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M1.) Kasabian Stalker vs. Joey Jobberton Empty
PostSubject: M1.) Kasabian Stalker vs. Joey Jobberton   M1.) Kasabian Stalker vs. Joey Jobberton EmptySun Nov 23, 2014 9:04 pm

Due by: November 29th, 11:59 PM EST
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Kasabian Stalker

Posts : 73
Join date : 2014-10-09
Age : 35
Location : Wellington, New Zealand

M1.) Kasabian Stalker vs. Joey Jobberton Empty
PostSubject: Re: M1.) Kasabian Stalker vs. Joey Jobberton   M1.) Kasabian Stalker vs. Joey Jobberton EmptyWed Nov 26, 2014 11:31 pm

The show kicks off in a rather unusual fashion, with the Perverted One, Kasabian Stalker set to square off against Joey Jobberton. His final match to prepare for the onslaught that will no doubt be Rob Chapman and the Intercontinental Championship, Stalker's eyes show none of the pressure that is upon him to perform. The Pervert, in contrast, looks relaxed and at ease as he awaits the referee to complete his pre-match checks. Kasabian stares across the ring at his opponent, who points cockily back towards him. Jobberton knows that a victory against the number one contender here could make waves for getting his wayward career back on track.

Joey Miles: "I was wondering why last week seemed like such a good show. Now I put my finger on it. There was a distinct lack of this bastard, Kasabian Stalker. Now we get the pleasure of him panting and sweating all over poor Joey Jobberton. It makes me feel sick."

Ted Cedar: "Kasabian Stalker was apparently undergoing some police scrutiny after complaints that he had kidnapped a pair of call girls and held them against their will. The sordid tales of the Pervert continue and nevertheless, he is back and in action here tonight."

Joey Miles: "Kidnapping call girls? Could the salary that XWA is paying him not cover the costs? And on XWA soil too, he is lucky to still have a contract."

One final chance, one hand raised at the end of the match. The referee calls for the bell.


Joey is first to leap into action, charging across the ring eagerly in anticipation of an early upset. His plans are thwarted, however, when Kasabian comes to meet him. The Pervert swings an arm viciously and catches Joey across the neck, his Clothesline sending Jobberton spinning inside out and crashing awkwardly to the mat. As one, the crowd let out a giant gasp that befits the impact of the brutal Clothesline, Vendetta 98 being punctuated with a bang.

Jobberton is not left down for long, Kasabian soon scooping him up into his oily clutches once again. Tossing Joey high into the air with a Flapjack lift, Kasabian raises his own fist to meet his opponent as he falls, driving an European Uppercut square into Joey's chin to send him spiralling back to earth once again. He lands with a thud, bouncing off the canvas and coming to rest just shy of the turnbuckle. Joey's body is lifeless, chest heaving and falling slowly as he lies helpless and prime for the picking.

Ted Cedar: "Meat Cleaver... My God, did you see the landing? Joey Jobberton might be completely out."

Joey Miles: "Kasabian Stalker has not come to muck around, he has come to send a message. The destruction this man can make is nothing to be laughed at. He is as freaky as a gimp at Christmas, but bloody hell the guy can cause some pain."

Ted Cedar: "Here am I thinking that he is called the butcher because Kasabian actually means 'Butcher' in Armenian... It is becoming more clear just how well he fits the name every time I see him."

Joey Miles: "You are an endless source of information Cedar. A regular old walking encyclopaedia."

Kasabian kneels beside his downed opponent, running a hand down Jobberton's back and stopping just above the hem of his black trunks. Joey simply reaches out for the ring ropes in reply, the brutality of Kasabian's moves having scrambled his brains to the point of punch-drunkenness. Smiling to himself at seeing his opponent's feeble attempt to escape, Kasabian swings his hips over and mounts the small of Joey's back, giving him ample access to any range of bizarre and perverted antics that he dons his trademark.

Instead of the violent, butcherish actions that had begun the match, Kasabian's hands soon seem to flow almost lovingly across Joey's body. He runs both palms down his opponent's back, slowly mopping up the sweat that had accumulated under the bright lights. With his hands sopping, the Pervert raises them to his face and rubs them over his own cheeks, letting out a sigh as he does so. He finishes by licking the remaining mixture off his fingers before swinging himself around 180 degrees so that he faces Joey's legs and feet. A playful twinkle soon fills his eyes and Kasabian once more opens up his palm. This time, instead of stroking, he takes to slapping Jobberton on the behind. The open palmed spank echoes out around the inner circle of the arena and Joey cries out in a mixture of surprise and pure violation.

The cry only spurs Kasabian on further. A second spank is followed by a third, much to the delight of the spanker. It is all that Joey can do to break the hold by reaching out the final few stretches to the ring ropes. The referee thankfully intervenes on Jobberton's behalf and breaks up the twisted games of the Pervert.

Ted Cedar: "Thank goodness for that. Had he kept on going, I had no idea what the Pervert was going to do next."

Joey Miles: "Yes, we pay to see blood... not butt. Letting Kasabian run rampart around the ring is a recipe for bad news and disaster."

Ted Cedar: "I wonder how far the authorities would let him go before they are forced to intervene and stop the match for everybody's sake?"

With his fun-time stopped abruptly, Kasabian's face turns into a bit of a pout. Venting his frustration on the referee, he berates the zebra-clad official with a flurry of words that are thankfully not picked up in the arena's monitors. By the time he had finished barking at the referee, Jobberton had managed to pull himself to his feet. To Joey's credit, he takes the opportunity to clobber Kasabian with a Double Axe handle in the hopes of turning the momentum of the match in his favour. However, his strike only serves to poke the frustrated bear. Kasabian wheels around and all but decapitates Jobberton with a Discus Elbow strike. Joey falls backwards into the ring ropes, not falling to the mat but propelling himself unconsciously back into the ring and back into Kasabian's clutches.

Kasabian transitions smoothly from move to move, following up the Discus Elbow with a Side Sunset Flip, drilling Joey back into the mat with venom once more.

Joey Miles: "Butcher's Hook now. This guy flips a switch and it is all on. He turns from love and affection to all out war at the drop of a hat."

Ted Cedar: "I think I prefer the perverted, stroky Kasabian. This one is damned scary."

Instead of pinning his opponent, Kasabian rolls him onto his stomach once more. Joey desperately tries to escape, pushing himself up onto all fours and crawling across the ring. Kasabian simply sees the actions as an enticing invitation. This time, when the Butcher mounts his opponent, he rides him like a donkey. Humiliatingly, he reaches behind him and spanks Joey Jobberton again on the behind, his open palm receiving a whimper in reply. With his second hand, he reaches below the donkey's legs and locks in one of his more unique moves, his patented Testicular Claw.

Joey Jobberton instantly howls in pain as Kasabian twists the family jewels cleverly out of sight from the referee. His right hand continues to spank his opponent as he rides him about the ring, Jobberton all the while howling in agony. It is when he collapses in the centre of the ring that Kasabian is able to twist the Testicular Claw into full effect. Spanking him non-stop now, simply for good measure, Kasabian's face is a picture of ecstasy at the sight of his poor opponent twisting and squirming underneath him.

The referee is not completely sure how to rule the less than legal submission manoeuvre. Before he can make a decision either way, Joey Jobberton's hand is hovering above the ring. A few spanks later, the long-time XWA member is tapping out, howling in pain at the effects of Kasabian's claw. The stunned crowd boo Kasabian as the hold is broken at the hands of the referee, but Kasabian cares little. He simply brings his fingers up to his face and takes in a deep breath of Joey's sweat. When he exhales, his eyes are alight and there is a smile on his face from ear to ear.


"Bones" by the Killers hits as Kasabian rolls out of the ring and makes his way back up the entrance ramp. His wounded opponent simply lies in the foetal position in his wake, slowly rocking himself back and forth to ease the agony.

"Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, by way of submission... Kasabian Stalker!"

Ted Cedar: "I am all but speechless, folks. I just don't know what we have witnessed here."

Joey Miles: "A Pervert doing what pervs do. He rode poor Joey around the ring like a donkey, spanking him on the ass... Then sealed the victory by twisting his balls off... That's not wrestling."

Ted Cedar: "With the referee not sure how to rule his unique offense style, it sure appears effective. Rob Chapman had better wear a cup, because I think he may be coming after some of Chapman..."

Joey Miles: "I think he may be coming after all of Chapman. More than Rob is willing to give. Let's hope our Intercontinental Champion shuts him up for good."


OOC: Just a quicky this week. Trying to get back into the swing of things with my new daughter and all Smile
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M1.) Kasabian Stalker vs. Joey Jobberton

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