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 The Pirate vs. Candyman Sr.

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PostSubject: The Pirate vs. Candyman Sr.   The Pirate vs. Candyman Sr. EmptyThu Jun 18, 2020 8:25 pm

No Word Limit

No throwing you opponent over the top rope

Deadline is July 4th 15:00 (3:00PM) BST

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PostSubject: Re: The Pirate vs. Candyman Sr.   The Pirate vs. Candyman Sr. EmptyThu Jul 02, 2020 8:03 pm

We return from a commercial after the opening contest that definitely absolutely happened before this. What are you talking about? There was definitely a match before this one. Shut up. TJ is there, as usual, sitting in the second row by himself. Lonely bastard. However he's got the chair in front of him turned around and has some sort of laptop set up on it, and he's writing something, oh boy is he writing something. Look at him go!

Suddenly the dulcet tones of one who loves his father very much hit the PA system and The Candyman (senior) starts jogging to the ring. A crack pipe is hanging out of his mouth and some marijuana leaves fall out the back of his coat as he runs.

Dean: "This next match is set for one fall with a 13 and a half minute time limit! Introducing first: weighing 154,675 grams, The Candymaaan, SENIOR!"

Candyman Sr makes his way over to TJ and offers him a syringe full of heroin. TJ looks up for a second before shaking his head no. Candyman Sr holds out a bag of cocaine instead. TJ ignores him.

Dean: "Drugs are bad, kids."

Turd: "Man, talk about Cocaine Foster."

Candyman Sr eventually gives up and rolls into the ring. He takes one more hit of his crack before throwing at TJ. He misses badly.

Next a lively sea shanty begins to play and The Pirate appears up in the nosebleeds. He takes a swig of off-brand coconut rum before untying a rope that was conveniently tied to the railing and leaping off. He swings down all the way to the ring. However he overshoots the ring by a lot and ends up taking a bump into the empty chairs. He's okay though and quickly scrambles into the ring.

Dean: "Introducing next, from the high seas, weighing significantly less, the one, the only, The Pirate!"

Turd: "Man is Pirate gonna be okay after taking that tumble?"

Dean: "Something tells me yes."

Pirate is clearly fighting through some pain but stares down Candyman Sr from across the ring. Candyman walks up and offers him some weed for his pain. Pirate looks at him quizzically before taking the pot. He walks over the corner to inspect it, make sure it's pure and fresh...and candyman attacks him from behind! The reefer goes flying as Candyman Sr starts stomping and pounding on the back of The Pirate.


Dean: "A crafty move from the wily veteran!

Turd: "That's what Pirate deserves for not paying for his weed!"

Candyman Sr Body Slams The Pirate and then goes to the top rope. He jumps off and does like 7 flips but Pirate gets the knees up and Candyman is sent careening over into the corner. Pirate gets up but holds his back. Candyman sells like death for like 10 seconds but once Pirate looks like he's okay he kips up like it was nothing. They have a staredown and Pirate goes to lock up. Then he stops.

Dean: "What?"

Turd: "He's frozen!"

Candyman is awestruck as Pirate seems to be frozen in time. The Speed must have kicked in. He circles around and waves in front of his face. Nothing. He tries to move Pirate, to no avail, he is stuck. Meanwhile the camera pans over to TJ. He has finally stopped typing, and is deep in thought about something, mumbling something about "fucking writer's block, man". Eventually he pulls out his phone and starts looking something up. He sits there reading for a few moments as Candyman stands there bewildered, trying to figure out some way to move his opponent. Eventually TJ closes his phone and begins to type again...and suddenly The Pirate can move again! He catches Candyman off guard and grabs him around the waist. It takes a great heave but Pirate hits a German Suplex on the big man. He then goes up to the top rope himself as Candyman Sr is getting up. Pirate leaps, throwing finger-guns out into the nonexistant crowd, and hits the Flying Pirate onto the Candyman Sr! He makes the cover...



Candyman kicks out!

Dean: "Oh man I thought that was it!"

Turd: "This one's a slobberknocker!"

Dean: "Don't say that, it's copyrighted. But watch out for Candyman's slobber, it might be corrosive."

The Pirate picks up Candyman and goes for his finish. He sets up for a powerbomb and hooks both arms. But Candyman won't go up. Pirate just isn't strong enough. He tries again, but Candyman Sr just won't go up. The Pirate looks over at TJ, concerned. TJ holds up one finger, as if telling him to wait a second, continuing to type with the other hand. Suddenly, Candyman Sr wriggles free and nails Pirate with a Palm Strike to the face! As Pirate wobbles back and forth, Candyman grabs him and sets up for his own finish. He hooks the swashbuckler up for the Package Piledriver and lifts him up, but Pirate starts wriggling around and kicking his feet, trying to escape. Eventually Candyman Sr drops him, and The Pirate manages to his a desparation Superkick, bringing his opponent to one knee.

Dean: "Pirate is lucky to get out of that piledriver there."

Turd: "Yeah I wouldn't trust Candyman Sr to piledrive me either."

The Pirate grabs Candyman Sr and reaches into his coat, that he's still wearing in the ring, cause he's on drugs. After fishing around for a moment, he pulls out a syringe. He looks closely at it...Steroids, perfect! He quickly pops the cap off and jams the needle into his arm, pushing the hammer all the way in. After handing the used needle to the referee to be properly disposed of, Pirate tries hooking Candyman up again, and this time he has no trouble getting the double underhook and lifting his opponent into the air. He holds it for a second, then drops Candyman Sr right on his knees with the Mutiny! He hooks the leg for the cover...





Dean: "Here is your winner, The Pirate!"

Turd: "Huh, I guess drugs are good for you after all."

Dean: "Do drugs, kids."

Pirate celebrates for a bit as his music plays but then asks for a mic.

Pirate: "ARR! The Pirate be here for one thing and one thing only...TREASURE! And the greatest treasure of them all is the Real Hardcore Championship! So let it be known t'the winner of the match tonight that ye be marked with the black spot. Davey Michaels ye Scallywag! Nugget Man ye Landlubber! The Pirate be comin for you!"

The Pirate walks up the ramp and leaves. The show goes on.

TJ stops typing.
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PostSubject: Re: The Pirate vs. Candyman Sr.   The Pirate vs. Candyman Sr. EmptyTue Jul 07, 2020 3:25 am

The Pirate 2020


Favorite Current Wrestlers:
1. Daniel Bryan
2. Becky Lynch
3. Sasha Banks
4. Andrade Cien Almas
5. Aleister Black

Favorite All-Time Wrestlers:
1. The Undertaker
2. CM Punk
3. Edge
4. Stone Cold Steve Austin
5. John Cena
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