A greasy grin unfurls across Big Jim’s face at the thought of grappling to come. As the Salty Sea Dog begins to beckon him in, the man from Black Rapids winds his arms and comes toward the centre of the mat as the bell is heard. Jim tries for a lock –up, but the pirate will have none of it, he gives a swift kick to the inner thigh that buckles the woodsman long enough to apply a front facelock and hit a swinging neckbreaker. He quickly gets to his feet and, standing over the fallen logger’s upper torso, drops down to sit on his chest. The wounded whistle punk emits a short and sharp grunt as the air rushes out of him, but still has the presence of mind to pull the buccaneer over into a sunset flip for a count of 1 ½ . The two combatants roll away from each other a few inches and both come to a knee opposite each other. Quick to follow up, the Salty Sea Dog charges in with an attempted spear, but comes up empty as Jim drops flat to avoid the collision, sending the swashbuckler skidding across the mat. As he rises, the perverse pulp peeler is there with a kick to the gut that rolls him onto his back. He splits his foe’s legs and delivers a headbutt.
 
Look at this ugly bastard, right to the nuts….
 
Precisely Joey, Big Jim likes to play dirty.  The Salty Sea Dog is gonna have to watch out in this one.
 
He’s gonna have to watch out he doesn’t get his career shortened Ted, I don’t think Long John Silver’s is hiring anymore.
 
Jim’s through playing now though, and lifts his opponent up. He stands behind and hooks a leg over the Salty Sea Dog's opposite leg. Jim then forces him to one side, traps one of the arms with his own arm, and drapes his free leg over the neck, forcing it downward. The Octopus hold is synched in, but the buccaneer not in the mood to give Big Jim the satisfaction of a submission. Jim’s not looking to end this anyway, and grabs the top rope to add more pressure to the hold, at least until he breaks it in the face of the official’s disqualification count. After a brief reprimand from the striped enforcer, Jim is back on the hunt. He makes to raise his adversary from his doubled over position, but a sharp thrust to the throat sends Jim away coughing. The master of wood, wind and sail puts both hands round Jim's head while jumping up to place both his knees against his back; both grapplers fall backward, the collision with the canvas giving the lung blower it’s ghastly effect. Adding insult to injury, the Salty Sea Dog rubs his boot into the lumberman’s face, then runs and rebounds off of the ropes to deliver a running low-angle single leg dropkick.
 
The Pirate is dictating the pace of the match up so far, a credit to his in-ring ability.
 
Try to keep you’re Jolly Roger at half-staff Teddy.  Jim had him tied up in knots earlier on, but he let go. I guess no one ever accused him of being a genius, but he’s usually smarter than that.
 
Jim escapes to the outside, trying to collect himself and rethink the situation. His primitive mind offers him few solutions and he stops at the timekeeper’s table to rub his moose skin in the hopes of some inspiration. Finding none forthcoming, and ever mindful of the referee’s count, he mounts the apron once again, only to have the brigand baseball slide under the bottom strand and knock the pins from under him. Jim keeps a firm grip on the top rope and manages to land on the apron and re-enter the ring. Dauntless, the man in poofy sleeves rushes back inside the squared circle. Finding Jim still coming to himself after his blitz attack, he runs toward him and somersaults over him. As he falls, he grabs the Black Rapids bully by the neck, pushing it downwards and causing it to jerk backwards and snap. From the mat, the Salty Sea Dog performs a masterful nip-up and, raising his hands in a token of victory, bathes in the chorus of cheers that greet him once again. Big Jim struggles to his feet, hands cradling the back of his head and neck, but finds himself on the receiving end of a whip to the buckle. The Pirate rushes in with a shoulder block to the abdomen that forces a wounded whoop from the very bowels of Jim’s being. Unsatisfied, he mounts the buckle, grinds his pelvis in jest over the broken form of the pulp hook punisher, and begins to rain blows upon him.
 
Jim has no answer; he’s being steamrolled. Finally, someone is making that Deliverance reject squeal like a pig…
 
He is a long way from home…
 
I see what you did there Ted.
 
But seriously Joey, Jim has to be having an off night.
 
Maybe his squirrel was a little under-cooked at suppertime...
 
As the Salty Sea Dog hops down in recognition of the official’s count, he gives him a scowl before making a tight circle, intent upon returning to her prey. The Sou’West Savage manages to raise a boot that collides with less than ideal force. Still, it’s enough to stun and Jim’s decided that regrouping isn’t working, it’s time to bull ahead; not one step backward. Braced against the ropes, however temporarily, The Pirate is in prime position and Jim clotheslines him, the force and momentum carrying both of them over the top rope and onto the floor. Jim shakes like a dog, seemingly ignorant of the jeers that have welcomed this latest effort. He gathers up his foe and slides him into the ring legs first, his upper body still on the apron. The man from Black Rapids then walks across the apron and executes a leg drop onto the Pirate's sternum. Sputtering, the buccaneer instinctively coils up in the ring, but Jim lifts him to his feet, only to rake his eyes. The wily woodsman manoeuvres himself behind his opponent and bends them forward. For a moment Jim remembers the low bleating moan of the cow moose before pulling one of the mariner’s arms back between his legs, while the other arm is hooked. Jim now lifts him up over his shoulder, and then falls forward to slam the thug against the mat back-first. He hooks the leg and makes the cover, but the seafarer kicks out with force at two. It won’t be that simple to put him away.  Jim rolls onto his back, searching the lights above for inspiration.
 
You ain’t gonna find answers up there, get up and fight!
 
You have to believe that Big Jim is softening the sailor up for a submission, but the Salty Sea Dog has forced this one into a pace Jim simply can’t keep.
 
Well it’s his job to slow it down not lay there like he just shot his load. 
 
The referee rounds six, heading to seven, when Jim bursts from the mat, like the proverbial bat out of Hell. His eyes are wild as he lays in a heavy-duty elbow drop. A second attempt however hits nothing, as the swahbuckler has the presence of mind to roll clear.  The twisted timber slayer rises, only to be greeted by a dropkick to the knee, which buckles him, and rope-propelled Yakuza kick that puts him on his back. A quick cover produces a convincing two count before Jim can roll his shoulder clear of the mat. The tar doesn’t seem put out in the slightest, likely realizing that he’ll need to dish out a bit more punishment, but finding consolation in the knowledge that he’s firmly in command of the action. He waits, brooding over his opposition, watching the lumberman raise from the mat. Jim manages to get to one knee, but that simply provokes his opponent into charging his position, and springing off the knee, intent on a Shining Wizard. Yet, before his opponent can connect with his devastating kick, Jim gives a mighty shove that sends him backwards, and to the canvas, in a hurry. Tangled in the ropes, the deckhand scrambles to all fours, but is clocked with a haphazard punt kick from the ragged rustic. Eager to regain his bearings and slow the pace of the contest, Jim opts to grab the mariner’s legs and stretches them backward executing an excruciating stump puller. The Salty Sea Dog’s face is the definition of agony, though it isn’t clear whether it’s brought on by the hold, his newfound proximity to Jim’s unwashed nether regions, or perhaps a combination of both. At any rate, he manages to summon the power of his long legs to pull Jim forward, and his liberated arms to hook the birler’s legs. The brief pin doesn’t last long enough to talk about, but sets Jim on edge again. The two grapplers disengage and as they turn to face each other, Jim jams a soiled thumb into the eye of his opponent, gaining stern warning from the referee that affects him not at all. Jim rams a knee into the seafarer’s back, forcing him through the top and middle ropes. He rears back and jumps on the brigand’s spine, forcing him down on the coated metal. He then turns his opposition over and places his head on the bottom rope facing the middle strand. He then hooks each of his opponent's legs then falls backwards to slingshot the Pirate into the rope neck-first, leaving him to spasm on the mat, holding his throat. Big Jim once again receives harsh criticism from the official, the man in black and white is mincing no words, he’ll disqualify if he has to.
 
Well, he’s really letting Jim have it.
 
Rightfully so, this bully has got the crazy idea that that backwoods sort of wrestling is alright.
 
Oh yeah, it’s a crime when Big Jim pulls a few dirty tricks, but the Pirate shits cotton candy, right?  Just because he’s one of your favourites, he can do no wrong. Try to have some journalistic integrity.
 
Please….gimme a break….
 
The lengthy diatribe by the ref is wearing on Jim’s meagre patience, but before his decks the insignificant man, and forfeits the encounter in so doing, the stripe-shirted arbiter draws to a close and motions for the match to continue. Of course, the respite has allowed the old salt ample time to recuperate, but he plays possum. Jim drags him upright, and receives a pair of stiff shots to the gut and a scoop slam for his trouble. Those assembled in the hallowed halls of the arena, save for those few unrepentant malcontents who insist on cheering for the heel, begin to rally around the recently revived grappler. The din of the crowd gives the Pirate that little something extra that only the truly beloved can ever possess. He guns his engines once again.
 
The crowd is getting behind the Salty Sea Dog!  Listen to this ovation!
 
What an attention whore!  Big Jim might not have two brain cells to rub together, but at least he’s not out here pandering to every snot-nosed kid and future working girl in the building.
 
Somewhat embarrassed, Jim charges, but is met with a power slam. He scrambles to his feet, still on rubber legs, and is clamped in a headlock. The buccaneer grinds the hold, working his arm around the woodsman’s head. The Sou’West Savage tries to bounce himself off of the ropes, but to no avail. He tries again, but the Salty Sea Dog stops short, clearly in control at this point. Finally, Jim resorts to a half-hearted atomic drop that sets him free. He tries to capitalize but receives a shot to the gut; he makes a quick circle and raises a double axe handle, but gets interrupted by an elbow to midsection.  The seafarer sends him to the buckle and begins to pummel the lumberjack’s abdomen with rights and lefts. Big Jim tries a knee and a switch-out to stop the onslaught, but his own shot is blocked and the Salty Sea Dog punches his way out of the corner and finishes off with a bolo-up punch that elicits a huge pop from the multitudes. Calling for the end, the adventurer sets up for a piledriver and Jim is dropped head-first on the mat with a crunch and the mariner effortlessly floats over and applies the STF.  As he wrenches back, his eyes locked on the image of himself towering over the entrance way, the crowd begins to boo uncharacteristically.  It takes a few minutes for the XWA cameras to reposition and catch a glimpse of the jocular countenance of Cletus leering at the action within the ring, having seemingly hopped the barricade seconds earlier.  As fast as his two legs can carry him, Cletus bounds onto the ring apron, immediately intercepted by the referee.
 
Cletus has no business down here.
 
His partner’s in the match!
 
He’s not a manager, he’s a wrestler.
 
So?
 
You’re a wrestler, you’ve got a wrestling licence. You’re a manger, you’ve got a managing licence to be at ringside. You can hold both at once.
 
Well aren’t you just the fountain of information…
 
By this time, the Salty Sea Dog has broken the hold, intent upon dispatching Cletus himself, if necessary.  With the referee distracted though, Jim plants a shot where the sun doesn’t shine.  Cletus, on the apron, seeing the job is done, holds up his hands in acquiescence and drops to the concrete, seemingly agreeing to leave. Big Jim wastes no time and slaps on the Pulp Hook claw, the instant that the Pirate turns to face him. It soon overwhelms him, and he falls to the mat. He loses the strength to keep his shoulders off the mat and a three count later, it’s Goodnight Irene.
 
A courageous effort here by the Pirate, he came close but it was 2-on-1 out there.
 
This ain’t a dance, close don’t count.
 
Big Jim releases the hold only to allow him to grab a chair, tossed inside by the Pine Island Powerhouse, and begins to beat the swashbuckler mercilessly. He takes the pulp hook and rakes at the defeated man’s forehead. Finally the Beaubears birler looks at his partner with concern and decides he ought to intercede. An army of officials is surrounding the ring, cautions to enter, but Cletus breaks through them and fetches the moose skin. He re-enters the ring and, with a stiff kick breaks up the onslaught by Big Jim. The two loggers have a standoff, before Cletus stands aside and reveals that he’s flung the pelt across the broken body before them. Jim stops; his expression lightens, tears well in the corners of his eyes, he crawls toward the skin and tentatively brushes a hand against it. Cletus gives some encouragement and his partner finally cuddles up to his erstwhile enemy, and spoons him. Feeling the soft coat on his face, his breathing slows and his rage dissipates.
 

This is sickening… 

DING DING DING!!!

Two of the more odd stars in the company begin to circle around the ring as the fans continues to go nuts over The Pirate. Captain Bloom hops and skips around in his circle, stopping a couple times to play up to the crowd. Big Jim is not amused by Pirate's antics, and after his opponent outright stops to get up and pose on the ropes, the tattoo-laden lumberjack charges at him and clubs him in the back with a big elbow. Pirate doubles over, holding onto the top turnbuckle to stay on. Jim gets up onto the bottom rope behind him and grabs him by the head. After swinging back, Jim then smashes Pirate's face off the top turnbuckle. The recoil from the ropes sends the captain flying, and he lands with a thud, flat on his back in the middle of the ring. As Pirate rolls back onto his stomach, Jim slowly gets down off the rope and moseys on over to him, staring down at his opponent. His partner Cletus claps from ringside as Jim reaches down and grabs The Pirate by the chin, pulling him forcefully up to his feet. However, Pirate's still got his wits about him, and quickly catches the lumberjack off guard by taking him down with an STO. Jim is stunned, but the move doesn't do much damage as he quickly starts to get back up. Pirate tries to keep on the offensive by running off at the ropes, but by the time he gets back and is about to hit an Elbow Smash, Big Jim is ready and waiting. He grabs the captain's arm and raises it up, ducking under and behind him, and then pulls the arm behind his opponent, obtaining a Hammerlock in the process. But it's not the Hammerlock that was his goal, as he quickly uses his advantageous position to push Pirate swiftly to the corner, where he drives his opponent's ribcage straight into the turnbuckles.

"And there's that unorthodox style of Big Jim coming into play."

"Yeah! I hope he beats the tar out of the Butt Pirate!"

Pirate backs out of the corner holding his midsection, but Jim gives him little respite, immediately grabbing him by the hair. The dangerous brawler pulls his taller opponent back, bending him at the knees and very much off balance, to the objective cries of the referee. After holding him at that awkward angle for a few seconds, Jim yanks down, sending Pirate down to the canvas. The captain's head smacks off the mat, and he cringes, grabbing his hair gingerly as he lays. Big Jim keeps it coming, measuring up his fallen opponent before leaping up and dropping a big knee to the forehead. Pirate's body spasms upon impact, and Jim quickly gets on top for a cover.....one...tw-kickout. Pirate won't go down that easily. Jim angrily gets up off of him and backs off, contemplating his next move. Pirate, shaken but not out of it yet, slowly crawls over to the ropes and begins to pull himself up. Once he's up, Jim makes his way back over to Bartholomew. He wraps Pirate up from behind and hooks around his leg, trying for a Russian Legsweep. Pirate's got other ideas though. The crafty buccaneer firmly grabs the top rope with both hands, and Big Jim ends up falling flat on his back from the move. As Jim rolls backward back onto his feet, Pirate turns around, catching his breath. Jim charges forward, trying not to allot Pirate any time to recover, but Bloom's got him scouted, and ducks down, picking his opponent up and dumping him to the outside with a Backdrop. By some stroke of luck, Jim grabs the top rope on his way over and manages to land on his feet, but as he climbs back up onto the apron, Pirate runs off toward the corner, steps up the turnbuckles, and jumps off, turning in midair and nailing Big Jim with a Missile Dropkick.

"Oh shit!"

"Pirate outta nowhere with that dropkick!"

Jim's head snaps back as Pirate drops to the canvas. The lumberjack almost falls back off the apron, but manages to hold on with one hand. However, his momentum brings him swinging around, and he falls through the middle ropes back into the ring, landing in a heap behind Pirate. Bartholomew pushes himself up to his feet and stumbles across the ring to catch his balance. It's still early. There's still time to gain the advantage. As Big Jim tries to get up, holding his jaw after that kick, Pirate walks over and sizes him up. Jim gets to his feet, and Bloom rears back...SLAP. A Knife-Edge Chop resonates through the arena, followed by a chorus of "WOO!"s from the packed house. Jim stands up a little straighter, turning his eyes to his opponent, apparently unphased by the move. Pirate once again lays his hand into the ink-covered chest of his opponent. SMACK. "WOO!". Jim flinches a little from the move, but immediately turns his head back toward The Pirate, looking wide-eyed in anger. Pirate, savvy to what would most likely happen if he attempted the move a third time, instead goes low, driving a black boot into the lumberjack's shin. Jim doubles over, clutching his leg with both hands, and this allows Pirate to grab him by the head and set up for a move. After pointing to the sky, the captain swings his arm, and then his whole body over his opponent, twisting him around into a Spinning Neckbreaker, driving Jim down to the mat. Pirate sits up and reaches forward, grabbing the ropes to pull himself up as Jim continues to hold his lower leg. Bloom turns himself around in the corner as the chants of "PI-RATE! PI-RATE!" start up once again. He crouches, sizing Jim up, and then with a running start, leaps over his opponent, throwing both legs out in front of him and connecting with a Senton. The nearly 250 pounds right to the ribs drives all the air out of Big Jim's lungs, and as he grunts in pain, Pirate looks to use this to his advantage by hooking the leg with his left arm and applying a cover.....one.....two....Kickout just in time!

"The Pirate is looking ready for Sunday, I'd say."

"Nonsense. There is no 'ready'. Harva's gonna knock some sense back into Lawson. I'm sure of it."

The Pirate gets up off of his opponent and walks across the ring, contemplating the next few offensive moves he should try. Outside, Cletus the Lumberjack pounds on the ring, trying to get some motivation into his partner. Jim, holding his ribs, rolls onto his side, and then we see Pirate walk back over to him and reach down to pick his opponent off the mat. After pulling Jim up to his feet and backing him up to the corner, the captain pulls back and sharply whips the lumberjack across the ring. Once he hits the other corner, Bloom charges across the ring after him. He leaps up in the air a little bit and nails Big Jim in the jaw with a running forearm. Jim's head snaps to the side, but he doesn't have time to react any more than that, as Pirate immediately grabs his wrist and begins to pull him across the ring again. Only this time he stops, instead throwing out his left arm and flooring his opponent with a Short-Arm Clothesline. Jim is rocked again, and he looks a little dizzy as The Pirate shifts on his knees to face him. After turning Jim's body 45 degrees, a very subtle move to set up a top rope move that goes unnoticed by most, Pirate then covers his opponent and hooks the leg for a pin.....one.....two.....No! Pirate came very close once again, but the hardy lumberjack stays alive in this match. Pirate snaps his fingers in disappointment, but isn't quite upset, as he immediately goes to his plan B, getting up off of his opponent and turning toward the corner. He climbs up the turnbuckles one by one, on the inside, as Jim lays motionless on the mat. Seeing the danger, Cletus comes to the aid of his partner. He quickly circles around the post and jumps up onto the apron, quickly making his way to the corner where Bartholomew is. The referee immediately gets in his way and tries to stop him, but Cletus has achieved his goal of distracting The Pirate, as the sailor looks over and starts to yell at him. Cletus tries to push past the referee to get closer, but Pirate instead rears back and kicks him right in the forehead, sending the brute toppling to the floor. He manages to land on his feet, but way off balance, as he has to stop himself on the announce table. Meanwhile, Pirate gets his bearings and jumps, flipping backward in the air with a Moonsault. However this misses, as the distraction bought Big Jim enough time to roll into the corner and out of the way.

"And that right there was dirty, rotten cheating!"

"Non-fuckin-sense. That's just what a good tag team partner does!"

"Last I checked this was a singles match, Mr. Miles."

Pirate recoils back to his feet and holds his midsection as Jim pulls himself up in the corner. After the captain stumbles back toward his opponent, Jim reaches up and plants his thumb right into the eye socket. "He might need that eyepatch after that one" and whatnot. Pirate stumbles backward and falls on his ass, holding the eye as Big Jim slowly walks over to him. Pirate rolls over onto his knees, letting his opponent come up behind him. To slow the match down from the high pace of Pirate's offense, Jim slaps on the most classic of rest holds, the Rear Chinlock. Bloom's hands shoot out in front of him as the lumberjack cinches the move in. A sick smile crosses the gruff face of Big Jim as he jerks Pirate's head around in his arms. He pulls back a little, prompting Pirate to pull one of his legs out from under him. At this, Jim decides to pull Pirate fully up to his feet, and then fall back. After Bartholomew lands on top of him, the Perverse Pulp Peeler wraps his legs around his opponent's ribs, switching the move to a Rear Naked Choke. Pirate squirms around in the hold, trying to dig his hands under Jim's ink-covered arms, but it's no use. The captain tries to push himself back and roll over his opponent, but Jim's got the legs locked in tight. Eventually, Pirate manages to scooch over a little bit, close enough that he can throw his leg out and land it on the bottom rope. The referee goes straight to Jim and tries to make him break the hold, but the twisted man won't let go. Left no choice, the official starts to count him out...one...two...three...four...Finally, Jim releases his opponent, and Pirate rolls into the corner, gasping for breath.

"Referees make this shit no fun. He should have kept the hold on."

"I don't know about you, but I'm sure Big Jim doesn't like getting disqualified."

While that may be debatable, he hasn't yet, and climbs back up to his feet. Holding a handful of hair and visibly shaking the cobwebs out of his head, he walks back over toward his opponent, who is trying to stand up in the corner. Jim pulls him up, but keeps him bent over, going for another move. He pulls Pirate's left arm through his legs, then wraps him up. However, instead of the normal move to come out of this position, he hoists Pirate straight up and over, and then drives him straight down to the mat with an improvised Pumphandle Powerbomb. After the captain smacks off the canvas, Jim pulls him away from the ropes before kneeling down and covering him.....one.....two.Kickout; Pirate's not put away just yet, and kicks out a fair bit before the count of three. Big Jim, a little miffed by not getting the count, slowly stands back up, standing over his swashbuckling opponent, before reaching down and grabbing him by the neck. Choking him out, he lifts The Pirate up by his neck, dragging him to his feet as the referee heavily protests. Pirate starts to cough a little as Jim releases, but doesn't have much chance to catch his breath before his opponent leaps up, grabs his head, and nails a devastating Double Knee Facebreaker. The impact sends him back to his feet, but Bartholomew's balance is shot, and he falls backward onto the mat as Jim begins to crawl over to him. As Cletus claps from the sidelines, Jim reaches his fallen opponent and climbs over him, pressing down for another cover.....one.....two.....No! Pirate kicks out at two and a half.

"Very close to ending it right there. Big Jim is dominating right now."

"Of course he is! You expected any different? This is the Butt Pirate we're talking about!"

Again surprised by not getting the pin there, Jim starts seething in anger. He starts to get up, again running his hand through his hair to rub the back of his head. He reaches down and grabs The Pirate by the back of the neck, then forcefully pulls him back up. Pirate is a little out of it, and nearly falls on top of Big Jim as he reaches his feet. This is fine with the lumberjack, as he picks Pirate up, sweeping both of Bloom's legs around and over his shoulder. With Pirate in position, he roars angrily, and everyone in the crowd knows that he's setting up for his finisher. With the crowd in full boo, it looks like the Hermit's Hangover is about to be hit, but suddenly The Pirate starts squirming. He desperately shifts his weight backwards, trying to get off, and with his balance all off, Big Jim is forced to let go. The captain falls back and lands on his feet, managing to push Big Jim away from him as he falls backward into the corner, just barely managing to catch his arms on the ropes to avoid landing on his ass. Annoyed by Pirate' resilience, The Twisted Timber Slayer quickly turns around and charges toward his opponent, not wanting to let him get any sort of time to get back into this one. However, Pirate is ready for him, and falls away from the oncoming woodsman, countering the charge with a Drop Toe Hold, sending Jim's face straight into the middle turnbuckle. Jim stumbles away from the corner, holding his face, and eventually ends up on one knee in the middle of the ring. Meanwhile, Pirate rolls out of the ring and pulls himself up on the apron to catch his breath. As Cletus is now on the other side of the ring, he is in no position to interfere, so after shaking out the cobwebs, Pirate wastes no time in climbing the turnbuckles and sizing up his opponent. After Jim stands up and turns his attention back to Bloom, the captain tauntingly fires off two imaginary guns in the air before launching himself off the rope. In an impact that could only be described as 'hitting him with his entire body', Pirate connects with the Flying Pirate, and takes Jim down to the mat.

"Wow does that look devastating!"

"He doesn't even do anything though. He just fucking lands on him. That move's stupid."

Pirate rolls off and over to the ropes, beginning to slowly pull himself up. The fans are going nuts at the move, and Cletus is calling out to his partner to get something going. Pirate reaches his feet as Jim gets to his knees, and while the lumberjack is trying to stand, Bloom walks over to him and grabs him by the head. After Pirate pulls his opponent up, he goes back on the offensive, trying to shoot Big Jim off the ropes. However, the Black Rapids Brute plants his feet hard on his way over, and instead counters the whip, sending Pirate off to the ropes. After the swashbuckler comes back, Jim is ready for him and quickly picks him up around the waist, depositing Pirate on his knee with an Inverted Atomic Drop. As Pirate bends over, holding his groin, Jim backs off to catch his breath. With his hands on his thighs, Big Jim once again gets a twisted smile on his face, getting an idea. With Pirate bent over and not watching, his opponent charges forward and sticks his foot forward, nailing Bloom with a sick kick to the face. The smack echos through the arena as many in the crowd cringe at the impact. Pirate nearly goes headfirst through the ropes, instead getting hung up on the middle rope as Big Jim nearly runs him over trying to stop himself. After looking, maniacally, into the hard camera, Jim reaches down and grabs Pirate by the jaw, pulling his head up. He then steps back, letting the top rope dig into the shoulder blades of his opponent. Pirate shouts out in pain, but the referee isn't going to be lenient at all on this illegal move. He immediately gets in Jim's face and starts to count for a DQ...one...two...three...four...Again, Jim lets go right before the time is up, and laughs to himself, seeing Pirate, cringing, slump back over the middle rope.

"And this is endgame time. This is the point in the match where you want to put your opponent away, cause you just might not get another chance."

"It's endgame alright, but there's no chance Pirate's gonna do anything here except get pinned."

After Pirate starts to pull himself out of the ropes, Big Jim grabs him by the hair and starts to drag him away. He pulls Pirate upright, smirking at his opponent, and raises his other hand in a cup-like position, as if he was about to lock on the Pulp Hook. The fans start to boo as he waves his fingers in the air, continuing to tease his finisher. However, he never gets the chance to apply it, because out of nowhere, Pirate swings hard and nails the lumberjack in the stomach with a punch. The crowd goes nuts, as Jim seems to have given Pirate too much time. Not having expected the blow, this catches Jim completely off guard, and stunned, he releases his grip on Pirate's hair. Bloom, on his second wind, continues this last-ditch offensive by grabbing his opponent's head with both hands and connecting with a hard Headbutt, knocking Jim for a loop. Finally, Pirate leans back on the top rope before pushing both feet off into the air and driving them into the jaw of the Perverse Pulp Peeler, sending him stumbling backwards and down to the mat. Pirate lands on his feet and stops to catch his breath, looking out into the crowd, which is cheering him on whole-heartedly. Big Jim is actually starting to struggle to get up at this point in the match, so Pirate has no trouble staggering over to him and quickly locking him in a Front Facelock. However, before he can do anything out of that position, Cletus the Lumberjack quickly jumps back up onto the apron, just to fuck with him. The referee runs over to him, and Bloom drops Jim, but suddenly Cletus just climbs right back down. He holds his arms out to the side, having technically not done anything wrong, just reminding Pirate that he has the capability to do so. Pirate realizes this, and decides that this issue has to be dealt with. Jim is climbing to his feet, but Pirate pays him no heed at the moment, instead looking over at the side of the ring, upon making his decision, Bartholomew starts to run forward, stopping at the ropes to leap right over all of them, and takes Cletus clear out of the picture with a beautiful Suicide Dive.

"Oh my God!"

"Cost himself the match. Butt Pirate just cost himself the match right there."

Holy shit chants spring up throughout the arena as Cletus collapses against the barricade. Pirate, surprisingly coming out of that high-risk move for the better, stumbles backwards after the impact and catches himself on the ring apron. He catches his breath there as Cletus holds the back of his head. He's no longer a problem here. What is, however, is Big Jim, who stumbles over toward where Pirate went out. Pirate turns to see him coming and struggles to push himself up to a vertical base, using the bottom rope for support. Jim, wanting immediate revenge for Pirate taking out his partner, grabs the top rope and pulls it back, before springing up, using it to propel his slightly bulkier frame out of the ring as well. Pirate sees this coming however, and as the lumberjack is falling toward him, the captain dives back into the ring as quick as he can. With no one left to fall on, Jim's face smacks off the ring apron, and he lands in a heap, half in the ring, half out of it. The fans go nuts again as Pirate has outsmarted both members of the Logging Crew in a matter of seconds. Digging into his last reserves of stamina, Bloom uses the middle rope to slowly drag himself to his feet. After getting some balance set, he grabs Jim by the arm and pulls him back, fully into the ring. Big Jim might be out cold after taking that facefull of the mat, so Pirate has little trouble getting him back in the ring and up, wobbly, to his feet. He raises the lumberjack's arm as the crowd gets even louder. Pirate hooks him up, and then lifts him into the air before turning around himself and connecting with the Tidal Wave. Grunting as he turns Big Jim's limp frame over, Pirate shoots the half as the referee slides in to make the cover. Everyone in the arena counts along.....one.....two.....three!!!

DING DING DING!!!

"And The Pirate picks up a huge victory heading into the Big Ass American Bash!"

"Y'know, I think the only thing lower than my approval level for the Pay Per View name...is Butt Pirate's chances against the Russian Cannon!"

"I disagree, Joey. Momentum is a huge thing in this business, and Pirate just gained a lot of it tonight."