After a surprisingly easy victory (oh how wrong I was) for Danny Diamond over Axel Anvil, we cut backstage, where the fans are treated to a sight they will surely enjoy. The Pirate is walking backstage, his confident gait masking any signs of the vicious beating he took last week at the hands of Cerberus. He's decked out in his entire pirate getup, eyepatch and all. The crowd goes nuts as they see the Captain, and a slight grin crosses his face as he walks along. Possibly due to his eyepatch, or just cause he doesn't give a damn, he turns a corner and brushes past another wrestler. The camera pans up so show who it was...and it's David Harva. Standing with his manager, the large Russian takes the impact from Pirate and turns to him in shock. Absolute shock. "Did he really just do that?" shock. The Captain keeps walking, but is immediately stopped by the shrill cries of Benjamin Jeffery (which is spelled wrong, fyi).
"HEY! Where do you think you're going!"
Pirate stops. Slowly he turns on his heel to face the two newcomers. Strictly speaking, Pirate is a newcomer as well, but I digress.
"Aye, what ye be wantin' from me?"
"Heh, aye matey. Do you know what you just did, Butt Pirate?"
Pirate looks confused.
"Butt...Pirate?"
"Yeah, Butt Pirate, it means...it means you like....never mind. Do you know what you did?"
"Nay, enlighten me on what I did, lubber."
Benjamin shakes his head.
"You....you ran into my client! You ran into the True Champion of the World! You ran into...David Harva!"
He puts his hand back on his client's shoulder. Pirate smirks.
"Arr, is that all? Ha, my apologies, matey. I be not meanin' to harm yer...precious cargo."
Jeffery looks satisfied. Harva's face is emotionless, but not for long.
"I mean of course, I coulda' hurt yer poor little princess here, aye? He's gotta be spick and span fer next week when he goes out next week and talks instead of wrestles again!"
Jeffery's eyes widen. Harva's head turns up, a little surprised at the insults.
"Arr, I may be new to this here wrestlin' thing, but ain't that what we supposed to be doing here, wrestling, aye?"
"David Harva will be wrestling! It'll be at the Big Ass American Bash! Only if someone's man enough to face him! Heheh...maybe you could accept his challenge, there Captain Orlando Bloom."
"Arr, that be Bartholomew Bloom, lubber."
"Ah, can it. We all know who you really are."
"I know not what ye be talkin' bout. But anyway, I could accept that thar challenge. But I...I be thinkin' it could be too easy fer me!"
"Easy?!"
Harva angily takes a step forward toward Pirate, and Benjamin has to stop him and try to hold him back.
"Woah...hold yer fire, matey. Aye, too easy. I been here beatin' world champions, y'know. After I beat that Hitman Alex..."
Jeffery interrupts The Pirate.
"Like I said out in the ring earlier that Shitman Alex couldn't hold a candle up to David Harva. The Russian Cannon will beat anyone in his path. Including you!"
"...Arr, as I was sayin...After beating the world champion, yer first mate there doesn't really seem much a challenge, lubber. Russian Cannon, you say? Hahaharr, he be more like an overhyped piece of ballast!"
"That's it!"
Harva has had enough, and he quickly brushes by his manager to get to The Pirate. He grabs Bloom by the collar and slams him into the wall, lifting him ever so slightly off his feet.
"You haff no room to tolk, Pirate. You may haff beet Shitmen Elix, but you loose to Cerberus lasst week, and Cerberus no match for David Harva. I em not ballast, I em yur worst nightmere. I em Russian Cannon, and I will sink...yur...ship."
Benjamin tries to pry his client off of Pirate, to no avail. However, it is Pirate who frees himself, raising his arms up and slapping them down across Harva's, making him release his grip. Pirate falls to his feet and gets up in Harva's face, looking down on the shorter man.
"Rule number one of the high seas, lubber...don't...touch...the captain!"
Benjamin grabs David's arm and yanks as hard as he can, comically trying to pull him away.
"Come on, David. The Butt Pirate is wasting our time. Let's...get out of here."
Harva stays and stares down The Pirate for a few seconds before deciding to not get dirty here tonight. He steps back and lets his manager lead him away, still locking eyes with the captain, who for the first time since his return is actually angry, seething through his teeth.
"...Arr...ye know what, lubbers? I might just be havin' to accept yer challenge, after all."
Harva chuckles as he turns around and follows Benjamin down the hallway. The camera zooms back in on Pirate.
"...Arr...cause some lubbers need to learn their place..."
He turns and walks off as the camera quickly fades out to commercial...
Subject: S14.) "Hold Yer Fire" | The Pirate 
