Gopher
Love Bites
Posts : 9666
Join date : 2013-07-19
Age : 31
Location : Arlington, Texas
 |  Subject: Vendetta #87 Grades Sun Aug 17, 2014 6:52 am | |
| CARLOS DIOR TORREZ VS DIRK KING
SINGLES MATCH
GRADER: NONE
Both men no-showed.
MASAMUNE VS AKIRA KOBAYASHI
SINGLES MATCH
GRADER: Ace
MASAMUNE: Enjoyable opening. Akira getting the advantage made sense with his veteran ability. One thing that frustrated me was you actually having to put the 'He' you were talking about in brackets. There are plenty of ways to describe an opponent and make it clear who you mean. Be it nicknames, or hometowns, or just their name in heneral. If you think you've used too many he/she's in a row, then change one up and it will make it a lot easier to read. I would love to know how a tumble to the outside could hurt someones ribs by the way. I could see it hurting their back, their head, their arms, or even a leg. But the ribs? Not unless they hit the barricade. LOVED seeing Miles getting beaten down inadvertantly. Nice touch. Finish was, well sudden. But I like that you decided to put over the character of your wrestler, instead of focusing on getting the win. It was a good way of getting Masamune over. Overall a decent match, but there were occasions where I struggled to visualise your sequences. One in particular being when Akira went for the brainbuster and Masamune got his knees into Akira's head. I re-read that paragraph three times and all I could think was 'How? How did he do that?'. You've got a decent style, I just think you should work a little more on your descriptions. Visualise in your own head what you're plan is, and then write it in a way I can read it and see it the same way too.
AKIRA: Straight away, I enjoy that you started off slow and let the match build. It's a small thing, but its a nice touch I feel. I really love the slow build of the match here, and Akira using his veteran wiles to try and keep the advantage, while masamune was trying to draw him in to making a mistake. Also, McFlurry?...McFlurry? OK, Bonus Points for that  Loved the commentary btw. Finish was great. From playing up the 22 reference earlier in the match to the battle of the brainbusters finally ending in Akira's favour, it all came together well. If anything, my only critiscm was it felt a little rushed at the end. Masamune gets the advantage with the pen and then a minute later Akira gets the win? I'd probably have spent a little more time having Masamune work over Akira's forehead before letting Akira get the comeback, but thats just a personal taste thing.
VERDICT: Sorry Frenchie. Your match wasn't bad, but overall I really did just enjoy AKIRA more. To me Akira had better sequences, as well as an overall story to his match, whereas at times it felt like your match was just spot-after-spot-after-spot.
THE LOGGING CREW VS THE COMMUNITY
TAG TEAM MATCH
GRADER: NONE
Both teams no-showed.
THE PIRATE'S CREW VS THE ASYLUM
TAG TEAM MATCH
GRADER: NONE
The Asylum wins by no-show. TJ has informed us that he'll be leaving the fed. In story, the match was a no contest.
MADDOX PAINE VS SPYRO
SINGLES MATCH
GRADER: NONE
Maddox Paine wins by no-show.
DRAVEN BROTHERS VS D-VOLUTION
TAG TEAM MATCH
GRADER: NONE
Double no-show. Leo is taking a break and Chilly is leaving the fed.
HITMAN ALEX VS CERBERUS VS DANNY DIAMOND
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
XWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
GRADER: NONE
Danny Diamond wins by no-show.
Last edited by Señor Snoopz on Sun Aug 17, 2014 10:11 am; edited 2 times in total |
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Gopher
Love Bites
Posts : 9666
Join date : 2013-07-19
Age : 31
Location : Arlington, Texas
| | Subject: Re: Vendetta #87 Grades Sun Aug 17, 2014 6:53 am | |
| This was a very bad week for us. Not only did we have a lot of no-shows, for not that many matches, but a lot of people have also left the fed, either for a break or indefinitely. Hopefully this is just because summer is coming to a close and we'll get more activity in the next few months. |
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Gopher
Love Bites
Posts : 9666
Join date : 2013-07-19
Age : 31
Location : Arlington, Texas
| | Subject: Re: Vendetta #87 Grades Sun Aug 17, 2014 10:12 am | |
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