but Kasabian kicks out instinctively and catches him ever so slightly on the back of the head, well timed enough to cause the One Man Montana Militia to lose his footing, then lose his hand holds on the cage wall. Xtreme Icon plummets downwards, feet first. His injured leg falls first, sliding in between the top and second rope as he falls, effectively tangling the rope around his leg as it twists around itself and trapping him in place. He tries to pull himself free of the rope but it holds firm and he goes nowhere. As Kasabian Stalker continues to slowly claw his way out of the cage, Xtreme Icon can but watch; his ankle too sore to unwind from the confines of the ring-rope prison it has trapped itself within.

Ted Cedar: “Xtreme Icon is stuck, his leg trapped in between the ropes. And Kasabian Stalker continues to climb, ever so slowly… Hand over hand. One foot at a time.”

Joey Miles: “That oily bastard. He’s been beaten up, battered and bruised all match. He watched as man after man was eliminated, and now he finds himself within an arms reach of the briefcase… And Xtreme Icon can do nothing about it but yell abuse at him from below.”

Ted Cedar: “Survival of the Sickest. Kasabian is one sick individual, and he is proving just how much of a survivor he is too.”

Eventually, Kasabian reaches the top of the cage. Gingerly, he swings himself onto the overhead wires once more. Hand over hand, he inches forward. His face is full of pain as he claws ever closer to the briefcase, his arms threatening to pull themselves out of the sockets. But reach the briefcase he does. With the crowd screaming for Xtreme Icon, egging the ‘Toughest SOB in XWA’ to pull himself free, Kasabian reaches a hand out and brushes his fingers against the case for the first time.

All the chanting in the world cannot free Xtreme Icon’s leg from its trap. Kasabian glances down momentarily, to find his opponent still trapped well below. The agony on his face turns into a euphoric smile as he realises the magnitude of his situation. Reaching out with one hand, he unhooks the briefcase, clutches it to his chest and falls to the mat below. Jeering and boos rain down over the arena as the implications become clear. Kasabian Stalker had outlasted all. The Pervert was officially the Number One contender for the Intercontinental Championship, fast-tracking his battle to the top in just his second match in XWA.

*DING, DING, DING*

Laura Watts: “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner and number one contender for the Intercontinental Championship… The Pervert… Kasabian Stalker!”

‘Bones’ by The Killers begins to thump out over the arena, the cheesy synthesiser a swansong for the Pervert himself, just in case anybody had missed the result of the match. Kasabian simply gathers the briefcase and walks over to where Xtreme Icon stands, foot still trapped in between the ring ropes. He stands just outside of Icon’s reach, pelvic thrusting his new briefcase and biting his bottom lip in the direction of the XWA legend.

Ted Cedar: “I see it, but I am not quite sure I can believe it. Kasabian Stalker will be facing Rob Chapman for the Intercontinental Championship.”

Joey Miles: “He had better be ready for the Pervert, Cedar. This is one sick bastard. Not in the mentally deranged way that we are used to in this business. Kasabian Stalker brings all sorts of new types of crazy to the mix. Can you imagine him as a champion? What fun we would have around here.”

Ted Cedar: “I shudder to think… It would be a very dark day for the wrestling world. But, tonight is over. Kasabian has his time to shine. Your briefcase winner… Kasabian Stalker.”

Kasabian raises the briefcase above his head, licking the mixture of sweat, blood and baby oil off his lips while he smiles. After all that had transpired, the Pervert had proven to all that he is the ‘Sickest Man in XWA’.

I'm not going to be able to show this time around, new job and I'm working all day Saturday, as I did today.

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M1.) Survival Of The Sickest - #1 Contendership For The XWA Intercontinental Championship

M1.) Survival Of The Sickest - #1 Contendership For The XWA Intercontinental Championship

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