The arena darkens AGAIN. Seriously, what is going on with production? Do they have a darkness fetish or something? The titantron hums a little bit, and instead of the distorted voices we heard before, we hear a movie announcer-esque voice boom throughout the arena.

Movie Announcer Voice: "Ladies and gentlemen... boys and girls... and everyone who doesn't relate to those genders... it's finally happening. A once-in-a-lifetime event. But not really. They're here. They're back. Well... one's back. The other is new. Kind of. It's difficult to explain. Please give a warm welcome... to... ... ... ..."

Music begins to play.


Two individuals burst out behind the curtains in black robes, one slightly taller than the other one, as copyrighted music (I'm sure) fills the arena. Once production realizes they don't own the rights to this music, they scramble to make it stop. The shorter individual bops around like a crazy person as the taller one slowly marches down to the ring. Their faces are still unable to be seen. The music finally stops as they're about halfway down the ramp. They stop at the same time and shrug it off. The shorter one slides into the ring as the taller one uses the stairs to enter.

They simultaneously remove their hoods to reveal that they are Shade and... someone. They each have a microphone.

Shade: "You all know who I am by now. Come on. Give me the boos. You know you want to. Although I've had a change of heart. I swear I have. I've been a good boy, Santa. And this right here? This is Samael. And he's six-foot-ten and you CAN'T... TEACH... THAT!"

Samael: "NO! DO NOT! Shade, I fucking mean it. Other wrestling promotions do not exist! What you're referencing is illegal in my canon. Do you understand me?"

Shade: "Oh look at you. You think you tough, huh? You're just sawf-"

Samael: "FUCK OFF SHADE!"

Shade: "Fine you fucking killjoy. Production cut that amazing song off and now I can't even have my fun. I had this whole fucking thing planned and now it's scrapped. So now I need a new script. Be right back."

Shade runs out of the ring and to the back, leaving Samael alone. The audience seems to be confused, yet slightly amused as to what's going on.

Samael: "I uh... I apologize for him. He's a... unique one."

Shade comes back with a bunch of papers in his hand.

Shade: "Alright let's see here. What did the actual script want us to do? So they wanted... oh they were expecting the actual codes. Ha. Fucking management, I swear. Ain't nobody got time to crack some random bullshit codes. Let's see... OH! Wait! Who wins in the main event?!"

Shade flips through the papers to see the outcome of the main event.

Shade: "Aw. Oh. Really? Ugh. Okay. That's not... I'm not even going to bother reading that."

Samael: "Shade. You're wasting everyone's time."

Shade: "Okay, okay. According to this it was scary, spooky coded promos. Blah blah blah blah blah... then the big reveal was that it's me yet I was supposed to be wearing a mask. But I snuck you in. So there's that. And my match with Riley was supposed to end in a draw? What kind of bullshit is that? Who the fuck ends their matches in draws?! WHO THE FUCK WROTE THIS GARBAGE?!"

Shade throws the script down to the mat and starts stomping on it. Samael puts his hand on Shade's shoulder.

Samael: "Shade. Calm your tits. It's going to be alright."

Shade: "IT'S NOT GOING TO BE ALRIGHT! I'M SUPPOSED TO DRAW TO RILEY?! RILEY?!?! COME ON! I figured they'd give me a fucking win or something. This is FU-"

Samael: "Yeah, yeah. It's fucking blasphemy. We know."

Shade: "That's my line."

Samael: "You poor baby. Want a cookie?"

Shade: "I don't appreciate your mockery. We have a real issue here, Sammy. There's two of us. And one of Riley. Two. One. Two. One. Do you see the problem?"

Samael: "Just fight him? And win? It's not that difficult."

Shade: "OF COURSE IT IS! WHAT WILL YOU DO?!"

Samael: "I'll sit on the sideline tonight. No big deal."

Shade: "No. That's not fair. We'll flip for it. Got a quarter?"

Samael looks perplexed at Shade.

Samael: "I'm wearing a fucking robe."

Shade: "YOU HAVE PANTS ON UNDERNEATH AND THEY HAVE POCKETS."

Samael: "OH YES, AND I CARRY MY FUCKING WALLET DOWN TO THE RING."

Shade bends over to grab the script and exits the ring.

Shade: "We'll do it this way then. Who here wants to buy this script for one whole quarter?"

A bunch of audience members nearby shout they want to, even pulling quarters out.

Shade: "Ah yes. This nice gentlemen here. I'll take your quarter."

He hands over the quarter. And Shade hands over the script. Except it's not a script. It's blank pages. The fan looks enraged.

Shade: "I just needed a quarter, dude. Do you really think this has scripts? This is real life. I mean come on, spirit things that infect others. Totally real. And I'm referencing Mirage, by the by. ANYWHORE!"

Shade enters the ring and flips the quarter.

Shade: "Heads! The best kind!"

Samael shakes his head as Shade catches the quarter.

Shade: "Aw, it's tails. Looks like you're up."

Samael: "Damn right."

Samael removes his robe and hands over his microphone to Shade. Shade exits the ring but stays in Samael's corner.

Oh.

I sense Myke infected by Deadpool hype

Nah, this is how my characters originally were.

Inhaleminati wrote:

Oh.

This sneaky 607 guy stole you character!

"Shade: "I just needed a quarter, dude. Do you really think this has scripts? This is real life. I mean come on, spirit things that infect others. Totally real. And I'm reference Mirage, by the by. ANYWHORE!""

Best part of the promo.
Awesome shit, so glad Shade and Samael are back <3

I knew it was you.

No you didn't.

Riiiight.

Anywhore, really good read, I always enjoy your promos and this one is no different.