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PostSubject: XWA Cripplefest   XWA Cripplefest EmptyWed Jul 24, 2013 12:30 pm

CRIPPLEFEST ROSTER [IN PROGRESS]

King Edge
Suffered a broken neck, now competes in a wheelchair. He is face and doesn't use his wheelchair for evilness.

Justin Lee Angel
Once an upcoming promising talent, JLA was diagnosed with brain cancer. JLA has undergone treatment and can stand (unlike most of the roster) but he is as vulnerable as fuck, and a feather would knock him down.

Mirage
Suffers from multiple-personality disorder, but this isn't Danny Diamond. This is rumored to be Kenny Kasual, suffering from withdrawal symptoms following his tragic marijuana (and cocaine) addiction. Mirage is sadistic like his predecessors in the mask, but is incredibly paranoid.

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PostSubject: Re: XWA Cripplefest   XWA Cripplefest EmptyWed Jul 24, 2013 4:12 pm

CRIPPLEFEST 'WELFARE MONEY' PART ONE** CARD PREVIEW
The PPV where every superstar battles for the chance to earn $1,000,000,000. Every superstar will enter the qualifiers in a series of triple threats, where the winners progress into the main-event battle royal. Verne Troyer is tonight's Social Media Ambassador, WWE's Jerry "The King" Lawler will give a speech on Asperger's Syndrome awareness and tonight we'll see an influx of talent straight from XWA! Whoever wins their qualifier matches will be guaranteed onto XWA Cripplefest's roster!

.: Match 1 - King Edge vs Matthew X vs Alexander Proud :.
King Edge is an XWA veteran who needs no introduction to the common wrestling fan. After his brutal Broken Neck match with Justin Kredible Xtreme, the former XWA superstar found it difficult to show for events and became a laughing stock to his fellow colleagues. King Edge has been confined to a wheelchair since he still can't move. Matthew X is a sickening son of a bitch, straight from Brooklyn, New York. He was once in the Bloods gang but was shot in the knee by a officer during a Police encounter. Matthew has been released from prison, but he is still hungry to break some necks. Matthew X competes on a pair of crutches, so don't expect any Springboard moves. Alexander Proud is a professional wrestler from Salt Lake City, Utah. While there's nothing wrong with him, he's a raging homosexual. Everybody claims he must be retarded for being gay, and Proud has since then undergone a 'pro-retard gimmick. Alexander's flamboyant personality is often expressed in his movements and unlike his opponents, he can move freely in the ring without the risk of falling over. Who will win this battle of diverse characters?

.: Match 2 - CB Punk vs Henry Bryson vs Muhammad Morsi Gaddafi II :.
CB Punk is another ex-XWA employee who has garnered a negative reputation. His obesity ultimately affected his work-ethic and it was not very long until Punk was released from XWA. But now XWA has created another brand, perhaps CB will make the most of this PROVERBIAL olive branch. Punk's obesity makes him a durable competitor, but once he is done, it is very hard for him to return to his feet. Henry Bryson is a man from Nova Scotia, which is somewhere in Canada. Bryson is actually quite a heavy hitter and is very skilled as a competitor with his technical skills. The only problem is that Bryson is a major hypochondriac and oversells like a Japanese Indy wrestler. The best offense policy for Henry is keep attacking before he gets attacked, otherwise he's toast. And finally, we have Muhammad Morsi Gaddafi II. He was brutalized in a riot in Egypt, and he lost his legs. Morsi Gaddafi competes in a wheelchair, but tends to be armed in combat like your average Muslim. It's quite interesting to see whether the ex-Taliban can get offense in on his expose-able foes. Which superstar will prevail in this spar of unpredictability?

.: Match 3 - Ryan Hall vs Drake Farley vs Ben Lowe :.
Here's another potential show-stealer: Ryan Hall, Drake Farley and Ben Lowe. Ryan Hall is just plain stupid and is a scrawny little fucker who hasn't won a match in probably three years. He can move fine, but he can't fight to save his life. Drake Farley is a pro-wrestler from Dublin, Ireland; and he is using XWA Cripplefest as a stepping stone while he recovers from his shoulder injury. He can walk and all that, but his shoulder is slung up for protection. It'll be interested to see how the European brawler adapts. Ben Lowe suffers from Tourettes Syndrome and his inability to control his movement leads to serious repercussions, what exactly does that mean? Imagine a level 10 Togepi who can only use Metronome.
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PostSubject: Re: XWA Cripplefest   XWA Cripplefest EmptyWed Jul 24, 2013 4:38 pm

CRIPPLEFEST 'WELFARE MONEY' PART ONE**

"Welcome everybody, to XWA CRIPPLEFEST!!!!!!! I'm Todd Grisham, and I suffer from LOW CONFIDENCE ISSUES! Alongside me is a man with a knack for raising talent, the American Dream, Dusty Rhodes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Wehh Todd is gweat to be her in Majison Swear Gardin wid all the wuvly people watchin these wetards wessle for a contract in X dubyu!!!!! I know we gotta show of wesslers who can make a diffwence to profwessional wessling, tonight!"
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.: Match 1 - King Edge vs Matthew X vs Alexander Proud :.
Everyone is in the ring now. King Edge is on his wheelchair, Matthew X is on his crutches whereas Proud stands tall on his two feet. The fans chant for the XWA legend that is King Edge "Get the fuck up!" repeatedly, as the gullible veteran basks in false glory as he smiles at his fans. Malcolm X looks at his foe King Edge, and immediately turns around and limps over to Alexander Proud for a sneak attack, but Proud charges up to Malcolm and knocks the nigger over with a Bicycle Kick!!!!!!!!

"Whoooooooa did yer see dat Todd! He lost da crutchess, and naw he cant stand up!!!!!!"

Malcolm scrambles on the mat as he tries reaching his crutches, but they drop out the ring! Proud turns around to motion for a skip, but is gored into the air as King Edge steamrolls into the faggot with his WHEELCHAIR!!!!!!!!!!!! PROUD STIRS ON THE MAT AS HE SCREAMS WITH FANS CHANTING "HOLY SHIT!" OVER AND OVER, and the XWA veteran is in the driving seat.

"HE GOT THEM DARN YEAH! PIM RIM EDGE!!! PIM RIM!!!"

King Edge leans forward and he splats out of his wheelchair and onto the body of Proud's! 1! 2! 3! DING DING DING!
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Caleb
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PostSubject: Re: XWA Cripplefest   XWA Cripplefest EmptyWed Jul 24, 2013 4:47 pm

God damn it Kenyon. face palm 
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PostSubject: Re: XWA Cripplefest   XWA Cripplefest EmptyWed Jul 24, 2013 5:17 pm

Minkaro can't even get hired by this show Sad
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https://www.youtube.com/user/MinkaroXIV
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PostSubject: Re: XWA Cripplefest   XWA Cripplefest EmptyWed Jul 24, 2013 5:45 pm

Can't wait for WheelChairMania.
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PostSubject: Re: XWA Cripplefest   XWA Cripplefest EmptyWed Jul 24, 2013 7:09 pm

Jim Ross should be an announcer..
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PostSubject: Re: XWA Cripplefest   XWA Cripplefest EmptyWed Jul 24, 2013 7:17 pm

Jesus you put a lot of effort into jokes. Funny
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PostSubject: Re: XWA Cripplefest   XWA Cripplefest EmptyThu Jul 25, 2013 10:59 pm

ROFL! ROFL! ROFL! ROFL! ROFL! ROFL!

Please continue this
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PostSubject: Re: XWA Cripplefest   XWA Cripplefest EmptySun Jul 28, 2013 8:19 pm

Ian wrote:
Jesus you put a lot of effort into jokes. Funny

This.
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PostSubject: Re: XWA Cripplefest   XWA Cripplefest EmptyThu Aug 22, 2013 3:49 am

ROFL! , ROFL! AND ROFL!
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PostSubject: Re: XWA Cripplefest   XWA Cripplefest EmptyThu Aug 22, 2013 11:00 am

The Dusty Rhodes part hahaha

You should continue this.
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