Gopher Love Bites
Posts : 9666 Join date : 2013-07-19 Age : 31 Location : Arlington, Texas
| Subject: Vendetta #90 Gradings Sun Sep 07, 2014 12:53 am | |
| AZRAEL VS JAKOB AZAZEL SINGLES MATCH GRADER: Snoopz
Jakob Azazel: Very in-depth descriptive ability by you. Good stuff. You had an entertaining post. The beginning was funny and your match used the characters very well. Literally lol'd at the card-assisted Knife Edge Chops. The ending of your post was actually very intense and well done. All-in-all, a really good post. Good action, it was entertaining, the description was on point. All good.
Azrael: Your description is also quite good. This match is entertaining, as was Jakob's. You utilized Azazel's gimmick well. I'm not so sure about what you made Azazel say when he spoke, though. Something just seemed off about it. Regardless, you had good action and, as mentioned, good descriptions. I kinda liked the ending but I didn't. I liked the beat down, which was brutal, but I would've preferred if, when Ryu stepped in, he called for the bell due to Azazel being unable to continue. That would've made more sense, to me, than Azrael beating him senseless and then pinning him. Or at least hit his finisher first, although the ref calling it thing would've been better.
Verdict: A couple of really good posts from you guys. In the end, I can only pick one and it's gotta be Jakob Azazel. I just felt he did better in pretty much every aspect, although I really liked the brutal beat down at the end of Azrael's match. If he would've ended it like I mentioned, instead of how it did end, this match would've been a tad closer, but it'd still go to Jakob. Azrael, don't be discouraged. You did really good. Good luck to both of you in your respective title matches at Endure.
NICHOLAS CARSON VS XTREME ICON SINGLES MATCH GRADER: NONE
Xtreme Icon wins via no-show.
DANTE CROSS VS JAMES CARLISLE SINGLES MATCH GRADER: NONE
Dante Cross wins via no-show.
APHRODITE VS KANAKO TAKAHASHI SINGLES MATCH GRADER: NONE
Double no-show.
MADDOX PAINE VS SPYRO SINGLES MATCH GRADER: NONE
Storyline match.
AKIRA KOBAYASHI VS MARK STOREY SINGLES MATCH GRADER: Snoopz
Mark Storey: Please use a different color. This won't effect your grading, but that color is really hard to read. Anyway, this is basically what I expect from you. Great description, entertaining action, all around a good post. The System Shock reversal was a real highlight for me. This was much better than your first match back. Great job. There isn't much more I can say about this post. Your paragraphs were a tad big, but not too bad. I'm guilty of the same, anyway.
Akira Kobayashi: Like Mark, your paragraphs were also big. Your's were even bigger than his, though. Your third paragraph was too big to fit on my screen. Still not a very big deal, but it's something you might want to work on in the future. Nobody likes giant walls of text. Pretty good description, though not quite as good as Storey's was. I marked really hard for the Single Leg Boston Crab, with Akira stomping on Mark's hard as he did it. Fucking brutal. Your action was really good. I'm very impressed.
Verdict: This is a very close match. Both of you put forth great efforts and I'd love to see a rematch at some point in the future. It was a tough pick, but I honestly have to go with Akira. Mark, I didn't really say anything bad about your post because there wasn't really anything bad about it. You had better description than Akira, if only by a bit, but I felt he had the more entertaining action. Both of you did really good in every aspect, but I feel Akira just edged it everywhere but in descriptions. Good luck to both of you in your title matches.
RILEY WILLIAMSON VS NATE INSANO SINGLES MATCH GRADER: Myke
I got permission from Justin to do this vote, this way it'll speed up the voting.
Nate - Not going to lie, I didn't read the entrances. Hopefully there's nothing important in there. I'm just being honest. The only reason why I didn't is because this is going to be a quick vote. Moving on. I felt it was unnecessary when you said "ALSO" in capitals. I'm unfortunately one of those people who don't like it when real wrestlers are referenced. Granted, you did it to describe something. With how I pictured it, you didn't even need to say it was similar to The Undertaker. I did feel as though your opening paragraph was a good way to start the match off. Small pet peeve: try to stay away from using nicknames excessively. You use "The Insane One" in the second paragraph twice (which isn't that big of a deal) except it's slightly bothersome to read when it's just been done. I notice that sometimes you use words unnecessarily. For example: "Riley's back begins to sting, and he shows it by arching his back" - All you really needed to say was "by arching" or "by arching up(wards)". As the reader, we know his back is in pain, since it's how the sentence begins; therefore, we don't need to read he's arching his back, as it's already implied once you say "arching". Honestly, I preferred your third paragraph to the previous two. However, I've noticed that Riley has maintained control throughout the match. In each ending portion of the paragraphs, he has the upper-hand. It's good if you're referencing him as an underdog, but it can be bad otherwise, depending on how your character gets the victory. Doing a quick search, Riley isn't referenced as the underdog in your post. The submission spot was beautiful because with Nate laying on the mat, you have the referee see it as a pin. Kudos there. The rest of your post seemed rushed. And you did what I predicted: Nate getting a surprise victory. With no mention of Riley being an underdog.
Riley - Okay, your post was a pain to read. You need to break up your paragraphs. According to Word, your first paragraph is 808 words. None of which is broken up by any means (meaning just because or commentary). In order for me to read your post, I had to paste it in Word and break it up because the massive block hurt my eyes. In terms of description, it was good... then kind of just went down the crapper. Right off the bat, your post seemed rushed. The action is also thrown all over the place. I had a tough time reading it (and I'm not talking about it being a huge block of text right now). Your post was essentially "he does this" and "he does that". At least, in the opening paragraph. We'll see if that changes. "narrowly missing a broken neck" - DO MORE OF THIS. Give some feeling and meaning to your action. Show more fatigue. Show that they're human.
Verdict - Both of you guys had SPAG errors. Which is Spelling, Punctuation And Grammar. Both of you guys had parts in your posts which I myself significantly didn't like; Nate giving Riley the underdog treatment, and Riley with extremely poor spacing. To be fair, it seemed as if you guys both rushed your posts. Now Riley had a whole lot more action in his post. With that being said, he also had better spots. However, word count and more action don't always win. Nate's post told a better story, despite the fact that the story itself wasn't particularly told all that good. (I know; I'm coming off as a major asshole right now to the both of you, probably.) Riley, if you want to beat Justin for the championship, you need to do better. Please take my tips into consideration. I'm giving this victory to Nate. His post didn't seemed as rushed as Riley's, it told a better story, I was able to read it a lot easier, and it was a more enjoyable read.
Last edited by Señor Snoopz on Mon Sep 08, 2014 12:04 am; edited 3 times in total |
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Gopher Love Bites
Posts : 9666 Join date : 2013-07-19 Age : 31 Location : Arlington, Texas
| Subject: Re: Vendetta #90 Gradings Mon Sep 08, 2014 12:05 am | |
| Gradings are officially out.
Sorry for the shit gradings on my behalf. They were rushed. Myke volunteered to do a grading and did a good job, though, so thank you for that. |
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