Grader: Nobody.

Evan Flare wins via no-show.

Both people have no-showed and I haven't seen either in about a week. I'm not going to book either on the upcoming Vendetta... If either of you see this and want to be booked in the future, send me a PM.

Grader: RURO!!!

Maestro Punk: Okay, I'm going to start off by saying, this is going to be harsh.  But, if you are genuinely planning on fedding here, sticking around, being a regular member on our forum, then it'll do you good to take what is said in this to heart.  Fedding is an easy thing to improve on.  I've seen people who wrote matches this bad go on to get a lot better, and win titles.  No one starts out perfect.  However, you called out a fedding veteran and talked yourself up, this will be a lesson on why you don't just do that.  So, remember, this isn't meant to be personal, just going to be very bluntly honest.  So here we go.

For starters, you need to learn proper grammar, that's not to say you need to know perfect English, none of us do.  But when I can't sit and read through the match without cringing while reading, there's an issue.  I won't be the only one you hear that from either.  Grammar is a very simple thing to fix, and since I know that you're fairly young, you have plenty of time to correct this issue.  For now, since it won't be an immediate fix, I'd see if you can't use a proper word editor, most computers have Microsoft word by default.  If not that, there are various places to do so on the internet.  For now, while I may not be an English major or anything of the sort, I'll try to explain the things you need to work on with it as a start.  

Now, you need to learn how to write a proper sentence and space things out.  I'm assuming you're not experienced with forums/computers off the bat, so the typing issues are something you should learn now before they become a habit, as I've seen you type like this in the chat as well.  Space your words out, there is almost always a space between words, expect in some cases where words are hyphenated, and you don't need to be focusing on that.  And after each sentence, you should have two spaces.  Just as this grading is done, you see things spaced out.  Now, as for your use of commas.  You have five to six lines of words with no periods, no breaks, no pause.  That's called a run on.  You don't do that.  I'll show you an example of how a proper sentence would look like with an example from your match.  

"The Bell Rings And The match is underway,D-D connects with a cutter which is followed by a perfect German Suplex" should be more like this: "The bell rings as the match is now underway, D-D connects with a cutter.  Which is then followed by a perfect German Suplex."  The lack of realism in that sequence will be addressed later, but notice the difference there.  It's a lot more clear, easier to read.  Not rushed, not too much squeezed unnecessarily into one sentence.  That's a very key detail with your writing.  You want people to understand what it is you're trying to tell them.  If you just put up all this action into one giant blob of text no one will ever want to read it and you won't get anywhere.  

A large portion of the issues can easily be solved with a spell and grammar check site, or like I mentioned if you have it, Microsoft Word.  It'll help a lot, not everything is a must correct, as some wrestling moves for instance aren't going to be 'correct' by their standards, so that's fine.  The final note is, don't randomly capitalize letters in random words.  The only time you should have capital letters is the first word of the sentence and names.  Other than that, everything should remain lowercase.  

Now onto the match, nothing you did had any entertainment or realism in it.  You just threw out random wrestling moves until you felt like having your character score the victory.  Within less than a thousand words you had five German Suplexes delivered.  Not only is that repetitive, you don't even describe the transitions between the moves.  I assume you see all the other matches here, in fact, I recall Proggy mentioning that you stole a match of his at one point.  Regardless, start reading other peoples matches, anyones, though main event guys like David Michaels and Razor Xtreme would be good places to start with this.  Watch how they describe their matches.  They don't just list one move, then another, and then another.  There is a description to it.  I'll list an example for you to see here.  And I will read through your next match, so don't dare try to copy and paste it.  It's only an example.  

"With the match not going his way at the moment, Dave takes the advantage with an underhanded low blow to his foe.  Maestro drops to his knees, holding his manhood, the worst pain a man could possibly go through.  Quick to follow this up, Demento kicks him straight in the face, knocking him down to the canvas."

I had two moves in those sentences, it wasn't rushed, (Not particularly amazing either, but meh), and it reads far more clearly.  You don't want to just list moves.  Efedding, hell wrestling in general is more than just the moves.  There's a story to tell with it.  So, I'd say make sure to definitely read up on a lot of the main eventers here in XWA, and you should hopefully see some improvement there.  

That entire ending, just don't do that again.  After match beat downs are best left for feud setting, not just random bits to just do.  This wasn't a highly anticipated match to the crowd or anything of the sort.  It simply happens.  In the near future, leave it to a simple post match celebration/ending and nothing else until you've got a general idea of how things work properly in the fed.  As that was terrible, just plain terrible.  There's just no other way to put that.  

Now take what I've said here, and improve.  Like I said, fedding is not a hard thing to improve yourself in.  Just have to put the work in if you are really interested in it and you can get good pretty damn fast.  Hope to see that from you.

Dave Demento: Do I even really need to give you feedback?  You half assed the shit out of it, but it was legible, and had as much action/story as it needed to move on towards the match that you actually put effort into.  Simple as that.  Though I have to admit, I laughed pretty damn hard at the ending bit.  

Decision: I think it's quite clear it's going to Dave Demento.  Maestro, your match will probably be looked at as a joke for a good while.  However, I've seen worse, and I've seen the people who wrote worse improve.  Stick to it, and you can do it.  Definitely clear most of your stuff with Ian, as until you learn how forums/feds work, I imagine it'll be bad if you do much else.

Rellim:

Thoughts while reading: It wasn't... what I expected. Not a lot of build-up action. Some quick moves to start out with, Riley hits a pretty decent spot and then the goons cost him the win. I'm guessing this is rushed as we've talked about your scheduling issue.

Riley:

Thoughts while reading: It wasn't your best effort but another decent one. Nice back-and-forth action, a nice simple build... You didn't really do much characterization, if any at all... You did a very good job making Rellim seem strong while keeping your character on the roll he's on.

Verdict:

I think throughout Riley's match was better. I don't think Rellim gave it his best effort or really even close... Hopefully when he returns we'll see a better side of him.

Winner: Riley Williamson

Harvest no-showed but did post his promo. I'm unsure of his standing. Thanks to Riley Daniels for showing... Someone will look through your match and give you feedback after the rest of the gradings are done.

James Best no-showed as I gather seems to be an issue of his. I've seen him around and I'm unsure of his standing. As of right now I'm going to book him, but I'll try to PM him before the card comes out to verify his standing. Thanks to Jaylon Brown for showing... Someone will go through your match and give you feedback.

Kenyon no-showed. I was excited for this character, damnit. I'll book him once more as I have seen him around... Hopefully he bothers to show... but I have my doubts. Thanks to  Abdelrahman for showing. Someone will look through your match and offer you feedback after the rest of the gradings are done.

Dante Cross no-showed. We're came to an understanding about his schedule... I was really excited for this match, but things often go wrong. Thanks to Minkaro for showing... Someone will go through your match and offer you feedback after the gradings are complete.

Grader: Snoopz

Grader: Ian

Diveraz: Again, not as good as I have expected from you. The match was fairly simple but it had quite a bit of what I look for. It followed a logical progression, you did somewhat well on the characterization (Didn't do much for Drake, but I enjoy reading the unusual relationship between Diveraz and Takumi) One thing that stuck out to me was there wasn't enough build-up. I don't think you put in a whole lot of effort and it didn't really strike me as a rematch... In rematches I hope to see a special dynamic that just wasn't there in this match.

Dysfunction: The audible talking during the match to me was cheesy and I definitely think you could have done without it. You had nice back-and-forth action. It seems like every match on the card had someone kicking out of a finisher, which is something I definitely don't like. A lot of negative in my feedback, but the announcer banter almost seemed cliché. You did do a very nice job of making this match seem important – as you should have. There wasn't a ton of characterization but you definitely did more to evolve the relationship between Diveraz and Dysfunction. Your match was exciting, and despite me not liking the cheesy dialog mid-match, I rather enjoyed your finish.

Verdict:

Grader: Jay

Proggy:

iLike:

Verdict:

Grader: Ian

Greg:

Thoughts while reading: The first paragraph has some nice action. A nice easy flow that sets the tone that Caleb is the favorite without slapping the reader in the face with it... Very well done. Again, some nice, simple action in the second paragraph. It's building in a way I would expect it to. There has been some nice technical wrestling to this point but I would have expected the match to open with more speed. Not a criticism, merely an observation. The third paragraph, again, the action continues to build. I like that Greg is so over-the-top face. Playing to the fans, even making a joke mid-match, it's all great character building. Very good stuff. I was left a little confused by the mid-match segment with Smoke. I'm not quite sure why you'd do it there, or for that matter why you would include it at all... I'm looking forward to see how you build from that. I really liked the counters in the next paragraph and I thought the subtle build-up to the Boston Crab was done well. I'm not 100% sure why the heel announcer was cheering for Caleb, but then again I'm not 100% sure what his character is. Caleb's counter-offense was nice. With how your character was written in this match I think I can overlook the fact you wrote yourself to get out of the Lights Out Superkick, but kicking out (or in your case, getting your foot on the rope) after another person's finish isn't a habit I'd like to see you get in to. I really liked the second false-finish. Having Caleb kick out of your finisher after you kick out of his makes you two appear as equals and that's a great place to be in. “ghost riding a unicorn” Just a specular finish and a spectacular match. I read this match before Caleb's and I”m guessing it's going to be close. I read Caleb's match against TK and this is right up there... Maybe a bit better than that to be honest. I know Caleb went all out as well... Brilliant.

Caleb:

Thoughts while reading: Your matches started extremely differently. Greg's opening saw you set the tone for the match and yours saw Greg set the tone. Both are believable as Greg is the much larger competitor and Caleb is the 5x World Heavyweight Champion. One thing that has stood out to me is that I think you did a much better job with the announcers. I'm not sure what that's worth, but it's worth me pointing out. You also utilized the Boston Crab... That will be discussed later. Your T-Bone Suplex spot was borderline unbelievable IMO. I think I would have bought it more had Caleb brought him down and used his free leg to bounce off the ground so Greg could help. Outright catching him in mid-air is insane. I didn't really LOVE the shooting star press spot, either, as a person that hits the move is in perfect position to go for a pin fall but you did not. I was really stricken by how differently the Greg character was written from your perspective... Not in a good way. I understand that Caleb's feud, and therefore his prime directive, is targeting Smoke Xtreme, but the way you wrote that part made Greg feel like an afterthought. You both had double-false finishes.. I prefer the order of events that you chose, but more on that later. I liked the route you chose to take with Greg looking for a quick pin and it ultimately being his downfall.

Conclusion:

Grades Posted!