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 Vendetta #106 Grades

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Myke
Main Eventer
Myke

Posts : 4547
Join date : 2013-08-18
Age : 26

Vendetta #106 Grades Empty
PostSubject: Vendetta #106 Grades   Vendetta #106 Grades EmptyTue Mar 17, 2015 6:04 am

The Good Doctor vs. Joey Jobberton
Jobbers Singles Match
GRADER: None (Myke Will Provide Feedback)


The Good Doctor wins.

Jared Jerusalem vs. Bob Savage
Jobbers Single Match
GRADER: None


Jared Jerusalem no-showed.

Van "The Plan" Scarborough vs. Rufus Driver James Best
Singles Match | Qualifier Match
GRADER: None


James Best wins by no-show and advances into the TLC Match at Redemption.

Prince Alex III vs. Vertigo
Singles Match
GRADER: A Chihuahua with Rabies


PA3: You could seriously benefit from describing the action thoroughly. I feel like I'm reading a play-by-play. Everything's just going too fast. Paint a picture, make the reader feel like they're actually watching the match. Use descriptors. Figures of speech, adjectives; anything that can give life to a post. PA3 trying to remove Vertigo's face paint makes no sense. Like, sure, it's stated in Tim's profile; but Vertigo is a new character. PA3 trying to taunt him by use of the name "Reid Miller" would've made a bit more sense since it was shown in Tim's promo. Moving on, you could sell the moves more. As I'm reading through your post, it comes off to me as "This happened, then this, then this" when a good post should basically be "This happened, and then BECAUSE of that, this happened". For example, in one part of your match, Prince is dominating Vertigo, then Prince rolls him into the ring; and now all of a sudden it's Vertigo who's dominant? Wtf? Show that both competitors are human. Make them feel fatigue. Don't worry, I'm still pretty shit at selling too, tbh. Just keep practicing. The interaction between Tucker and Alex is pretty entertaining. Your action is alright, but it could be better; there's only a bit of wrestling in your post, really. Most of it is just strikes. Characterization is good - you showed an adequate amount of personality for all men involved in the match. Your ending was pretty cool, showcasing PA3's dominance, but it got diminished due to the lack of description. Overall, I appreciate you showing; but there is a LOT of room for improvement. Try reading some matches by Kani/Chilly/Rob/Snoopz and you'll see what I mean.

Vertigo: Your description's pretty good. I'm not sure how I feel about some of it though (example : "PA3’s head almost explodes", "as if the police are about to come and spray paint the outline of their bodies at the scene of a crime".). Don't worry though, it's more of a personal thing and I won't deduct points for it. The action is entertaining, and you sell consistently throughout the match. I think you could have sold the sleeper hold spot more though. "Prince’s face begins to turns red as he finds it continually difficult to breathe." came way too early in it's description to be believable in my opinion. The whole spot is a bit awkward, really. Alex has just been downed by one clothesline and an accidental ballshot; and he's like what, 300 pounds? He's sold to be this monster of a man, while Vertigo is more in the average area in terms of physique; which makes it a bit hard to believe for me that Vertigo would be able to make PA3 pass out that easily. The exchange of strikes preceding the UK Pride could have been described a bit more, though. The sudden succession of strikes by PA3 makes me picture it as he somehow instantly regained his stamina. I liked the ending. While it may be used a lot, it's still a classic. Reversing someone's finisher with a sig or something. I liked it. Anyway, good match. Just work on a few more things and you'll be able to climb the ranks on here.

Verdict: This has to go to Vertigo. He pretty much had the better match in all aspects. Maestro, don't be discouraged. Just keep writing and using the feedback given to you. Thanks both of you for showing, and congrats to Tim on your first victory here.


Ace Andrews vs. JHalc
Singles Match | Qualifier Match
GRADER: None


Double no-show. Neither man advances.

Matthew Bradley vs. James Knight
Knockout-Only Match
GRADER: None


Matthew Bradley wins by no-show. James Knight has left the fed.

Razor Xtreme vs. Mark Storey
Singles Match
GRADER: None


Razor Xtreme wins by no-show.[/b]
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Myke
Main Eventer
Myke

Posts : 4547
Join date : 2013-08-18
Age : 26

Vendetta #106 Grades Empty
PostSubject: Re: Vendetta #106 Grades   Vendetta #106 Grades EmptyTue Mar 17, 2015 6:04 am

So it looks as if PA3/Vertigo is the only match that needs to be voted on. If someone wants to do it, say so in this topic. If not, I'll do it when I get home from work later. (Past 6 PM EST)
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Pygmy
The Downward Spiral
The Downward Spiral
Pygmy

Posts : 1188
Join date : 2014-04-20
Age : 21

Vendetta #106 Grades Empty
PostSubject: Re: Vendetta #106 Grades   Vendetta #106 Grades EmptyWed Mar 18, 2015 10:52 am

Done with PA3/Vertigo
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Mæstro
TeamMoose
TeamMoose
Mæstro

Posts : 1565
Join date : 2015-01-11
Age : 18
Location : Lebanon

Vendetta #106 Grades Empty
PostSubject: Re: Vendetta #106 Grades   Vendetta #106 Grades EmptyWed Mar 18, 2015 1:24 pm

So, Congrats to Vertigo. Really good match, appreciate the feedback Decep and I hope I can improve by the time being.
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Tim
Jobber
Tim

Posts : 191
Join date : 2015-02-28
Age : 25
Location : Australia

Vendetta #106 Grades Empty
PostSubject: Re: Vendetta #106 Grades   Vendetta #106 Grades EmptyWed Mar 18, 2015 5:26 pm

Thanks to the feedback, I'll be sure to work on those points you raised in future.

Also, well done to Maestro, I look forward to facing you again sometime Big Grin!
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