Joey Miles
"Here we go, hell yeah, battle of the boobs at last! Tits Mcgee versus Breastarina! Which rack is bigger? Which rack is better? Which rack is REAL? We are about to find out."

Ted Cedar
"What are you yammering about? I doubt we'll find out about any of that in this contest, Joey. This is a wrestling match not a tits off."

Joey Miles
"It'd be a lot better and a lot quicker if it was, though."

Ted Cedar
"That's beside the point. Both have been blessed with great boobs, but the last few weeks have not been a blessing for Wolverina. She was utterly decimated by her Cyberslam opponent Kayleena Parks not once but twice in a string of humiliating defeats, and last week Lumber Jill scored a count out victory to add to it all. And earlier tonight, in case some of you missed it, when Wolverina showed up to the arena she wound up pimp slapping Brian Johnson into oblivion after receiving that 'gift' of a t-shirt from Kayleena Parks."

Joey Miles
"I'm pretty sure that ruffled some feathers backstage, and now we have Razor's girlfriend out here to make Wolfie pay the penalty for laying hands on staff. Although, honestly, I don't blame her for doing it; that arrogant ass was sexually harassing the shit out of her. Oh well, meh, let the brawling of the breasts beeeeeeegin!"

DING! DING! DING!

The voluptuous ladies stand opposite covers of each other and their demeanour couldn't be more contrasting. On one side there is the ever confident Candy Kane, surety of victory written in every line of her bodacious body, her face a display of gray paint, cherry red lipstick, and eyes with heavy black eyeliner that gives her the appearance of what would happen if a raccoon and a clown made love and produced offspring. Her leggings and overall attire is red and black, with platinum tresses dangling in ponytails. On the other end of the spectrum is Wolverina dressed in her regular white and black American Gladiator style attire, with long black boots that meet her black knee pads.. Her orbs are unsettled and distant, void of their usual spark and liveliness. Instead of riling the fans up in her usual energized way, she remains stoic in her corner, fists clenched tightly at her sides, ready to pummel her adversary into smithereens. Tonight she would send a message to Kayleena Parks at Candy's expense.

Candy Kane steps from her corner first and beckons her opponent to meet her in the middle. Wolfie's emotions spill out like a red fog over the canvas, a primal yell erupting, and she lunges toward Kane with her claws at the ready. Razor's sperm spittoon has baited her and counters by sending an overhand right into the side of Wolverina's face. The strike comes too fast for the Nebraskan to avoid and for the referee to see the  illegality of it. Kane's toned and luscious legs move expertly into the next phase. An inside leg kick buckles the People's Princess off pace, a loud “smack” coming with the contact. An outside leg kick follows and it sends the fan favorite hobbling back against the ropes. Razor's crabshack feints another kick that draws Wolfie into a bid to block it, but keeps spinning and brings a backfist against the woman's tender, unprotected visage. Candy flaunts her heralded speed and technique by swiftly spinning into the opposite direction and blasting her foxy foe with a elbow to the nose, Jon “Bones” Jones style. Wolverina tries to muddle a defense but Candy's fingers suddenly entwine behind Wolverina's noggin and the Californian jerks her skull downward, face first into her awaiting knee. Candy smiles as she feels the cartilage crunch under the pressure of the blow, and lets “Kayleena's bitch” fall to the canvas. Sporting a hearty smile, Kane places her boot upon the good-doer's face and gives it a thorough rubbing, her lips widening upon finding a generous smearing of blood in her boot's wake. And with that, she gut punts Wolfie under the bottom rope to the outside.

Ted Cedar
“Wolfie is bleeding! Boy I tell you what, Kayleena has softened up Wolverina big time, and Jill only added last week with her assault on the nimble Nebraskan’s legs, which Candy smartly took advantage of just now.”

Joey Miles
“At least she's bleeding from the nose and not somewhere else.”

As the referee's count rises so to does the double tough fan favorite, much to Kane's dislike. Razor's slut bucket leans through the top two ropes and mouths off to her adversary. ”Just take the count out like you did last week, girlie. You don't want any more of this. Ohterwise, after I beat you senseless I'll buy you off your owner, Kayleena Parks, for a pack of gum and make you my personal little bitch.” Kane's insults only serve to strengthen Wolfie's resolve and the Nebraskan roasrs back with a sweeping roundhouse kick under the bottom rope, which clips Candy's feet out from under her. The People's Princess grabs her feet and drags her to the outside with her, whereupon she keeps the girl's legs held at her sides and drops onto her back, catapulting Candy Kane into the barricade. Wolfie wipes the helping of hemoglobin from her sniffer and carries on, hefting her evil doing foe up and hurling her into the squared hell. Following suit, Wolfie enters and nearly decapitates Candy with a charging lariat. Candy stupidly gets back up before her brain and body can agree upon it and down she goes again with the same move. This time she stays down longer but the competitive side of her lends her enough strength to amble back to her feet. Wolfie is waiting for her and speeds forward with a mighty drop kick, but at the last nano second Kane moves out of the way and the wimpy ref gets blasted in the face, knocking him out.

Looking to take advantage, Candy Kane makes a quick run at Wolverina, but the fan favoreite scoops her up and drives her sicekeningly into the canvas with a power slam that would garner a smile from Lex Luger himself. She pins and hooks the leg, but no ref is there to make the call. As though on cue, which of course is exactly the case, Wolfie's arch nemesis Kayleena Parks comes sauntering down the aisle twirling that offensive “Property of Kayleena Parks” shirt overhead. Wolverina quickly tosses Candy out of the ring and begins BEGGEING Parks to enter the squared hell to do battle. Kayleena, instead, chooses to trash talk her for a bit, which allows Candy Kane to sneak around and grab a steel chair before re-entering the ring behind Wolfie. Kane raises the black, metallic instrument of maiming high above her head and charges at the Nebraskan. Luckily for Wolfie, she senses the impending threat in enough time to move out of the way, allowing Candy's downward swing to land against the top rope, which in turn wallops her right back in the face. Candy goes stumbling back cartoonishly only to get obliterated by Wolfie's signature Super Kick.

Ted Cedar
“Goodnes Gracious! She nailed it! Candy Kane is out.”

Joey Miles
“Wolfie just raped Candy's face with that kick. Holy Shit on a stick!”

Wolverina flops atop her destroyed opponent just as the referee becomes awake enough to count the 1-2-3!!!!

DING! DING! DING!

Wolfie rolls off Candy and tries to get to her feet before Kayleena does something mean but she is too late. Parks drills Wolverina in the head with that lethal kick of hers and renders the fan favorite utterly annihilated. To add insult to injury, Kayleena puts the offensive shirt on Wolverina for all to see.  Then, if that wasn't enough, Kayleena hols up a finger to say “wait a minute” and rolls outside the ring. She scours the underskirt of the ring before pulling out a branding iron and lighting it on fire. She returns to the ring, rolls Wolfie on her tummy, then yanks down the Nebraskan's pants attire exposing the woman's thong clad perfect ass. From there, Kayleena does the unthinkable and presses the hot iron against Wolfie's bare butt cheek, forever branding her with the intials “K.P.” (Kayleena Parks). The searing pain and burning flesh is enough to awaken Kayleena's victim, but Wolfie quickly succumbs to the unfathomable affliction and passes out.

Security floods the ring and tackles the deranged Parks and escorts her away while EMTs check on Wolverina.