Overall Results

Pre-Show Match #1:
WWE Tag Team Championship - Fatal Fourway Tag Team Match
Tyson Kidd & Cesaro (C) vs. The New Day (Kofi Kingston & Big E) vs. Los Matadores (Diego & Fernando) vs. The Usos (Jimmy & Jey Uso)
Winners: Tyson Kidd & Cesaro (C)

Pre-Show Match#2:
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
A Bunch of Wrestlers (I ain't listing them all )
Winner: Big Show

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Match 1:
WWE Intercontinental Championship - Ladder Match
Bad News Barrett (C) vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Daniel Bryan
Winner: Daniel Bryan

Match 2:
Singles Match
Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins
Winner: Randy Orton

Match 3:
Singles Match
Triple H vs. Sting
Winner: Triple H

Match 4:
Divas Tag Team Match
Paige & AJ Lee vs. The Bella Twins (Nikki & Brie Bella)
Winners: Paige & AJ Lee

Match 5:
WWE United States Championship - Singles Match
Rusev (C) vs. John Cena
Winner: John Cena

Match 6:
Singles Match
The Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt
Winner: The Undertaker

Match 7:
WWE World Heavyweight Championship - Singles Match
Brock Lesnar (C) vs. Roman Reigns
Winner: SETH ROLLINS VIA CASHING IN AND MAKING IT A TRIPLE THREAT MOTHERFUCKERS

The first match begins on the Pre-Show: Tag Team Fatal Fourway.

New Day went from blue to ugly ass bright white and green.

They took the injured Uso out early. That was lame.

You know that thing about the first PPV matches being amazing?

Yeah, didn't disappoint imo.

Yeah, I really enjoyed that match, actually gets me hyped up for the rest of the show, hopefully they follow up well tonight.

Battle Royal next.

They eliminated Curtis first lmao

The tag team competitors also seem to be involved. I don't think they were ever announced? There's probably more too. I saw Bo in it. BO-LIEVE.

Hideo Itami was in this match for a very short time

Final 5: Big Show, Cesaro, Miz, Mizdow, & Ryback. Nice choices

Mizdow eliminated Miz. And it was brilliant. Miz poked Mizdow's titty too many times.

Mizdow fucking biting Big Show's fingers to get him over the rope hahaha

Big Show won

I kind of guessed Show would win based on how Cole forced out the comment about him winning this being important. Constantly bringing up winning his "first" battle royal.

Was a fun bit at the end though, but if they were going to pull the trigger on Mizdow, he should have won.

StraightEdge Rurouni wrote:

I kind of guessed Show would win based on how Cole forced out the comment about him winning this being important.  Constantly bringing up winning his "first" battle royal.  

Was a fun bit at the end though, but if they were going to pull the trigger on Mizdow, he should have won.

Yeah, when he kept saying that, I was like "JFC. So he's been in 429845298438 battle royals and he's been in the final of 28831 of them. If it ain't Ryback or Kane, Big Show is winning."

Ladder Match next

Because out of nine matches, let's have three go first that aren't Singles Matches. The only other non-Singles Match is the Divas match. GJ booking

Holy shit. When did BnB get that fucking ripped? I wanna go on that type of diet and exercise plan.

No blood yet. Boring.

Bunch of holy shit chants and blood doctors. Getting good.

Daniel Bryan wins. Fatality.

Fun fact: Daniel Bryan went under neck surgery. So the final moment was a headbutt war between Daniel & Dolph.

Makes sense.

Myke developing Schizophrenia here. Talking to himself and shit

Frenchie wrote:

Myke developing Schizophrenia here. Talking to himself and shit

Have you met my fed characters?

^ Well slap my ass with butter and call me Carol. I didn't notice that

He draws from life experience.

Meanwhile, I hope Rollins wins. Orton doesn't need a win, and I really wish I could believe that he'd do it cleanly if he does win.