Subject: M5 | James Best vs. Rufus Qabazard Mon Feb 17, 2014 1:10 am
Due: Saturday, Februrary 22nd
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Subject: Re: M5 | James Best vs. Rufus Qabazard Mon Feb 17, 2014 8:45 am
As we return from a brief commercial break "I'm My Own Master Now", by Graeme Cornies & Jamie Christopherson, is still playing strong and the fans are absolutely loving it. The camera angles change from the clean sweep of the arena to the young and athletic Rufus Qabazard, seen pressing forward on the ropes and roaring intensely. Rufus stretches on the ring ropes, looking focused and heavily greased, flashing the crowd a flawless grin and getting them going with a fist-pump as he paces back and forth in the ring intensely.
“From Brooklyn New York, weighing 250 pounds, he is The Jaded Vigilante… RUFUSSSS QABAZARRRD!!!”
Joey Miles: And in the red and black tights… it’s theeeee… who is this schmuck?! Ted Cedar: Rufus Qabazard, the gifted athlete from Brooklyn, New York… wait how can you not know who he is, Joey? He’s a multiple time champion, in three weeks he’s defeated Hitman Alex… Joey Miles: What are you writing a book? SHUT UP!!! Ted Cedar: You’re impossible to work with, Joey.
Joey Miles: AAAARGH! WHAT THE FUCK?!!
The fans are lost for words as the broody, moody "Sweet Dreams" by Marilyn Manson plays through the PA, with a creepy, subliminal video montage featuring everything from beheadings by clotheslines to strawberry frosted cupcakes. Tall, bearded, at least six and a half feet tall and built, for want of a better phrase, like a brick shithouse, The Brutal Breadsman swaggers down the ramp wearing a tall chef hat and apron, a look of complete apathy in his eyes, looking like he could legit kill somebody, stopping by the ringside to look up at Rufus and simply grin, raising a rolling pin high above his head.
The Baker cometh.
Joey Miles: That has to be the most traumatising entrance song ever… this is one scary cunt?! Ted Cedar: You of all people should know this man, James… Joey Miles: He’s got a rolling pin, a fuckin ROLLING PIN?!
“And his opponent… from the Bakery, also weighing 250 pounds, he is The Beast From The Yeast… JAAAMES THE BAKER B- -!!!”
The cameras quickly pan back to the ring from the commentators, as the bearded Baker suddenly lumbers through the ring and takes an immediate swing at Rufus with his rolling pin in a frighteningly unpredictable attack, yet Rufus is able to manoeuvre around the attempt and begin pummelling Best with punches, one after another, causing Best to drop the rolling pin, taking James and slinging him across the ring with an irish-whip, Rufus picking up the rolling pin for himself as Best bends the ropes to come back only Best clutches onto the ropes tightly, pulling himself both back at the ropes and through them to the outside with impressive athleticism. Rufus gladly hands the rolling pin to the referee, and scouts The Baker talking trash to the fans on the outside of the ring, shrugging his shoulders to the camera cheekily before breaking into a crowd-rallying clap, the fans knowing exactly what’s coming next as Rufus comes off the ring ropes a running in a full-blown sprint, only The Baker impulsively spins on his heels and slides into the ring, Rufus instead ricocheting from the middle rope with his head to flip back upon his feet with a fake suicide dive, jumping with a high spin kick but The not so sweet Pastry Chef simply walks away unthreatened, glaring back at Rufus with the eyes of the devil, silently waving his finger back at him. Rufus smirks a smug smirk and nods at "The Brutal Breadsman" ready to go as they both stand and stare at one another, the action seemingly resetting as they each begin to pace around the ring, their eyes fiercely locked together with the utmost intensity.
DING! DING! DING!
The bell rings and both “The Baker” and “The Jaded Vigilante” get right to business, immediately locking up in a collar and elbow tie-up. While both men are evenly matched in terms of size, Rufus has the edge over the returning James in terms of confidence, using it to push James toward the corner of the ring. James chuckles and simply stops resisting, letting the referee do the work instead and Ryu quickly gets between the two, dividing them up in compliance with the rulebook, whilst James looks back at Rufus with a deranged grin, to Rufus’ annoyance almost effortlessly getting inside Rufus’s head. The Baker steps back into the ring and Rufus shifts from boot to boot, breathing a deep sigh as James spins around him full of beans, calling Rufus out for another crack at the lockup, Rufus reluctantly complying and they clash once again in the collar and elbow tieup, with James refusing to grant Rufus an inch this time, putting on an impenetrable fortress of technical defence, trying to gradually steer Qabazard’s head sideways for a potential Cravate only Rufus drops to the mat, flinging The Breadsman across the mat in a textbook throw.
Ted Cedar: Fantastic! Joey Miles: My moneys on the beard!
While the fight takes to the mat, the tie-up doesn’t break between the two professionals, who both continue to wrestle their way back onto their feet, James taking control now and pushing Rufus toward the corner, Qabazard challenging Best’s might and pushing “The Brutal Breadsman” back however Best insists on maintaining control, rearing his head back and clobbering Rufus square in the forehead with a head-butt, snarling “HA!” in triumph as Qazabard stumbles backwards off-step, James running backwards to bend the ropes and bounce from them and back toward Rufus with a tremendous boot to the face, driving his boot deep into Qabazard’s cheekbone, before tearing off his apron and wraps it tight around the New Yorker’s neck, holding him momentarily as he glares down the crowd before taking a few steps and slinging all 250 pounds of Rufus, his own body weight, across the ring dramatically with a Biel Throw! Rufus is able to shake it off, just not find his feet in time to combat his psychotic Pastry Chef opponent, as James dashes toward him and tags him in the head with a low dropkick, sliding out of the ring and grabbing him with both hands, tearing him to the outside, only Rufus just as quickly grabs James around the waist as he finds his feet on the floor, bulldozing James into the barricade behind him with a deep, guttural roar as he does so!
Ted Cedar: Ohh.. that made MY insides hurt, The Baker certainly didn’t expect that! Joey Miles: Like two bulldozers ploughing each other, see what I did there?! Ted Cedar: Just stop… let’s take another look at the replay real quick, watch as Rufus Shin… Qabazard goes absolutely flying across the ring, I’m not even sure if that was allowed but legal or not, that was certainly impressive! Joey Miles: Yeah… impressively landing on his fucking head right after the Baker guy choked the shit out of him!
Rufus is able to shake it off, just not find his feet in time to combat his psychotic Pastry Chef opponent, as James dashes toward him and tags him in the head with a low dropkick, sliding out of the ring and grabbing him with both hands, tearing him to the outside, only Rufus just as quickly grabs James around the waist as he finds his feet on the floor, bulldozing James into the barricade behind him with a deep, guttural roar as he does so! Having taken his foe by surprise, Rufus begins to mount an offense, firing away with a string of tight European uppercuts which belt into Bests face, James head snapping back with every blow, ending with a backhand chop which produces an audible clap of impact, Rufus taking James by the neck and spinning him around, looking to dump him into the ring yet Best plants his hands down on the ring apron and refuses to be moved, grabbing hold of Rufus instead to smash his head down upon the ring apron, scoop him from the mat into the Powerbomb setup looking to blast him across the ring-post only Rufus struggles free to fall to the mat behind James, turning around and shoving James into the ring-post face-first, stunning the Australian pastry chef before jumping onto the steel steps, then on top of the ring apron like hopscotch, throwing himself back into a corkscrew-styled Senton, Whisper In The Wind, flattening "The Narcissistic Pâtissier" dramatically! Rufus slowly eases from the floor and James’ chest and sits upright, grasping hold of his midsection still a little banged up from Cyberslam as he crawls up the apron skirting and takes a breather against the apron, before rolling into the ring. The referee’s count once again beginning to climb, The Baker begins finding his feet yet Rufus, recovered enough, comes sprinting from the far end of the ring with a suicide dive and torpedoes James into the barricade good and proper!
Ted Cedar: Tremendous impact… tremendous! Bravo! An excellent follow-up to that exciting Whisper In The Wind, Rufus Qabazard’s wrestling style is truly breathtaking and simply fun to watch! Joey Miles: You know what was also fun to watch? Rufus getting the shit kicked out of him last night. Ted Cedar: He seems to be doing just fine right now, Joey… stop being such a pessimist! Joey Miles: Just watch, he’ll fuck up… all these cunts do!
The Baker groans, on all fours crawling across the mat trying to find his equilibrium, as Rufus has the crowd behind him, encouraging him on, Qabazard peeling James from the mat and throwing him across the top of the announce table, the official one, taking his own time to step upon the Spanish table as the announcers on both tables stand clear, Rufus kicking aside the various obstructions and what not, squatting down to remove the monitors and Rufus slowly rises, grinning to the crowd as he gestures it’s time to Go To Sleep and the a deep cheer resonates from the crowd as Rufus steps over to the fallen Baker and pries him from the table, heaving him up onto his shoulders in a tremendous effort, only to sway back and forth for a moment, leaving the crowd agasp yet Rufus regains control to their relief. The Brutal Breadsman spoils the fanfare however, coming around to plough Rufus in the neck with elbow smashes, landing to the tables, which begin cracking beneath their weight, Best steals Rufus for himself, with his head between his legs and his arms around his waist, a Powerbomb in the cards, Rufus panics, heaving James up in a classic back-body counter yet Best anchors himself down, ensuring the counter wouldn’t happen, “The Brutal Breadsman” going for a Powerbomb once again, still wanting it, but Rufus buries an elbow right to the cranium, destabilising Best’s entire game-plan and Best thrusts Rufus alright, only Rufus doesn’t hit the table, his sabotage to the powerbombs trajectory ensured he’d fall straight to the floor below and crash across the thin rubber mats, which may as well have been concrete!
As the audience cry out in shock, even with Rufus Qabazard destroyed on the floor in a contorted heap, “The Brutal Breadsman” shows no mercy, dropping down from the table and immediately going back to work on the New Yorker, kicking him in the head. Rufus groans, dazed and confused as The Baker drags him onto both feet and shoves him against the table, taking a back step only to charge toward him and clobber him across the chest with a clothesline, Best pulling back as Rufus groggily stumbles only for Best to ram through him once again, again burying a clothesline in the sternum, "The Narcissistic Pâtissier" then takes Rufus by the wrist, walking him along with a twirl, just being disrespectful at this point, shoving Qabazard in the chest against the table, propping him there as he backs up, the grin fading from his face, Best charges with a crazed howl and an even more tremendous clothesline, yet Rufus ducks beneath the potential beheading and sprints into a slide into the ring! The Baker spins about in disbelief, running rampant into a slide into the ring behind him as Rufus had already bounced from the ropes to turn back at Best, who’d only just begun to pick himself up from his slithering and Rufus gambles it all, blasting The Chef in the face with a bone structure decimating BUISAKU KNEE KICK!!! With the action suddenly back in the ring, The Jaded Vigilante gazes up at the turnbuckle, cupping his face and swiping the sweat away as he drags his fingers down his own face in exhausted contemplation, looking at the turnbuckle yet again only to drop upon both knees and spin an about turn, snatching The Bakers legs, beginning bend them around one another for the Cloverleaf!
Ted Cedar: Wait a minute, hold on just a damn minute! Rufus Qabazard is setting it up… is it… yes it is! The cloverleaf… NO!!! Joey Miles: Break him… BREAK HIM AND HIS ROLLING PIN TOO! Ted Cedar: yes it is! Rufus is setting up The Cloverleaf… NO!!!
Before Rufus could lift and twist Best in the submission move’s completion, the self-professed “Dough Nut” still has enough in the tank to thrust Rufus backwards, then rolling forwards to sit on his knee as Rufus is finding his balance, skipping into a shuffle sideways and blasting Rufus Qazabard right in the gut with his Bun In The Oven SUPERKICK! The audience groan collectively with empathy as Rufus is lifted from the mat to hit the floor on his kneepads, but the fun doesn’t stop there, as The Baker tears Rufus upon both feet and into an immediate suplex, plummeting into a Lungblower impact which makes the crowd cringe and shout yet again, each impact amplified in brutally vivid fashion as Best peels Rufus from the mat and thrusts him into the ring ropes, propelling him into the air for a flapjack before absolutely smashing him with a vicious European uppercut and Rufus hits the mat with a heavy thud, absolutely starfished. James Best huffs and puffs, raking his hand back through his head of hair as he drops upon his knees and plants both hands on Rufus’s chest, grinning maniacally as he pins him for the down.
Ted Cedar: Sweet Jesus that was brutal, that was quite horrific actually! Will somebody just get Rufus the hell out of there?!
Just as Rufus feverishly rises from the mat, as Ted Cedar praises him to the moon, the man from The Bakery rolls him up from behind with a sneaky, despicable pin, even with his feet on the ropes for leverage to make it that much more heinous.
ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
DING DING DING!!!
Joey Miles: There goes your fairytale comeback… Rufus looks fucked. Ted Cedar: What? When did… Jesus!
“Here is your winner… by PINFALL… JAMES ‘THE BAKER’ BEST!!!”
The Brutal Breadsman grins in deranged delight as he rolls onto both knees, the crowd in near silence for the monstrous soul and his stiff workings and The Brutal Breadsman flicks back his hair and roars into the night, staring manically into the cameras scope of sight as he slides out of the ring and slaps his chef hat back on, tying his apron on in a chillingly calm fashion before quietly stepping back up the ramp.
Subject: M5 | James Best vs. Rufus Qabazard 
